ILX quoted out of context

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This is the thread where you repost a posting from another thread that--when taken out of the context of its original thread--is either scary, funny, lewd, evil or other!

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 00:47 (twenty-one years ago) link

Ha. Figures. It's been a dry couple of days, even though I've been rolling up the rim furiously.
-- Sean Carruthers (oneiro...), March 31st, 2003.

― Bryan (Bryan), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 00:51 (twenty-one years ago) link

Hey now, Sean. Let him seduce you with his trenchcoat.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), April 1st, 2003.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 01:03 (twenty-one years ago) link

I like the idea of this thread, but sadly/happily, I think that most of the threads in their original contexts are likely to be much filthier. In the best possible sense!

― Skottie, Tuesday, 1 April 2003 03:46 (twenty-one years ago) link

I think I get taken out of context for the most innocent remarks anyway! One of the tragedies of my life.

― ChristineSH (chrissie1068), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 10:58 (twenty-one years ago) link

"Excuse me, but where are the X'O's?"
Elliott Smith to thread!

-- Jody Beth Rosen (edito...), April 1st, 2003. (later)

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 1 April 2003 16:03 (twenty-one years ago) link

I can never hear that phrase again without thinking of Patrick Bateman's naked body.

-- Mary (maj23...), April 15th, 2003. (later)

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 01:39 (twenty-one years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Oh no! What are all the chronic wiener eaters going to do?
-- Jodi (jenkyhaypatch...), April 30th, 2003 12:56

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:19 (twenty-one years ago) link

Sean, I don't think they make buns small enough.
-- Nick A. (emmaa...), April 30th, 2003. (later) (Nick A.) (link)

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:22 (twenty-one years ago) link

Ha!

― Nick A. (Nick A.), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 17:29 (twenty-one years ago) link

I fucking the sight of the male body.

-- Calum (ca...), April 30th, 2003.

Best.* Typo. Evah.

*"best" as in "most telling of the things going on in the subconcious of the person what posted it"*

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 18:21 (twenty-one years ago) link

It's a Freudian slit, no doubt about it.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 18:28 (twenty-one years ago) link

Damn, sorry, Freudian gymslip.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 18:29 (twenty-one years ago) link

I want = I want someone
-- amateurist (am...), April 29th, 2003.

― Marcel Post (Marcel Post), Wednesday, 30 April 2003 23:16 (twenty-one years ago) link

god i just want to beat him around the head and neck with my dick until he passes out or it breaks off
-- jess (dubplatestyl...), April 23rd, 2003.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Thursday, 1 May 2003 01:05 (twenty-one years ago) link

jess into turkeyslapping shocka

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Thursday, 1 May 2003 01:08 (twenty-one years ago) link

Three beers, p'shaw! At least with grandpa, I actually make it to work tomorrow. =)
-- Kim (grimstitch...), May 1st, 2003 10:18 PM.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Thursday, 1 May 2003 01:24 (twenty-one years ago) link

he also wants to fist tony robbins

― minna (minna), Thursday, 1 May 2003 02:51 (twenty-one years ago) link

Better than wanting to fist Tony Robinson. Arrrr. "That is clearly dirrrrr-ty!"

― kate, Thursday, 1 May 2003 08:16 (twenty-one years ago) link

your jetset lifestyle is impressive gareth, BUT HOW LONG CAN IT LAST
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald...), April 29th, 2003. (later)

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 1 May 2003 20:49 (twenty-one years ago) link

muff?

-- RJG (r_gillander...), May 1st, 2003.

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 1 May 2003 21:13 (twenty-one years ago) link

My sister does that 'scratching-and-sniffing' thing and it drives my Dad bonkers.

--Mandee

― buttch (Oops), Thursday, 1 May 2003 21:15 (twenty-one years ago) link

does this mean i need to come clean about my gender?
-- jess (dubplatestyl...), May 2nd, 2003 10:01 AM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Could it wait? I was enjoying having you over me.
-- felicity (felicityredwel...), May 2nd, 2003 10:04 AM.

