Use other targets please

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The idea of this dreadfully hipsterish thread is to act like a list of tips for those who might wonder why other people keep making their excuses and leaving them at parties.

It is very, very tired and boring to make 'oh aren't they awful' cracks about the following people:

Mick Hucknall
Jeremy Beadle
Celine Dion
Whoever the latest 'manufactured' pop star is

Actually with the first three it's not quite boring, it's just bizarre because it's so old.

It is pretty tired and boring to do the same with:

Coldplay
George Bush (though there is some room for originality here)
Travis
The Stereophonics

Which other targets make you embarrassed for the critic?

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 3 April 2003 19:30 (twenty-one years ago) link

Jay Leno to thread!

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 3 April 2003 19:37 (twenty-one years ago) link

as both a target and an instigator, really.

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 3 April 2003 19:39 (twenty-one years ago) link

EXACTLY

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 3 April 2003 19:41 (twenty-one years ago) link

Boring targets:

People who drive SUVs
People with cell phones

Come on! So last year!

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Thursday, 3 April 2003 19:44 (twenty-one years ago) link

George Bush (though there is some room for originality here)

Space TO LET.

― Cozen (Cozen), Thursday, 3 April 2003 19:46 (twenty-one years ago) link

things stop being good targets when they cease to be annoying, which means many of the things expressed in this thread do not qualify

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 3 April 2003 19:49 (twenty-one years ago) link

Gareth Gates. Charlotte Church. Steven Wells. Slint.

(Tangential - praise other things please: The Simpsons.)

Things stop being good targets when targeting them starts to be annoying.

― Cozen (Cozen), Thursday, 3 April 2003 19:50 (twenty-one years ago) link

the guy who nearly ran me off the road today while on his cell phone and in his SUV says otherwise

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 3 April 2003 19:51 (twenty-one years ago) link

Jess, I couldn't disagree more.

See: Calum.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 3 April 2003 19:51 (twenty-one years ago) link

Charlotte Church will NEVER cease to be a good target.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 3 April 2003 19:52 (twenty-one years ago) link

the problem is not the targeting, it is the expression of ire

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 3 April 2003 19:52 (twenty-one years ago) link

Yeah, that's true actually.

― Cozen (Cozen), Thursday, 3 April 2003 19:52 (twenty-one years ago) link

(My last message was about Charlotte Church.)

― Cozen (Cozen), Thursday, 3 April 2003 19:53 (twenty-one years ago) link

most people are merely parroting the original jokes/jibes when mocking things/people/places/events, so when those original jokes get tired, everyone either stops using them or starts whining about how they're played.

that said, many of N.'s original choices are spot on

calum's are just bizarre

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 3 April 2003 19:54 (twenty-one years ago) link

b-b-b-but...but I don't like Coldplay or Travis! What am I supposed to do, just sit there listening to their shite music and grinning and holding my hate in? THAT HURTS!!!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 3 April 2003 19:56 (twenty-one years ago) link

CALUM'S?!?!

― Cozen (Cozen), Thursday, 3 April 2003 19:59 (twenty-one years ago) link

Just go kick a rock instead of going on about it all the time.

― RickyT (RickyT), Thursday, 3 April 2003 20:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

oh, calums!

― Cozen (Cozen), Thursday, 3 April 2003 20:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

No, no one expects you to like them. It's just boring to hear a constant torrent of 'Man - Travis are so tedious! I nearly fell asleep! They should be outlawed under the Geneva convention!' etc etc in an environment where most people probably agree that they're not very interesting.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 3 April 2003 20:01 (twenty-one years ago) link

N, you've just made Julio obsolete.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 3 April 2003 20:07 (twenty-one years ago) link

I'm not targetting anyone here. Except Calum maybe ha ha.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 3 April 2003 20:08 (twenty-one years ago) link

Calum qualifies for this thread, I think.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 3 April 2003 20:08 (twenty-one years ago) link

Wilco.

― hstencil, Thursday, 3 April 2003 20:12 (twenty-one years ago) link

I think it's fair game if the object of hate is brought up in conversation, but people who troll or expressly go out of their way to express ire/hatred at easy targets when their opinions on said targets are well-documented are about as tedious as they come.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 3 April 2003 20:35 (twenty-one years ago) link

It's just boring to hear a constant torrent of [snip]

well tell them to try harder then. what jess said.

