i ate the foulest cobbled-together dinner in recent memory tonight

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a tortilla with onions and this nasty "pepper jack" cheese that i got at the grocery outlet...cooked the shit in the microwave too long and it actually got all brown and crispy...what kinda space age foodstuff actually gets CRISPY in the microwave?...and two sticks of "teriyaki turkey jerky", which i normally like but the combo made me a bit sick.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 01:31 (twenty-two years ago)

there is one "meal" i ate in college - something like toast, string cheese, cold pasta sauce and way too old pepperoni - which actually makes me nauseous when i think about it

― jess (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 01:31 (twenty-two years ago)

so, um, share your gross meal stories here

― jess (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 01:33 (twenty-two years ago)

A couple of weeks ago, coming home from the bar, I got some of the same teriyaki turkey jerky, a string cheese, and it felt wonderful. And then I wanted to cry.

― slutsky (slutsky), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 01:35 (twenty-two years ago)

That whole night I was really hungry, and someone tipped me off about the tt-jerky (previously unknown to me) and it was all I could think about.

― slutsky (slutsky), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 01:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Freeze-dried ground beef + freeze-dried cheese (or maybe it was dehydrated; actually, I don't remember what was dehydrated and what was freeze-dried, so I'll write "Freeze-dried" for all of it) + tomato sauce reconstituted from water, on way overcooked elbow pasta = my father's attempt at "something other than scrambled eggs, hamburgers, and all the tuna casseroles the neighbors sent" when he took over cooking duties while my mother's broken leg was healing.

(We had huge barrels of freeze-dried foodstuffs laying around in the bomb shelter, which is a story unrelated to meals.)

The cheese, even though it was cooked in the sauce with the meat, did not melt. It just sort of ... warmed.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 01:38 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah, sometimes the weirdest shit seems like a good idea when you're piss drunk...like a whole tin of nacho cheese sauce

― jess (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 01:39 (twenty-two years ago)

This is the truth about poutine.

― slutsky (slutsky), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 01:42 (twenty-two years ago)

chez harvell!

― Tad (llamasfur), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 01:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Sometimes when I'm starving and strapped for cash I'll buy the store-brand frozen microwavable sheet pizza. It never thaws properly, no matter how long I nuke it for. And yet it's great comfort food and hits the spot perfectly.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 02:00 (twenty-two years ago)

$1.99 for 9 slices!

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 02:00 (twenty-two years ago)

this thread is totally disgusting

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 02:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Let me agree.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 02:39 (twenty-two years ago)

once when drunk i mixed up a coupla eggs, a handful or two of grated cheese and baked beans in a pan and fried away. it was tasty when drunk. i once tried it sober and was very close to being violently ill.

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 02:44 (twenty-two years ago)

God, I'm hungry. To the bagel bakery I go, I suppose.

― slutsky (slutsky), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 02:47 (twenty-two years ago)

When I was in university, a combination of poverty and hunger resulted in me mixing everything I had left in one big bowl — two eggs, minute rice and a can of baked beans.
It was fucking awful, but I needed the fuel.
Of course, I always seemed to have plenty of money to go out drinking.

― Bruce Urquhart (Bruce Urquhart), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 02:55 (twenty-two years ago)

The other day I cooked 2 minute noodles and then cobbled together a weird mock-satay sauce out of some (rather stale old) sweet chili sauce, a heaping glob of peanut butter, some soy sauce, and some sesame oil. No veggies or anything - just noodles and sauce and peanut butter.

It was actually ok, but so fucking salty I thought my tounge was going to walk out of my mouth in protest.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 02:55 (twenty-two years ago)

When I was moving out of a college apartment the only food I had left was vegan bologna, tortilla skins and mustard. And yes I ate them all together rolled up. Not desirable.

― Carey (Carey), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 02:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Why is this thread making me hungry?