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 1 May 2003 23:42 (twenty-one years ago) link

Haha! Best post of thread

― buttch (Oops), Friday, 2 May 2003 03:47 (twenty-one years ago) link

It was crying out to be used, I have to say :)

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 2 May 2003 04:21 (twenty-one years ago) link

"I LIKE COFFEE AND SCOTCH AND SEX! I AM AN ADULT! CAN YOU BUBBLEHEADS PLEASE TONE IT DOWN A LITTLE IN HERE?"
Kenan on the I hate fun thread.

― Sarah Mclusky (coco), Friday, 2 May 2003 18:23 (twenty-one years ago) link

make that "come to"... fuck. See I can't even control my HANDS here...
-- Kim (grimstitch...), May 2nd, 2003 7:14 PM

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Saturday, 3 May 2003 03:25 (twenty-one years ago) link

I've never thought of Bernard Sumner's antics as fey.
-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), February 28th, 2003. (spencermfi) (link)

― Ally (mlescaut), Sunday, 4 May 2003 05:11 (twenty-one years ago) link

I'm dead at Ypres in 1917 with the rest of you. It's a veritable mentalist holocaust.
-- amateurist (amateuris...), May 5th, 2003. (later) (amateurist) (link)

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 5 May 2003 15:15 (twenty-one years ago) link

Maybe it's the smoking that's causing a problem. It was fine last night. Today it's throbby and HUGE
--Ally

― buttch (Oops), Monday, 5 May 2003 18:24 (twenty-one years ago) link

I'd rather eat my sister
- Alix

Um, you're not twins are you, Alix? By any chance?

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 18:40 (twenty-one years ago) link

My periods are all over the place. :-(
-- kate (masonicboo...), May 6th, 2003. (later)

(Confession - I took out some of this post to make it more open to misinterpretation)

― Nick A. (Nick A.), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 18:45 (twenty-one years ago) link

"...non vagina teeth..."

-- alix (lixibel...), May 6th, 2003. (alix)

This combination of words will stick with me for quite some time.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 18:49 (twenty-one years ago) link

This thread makes me MAD!

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), May 8th, 2003. (later)

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 8 May 2003 16:58 (twenty-one years ago) link

I think I've smelled that rectum before.
-- Curtis Stephens (sevenxvii...), May 16th, 2003 2:36 PM.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 16 May 2003 16:05 (twenty-one years ago) link

Sad to say, only Stoppard has ever really gripped me in the theatre.
-- Alan (AlanTrewarth...), May 20th, 2003. (later)

― NA. (Nick A.), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 11:47 (twenty-one years ago) link

The Real Ghostbusters are Nazi's.

-- Pete (pb1...), May 20th, 2003 6:11 AM. (Pete) (later)

― slutsky (slutsky), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 17:46 (twenty-one years ago) link

I got erection.
-- Ally (mlescau...), May 20th, 2003. (mlescaut) (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I had a hand full of that. What did I do with it? I did it clean.
-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), May 20th, 2003. (vassifer) (later) (link)

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 20:18 (twenty-one years ago) link

Every time I get an erection, the front seam of my pants violently explodes, revealing my throbbing manhood. It's really embarrassing.
-- Kenan Hebert (khebert...), May 21st, 2003. (later)

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 17:55 (twenty-one years ago) link

there was context to that??

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 18:03 (twenty-one years ago) link

Yeah, in context it's perfectly appropriate.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 18:59 (twenty-one years ago) link

It's so salty and warm...
-- jm (jimmythemo...), May 22nd, 2003. (later)

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 22 May 2003 17:43 (twenty-one years ago) link

I hope you can see this...because I'm doing it as hard as I can.

-- Jordan (jordancohe...), May 23rd, 2003.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 23 May 2003 16:32 (twenty-one years ago) link

If I ever get intimate with any of you, please bite me.

-- Christine "Green Leafy Dragon" Indigo (christineindig...), May 26th, 2003.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Monday, 26 May 2003 00:13 (twenty-one years ago) link

"...you want a blow job from me, ok? ..."

-- Ally (mlescau...), May 26th, 2003 1:12 PM. (later)

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 26 May 2003 03:15 (twenty-one years ago) link

Oi!

