The awkward teenage dating story thread

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I know there must be some gold in this particular furrow, if I can deliberately mix metaphors.

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 15:05 (twenty-one years ago) link

I used to pants all my dates.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 15:07 (twenty-one years ago) link

me at thirteen - 'hey, wanna watch Faces of Death?'

― James Blount (James Blount), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 15:07 (twenty-one years ago) link

i never "dated" as a teenager, so my mother thought i was a bit "off". instead, i had a torrid, drug-driven "intense friendship" with a girl two grades ahead of me who i never, ever got over. she died a few years back.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 15:09 (twenty-one years ago) link

I still don't think I have ever 'dated'.

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 15:11 (twenty-one years ago) link

So, there was this girl. Let's call her Theo, because that was her name. She made me a Bjork tape, and then she asked me to go and see Bjork with her. All my friends said it was supposed to be a date, but I said no no, she just wants some company and she wants to see Bjork. But they said no, it's a date. But I didn't listen.

So, I went and we drunk two bottles of Merrydown (we were about fifteen, I think-drink of choice!), and she cut her hand on the foil on one of the bottles and bled all over my ticket. And it was weird, so I just got drunk. REALLY drunk. We went in, and it was this nice old London theatre, seats and everything. I drank more drinks and got her a plaster from behind the bar. I saw that she had on these kind of rainbow tights and I said they are great. She looked at me funny. I felt sick, and drank more drinks.

Then Bjork came on. I remember her scampering back and forth across the stage like a field mouse. I remember vaguely swaying and trying to dance. That was it. Next thing I knew she was supporting one of my arms while we tried to walk to the station. We then went our separate ways. I read in next week's NME that Bjork had played FIVE new songs, but I didn't remember a thing.

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 15:12 (twenty-one years ago) link

oh, but when i first "made out" with my first college girlfriend i ejaculated on my sweatshirt and didn't wash it for two weeks i was so happy with the results

― jess (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 15:14 (twenty-one years ago) link

I'd love to have seen the look on your face.

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 15:15 (twenty-one years ago) link

haha that's mad creepy

― jess (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 15:15 (twenty-one years ago) link

jess lewinsky

― James Blount (James Blount), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 15:15 (twenty-one years ago) link

I meant the "happy" look, btw, not the look at the moment of orgasm...

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 15:19 (twenty-one years ago) link

I think I saw that look at the end of 'Happiness'.

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 15:37 (twenty-one years ago) link

I didn't "date" in high school either, so I got to have all the awkwardness come to a head when I was 18. oh joy of joys.

― M Matos (M Matos), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 15:40 (twenty-one years ago) link

This thread is mad redundant. Knocking teeth.

― Amateurist (amateurist), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 15:41 (twenty-one years ago) link

My friend used to do that in high school, we called him cream cheese and bagels.

Once I was out parking with Cream Cheese and Bagels and his girlfriend and me and my girlfriend. It wasn't my idea, it was cream cheese's. Anyways, my gf and I are in the backseat just laying there doing nothing. Cream cheese was getting a blowjob in the front seat, all you could see was his head tilted back. After about 5 minutes we heard him yell "Bingo". The window rolled down and a tissue got thrown out.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 15:43 (twenty-one years ago) link

Dating always seemed weird to me, I don't really have many stories to tell.

I think the only one I have is where my friend tried to set me up with a friend of her boyfriend's who she thought was "perfect for me", only to have him brag about being into Great White years before anyone else and have him yell out the window of the car at people. A very long evening.

― Nicole (Nicole), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 15:44 (twenty-one years ago) link

Weird. I don't think I've ever been an accessory to a blowjob.

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 15:44 (twenty-one years ago) link

When I was 14 or 15, I called the girl I liked every night for probably 6 months to listen to her come up with creative excuses to get off of the phone.

Once she actually told me she had to wash her hair.

Another one I remember: She had to eat ice cream with her younger sister.

