Fastlane: The Best Thing On US TV

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Oh my god, this is the greatest achievement of television ever in history. I just watched Fastlane, which I never saw before. Salient points of the episode:

Naomi Cambpell as a porn queen
Tiffani Thiessen manning a helicopter
Bill Bellamy!
Tommy Lee getting shot to shit in slow motion by Tiffani and Bill
Dirt bikes!
Episode ended with Jay Mohr inexplicably quoting Stryper

It's like my mind threw up on Fox. It's directed by McG! It's probably been on tv for like ten years and I'm only just noticing.

― Ally (mlescaut), Saturday, 5 April 2003 00:27 (twenty-two years ago)

it's true. it's the only thing on tv worth watching.

i didn't see it tonight and the last one with the mexicans wasn't great. but it's solid. they have a very easy job. there are expensive cars,, meaningless violence,, the plot doesn't always figure too prominently,, women who are beautiful,, guns,, people getting shot,, car chases,, slowmotion,, fastmotion,, the music is all great too. the two guys have great chemistry. it's like someone painting a fence in fastmotion with people driving by shooting at them,, for a whole hour.

super.

― d k (d k), Saturday, 5 April 2003 00:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Plus: Tiffani Thiessen in various states of undress.

― Ally (mlescaut), Saturday, 5 April 2003 01:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Ah well, now you're talking. (I am lying.)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 5 April 2003 01:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh why don't you go put on CNN or something, you silly man!

― Ally (mlescaut), Saturday, 5 April 2003 01:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I have no TV access, therefore I can watch nothing. Whee!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 5 April 2003 01:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I think CNN's coverage of the war would be better if it was done Fastlane style.

― Ally (mlescaut), Saturday, 5 April 2003 01:49 (twenty-two years ago)

didn't they play the lez up card in like ep 3?

― g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Saturday, 5 April 2003 03:08 (twenty-two years ago)

poor man's VIP

― James Blount (James Blount), Saturday, 5 April 2003 03:18 (twenty-two years ago)

I didn't understand the scene where the two police officers were forced to audition for that porn director. (That was the only scene I saw)

― A Nairn (moretap), Saturday, 5 April 2003 03:25 (twenty-two years ago)

VIP looks like it was shot on one of those fisher price vid cams that has to plug directly into the vcr

― jess (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 5 April 2003 03:39 (twenty-two years ago)

they're called 'steadicams' jess

― James Blount (James Blount), Saturday, 5 April 2003 03:41 (twenty-two years ago)

i wish i had that comeback when i was paying 20k a year to "learn" this stuff

― jess (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 5 April 2003 03:42 (twenty-two years ago)

the one police officer was posing as a porn guy and he needed a fake porn girl to use in his police-scheme. so he got his boss to help him. she's a beautiful woman. then the girl had to audition and he had to have sex with her.

just so you know.

― d k (d k), Saturday, 5 April 2003 03:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, and Naomi Campbell was like some kind of porn dictator, what was that about?

― Ally (mlescaut), Saturday, 5 April 2003 16:58 (twenty-two years ago)

josh and i were talking about fastlane today and i realized why i like it is that they're trying to replace "camp" (cf. VIP) with "cool" thereby making it harder for our generation to digest, which i am all for, obviously.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 5 April 2003 17:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Robert Forster was in an episode. I couldn't watch it. This show is just too painful.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 5 April 2003 17:02 (twenty-two years ago)

my theory is proving true already

― jess (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 5 April 2003 17:04 (twenty-two years ago)

plus Bill Bellamy didn't appear to be bugging his eyes out a lot or saying "DAMN!" much or noting how "crazy" his white co-stars were. Oh, I'm not racist and I don't think ALL black people should be doing that on TV. just Bill Bellamy.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 5 April 2003 17:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Listen, that's just ridiculous.

Jess yr theory is sound - it's not really camp at all ergo it's inexplicable. "Wait, could they actually mean this is a non-ironic way? oh no! OH NO!"

― Ally (mlescaut), Saturday, 5 April 2003 17:22 (twenty-two years ago)

So Naomi Campbell really is a porn dictator? Okay then.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 5 April 2003 18:13 (twenty-two years ago)

six months pass...

Evil FOX canceled it! Arhg!

― manda, Tuesday, 28 October 2003 21:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I know, that was some kind of bullshit if you ask me. Yet they leave on Grounded for Life, what is that?

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 28 October 2003 21:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Donal Logue be suckin' some dicks.

― NA (Nick A.), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 21:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I missed that episode!

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 21:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Does every thread on ILX have to come to fellatio lately?

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 28 October 2003 21:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Sorry, next time I'll try and come sooner.

― NA (Nick A.), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 21:34 (twenty-one years ago)

OK now you're taking things way too far. Can we like at least change from fellatio to like tit fucking or reverse cowgirl or something?

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 28 October 2003 21:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Donal Logue be fuckin' some titties.

― NA (Nick A.), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 21:39 (twenty-one years ago)

That's so much better, thank you.

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 28 October 2003 21:40 (twenty-one years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.