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 26 May 2003 03:22 (twenty-one years ago) link

heh

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 26 May 2003 03:42 (twenty-one years ago) link

(reading this thread while listening to The Russian Patriarchate Choir sing 'Hymn To The Mother Of God' was a minor miracle of a multi-media experience - in a word, ILXuriant)

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Monday, 26 May 2003 21:24 (twenty-one years ago) link

(said to Ned on the Fred Durst thread)(hey!)

Here, let me turn on the vacuum cleaner and let you pretend it's Kevin Shields...whhiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!

-- Anthony Miccio (anthonym...), May 27th, 2003 12:31 PM

Am I the only one to whom this sounds dirty?

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 23:27 (twenty-one years ago) link

yet, at least text wise, that's the clean version, i believe.

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 23:34 (twenty-one years ago) link

Skipping 1252 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

I love both of you guys and would FAP anytime but I am really so mad about this, I'm just gonna unbookmark

― bad milk blood robot (sleeve), Tuesday, February 1, 2022 6:48 PM (eight minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

― Precious, Grace, Hill & Beard LTD. (C. Grisso/McCain), Wednesday, 2 February 2022 00:58 (two years ago) link

one month passes...

Wait, I'm assuming Mendelssohn hated LZII. If he liked it, then the review stinks.
― sund4r subramanian (sund4r), Monday, November 22, 2004 12:31 AM (seventeen years ago) bookmarkflaglink

― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 22 March 2022 19:10 (two years ago) link

six months pass...

Ian's not coming over the top of me anymore, but it is going over Neanderthal.

― Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Wednesday, September 28, 2022 12:10 AM (thirty-five seconds ago) bookmarkflaglink

― sorry, it's just Babe (2006) (Evan), Wednesday, 28 September 2022 04:12 (two years ago) link

one month passes...

sounds like there needs to be a big jack off to determine who's the first result

― Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Friday, November 11, 2022 1:34 PM bookmarkflaglink

― Fash Gordon (Neanderthal), Friday, 11 November 2022 19:04 (one year ago) link

two months pass...

oh great, now i wanna party with difficult listening hour's mom
― alpine static, Thursday, February 2, 2023

― POLIZISTEN VERSINKEN IM SCHLAMM (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 2 February 2023 04:52 (one year ago) link

haven't thought about that asshole in years

― I? not I! He! He! HIM! (akm), Saturday, February 11, 2023 8:03 PM bookmarkflaglink

― waiting for a czar to fall (Neanderthal), Sunday, 12 February 2023 01:04 (one year ago) link

Hope the obits spend as little time as possible on My Ding-a-Ling.

― Camaraderie at Arms Length, Saturday, March 18, 2017 5:29 PM (five years ago) bookmarkflaglink

― an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Monday, 13 February 2023 00:11 (one year ago) link

Plenty of us liked it in 2003. And she can like any color and temperature of cum she damn well pleases.

― Malevolent Arugula (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, February 18, 2023 10:21 AM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

― an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Saturday, 18 February 2023 17:50 (one year ago) link

My hopes for Girlfriend are dwindling

― the forces of darkness making making us laugh ourselves into DEATH?? (dog latin), Monday, February 20, 2023 2:51 PM (one minute ago) bookmarkflaglink

― na (NA), Monday, 20 February 2023 20:53 (one year ago) link

three weeks pass...

"My Year of Dicks" was easily, totally better all around.

― Ned Raggett, Monday, March 13, 2023 10:33 AM (thirty-six seconds ago) bookmarkflaglink

― an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Monday, 13 March 2023 15:37 (one year ago) link

three months pass...

I had blessedly forgotten James's turgidity.

― immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Saturday, June 17, 2023 1:27 PM

― mookieproof, Saturday, 17 June 2023 18:33 (one year ago) link

Nude slaps in this

― blue6ave, Tuesday, 31 January 2023 06:16 (four months ago) bookmarkflaglink

― ledge, Thursday, 22 June 2023 12:04 (one year ago) link

Yeah I also listened to as much as I needed to. I am a reasonably tolerant fan, but I don't need to spend six hours with Tony's organ

So to speak

― pomplamoose and circumstance (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, June 27, 2023 10:30 AM bookmarkflaglink

― sad Mings of dynasty (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 27 June 2023 14:40 (one year ago) link

two weeks pass...

