Using "gay" as a non-sexual descriptive adjective: c/d?

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You know, as in "that movie was so gay." (This is probably more of an American-teenager thing.)

I'm thinking gigantic dud when "gay" is just supposed to mean "bad" or "not cool." I'm also thinking duddish when used to mean "very much like stereotyped notions of the behavior of homosexual men," but then I have slight reservations about that, because I suppose sometimes what you really mean is just "very much like stereotyped etc." For example: I saw a little four or five year-old boy the other day wearing a sleeveless t-shirt and a pink headband, and I thought, "This kid looks so adorably gay."

But so, to relieve my feelings of the potential duddishness of that phrasing, can you offer up another term that means "very much like our most ridiculous stereotypes of flamingly effiminate gay males," but is shorter than saying all of that?

― Nitsuh, Thursday, 6 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

All of this stems, by the way, from my hating the fact that so many people just toss "gay" around as a pejorative term about inanimate objects and experiences and stuff, but then I found myself referring to three things in a row as "gay" last night. (Although each of them did have the actual quality of "gayness" as described above.)

― Nitsuh, Thursday, 6 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Campy is usually my descriptor of choice in those situations; it describes the situation/emotion without making a direct link to sexual orientation. (I know so many campy straight people it isn't eve funny.)

― Dan Perry, Thursday, 6 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

What *are* you saying about straight people, Dan? *flounces off*

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 6 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Girl, don't go there! *neck action with upturned hand*

― Dan Perry, Thursday, 6 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

probably more of an American-teenager thing - man, the whole world talks like American teenagers now, don't you know that? It's proof of de-evolution. American teenagers are fuckin gay.

― duane, Thursday, 6 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You know, Dan, you've just established the most interesting continuum in American culture.

(a) Black women do something "sassy."

(b) Gay men start doing it.

(d) Middle-aged parents of white teenaged girls start doing it in attempts to be funny.

See: "don't go there," "talk to the hand," &c., &c., &c...

― Nitsuh, Thursday, 6 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

What about dorky white single guys who are thirty like me?

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 6 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

ned you are so so not dorky even if you live in irvine

― anthony, Thursday, 6 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

(e) Dorky white single guys who are thirty blog about it in attempts to be funny.

― Graham, Thursday, 6 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

To quote the magnificent Mr. Kortbein when I teased him one time too far: "YOU GET ME, bitch."

To Anthony -- aw, franks. I only work in Irvine, though -- but that's bad enough. ;-)

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 6 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

There goes a significant portion of the Anal Cunt songbook ... proving that they were right, the Internet is gay :-)

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Thursday, 6 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I used to know this guy who would use "homo" as some kind of generic insult (actually someone who's posted to this thread). He would use it in hetero-dominated environments but probably thought it was cool for some kind of "ironic reactionary" reasons or some such bullshit. So he was okay with that but one night he called my ex-boyfriend a homo, not realising he actually was. When i told him later he felt real guilty. I didn't get it - is homophobia only okay when you assume everyone around you is straight? I mean its not as if my ex didn't identify with the word anyway.

― hamish n, Thursday, 6 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Gay was a fairly common derogatory term at my school, and was a bit dodgy about it and never used it. But I think from the way it was used there was no link it at all with homosexuals/campness, it was just a general meaningless insult. I mean, we bare no malice to anyone who does farm cocks (That piece of ILEtin has fallen on hard times recently. Shed a tear).

― Graham, Thursday, 6 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I confess to using gay to mean "sucky". I 'm sorry. I try not to, but its just rollso ff the tongue like cum. I shall say botard instead

― Pennysong Hanle y, Thursday, 6 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The guy Hamish was talkin about - hey that was me! pretty dumm. I don't use that stuff any more tho.

― duane, Thursday, 6 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

(reason I felt bad about it - 'cause if you say stuff like that to gay people they could reasonably presume you mean that you hate them, obviously.)

― duane, Friday, 7 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Well, not so much "hate," with such issues, as "so self-centered that you aren't even considering the basic variety and humanity of the people around you." I suppose for many people it really is a matter of assuming everyone around is straight and that it's therefore okay to equate homosexuality with general badness, which is obviously dud, in a sort of thudding cloddish way. But in the cultural sense ... there are certain things that all of us, of whatever sexual orientation, will now and forever consider to be just fundamentally "gay," including pink headbands and showtunes and such. I really want a word for that stuff, and I think I already use "camp" to mean something else. Like, I could see something being "macho camp," if it were campy about being macho -- which doesn't really gel with using "camp" to = "gay."

― Nitsuh, Friday, 7 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Nitsuh i so heart your very long posts .