Amazingly, I don't remember her ever not taking my call. In my still naively romantic heart I believe she at least liked the challenge of coming up with a way to hang up.

― martin (mushrush), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 15:45 (twenty-one years ago) link

I suppose "bingo" was his way of trying to conceal his orgasm. I laugh about it to this day.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 15:48 (twenty-one years ago) link

Like we didn't know what was going on in the front seat.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 15:48 (twenty-one years ago) link

"Bingo" vs. "Sweets for my sweet"

― Amateurist (amateurist), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 15:49 (twenty-one years ago) link

This deserves a thread of its own.

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 15:50 (twenty-one years ago) link

bingo

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 15:52 (twenty-one years ago) link

like I said above he yelled it...violently. "bbbbbbbbbbiiiiiinnnnnngggggoooooo."

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 15:53 (twenty-one years ago) link

This thread is giving me acne. I didn't date in high school either, as I was always the "friend" and still am in a lot of ways. Shyness goes a long way. I will admit to one memorable date involving a guy who claimed to be 12 years younger than he was (he really didn't look that old!)So when he spoke of his younger sister, 28, I became a little suspicious.

― Kate Silver (Kate Silver), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 16:02 (twenty-one years ago) link

so this one time i was dating this girl..

haha no

― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 16:16 (twenty-one years ago) link

I once went out with someone who, in front of several friends of mine, reached over, wiped off my lip gloss with his finger (it was during that terrible era of thick shiny flavored Lipglass trend), and ATE IT. Yum, petroleum jelly. Everyone else was like, your boyfriend is mad, and I was like, well, I guess it smelled good.

He also got like really livid during a group project, because me and the other boy "weren't taking corporal punishment seriously," because we were having a conversation about feeding castrated men's pieces to dogs. He, my boyfriend, stood up, screamed at us, and ran in a circle.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 16:23 (twenty-one years ago) link

was your boyfriend an Apache?

― James Blount (James Blount), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 16:25 (twenty-one years ago) link

No, he was German.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 16:44 (twenty-one years ago) link

Same diff.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 16:45 (twenty-one years ago) link

Haha also he used to wear this Speed Racer shirt, all the time. I don't think I ever saw him out of the Speed Racer shirt. So one day, my mom emails me this website, "Go look at this." She'd been looking up the UofA math program because my sisters are like mad mathematicians. There he was, heavier and adult-er. WEARING THE SPEED RACER T-SHIRT.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 16:46 (twenty-one years ago) link

I remember hearing the lipgloss eating story before but it's still funny.

― Nicole (Nicole), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 16:49 (twenty-one years ago) link

at least he didn't grease up his anus with it and yell bingo.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 17:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

With the lipgloss or the Speed Racer shirt?

I mean, honestly, who wears the same Speed Racer shirt for 6+ years? Also, who dates a guy who wears the same Speed Racer shirt for 6+ years? God I"m disgusted with myself now.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 17:04 (twenty-one years ago) link

bingo

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 17:06 (twenty-one years ago) link

Once I dated a guy who didn't speak English.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 17:11 (twenty-one years ago) link

Ally, Bingo is the universal language.

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 17:13 (twenty-one years ago) link

haha!

― James Blount (James Blount), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 17:14 (twenty-one years ago) link

I find that to be the case, yes.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 17:17 (twenty-one years ago) link

A 'good' story here is one told to me by my former girlfriend Jane. A car accident had put her in a wheelchair at the age of 15, and when she was 17 and largely adjusted to it, she went on a first date with a boy she really liked, to a restaurant. As they took their places, the waitress leaned in to the boy and, pointing at Jane, said "If she needs the toilet it's down that corridor." Jane was too embarrassed and angry to talk for a while.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 17:21 (twenty-one years ago) link

Once this girl's dad busted us making out, and there was this big awkward silence (esp. cause he was reknowned for freaking out and pulling guns on boys he had caught her with), but instead of yelling and pulling a gun and whatnot, he just started laughing hysterically and saying "Ha! I thought you were gay!"