― Dave M. (rotten03), Thursday, 3 April 2003 20:41 (twenty-one years ago) link

I'm not quite sure how I forgot the grandmother of them all - Ann Widdecombe.

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 4 April 2003 09:57 (twenty-one years ago) link

Duran Duran. Except I genuinely love them. Though I will admit their faults. We all know them. Now move along, please.

― kate, Friday, 4 April 2003 10:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

I haven't heard anyone knock Duran Duran in a *long* time.

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 4 April 2003 10:01 (twenty-one years ago) link

haha, nick saw someone on telly make a joke about how bad the stereophonics are and he said "that's a bit hip," and I thought he was being terribly sarcastic and said "yeahhhh," and he said "no, I mean...you don't hear people saying it on TV."

telly=unhip, as a rule.

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 4 April 2003 10:50 (twenty-one years ago) link

It was some crappy C5 TFI Friday show so yeah it was surprising. It's all about context, man. Telly is unhip, yeah.

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 4 April 2003 10:53 (twenty-one years ago) link

I beg to differ.

http://www.allposters.com/images/71/039_13679.jpg

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Friday, 4 April 2003 10:57 (twenty-one years ago) link

''I think it's fair game if the object of hate is brought up in conversation, but people who troll or expressly go out of their way to express ire/hatred at easy targets when their opinions on said targets are well-documented are about as tedious as they come.''

I want my fun mark! I WANT MY FUN!!!

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Friday, 4 April 2003 11:01 (twenty-one years ago) link

Use other targets:
Americans. :(

― Nick A. (Nick A.), Friday, 4 April 2003 11:12 (twenty-one years ago) link

MDF!

― Cozen (Cozen), Friday, 4 April 2003 11:21 (twenty-one years ago) link

(JtN - did you get my e-mail(s), I had to send it from my gf's account mine was being fussy!)

― Cozen (Cozen), Friday, 4 April 2003 11:22 (twenty-one years ago) link

when people want to protest against america, they really should find something new to throw rocks at besides McDonalds! how passe

― phil-two (phil-two), Friday, 4 April 2003 11:24 (twenty-one years ago) link

microsoft?

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 4 April 2003 11:25 (twenty-one years ago) link

bonfires of Windows2000 CDs could be fairly dramatic, I guess.

― phil-two (phil-two), Friday, 4 April 2003 11:28 (twenty-one years ago) link

CD burning is the first step on the road to barbarism.

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 4 April 2003 11:30 (twenty-one years ago) link

And the second...?

― Cozen (Cozen), Friday, 4 April 2003 11:31 (twenty-one years ago) link

rewriting.

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 4 April 2003 11:33 (twenty-one years ago) link

Hitler, everyone hassles him... also poor Moby.

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Friday, 4 April 2003 11:35 (twenty-one years ago) link

This may even be a passe "use other" target by now, but Starbucks to thread! Fine, it's lame and bourgie and expensive and the menu's all in a funny language that Americans find "pretentious" (they're just bitter that they can't pronounce "macchiato" -- that's "mah - key - AH - toe"). Fine, it's not an "authentic" 1960 Bleecker St. coffeehouse with a young Phil Ochs strumming away by the window. If you don't like it, I'm sure there's a humble working-class diner down the street where you can spend a dollar and get a bottomless cup of really good strong humble working-class diner coffee. Go there. Just shut up about Starbucks already.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 4 April 2003 11:36 (twenty-one years ago) link

Moby is a good call.

I assume you are joking about Hitler but just to be clear, this thread is not about hated people - just overused targets for 'aren't they crap?' jokes.

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 4 April 2003 11:37 (twenty-one years ago) link

(Nick, what about MDF?)

― Cozen (Cozen), Friday, 4 April 2003 11:39 (twenty-one years ago) link

they're just bitter that they can't pronounce "macchiato" -- that's "mah - key - AH - toe"

oh shit, then how do you pronounce Ralph Macchio?

― phil-two (phil-two), Friday, 4 April 2003 11:40 (twenty-one years ago) link

Jody I agree that Starbucks is too often a shorthand for boring anti-multinationalism/commercialisation/homogenisation cracks BUT if you actually are against those things then I don't think there's any reason to lay off them in more serious terms. As JtN said, hipsterism is not a good model for politics. Though politicians could do with being a bit hipper.

