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This is a long story but I'll try to keep it bearable in length - my boyfs ex wife has gone all mental coz we "had the bloody cheek" to go on holiday for a week (it was a free holiday I might add)and she wont let him see his children (again) so it's off to court we go (whoopee). She's blaming me now and saying they don't wanna see him coz of me. I have to go and give a statement tonight and basically I'm s**ing myself - the last thing I wanna do is make things worse, the poor kids have been through enough but the woman really has lost it this time. How do I play this?

― smee (smee), Monday, 7 April 2003 11:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Wow. I wish I could tell you, but this isn't really in my experience. I guess you'd like to think this is one of those instances where, if you do right by others and don't just think of yourself, you win out in the end. I hope it proves so for you.

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Monday, 7 April 2003 11:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Christ Smee that's awful. Um, not really much relvant experience but one ting I do know about messy previous marriages is that the one making unreasonable demands generally comes a cropper. Just be as calm as possible and you'll be fine. Good luck.

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 7 April 2003 11:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Thanks
I have residual anger though, I've been being really nice to her for nearly 2 years now and all I get back is evil abuse. I'm worried if I start to list all the nasty stunts she's pulled I'll come off sounding as bitter and twisted as her!

― smee (smee), Monday, 7 April 2003 11:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Good luck, smee. Don't worry too much about being nice to the ex. You just have to be civil.

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Monday, 7 April 2003 12:03 (twenty-two years ago)

If you can stay calm and sound reasonable I'm sure you'll be okay. Good luck!

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 7 April 2003 20:35 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm sorry smee. best of luck, and what martin said.

― di smith (lucylurex), Monday, 7 April 2003 21:14 (twenty-two years ago)

wait: you went on holiday and she got pissed off...why? did he miss some time with the kids?

― gaz (gaz), Monday, 7 April 2003 21:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Smee, I wish you luck, but as the others said, all you can do is remain calm. The ex's actions will only appear mad when/if she tries to explain why in court.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Monday, 7 April 2003 23:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Thanks everyone, it's a horrible situation and I hope it's over soon. I gave my statement and I just stuck to the facts and incidents I've witnessed - she's gonna go apeshit when she sees it, I really wish it hadn't come to this.

Gaz - It’s a long story but : he's unemployed at the moment so he's paying very little maintenance for the children, she's basically holding him to ransom. There is money left over from the sale of their house, which she's been offered (to help her out until he gets a job) but she's a bit mental and wont agree to have it released - to herself! When he asked for a slight change in access (ie: can I maybe see them this week twice coz I’ll not see them next week) she went nuts and he hasn’t seen them or talked to them since.

PS. She went on 3 holidays with them last year, without prior notice.

― smee (smee), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 09:22 (twenty-two years ago)

good luck in sorting out this 'situation'.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 09:29 (twenty-two years ago)

o! good luck mate. she sounds very reasonable. its scary and awful but keep in mind you've done nothing wrong! i hope the kids are ok.

― gaz (gaz), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 09:39 (twenty-two years ago)

stay frosty, yo.

― g-kit (g-kit), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 13:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not quite sure what that means Oh Great Kit but cheers anyway, I'm honoured, yo.

― smee (smee), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 13:40 (twenty-two years ago)

How'd it go?

― Matt (Matt), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 23:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I've given my statement to the lawyer, she's drafting it and then I get it back to sign. We're waiting on a date for an interim hearing type thingy.
I tried to just stick to talking about the children and how all this madness is effecting them, how they obviously love their dad and have never shown any signs of distress or even been unease being around him(quite the opposite in fact, they've got him wrapped around their little fingers!). I also stressed how aware I am of how much they've been through and that the last thing I'd ever do is make things worse. Hopefully that should be enough. It's such a shame that this has to happen, it's upsetting for everyone involved.

― smee (smee), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 08:15 (twenty-two years ago)

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