So what ever happened to balls?

― immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Thursday, July 13, 2023 9:51 PM bookmarkflaglink

― linoleum gallagher (Neanderthal), Friday, 14 July 2023 13:42 (one year ago) link

there's - ordinarily - a left one and a right one, a lower and an upper one

im gonna say it would be pretty embarrassing not to have them sorted

― Ár an broc a mhic (darraghmac), Friday, 14 July 2023 13:51 (one year ago) link

three weeks pass...

i'm only at no.10 right now but yes, so far i feel the Big Issues™️ have always been red herrings and it's actually at its best when everything is v small and crappy beer and ppl being dumb weasely shits

― mark s, Thursday, 3 August 2023 18:26 (five days ago) bookmarkflaglink

― Ár an broc a mhic (darraghmac), Tuesday, 8 August 2023 18:09 (one year ago) link

nice

― rob, Tuesday, 8 August 2023 20:54 (one year ago) link

I sometimes skip pulling my pants down before i start peeing

― Monthly Python (Tom D.), Wednesday, August 9, 2023 3:35 PM (four minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

― budo jeru, Wednesday, 9 August 2023 20:40 (one year ago) link

lol I was the one who said it first, he was just quoting me.

― linoleum gallagher (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 9 August 2023 21:00 (one year ago) link

bloody hell, piss clout theft going on here!

― vodkaitamin effrtvescent (calzino), Wednesday, 9 August 2023 21:30 (one year ago) link

it's definitely funnier to imagine Tom D. saying it, sorry!

― budo jeru, Wednesday, 9 August 2023 22:32 (one year ago) link

three weeks pass...

you guys need to FAP immediately

― the dreaded dependent claus (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, August 31, 2023 5:15 AM (three hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

― an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Thursday, 31 August 2023 13:42 (one year ago) link

one month passes...

I'm also edging pretty close to a $50 certificate, so I feel good about sitting tight and waiting

― Dwigt Rortugal (Eric H.), Tuesday, October 17, 2023 12:39 PM (fourteen minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

― an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Tuesday, 17 October 2023 17:55 (one year ago) link

Scat, generally, is not my thing but I have no quarrel with those who enjoy that aspect of her career.

― The Royal House of Hangover (Ye Mad Puffin), Sunday, October 22, 2023 4:06 PM (fifty-four minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

― budo jeru, Sunday, 22 October 2023 22:01 (one year ago) link

Budo, lol. I was tempted to phrase that differently but decided on what I thought was the safest path. Still perilous, apparently.

― The Royal House of Hangover (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, 23 October 2023 02:20 (one year ago) link

When did six feet become "not very big"?

― clemenza, Sunday, October 22, 2023 8:17 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

― an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Monday, 23 October 2023 02:47 (one year ago) link

one month passes...

michelle, because of the shia labeouf taint

― sonderangerbot, Friday, September 9, 2011 12:17 PM (twelve years ago) bookmarkflaglink

― an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Saturday, 9 December 2023 18:45 (ten months ago) link

So that's what the French in that Beatles song means

― STUPID CRAP FACE (Neanderthal), Saturday, 9 December 2023 19:52 (ten months ago) link

three weeks pass...

that's settled it - I'm doing John Adams again!

― vodkaitamin effrtvescent (calzino), Saturday, December 30, 2023 11:54 AM (one minute ago) bookmarkflaglink

― an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Saturday, 30 December 2023 17:58 (ten months ago) link

Abigail not into threesomes iirc

― poppers fueled buttsex crescendo (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, 30 December 2023 18:12 (ten months ago) link

I certainly never forgot The Beaver

― stephen miller is not your friend (Eric H.), Tuesday, January 2, 2024 1:00 AM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

― ꙮ (map), Tuesday, 2 January 2024 02:14 (ten months ago) link

whiney i hope you're limbering up this is gonna take a lot of stretching

― Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 2 January 2024 16:12 (seven hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

