Write my contributor's note for me.

What's the publication about:

"Mandee considers herself to be the world's greatest living writer, she is probably better than all the dead ones too"

Mandee was born in Tallahassee, at least that's what her parents told her.

"When not contributing to this publication, Mandee spends her time collecting daffodils, contemplating the word 'ersatz', and filling up ketchup bottles in local diners"

Woo, I like them so far!

'mostly I've thought about why I am not yet dead. this contribution hasn't helped me discover the reason.

I hope, someday, to be able to say I know something more.

M.W.'

what is the piece about?

It's a story called "We Three Will Ride"... it's going to be published here.

"Mandee works part-time as a truck stop waitress. She'd appreciate it if the ass-grabbing came to a swift end. Thank you, and come again."

Mandee wast voted Most Likely to Be Passed-Out Drunk at Her Own Wedding by her high school's senior class. While she is not married yet, she's hoping to get the puke cleaned off her gown by June.

Mandee's professional wrestling name is "The Maneater".

June Allyson does dry cleaning now?

"Mandee is very tired of explaining the two E's."

Most other contributors notes go like this:

So-and-so lives in Brooklyn and is at work on so-and-so's third book, "book title," which expects publication by some publisher next fall. So-and-so earned his or her MFA at some impressive school and has been translated into a great number of languages, has won the something prize for some story, and also likes to do something kind of wacky in his or her free time.

The problem with me is that I don't have a book, nor do I expect to have one, I don't have any fancy degrees, I don't have a massive publication history. My last contributor's note read: "Mandee Wr1ght lives in Colorado and types for a living. She regularly consoles crying people over the telephone."

Mandee Wright once wrestled an alligator. The results of which are currently in dispute with the Nevada Athletic Commission and as such, Ms. Wright is unable to comment. Please direct all inquiries to Ms. Wright's attorneys, Emerson, Lake & Palmer, c/o General Delivery, Buford Springs, CO.

Who says you don't have a book? "Mandee has just finished a biography of Bj*rk, to be published under the pseudonym Mark P***** later this year."

"Do not read my story if you hate me"

"Do not hate me if you read my story"

"Mandee invented the Antiques Roadshow format and as such never has to work again. The mere fact that she used her brain to write something new for you lot is a privilege and you better believe it. She also thought of Jeopardy - but in her version the questions were asked and you had to get the answers - which you would appreciate is a more intelligent way of doing it."

"Mandee W***** is a force of nature and as such has no off button."

here's mine:

RJG lives in Glasgow and is at work on his first novel, "how horses ruined america," which expects publication by RJG in an autumn. RJG has studied three years of architecture at the University of Strathclyde and hopes to return soon to pass that third year and complete the rest of the course. He has been shortlisted for a couple of really basic competitions and stuff and likes to drink and smoke and sleep in his free time.

You may remember Christopher Lloyd in such memorable films as "Camp Nowhere", "Dennis the Menace" or "The Addams Family,"--he's also expecting the publication of his first novel, "Chattering Faces," in June of 2004. He continues to stand beside his love for the cinema and also likes petting his dog, Yorkie.

I'd go with your own description of the typical contributor's note

"So-and-so lives in Brooklyn and is at work on so-and-so's third book, "book title," which expects publication by some publisher next fall.
So-and-so earned his or her MFA at some impressive school and has been translated into a great number of languages, has won the something prize for some story, and also likes to do something kind of wacky in his or her free time."

I PREORDER CHATTERING FACES

I PREORDER, TOO... CLICK-CLICK, MOUSE!