Let's enter Nerve.com's bad erotica writing contest!

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Details here: http://www.nerve.com/baderotica/

― M Matos (M Matos), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 00:16 (twenty-two years ago)

An ILE exquisite corpse-style bad erotica story, anyone?

― M Matos (M Matos), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 00:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Or we could just enter the Calvin/Hobbes slash and be done with it.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 00:19 (twenty-two years ago)

what is this C/H slash of which you speak, o Ned?

― M Matos (M Matos), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 00:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Or we could just enter the Calvin/Hobbes slash and be done with it.

I think my first ever post in ILE was Calvin/Hobbes slash.

― webber (webber), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 00:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Calvin and Hobbes slash hurts me in my heart

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 00:21 (twenty-two years ago)

It hurts Hobbes more in his whatever.

― M Matos (M Matos), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 00:21 (twenty-two years ago)

You missed the legendary post, M.? It was...uh...memorable.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 00:26 (twenty-two years ago)

that was mine anyway (not mine)

― webber (webber), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 00:28 (twenty-two years ago)

we should

― anthony easton (anthony), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 02:30 (twenty-two years ago)

whyever did you post that anyway?

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 03:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Hot damn! I love that Calvin and Hobbes piece, webber.

I'm all for entering the contest - count on me to throw in stuff about odd fetishes or whatever. (And I can give "how-tos" on S/M stuff, too.)

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 03:21 (twenty-two years ago)

wow. wow.

― M Matos (M Matos), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 05:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I think I want to start a "Let's persuade Ms Laura to start a BDSM Howto thread" petition.

― caitlin (caitlin), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 15:37 (twenty-two years ago)

hahaha
Next you'll be wanting to see Christopher Robin find his true self with Pooh (climactic punchline: "Oh bother!")

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 16:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Heh. I had forgotten that line of mine.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 16:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Dan Perry in all caps "DANGER WILL ROBINSON!" = Oh Lordy it'll hurt if I laugh any harder.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 16:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Ned, I think it's the "Pooh/poo" homophony that makes it extra-brilliant.

Nick: The really hilarious part is that I seriously said to myself "DANGER WILL ROBINSON! ABORT!" when I read that. Not good when sitting 10 feet away from coworkers.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 16:28 (twenty-two years ago)

I do that kinda stuff all the time Dan, only I also do it when I'm working (insurance is a harsh mistress...I end up cussing at the computer screen at least thrice daily), so they just think I'm totally insane (note: they're right).

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 16:34 (twenty-two years ago)

I think the story should feature the Sapphic Militant exploits of the Lezbollah Faction.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 16:37 (twenty-two years ago)

And after they die in a suicide bombing their exploits with the 72 virgins.

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 16:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm gonna enter a totally unerotic story.

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 16:48 (twenty-two years ago)

just randomly insert the word "WANG" into a Dave Barry col.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 16:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Everybody who contributes to this should end their piece with "and then they all lez up".

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 16:51 (twenty-two years ago)

"it was a dark and horny night..."

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 16:52 (twenty-two years ago)

ah, that's how mine begins!

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 16:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Let's write a Penthouse Forum-type letter set in a Basra military outpost.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 16:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Astronomy Mod to thread!

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 16:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Getting an Orlando jones
DAVE BARRY (with randome WANGS by H. Mann)

Every year, we return to Orlando. Instinct makes wang do this. We are like the salmon who must swim upstream to spawn, and die. They are lucky. We must go to theme parks.

A theme park is an amusement park where you pay one wang admission fee, which is quite steep, but once you're inside, everything is totally free, except all the other stuff you end up buying, which will run you around $11,000 per wang.
Every few yards you find yourself stopping to buy high-priced theme-park food, theme-park merchandise, theme-park wang and theme-park photographs of yourself looking theme-park ugly.

Sometimes you stop and just spontaneously throw money into the theme-park air. You can't wang yourself! You're theme-park stupid! Everybody's wang drops at theme parks. Really smart people, Mensa members, will stand in line for two hours so they can go on a 90-second ride with a name like ''The Runaway Wang.'' They do this because everybody else is doing it, and because they paid for it, and because they're going to have FUN, dammit!

Orlando, of course, is Fun Central; it's infested with wang parks. Thousands of Orlando residents make their living looking out through the eye holes of giant smiling character wangs. At quitting time, they go to the Theme Park Workers' Bar, where you see everybody -- Pluto, Popeye, Bugs Bunny, Piglet, etc. -- pouring martini pitchers directly into their wang holes, trying to forget about a day that consisted largely of having small, highly excited children run into them at exactly crotch level. Around 2 a.m. everyone staggers out to the parking lot to watch Chip and Dale pound wang other senseless. Those two HATE each other.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 17:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Nope, that still made me hot. So I guess it's failed bad erotica.

― Nick A. (Nick A.), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 17:12 (twenty-two years ago)

*grin* Thanks, Caitlin. Actually, I have a really oddly nagging feeling that I owe you an email - sheesh, I need a social secretary. Any takers?

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 17:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Maggie Gyllanhall to thread!

― Leee (Leee), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 22:50 (twenty-two years ago)

''The Runaway Wang.''

Everybody have fun tonight...everybody Wa...argh....uh..aaggghaa...rrgghh

― Skottie, Tuesday, 1 April 2003 23:55 (twenty-two years ago)

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