masturbation and authors photos

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Have you ever masturbated while/after looking at the picture of an author on a book jacket? If so who was it? (This is prompted by the film Adaptation)

― hamish (hamish), Thursday, 10 April 2003 10:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I haven't.

― hamish (hamish), Thursday, 10 April 2003 10:01 (twenty-three years ago)

Nope.

― Mark C (Mark C), Thursday, 10 April 2003 10:08 (twenty-three years ago)

Er.....no.

I have been sexually excited by a photo of someone I have never met though, if that helps your survey at all.

― C J (C J), Thursday, 10 April 2003 10:13 (twenty-three years ago)

Tony Parsons. Mmmmmmm.

NB THIS IS A BIG LIE

― j0e (j0e), Thursday, 10 April 2003 10:16 (twenty-three years ago)

You read a Tony Parsons book?!?!?

― Alex K (Alex K), Thursday, 10 April 2003 10:38 (twenty-three years ago)

Pervert.

― Mark C (Mark C), Thursday, 10 April 2003 10:38 (twenty-three years ago)

Well, it's better than Nicholas Parsons. Probably.

― C J (C J), Thursday, 10 April 2003 10:41 (twenty-three years ago)

But not as good as Donald Parsnips.

― Alex K (Alex K), Thursday, 10 April 2003 10:44 (twenty-three years ago)

You read a Tony Parsons book?!?!?

no, I can't read

― j0e (j0e), Thursday, 10 April 2003 10:53 (twenty-three years ago)

Stephen King! -- Oh I am so joking. Urrrrgh.

― Wouldn't you like to know (Amused), Thursday, 10 April 2003 10:56 (twenty-three years ago)

I really really hope that last noise wasn't an orgasm.

― Nick A. (Nick A.), Thursday, 10 April 2003 11:03 (twenty-three years ago)

No, it was a groan of revulsion.

― Wouldn't you like to know (Amused), Thursday, 10 April 2003 12:04 (twenty-three years ago)

Most striking author's photo I recall (on a review copy) was Storm Constantine. Among writers whose work I love, Alice Hoffman was very lovely.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 10 April 2003 19:49 (twenty-three years ago)

The New Orleans East library has, in general circulation and for no reason I can see except probable donation, a limited edition of an anthology of horror stories, autographed by Poppy Z. Brite and with a nude photograph of her as her author photo. But my answer's still no.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 10 April 2003 20:16 (twenty-three years ago)

I was really into Tom Tryon when I was a kid. I'll leave it at that.

http://outcyclopedia.0catch.com/ttryon.jpg

― Arthur (Arthur), Thursday, 10 April 2003 20:31 (twenty-three years ago)

Was really into Shakespeare and David Eddings when I was in my early 20's and slightly less cynical. A flight of fantasy goes a long way, when tomorrow's paper was a week late, and school books are about to melt your brain...

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 10 April 2003 22:32 (twenty-three years ago)

I thought this was going to be an anthony thread.

― That Girl (thatgirl), Friday, 11 April 2003 00:29 (twenty-three years ago)

me too!

― Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Friday, 11 April 2003 00:47 (twenty-three years ago)

Where is Anthony?

― Matt (Matt), Friday, 11 April 2003 00:55 (twenty-three years ago)

masturabating to dust jackets. . .

― That Girl (thatgirl), Friday, 11 April 2003 00:57 (twenty-three years ago)

Fair enough. Everyone has to have a hobby.

― Matt (Matt), Friday, 11 April 2003 01:38 (twenty-three years ago)

welcome back, hamish!

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 11 April 2003 02:45 (twenty-three years ago)

huh? I haven't been away. (nb this thread was started tobecause no-one would answer my democracy thread, thinking people on ILE only want to talk about wanking.)

― hamish (hamish), Friday, 11 April 2003 02:54 (twenty-three years ago)

But where is Anthony? I was expecting at least fifty photos from him.

― hamish (hamish), Friday, 11 April 2003 02:55 (twenty-three years ago)

And why wouldn't we prefer to talk about wanking?

