if you were my keys where would you be?

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DEAR GOD I JUST WAnT TO LEAVE THE HOUSE!!!!!!!!!$$%%^$&&W^#^%#&^%*%^(^*&(#@#~!~~~!!!!!

― jess (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 5 April 2003 19:17 (twenty-two years ago)

On the table by the door!

― jess's keys (nabisco), Saturday, 5 April 2003 19:20 (twenty-two years ago)

me too.

― michael wells (michael w.), Saturday, 5 April 2003 19:20 (twenty-two years ago)

but maybe in yr arse pocket.

― michael wells (michael w.), Saturday, 5 April 2003 19:21 (twenty-two years ago)

i have looked everywhere they could possibly be and now the only thing left to do is put the house in order oh no!!

― jess (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 5 April 2003 19:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Haha forget about going out and post shit here instead!!1

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Saturday, 5 April 2003 19:23 (twenty-two years ago)

On the 'please delete neu-neu ilm' thread with everything else?

― Cozen (Cozen), Saturday, 5 April 2003 19:23 (twenty-two years ago)

jess, if you really want to find your keys more than anything else, you will burn the house down.

― Rockist Scientist, Saturday, 5 April 2003 19:23 (twenty-two years ago)

i think the other people in the building might get mad at me

― jess (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 5 April 2003 19:24 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm like howard the duck

― jess (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 5 April 2003 19:26 (twenty-two years ago)

in the door?

― jel -- (jel), Saturday, 5 April 2003 19:35 (twenty-two years ago)

In the butt, Bob. Oh wait.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 5 April 2003 19:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe you will become a Sufi saint because of this incident.

― Rockist Scientist, Saturday, 5 April 2003 19:39 (twenty-two years ago)

or maybe you'll find yr keys.

― michael wells (michael w.), Saturday, 5 April 2003 19:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe you will become a Sufi saint because of this incident.

Jess is my sherpa guide!

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 5 April 2003 19:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Your keys are in your keister!

― Chris P (Chris P), Saturday, 5 April 2003 19:59 (twenty-two years ago)

i. pocket of coat you forgot you were wearing
ii. under pillow
iii. in front door (on outside)
iv. hung on a hook you normally hang something else on (the something else you put in the fridge by mistake) (bcz you out the milk in the oven)
v. in trash
vi. under stuff
vii. invisible as you post bcz behind something but perfectly evident from anywhere but computer chair
viii. down back of sofa (davenport if in canada)
ix. down back of bookcase
x. in cistern (you put the kilo of heroin in the fridge by mistake)
xi. on top of tv as usual

― mark s (mark s), Saturday, 5 April 2003 19:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Whenever I lose my keys I find them in the other part of my purse but I suppose that doesn't help you.

― teeny (teeny), Saturday, 5 April 2003 20:00 (twenty-two years ago)

''On the 'please delete neu-neu ilm' thread with everything else?''

listen to cozen jess ;-)

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Saturday, 5 April 2003 20:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I live in Canada. What the hell is a davenport?
And Jess, good luck with the whole key-finding thing.
Happens to me all the time. Usually find them on top of the microwave or underneath a magazine.

― Bruce Urquhart (Bruce Urquhart), Saturday, 5 April 2003 20:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Mark S means settee, obv.

― MarkH (MarkH), Saturday, 5 April 2003 20:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Your neck? Your back? Your pussy and your crack?

― donut bitch (donut), Saturday, 5 April 2003 20:05 (twenty-two years ago)

I usually find mine on my bedside table, but I've just checked and yours aren't there, so I can't help.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 5 April 2003 20:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Whenever I lose my keys I find them in the other part of my purse but I suppose that doesn't help you.

(Ahem. he lives in Olympia. they're called "messenger bags")

― donut bitch (donut), Saturday, 5 April 2003 20:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I am terrible for mislaying keys. Jess, seriously, retrace steps from the last time you used them to open your front door. Usually mine are right next to the phone if there was an ansaphone message, or in an obscure part of shelf near where I flop down, or on dining room table obscured by uninteresting press releases.

― suzy (suzy), Saturday, 5 April 2003 20:09 (twenty-two years ago)

as i am now posting from the evergreen computer lab (yes, my Big Day Out), i have found them. nitsuh-as-keys was right all long. they were on the end table (okay the box the tv came in with a piece of fabric draped over it...chabby chic eat my fuc) except INSIDE A BOX OF CHOCOLATES. wtf?