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 4 April 2003 11:40 (twenty-one years ago) link

MDF yes. What?

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 4 April 2003 11:41 (twenty-one years ago) link

MDF?

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 4 April 2003 11:42 (twenty-one years ago) link

oh shit, then how do you pronounce Ralph Macchio?

Doesn't he pronounce it "match - ee - oh"?

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 4 April 2003 11:43 (twenty-one years ago) link

That's right. How sad that I know this.

― Nicole (Nicole), Friday, 4 April 2003 11:43 (twenty-one years ago) link

I am against those things. But aren't there better ways of protesting than making snide one-liners?

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 4 April 2003 11:45 (twenty-one years ago) link

But aren't there better ways of protesting than making snide one-liners?

Haha yes I do realize I'm saying this on ILX.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 4 April 2003 11:45 (twenty-one years ago) link

Oh I completely agree. I was just trying to clarify as I don't want this thread to turn into an 'unfairly dissed' one.

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 4 April 2003 11:49 (twenty-one years ago) link

Pah, you all hate fun. Inventing new ways to be nasty about Celine Dion and Steven Wells will NEVER pall. NEVER.

― Archel (Archel), Friday, 4 April 2003 11:56 (twenty-one years ago) link

isobel campbell?

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 4 April 2003 11:57 (twenty-one years ago) link

Arkle has nicked N.'s internet hardman persona!

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Friday, 4 April 2003 12:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

She's playing HARDBALL!

http://www1.umn.edu/urelate/newsservice/images/hardball.jpg

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 4 April 2003 12:03 (twenty-one years ago) link

one month passes...

Handy reference list here:

http://www.channel4.com/entertainment/tv/microsites/G/greatest/britons/vote.html

― N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 10 May 2003 23:06 (twenty-one years ago) link

Woo! Go JBR! Right on! Lay off the Starbucks, people.

― Michael Stuchbery (Mikey Bidness), Saturday, 10 May 2003 23:25 (twenty-one years ago) link

You're just saying that because you've given in to the dark side. And you're from Melbourne and should know better! ;-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 10 May 2003 23:26 (twenty-one years ago) link

Yeah and don't go there for coffee, either

― Millar (Millar), Saturday, 10 May 2003 23:27 (twenty-one years ago) link

Yeah, I watched that programme (linked to above). It was the lamest excuse for a TV show ever. It was like someone had read this thread and decided to piss N. off by picking the easiest targets ever.

Me and the husband spent the whole programme going "but what's so bad about {person X}", and making up reasons why they were actually the Greatest Britons ever. We failed at justifying Julie Burchill though.

― ailsa (ailsa), Sunday, 11 May 2003 10:09 (twenty-one years ago) link

the worst thing was they had Garry fuckin Bushell as one of the pundits commenting on the choices...if he's not worthy of the list himself then no-one else is

― stevem (blueski), Sunday, 11 May 2003 10:16 (twenty-one years ago) link

That's a great picture of Telly Savalas upthread.

― dave k, Sunday, 11 May 2003 10:25 (twenty-one years ago) link

Yeah what Ned said, Mikey! Honestly ;) Every self-respecting Melburnian should be a Starbux hata, but its ok for now, they havent been here as long as in the US. And people here dont think italian coffee names are a wank anyway, we've had macciatos and ristrettos and whatnot in regular coffeehouses for years...

Agreed on Coldplay and Moby though. And Radiohead bashing is boring too.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 12 May 2003 05:03 (twenty-one years ago) link

one month passes...

Look! - it's a website for people to be boring on.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 23 June 2003 16:58 (twenty-one years ago) link

one month passes...

Jay Kay
Tom Cox

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 28 July 2003 16:07 (twenty-one years ago) link

six months pass...

Anne Robinson

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 30 January 2004 09:34 (twenty years ago) link

four months pass...

jamie oliver

― pete b. (pete b.), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 13:14 (twenty years ago) link

Paul Daniels.

― MarkH (MarkH), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 13:34 (twenty years ago) link

Alexis Petridis.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 13:37 (twenty years ago) link

capitalism

― de, Tuesday, 15 June 2004 13:40 (twenty years ago) link

Anti-capitalism

― Enrique (Enrique), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 13:41 (twenty years ago) link

weapons of mass destruction,
use other targets please

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 13:45 (twenty years ago) link

Bosko Balaban

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 13:56 (twenty years ago) link

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