― hamish (hamish), Friday, 11 April 2003 02:55 (twenty-three years ago)

it's a lot easier to do than talk about

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Friday, 11 April 2003 02:59 (twenty-three years ago)

Depends how disabled you are.

― hamish (hamish), Friday, 11 April 2003 03:03 (twenty-three years ago)

that reminds me of a song by Shack

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Friday, 11 April 2003 03:09 (twenty-three years ago)

You guys have no idea how revolting this concept is to someone who spends his days collecting the author photos of economists.

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 11 April 2003 05:36 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh, like most authors are much better.

― Chris P (Chris P), Friday, 11 April 2003 05:47 (twenty-three years ago)

Dude, I could give you a full ranking of every academic discipline's good-lookingness, and trust me, economists are not exactly French historians. (In other news, classics is totally on the upswing.)

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 11 April 2003 05:51 (twenty-three years ago)

So which is the sexiest discipline, Nabisco? Tell me it's not Cultural Studies.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Friday, 11 April 2003 08:29 (twenty-three years ago)

I think Zadie Smith is pretty hot, but I hate the jacket photo she's used for both White Teeth and The Autograph Man. She looks too gussied up:

http://www.seattleweekly.com/graphics/features/0245/bookzadiesmith.jpg

Much better:

http://www.greetsomeone.com/mag/june/buttons/zadie.jpg

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 11 April 2003 13:38 (twenty-three years ago)

Nooo.... Why won't it post the good one??

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 11 April 2003 13:40 (twenty-three years ago)

Maybe?

http://image.pathfinder.com/ew/itlist/2000/img/smith.jpg

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 11 April 2003 13:42 (twenty-three years ago)

Roxor. :-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 11 April 2003 13:55 (twenty-three years ago)

i am offended that my rep is all about penis touching.

― anthony easton (anthony), Saturday, 12 April 2003 18:06 (twenty-three years ago)

are you saying it's unfair, Anthony?

― Mark C (Mark C), Saturday, 12 April 2003 21:20 (twenty-three years ago)

hubba hubba:

― hstencil, Saturday, 12 April 2003 21:39 (twenty-three years ago)

did i say anything about fairness ?

― anthony easton (anthony), Saturday, 12 April 2003 21:39 (twenty-three years ago)

two years pass...

http://www.ariellevy.net/images/arismall.jpg

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 22 March 2006 16:55 (twenty years ago)

Arundhati Roy
http://sisyphe.org/IMG/gif/doc-542.gif
rowr!

― Stone Monkey (Stone Monkey), Wednesday, 22 March 2006 16:58 (twenty years ago)

Oh man.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 22 March 2006 16:59 (twenty years ago)

It's kinda sad that this thread appears to have devolved into people posting pix of authors they fancy...

Actually, who am I kidding?

― Stone Monkey (Stone Monkey), Wednesday, 22 March 2006 17:02 (twenty years ago)

Who is Hstencil's pic of?

― the firefox, Wednesday, 22 March 2006 17:03 (twenty years ago)

yes, who?

http://ww1.mid-day.com/ArticleImages/images25/jhumpa-lahiri1910a.jpg

― AaronK (AaronK), Wednesday, 22 March 2006 17:03 (twenty years ago)

haha xpost and post

― AaronK (AaronK), Wednesday, 22 March 2006 17:04 (twenty years ago)

I would love to look like a young Joan Didion, but I don't fancy her.

― Anna (Anna), Wednesday, 22 March 2006 17:10 (twenty years ago)

at first glance I mistook hstencil's Joan Didion for Anne Frank

― Aaron A, Wednesday, 22 March 2006 17:14 (twenty years ago)

It's kinda sad that this thread appears to have devolved into people posting pix of authors they fancy...

Actually, who am I kidding?

-- Stone Monkey (stonemonke...), March 22nd, 2006.

hhahaha yes after such a promising thread premise!