― jess (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 5 April 2003 21:36 (twenty-two years ago)

mm, chocolate.

― teeny (teeny), Saturday, 5 April 2003 21:42 (twenty-two years ago)

teeny gets inside the mind of a set of keys.

― RJG (RJG), Saturday, 5 April 2003 21:44 (twenty-two years ago)

i hope my pocket is comfortable because that's where you're staying you incorrigible little bastards!!

― jess (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 5 April 2003 21:49 (twenty-two years ago)

mm, jess's pocket.

― teeny (teeny), Saturday, 5 April 2003 21:50 (twenty-two years ago)

mm, linty.

― j.lu (j.lu), Saturday, 5 April 2003 21:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Minty linty.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 5 April 2003 21:58 (twenty-two years ago)

the fear is easy in america.

― michael wells (michael w.), Saturday, 5 April 2003 21:59 (twenty-two years ago)

free and easy.

― RJG (RJG), Saturday, 5 April 2003 22:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I wear my key round my neck on a bootlace.

― jel -- (jel), Sunday, 6 April 2003 07:36 (twenty-two years ago)

You guys are awesome.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Sunday, 6 April 2003 08:14 (twenty-two years ago)

one year passes...

if you were my mobile where would you be?

― cozen (Cozen), Saturday, 19 June 2004 20:38 (twenty-one years ago)

In a pint of beer.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Saturday, 19 June 2004 20:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I have a bottle of rioja, on inspection, it's not in there.

― cozen (Cozen), Saturday, 19 June 2004 20:51 (twenty-one years ago)

They can be very small, these days, phones.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Saturday, 19 June 2004 21:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, might you have accidentally swallowed it?

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 19 June 2004 22:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I find a change of routine accounts for me mislaying keys, phone, etc. If you can think back to that variance, you might find the answer.

Or you could dial it up and see what happens.

― jim wentworth (wench), Sunday, 20 June 2004 02:02 (twenty-one years ago)

I definitely haven't swallowed it, no way.

where is it?

― cozen (Cozen), Sunday, 20 June 2004 08:00 (twenty-one years ago)

wherever it is, it is switched off.

― RJG (RJG), Sunday, 20 June 2004 08:01 (twenty-one years ago)

that's annoying.

― cozen (Cozen), Sunday, 20 June 2004 08:04 (twenty-one years ago)

a friend of mine dropped her mobi into the loo at the pub last week. it fell out of her back pocket as she was undoing her jeans. it doesn't work anymore so i hope yours isn't in the loo.

― gem (trisk), Sunday, 20 June 2004 08:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Check under the front seat of your car. If it's not there, look by the sink. I always seem to find mine by the kitchen sink.

― Gear! (Gear!), Sunday, 20 June 2004 08:21 (twenty-one years ago)

four months pass...

Arghhhhhh! My apartment is teensy. My room even more so. Where the fuck are they??????

― mouse (mouse), Sunday, 24 October 2004 22:21 (twenty years ago)

on top of your head

― Matt (Matt), Sunday, 24 October 2004 22:50 (twenty years ago)

nn your mind

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Sunday, 24 October 2004 23:01 (twenty years ago)

(on, "obv")

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Sunday, 24 October 2004 23:04 (twenty years ago)

mine quite often sneak into the bottom of shopping bags that i put in the cupboard to use as rubbish bags

― gem (trisk), Sunday, 24 October 2004 23:09 (twenty years ago)

Sadly, not on my head. I fear they may be gone for good as I haven't seen them since thursday and have trekked across the country and back since then.

― mouse (mouse), Sunday, 24 October 2004 23:23 (twenty years ago)

World Series baseball, ladies and gentlemen. Great stuff.

Channel Five bozos in Britain wearing tuxedos in the studio to make up for not being at the game.

― You've Got to Pick Up Every Stitch (tracerhand), Sunday, 24 October 2004 23:25 (twenty years ago)

(First sentence applies to the top of the first, which was about as taut a half inning as anyone could want.)

― You've Got to Pick Up Every Stitch (tracerhand), Sunday, 24 October 2004 23:27 (twenty years ago)

Haha erk

― You've Got to Pick Up Every Stitch (tracerhand), Sunday, 24 October 2004 23:27 (twenty years ago)

You've Got -- that's some pretty oblique strategy for lost-keys search.

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Sunday, 24 October 2004 23:30 (twenty years ago)

I left em on the other channel

― You've Got to Pick Up Every Stitch (tracerhand), Sunday, 24 October 2004 23:50 (twenty years ago)

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