Let's Bang on About Hypercube ! (here be spoilers)

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I am a fan of the first Cube film. It stands alone by being so fucking bad and so fucking superb at the same time. I'm certain they had to break the laws of physics to make it.

Now, with Hypercube, they definitely do break the laws of physics and set it in a tesseract. Not a bad way to squeeze a sequel out of such a self-contained movie. But this doesn't stop it being fist-chewingly awful. Neither does it mean it is in any way connected to the first film.

It was nice to see the Cube tradition of uber-cliche characters upheld, also the fascinatingly inane dialogue and the wonderfully idiotic device of a "crazy person" who knew all the answers. It was utter crapulence to see a shit CGI ending on par with The Faculty and a denoument about secretive goverment/military types.

And the plotholes! Plotholes the earth could travel through! And the cannibalism! And the guy getting ripped apart by a solid piece of chaos theory! And the crazy sex scene!

Hypercube is a quality B-movie for our time. The Cube itself is jostling in my affections with the industrial machinery Eminem uses in 8 Mile for a "Best Non-Human Actor" award.

But don't get me wrong, it's a dreadful film. No hang on, it's great.

Wait. No it isn't.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 14:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe the way forward would be "Celebrity Cube". The biggest problem getting this off the ground would be sticking to the Cube premise that each participant would have to have a specific role. Following the rules, there would have to be an idiot savant maths genius. There ain't many of these about.

Maybe it'd be an idea to put Dustin Hoffman in there with a note attatched saying "That film spread nothing but misinformation about autism, your characters symptoms were far more representative of Ausbergis syndrome. Act your way out of this one, bastard".

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 14:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Carol Vorderman the obvious second choice. As for the macho guy who goes nuts, I vote Les Dennis.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 15:02 (twenty-two years ago)

No, hang on, Dennis Hopper. He's probably the best psycho out there. Mind you, Dennis would be a better choice to fall foul of an acid trap. Or one of those cheese wire rooms where homeboyz get cubed.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 15:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Stick the machine from 8-Mile in there as the caring doctor/teacher type who almost certainly makes it to the end, or the fat guy who gets it 1st, that machine can play any part you can conceive, also imagine the on screen tension between Cube and Machine, priceless.

I vote Rory McGrath as the engineer guy who was "only one piece ina giant machine"

Then we need some horny teenagers who die whilst having "the sex".

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 15:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I'll call Hollyoaks.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 15:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Cube was brilliant... so Hypercube must be hyperbrilliant! this is the best news ever.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 15:26 (twenty-two years ago)

yeh it wasnt til i went into a Prime Time Video that i saw they'd listed Hypercube among the forthcoming releases and i actually realised this was a sequel to a film i found good fun and very thought-provoking despite being so obviously flawed. not sure if its getting a cinema release in the UK but look forward to seeing it

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 10 April 2003 08:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Hypercube is making the rounds on the Sci-Fi network here. Like the first movie (which I loved) it's a goofy above-average episode of the Outer Limits.

But no Outer Limits episode ever got me to dig around for sites about higher dimensions. Found a great site with animation of what a 4-dimensional cube would look like intersecting 3-dimensional space.

― Chris Barrus (Chris Barrus), Thursday, 10 April 2003 10:44 (twenty-two years ago)

three years pass...

i actually watched Cube Zero the other night and it's pretty awful as expected. what riled me the most was how they set up the hero to become Kazan. the end scene matching the early scene of the first movie with the others discovering Kazan, same dialogue and everything but obv. with completely different actors in place of the originals (also the cube design is different) which is just insane.

― vita susicivus (blueski), Thursday, 25 January 2007 14:18 (eighteen years ago)

one year passes...

I watched Hypercube at five in the morning on Saturday. It was pretty awesome.

― nabisco, Monday, 25 August 2008 17:33 (sixteen years ago)

I mean, c'mon, parallel-universe time-flux cannibalism!

― nabisco, Monday, 25 August 2008 17:35 (sixteen years ago)

I remember watching this movie at a cinema with some friends, like maybe three years ago or whenever it came out. I remember what I did with my friends before and after the movie. I cannot remember a single damn thing about the movie, except that dude eating people and starting a watch collection.

Also, anyone know where I can find a gif I saw here I think of a cube folding into itself or something. Like a hypercube in movement that kept turning back into a cube. Yeah I know this description is really not helpful... its a little bit similar to the animation linked upthread by chris barrus

― Jibe, Monday, 25 August 2008 17:39 (sixteen years ago)

He ate the same guy over and over! In alternate timelines! And kept stealing his watch! And eating that woman! And stealing her ID card!

And then Kate stabs him in the eye and turns around and he's standing there! Older! And blind in one eye! He's been wandering around for like a decade eating and eating and re-eating the same people, just waiting for his revenge!

― nabisco, Monday, 25 August 2008 18:04 (sixteen years ago)

And all the cubes have been inscribed with the mysterious number 60659, which I was hoping would turn out to mean "the secret of the hypercube can be found in a neighborhood just west up Uptown on the north side of Chicago!"

― nabisco, Monday, 25 August 2008 18:06 (sixteen years ago)

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