― anthony, Friday, 7 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I use slurs all the time. The object is to bully people and make them feel uncomfortable.

― dave q, Friday, 7 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

In the UK "gay" (and "gaylord") showed up in the mid-90s as a kind of nostalgic playground insult. Remembering what you used to call people back when you knew no better in the same way as you remembered what you used to watch on TV when you knew no better. I found it guiltily funny for a bit but then thought it was dodgy and stopped using it. A couple of years later South Park came along and the same thing happened on a national level. I still use gaylord occasionally if I'm drunk and always feel quite bad about it.

― Tom, Friday, 7 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

'Quentin' (as in Quentin Crisp, natch) was the 'gay' insult of choice when I was at school - prob. means nothing to the kids of today...

― Andrew L, Friday, 7 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Tom, didn't the term gaylord come from some costume drama or other that was on in the early 80's called the gay lord quex or something similar?

― cabbage, Friday, 7 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

In fairness I think gaylord would be an offence to anyone, regardless of sex. What I mean is, if you're saying someone calling something gay as an insult is wrong then you're suggesting the term gay is socially acceptable, the term gaylord clearly isn't socially acceptable therefore it's "ok!" to insult someone with it. If its ever ok to insult someone

― Ronan, Friday, 7 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

When you're 7 you don't worry where names come from, you just use use use them.

― Tom, Friday, 7 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

That's why you need to be lectured and disciplined

― Ronan, Friday, 7 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

As I am queer but not gay, I haf no problem using "gay" as a light silly insult: it means all the lame things about queerness which are not contained in the words "queer" (ie liking Barbra Streisand: come ON pppl!)
(Possibly bogus rationale: Gay = assimilationist and apologetic; queer = punXoR and unapologetic...)

How unacceptable is "lame", tho?

― mark s, Friday, 7 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Why do you think I make up new insult words?

― suzy, Friday, 7 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"can you offer up another term that means "very much like our most ridiculous stereotypes of flamingly effiminate gay males," but is shorter than saying all of that"

Pouf? I'm not v clear on what's been reclaimed/rejected/reassimilated lately (tho i DO know that "Gaylord" is SO last century), but "You big old pouf, why are you buying hand cream?" (for example) would cover it for me. Also "disco", as in "Don't keep calling people 'gay' when [insert name of gay friend] is around, he might get upset - didn't you know he's a bit Disco? "

― MJ Hibbett, Friday, 7 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

'Bummer' was far more popular at my school that 'gaylord'. There's a very good curry house in central Manchester called 'The Gaylord' - I'm sure it's been there since 'gaylord' first became hilarious in the late 70s.

― Michael Jones, Friday, 7 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I am officially ripping off someone else's word - "disco" is my new term of choice.

― Ally, Friday, 7 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

My little sister always says "don't be gay!" as in "don't be annoying", but I deliberately take it seriously and explain to her that my sexuality is not based on choice. She becomes very pissed off but is too guilty to say anything, ergo I win the argument.

― Tim, Friday, 7 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Manipulating siblings: classic. I used to goad my older brothers into pillow fights, then run crying to mom and dad the first time one of them hit me with a pillow.

― Dan Perry, Friday, 7 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You needed a younger sister, Dan. Then you could torment her without fear. Oh yeah, in case any of you motherfuckers want to drool over my own younger sister, her name's Kara, you can find a picture of her here with me and my parents and no, she wants nothing to do with you. ;-)

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 7 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ned, why are you pimping your sister?

― Nick, Friday, 7 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"Disco" is great. I prefer "gay" to "queer" ("queer" sounds so early 90's Act Up style, I live in San Francisco and don't know anyone who uses it), but that's just me.

― Sean, Friday, 7 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

More to the point, Ned, why are you pimping your sister using Cartman Economics?

― Dan Perry, Friday, 7 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Because I wanted to see who would care enough to post. Now I know I'm never introducing either of you two to her. ;-)

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 7 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Classic, mate! Your opinions = gay. Hell, over at Relapse UBB people even use a more widespread term for "gayness" / "cackality" / "etc." :

Manowar

As in "that film = manowar".

― Kodanshi, Friday, 7 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yeah, I hate the term queer, too. For exactly the same reasons Sean stated. Disco's excellent! In the "very much like the stereotyped notions of the behavior of homosexual men" sense, that is.

― Arthur, Friday, 7 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

six months pass...

So, Ned, you should have linked to the photo of your sister after that one, wherein she smolders even more.

― Nitsuh, Wednesday, 27 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

She'll be pleased to learn this, I'm sure.

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 27 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

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