― close encounters of the third knid (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 January 2024 23:41 (ten months ago) link

So many great bears

― Οὖτις, Saturday, February 18, 2017 8:25 PM (six years ago) bookmarkflaglink

― an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Tuesday, 9 January 2024 00:05 (nine months ago) link

Smarter than the average

― CthulhuLululemon (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, 9 January 2024 00:31 (nine months ago) link

the Barry Keoghan penis thing was weird

― Disco Biollante (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 9 January 2024 21:14 (two minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

― close encounters of the third knid (darraghmac), Tuesday, 9 January 2024 21:18 (nine months ago) link

one month passes...

Always happy for more Coffins!

― Maxmillion D. Boosted (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Wednesday, February 14, 2024 1:06 PM bookmarkflaglink

omg does ur bloodlust know no bounds??!!!1!!!111!!!

― Neanderthal, Wednesday, 14 February 2024 18:09 (eight months ago) link

absolutely fucking floored by this knob news lads, never even dreamed such a thing was possible

― memphis milano: the new trend of the 80s (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 26 February 2024 10:51 (three minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

― ledge, Monday, 26 February 2024 10:56 (eight months ago) link

xp - lol Neando

― Maxmillion D. Boosted (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Monday, 26 February 2024 15:55 (eight months ago) link

three weeks pass...

got a ticket for 9/11 yeahhhhhhh

― Murgatroid, Wednesday, March 20, 2024 11:39 AM (three minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

― an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Wednesday, 20 March 2024 16:43 (seven months ago) link

I’ve got two towers to paradise

― papal hotwife (milo z), Wednesday, 20 March 2024 16:49 (seven months ago) link

four weeks pass...

he might be onto something with this diaper thing

― frogbs, Thursday, April 18, 2024 8:43 AM bookmarkflaglink

― CEO Greedwagon (Neanderthal), Thursday, 18 April 2024 14:08 (six months ago) link

one month passes...

I wouldn’t have pegged him as a third but I understand some feel differently

― subpost master (wins), Saturday, May 18, 2024 10:14 AM (nine minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

― an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Saturday, 18 May 2024 15:26 (five months ago) link

…

― subpost master (wins), Saturday, 18 May 2024 15:27 (five months ago) link

one month passes...

Johnny's right hand is legendary

― Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, July 11, 2024 12:33 AM (seven hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

― an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Thursday, 11 July 2024 12:57 (three months ago) link

two weeks pass...

LMAO I HAD FORGOTTEN ABOUT THE BALL-TANNING

― laughter is the best weapon (DJP), Tuesday, July 30, 2024 3:05 PM (seventeen minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

― an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain), Tuesday, 30 July 2024 20:34 (three months ago) link

Slut was robbed.

― Popture, Thursday, 27 October 2011 22:11 (twelve years ago) bookmarkflaglink

― Defund Phil Collins (Tom D.), Wednesday, 31 July 2024 18:23 (three months ago) link

four weeks pass...

yeah, I want a better look at his hog

― There’s a Monster in my Vance (President Keyes), Wednesday, August 28, 2024 4:12 PM (twenty-four minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

― Charlie Hair (C. Grisso/McCain), Wednesday, 28 August 2024 21:38 (two months ago) link

three weeks pass...

that could have been my first confession: bless me father, I'm wearing a fake tie.

― vodkaitamin effrtvescent (calzino), Saturday, 21 September 2024 18:36 (three hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

― John Backflip (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Saturday, 21 September 2024 21:03 (one month ago) link

It’s pretty amazing that this thread is 17 years old and Dick is still alive

― There’s a Monster in my Vance (President Keyes), Friday, September 27, 2024 10:08 PM (fifty-eight minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

― Charlie Hair (C. Grisso/McCain), Saturday, 28 September 2024 04:07 (one month ago) link

one month passes...

Surprised Roy Cohn isn't trending today after the fellating last night

― bratwurst autumn (Eazy), Saturday, November 2, 2024 2:10 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

― Charlie Hair (C. Grisso/McCain), Saturday, 2 November 2024 20:48 (three days ago) link

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