― latebloomer is a belly with a guy pierce in it (latebloomer), Wednesday, 22 March 2006 17:14 (twenty years ago)

five months pass...

http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2001/yir/interactive/passages.gallery/images/eudora.welty.jpg

― mr. brojangles (sanskrit), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 17:40 (twenty years ago)

Galaxy Craze
http://www.writerscenter.org/images/galaxy.jpg

― stet (stet), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 17:46 (twenty years ago)

six months pass...

http://cache.gawker.com/assets/resources/2006/10/marisha%20pessl%20better%20silent.jpg

― jaymc, Thursday, 12 April 2007 16:07 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.olemiss.edu/mwp/news/2005/2005_0322_oxfordbookconference.jpg

― Mr. Que, Thursday, 12 April 2007 16:13 (nineteen years ago)

Surely there's a lot more real gold to be mined, but this guy's heart was in the right place:

"Bad Author Photos"
http://todgoldberg.typepad.com/tod_goldberg/2005/03/dig_if_you_will.html

― Ben Boyerrr, Thursday, 12 April 2007 16:16 (nineteen years ago)

One of the reasons I read The Heart is a Lonely Hunter is because I was sort of enchanted with the photo of McCullers on the cover:

http://a0.vox.com/6a00c2252bb78a8fdb00cd970075984cd5-500pi

― jaymc, Thursday, 12 April 2007 16:23 (nineteen years ago)

As I recall, the author photo of Arundhati Roy on the cover of The God of Small Things made her look very arch and pretty and made a definite sexual appeal. I didn't masturbate to it, though. Nor to any other author photos that I can recall.

― Aimless, Thursday, 12 April 2007 17:46 (nineteen years ago)

[i]made a definite sexual appeal{/i]

??? the picture of her posted upthread, you mean? I don't really see this.

― horseshoe, Thursday, 12 April 2007 17:52 (nineteen years ago)

ten months pass...

http://www.pittsburghlectures.org/img/VFa05_Egge_1400095565_aup.jpg

― o-ess, Thursday, 14 February 2008 11:27 (eighteen years ago)

three years pass...

http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lg26fkGa2r1qefltmo1_500.jpg

― max, Thursday, 17 February 2011 20:52 (fifteen years ago)

who is that

― just sayin, Thursday, 17 February 2011 20:54 (fifteen years ago)

louise erdrich

― max, Thursday, 17 February 2011 20:54 (fifteen years ago)

i dont know if thats an authors pic. i just like this thread title.

― max, Thursday, 17 February 2011 20:55 (fifteen years ago)

lol i thought that photo was from, like, now

but it is actually an old photo

― for all the fucked-up children of this world we give you 1p3 (history mayne), Thursday, 17 February 2011 20:55 (fifteen years ago)

jeez louise

― goole, Thursday, 17 February 2011 20:55 (fifteen years ago)

'a typewriter, so vintage'

― for all the fucked-up children of this world we give you 1p3 (history mayne), Thursday, 17 February 2011 20:55 (fifteen years ago)

how was masturbating to that photo?

― call all destroyer, Thursday, 17 February 2011 20:56 (fifteen years ago)

"i just came across this"

― goole, Thursday, 17 February 2011 20:57 (fifteen years ago)

That's not what Louise Erdrich's author photos look like at all.

What ever happened with the child abuse allegations w/ her and Dorris (I know he killed himself)?

― Fig On A Plate Cart (Alex in SF), Thursday, 17 February 2011 20:59 (fifteen years ago)

Great thread. And nope, but I like this pic of Megan Abbott:

http://www.crimeculture.com/Images/09_Megan_Abbott.jpg

― Hodge Podge Bodge, Peo-PLE! (Dan Peterson), Thursday, 17 February 2011 21:04 (fifteen years ago)

masturbating to that photo was awesome, by the way

― max, Friday, 18 February 2011 05:50 (fifteen years ago)

it was a great masturbation

― max, Friday, 18 February 2011 05:50 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.bloomsbury.com/images/Authors/Small/559.jpg

this one of emma forrest is kind of pretentious

― for all the fucked-up children of this world we give you 1p3 (history mayne), Friday, 18 February 2011 08:49 (fifteen years ago)

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