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 17:21 (twenty-one years ago) link

I once had sex in the back of a limo after a prom. I didn't yell out bingo when I came.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 17:28 (twenty-one years ago) link

I went on one date with this girl who some friends hooked me up with. For some reason, I thought it was a sure thing, we seemed to have good "phone chemistry," etc. Then, the night of the date, we went to go see Mike Leigh's Naked (I didn't know much about it other than it got positive reviews). Needless to say, since the movie begins with a rape scene, we didn't go out again.

― hstencil, Tuesday, 8 April 2003 17:29 (twenty-one years ago) link

Chris, you are officially the man. I'd like to have seen the look on your face.

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 17:30 (twenty-one years ago) link

It was cool, we rolled up that divider. I felt like P. Diddler in that shit. (even though he was my age around that time)

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 17:32 (twenty-one years ago) link

hstencil and gygax! similar story Shockah!

replace "Naked" with "Kids" at the West Coast Premiere at the Nuart. She was my ex-girlfriend's promicuous friend. She didn't talk the entire way home. Bad idea date movie.*

*other notable: I went over to someone's parents house I was dating and the movie selection was "The Bad Lieutenant"... the movie didn't last very long.

― gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 17:34 (twenty-one years ago) link

You were an awkward teenager when Kids came out, gygax!? I remember seeing it in college, and you're older than me...

― hstencil, Tuesday, 8 April 2003 17:37 (twenty-one years ago) link

i'm a teenager at heart.

― gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 17:42 (twenty-one years ago) link

Frightening visions. Matos pretty much captures my experience.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 17:43 (twenty-one years ago) link

I wasn't a teenager at the time, but: I once almost went on a first date with a guy to see Sick.

But he stood me up because he didn't know how to get a hold of me to say he had come down with a bad case of stigmata. The wounds of Christ had spontaneously appeared on his wrists.

N.B. He was Jewish. Also, it turned out, he was a diaper fetishist. It was really a lot more than I had bargained for.

― Chris P (Chris P), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 17:45 (twenty-one years ago) link

*giggles* Er, sorry.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 17:47 (twenty-one years ago) link

Oh, like it's never happened to you.

― Chris P (Chris P), Tuesday, 8 April 2003 17:49 (twenty-one years ago) link

heh, never dated either.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 09:06 (twenty-one years ago) link

Nearly out of my teens, never been on a date.

― Melissa W (Melissa W), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 09:16 (twenty-one years ago) link

My first and only date was when I was about 12. My mum dropped us off at the movies to see "Like Father Like Son". It was full, so we phoned her mum to come and fetch us. She did, and drove me home. As we turned into my house my brother leapt out of the pool and ran into the house bollock-naked right in front of us. The next day I got dumped.

― Sam (chirombo), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 09:19 (twenty-one years ago) link

Well, I'm 25 and I've never been on a date, really. And I've only been on three kind-of-dates.

― caitlin (caitlin), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 09:54 (twenty-one years ago) link

On my first date with an ex at the age of about 16 I got the shit kicked out of me at a bus stop and her parents, who I'd never met before, had to drive me to casualty bleeding all over their car. That was kinda awkward.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 10:11 (twenty-one years ago) link

I first read that "got the shit kicked out of me at a bus stop by her parents" and thought - blimey, that's a bit strong!

(sorry to be flippant, MDC)

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 10:16 (twenty-one years ago) link

um, i misread that just like JtN.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 10:36 (twenty-one years ago) link

I had my first "dating" experience when I was drinking beer in a park with a bunch of people from a local high school, some of whom I knew. A friend of mine introduced me to this girl, then tied us together with her handcuffs, and disappeared. Obviously, I was forced to spend the night with the girl, which then led to kissing etc. We dated for a couple of weeks, but it didn't work out. She was always chewing gum, and she didn't take it off even whe were kissing (I never found out where'd she put it). That wasn't the reason we broke up, though...

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 11:06 (twenty-one years ago) link

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