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 02:57 (twenty-two years ago)

i am most pleased by this thread.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 03:08 (twenty-two years ago)

jess doesn't all cheese get crispy if you nuke it too long?

i never cobble meals, just eat componants serially if i am pressed for time / resources. faves are microwave fried chicken and corned beef hash. but soup is actually both easy and good.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 03:16 (twenty-two years ago)

i dunno does it? this turned a particularly odd shade of dark brown and pockmarked. i dont think it was of this earth.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 03:17 (twenty-two years ago)

on a bus in cambodia, we had a lunchstop in some small town. these old ladies came by with big trays of fried spiders. i mean HUGE spiders. the german guy thought it would be fun, bought one, and took a huge bite out of the middle. all the cambodians laughed because i guess you're supposed to pull off the legs and suck out the yummy spider meat... but instead the german got a mouthful of spider guts, spider eggs, and spider shit. yuck.

instead, i had fried rice with vegetables.

― phil-two (phil-two), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 05:26 (twenty-two years ago)

trying to do something interesting with the sack of rice I'd gotten in chinatown while in sf & having no money for food - I boiled the rice, red cabbage, "soy sauce" (thick, viscous, & tasteless - it may well have been motor oil) & crunchy peanut butter ("it'll be just like peanut sauce!") together into pinkish-brown glop.
ate the lot.
my entire digestive system collapsed for a few days.

― Ess Kay (esskay), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 05:35 (twenty-two years ago)

that doesn't sound so bad though.

― phil-two (phil-two), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 05:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Recently hamish dipped his finger into what he thought was a bowl of chocolate icing and in his mouth it didn't taste like chocolate because it was his flatmate's hair dye. But, more related to the thread, I remember abt 5 years ago I tried to fry old bits of eggplant in old flat beer and eat it (I had run out of money and, crucially, had watched Withnail & I the night before - did they actually cook in their old beer on that movie or was it just a more general idea of squalor I picked up on?)

― elizabeth anne marjorie, Tuesday, 8 April 2003 06:14 (twenty-two years ago)

I often have to make salsa tacos whenever I'm strapped for fridge goods and time. They're not that bad, but make me a little sad.

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 06:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't make me start posting various recipes for Thing.

I lived on the baked beans/eggs/cheese thing for several months last summer. Except I used to add fried onions and soy sauce for flavour.

― kate, Tuesday, 8 April 2003 07:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Philadelphia cream cheese, in the silver wrapping rather than one of those tubs about the same size, and one of those packages of eight slices of corned beef. Cut cream cheese into eight chunks, wrap each in slice of beef, consume with Jolt.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 10:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I shudder.

― slutsky (slutsky), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 11:54 (twenty-two years ago)

peanut butter on a playing card

― minna (minna), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 12:02 (twenty-two years ago)

40z and a pigeon burger

― kephm, Thursday, 10 April 2003 01:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh right I remember when I had surgery and was on a liquid diet. Bread, tomato sauce, water, cold cuts, blender. Also rice, soy, veggies, blender. Also, butter, milk, pasta, blender.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Thursday, 10 April 2003 06:04 (twenty-two years ago)

i hope the pasta was cooked first

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Thursday, 10 April 2003 06:04 (twenty-two years ago)

(I had run out of money and, crucially, had watched Withnail & I the night before - did they actually cook in their old beer on that movie or was it just a more general idea of squalor I picked up on?)

I suspect you're thinking of the scene in the caff at the start of the movie where they show two eggs swimming in oil in a frypan. Then later he drank coffee out of a soup bowl. And they baked a chicken sitting on its own legs in the oven on a brick.

Jim, you must be asleep, I thought you'd have waded in here :)

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 10 April 2003 06:18 (twenty-two years ago)

styrofoam w/ peanut butter

― geeta (geeta), Thursday, 10 April 2003 11:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I got all asian-ghetto tonight with chewy soy pork bits (1 pound for 3$ in chinatown) -- i think it was mainly intestines but I actually have no idea. I bought it for use in a rice porridge or soup etc. but got lazy and ate some straight up.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 04:50 (twenty-two years ago)

two weeks pass...

porridge with milk is very nice
porridge with water is a bit gluey but nice
coffee is nice
reheated coffee is ok

porridge made with reheated milked coffee instead of water is not in fact eatable

― mark s (mark s), Sunday, 4 May 2003 10:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Am I the only one that thinks of cobbler every time I read this thread?
Mmm... Peach cobbler...
http://www.epicurus.com/images/food/peachcobbler.jpg

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Monday, 5 May 2003 15:30 (twenty-two years ago)

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