The Girl Who Eats Pens

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Right, girl at work, she is annoying and all that - but hell, office psychosis is nothing new (thank god this is a contract job) but this girl, she EATS pens. Literally eats them. Down to the nib. Sharpnel flies out of her mouth. There are pen remnants underneath her desk. Throughout the day she takes thin pieces of plastic from her mouth and throws the in the rubbish. I have pointed out this disturbing behaviour to others but nobody seems to think it is necessarily odd ... that and when she is in the act of eating pens, the sounds she makes is the sound of bad oral sex.

― Sonny Tremaine (Sonny), Thursday, 10 April 2003 18:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Fancy a pen to eat? Please tell me something - this is bamboozling me to distract. DOWN TO THE NIB.

― Sonny Tremaine (Sonny), Thursday, 10 April 2003 18:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I swear I thought the title said "penis"

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Thursday, 10 April 2003 18:57 (twenty-two years ago)

what's a nib? and can we eat it?

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Thursday, 10 April 2003 19:01 (twenty-two years ago)

...that and when she is in the act of eating pens, the sounds she makes is the sound of bad oral sex.

There's bad oral sex? What, like...teeth!?!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 10 April 2003 19:03 (twenty-two years ago)

and what happens with the ink? Does she get a clown face?

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Thursday, 10 April 2003 19:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Sharpnel flies out of her mouth

Would've been better is the typo was Sharpie-nel

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 10 April 2003 19:08 (twenty-two years ago)

It's truly awful. Obviously this is unique.

― Sonny Tremaine (Sonny), Thursday, 10 April 2003 19:09 (twenty-two years ago)

At least she's not continuously picking her nose or biting her nails. Or would you prefer this?

― Sodeho, Thursday, 10 April 2003 20:09 (twenty-two years ago)

I used to eat the pen til there was half left, I dunno why.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 10 April 2003 20:11 (twenty-two years ago)

At least she's not continuously picking her nose or biting her nails. Or would you prefer this?

She does this as well.

― Sonny Tremaine (Sonny), Thursday, 10 April 2003 20:13 (twenty-two years ago)

In the 4th grade I used to bend the long part of my pen cap so it was at a right angle and then twirl my pen around for hours and hours until... one day I looked up and my teacher looked at me in horror and said "Your neck!" I looked down and there was splatters of ink everywhere. I looked at my classmates around me and their faces were splashed with ink. It was an ink blood bath. I went to the bathroom and realized that I had ink all over my entire neck. Centrifugal forces blah blah blah I never did it again so I took to chewing my pen caps.

― Carey (Carey), Thursday, 10 April 2003 20:16 (twenty-two years ago)

She may be trendsetting a new type of diet: enough ink, you will get too ill to fill your stomach...

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 10 April 2003 20:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I was chewing on a pen once in high school and it broke. I didn't know it but ink went all over my hands. I wiped my upper lip and had a "hitleresque" black stache made from ink. I didn't know this and was wondering why people were walking by me all day going "heil hitler"

― Chris V. (Chris V), Thursday, 10 April 2003 22:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Chris in Seinfeld shocka!

― Leee (Leee), Thursday, 10 April 2003 23:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Am I alone in foreseeing a future for this thread on the 'misread threads' thread? Maybe from googlers prone to typos too! Hi randomm goggler!

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 11 April 2003 11:26 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought this thread was going to be abt Björk. I seem to remember that around the time that "Post" came out she was accosted by some annoying journo type asking her questions, so she snatched his pen away from his and ate it! Does anyone else remember this?

― MarkH (MarkH), Friday, 11 April 2003 11:34 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought she just punched somebody. Eating their pen is funnier.

I never ate pens. I don't even chew on them. I tend to stick guitar pix in my mouth more often than necessary, but that's about it.

One day my boss was talking to me and scratching his back with his pen and he had forgotten to put the top back on! He had pen marks all over the back of his shirt. ha ha!

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 11 April 2003 11:40 (twenty-two years ago)

hi i'm a radnom oggler. would yo eat my penis?

― Badasfuc (Tuomas), Friday, 11 April 2003 11:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I tend to stick guitar pix in my mouth more often than necessary, but that's about it.

he he he...I'm constantly putting my pic in my mouth when switching to finger-style pickin' and forgetting it's there and going to sing and spitting it across the room.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 11 April 2003 12:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I eat pen lids. Well I don't eat them but I chew them up and then bin them. I think it's because I don't see the purpose of having a lid for a Bic ballpoint pen - as far as I can see, the only people who benefit from pen lids are those 'salesperson' types who are too cool to put their pen behind their ear, preferring to hook it over their blue, short sleeved shirt pockets with the lid. So I think that by ridding the world of pen lids, I am doing the us all a favour.

― Wouldn't you like to know (Amused), Friday, 11 April 2003 12:25 (twenty-two years ago)

None of my pens have lids. Except I guess my permanent markers and highliters, but those aren't pens now are they? I do really like to click my pens though.

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Friday, 11 April 2003 12:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Biros leave blobs all over your writing if you don't keep lids on them though!

― Madchen (Madchen), Friday, 11 April 2003 12:28 (twenty-two years ago)

I have a phobia about swallowing ink, and yet I still chew pens. Every now and then I'll whip one out of my mouth and check to see if it's leaking. Hasn't happened yet.

― Andrew (enneff), Friday, 11 April 2003 12:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I read this thread as 'The Girl Who Eats Penis'.

I'm very disappointed.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 11 April 2003 12:32 (twenty-two years ago)

My pens always exploded in my pockets in elementary school. Or maybe that just happened once and traumatized me to the point that I think it happened several times.

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Friday, 11 April 2003 12:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I didn't read the thread title's 'pen' as 'penis' but I read sarah mclusky's last one as.

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 11 April 2003 12:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Matt DC - YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE. ;-)

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 11 April 2003 12:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I always get them confused, at school I was arrested almost daily.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 11 April 2003 12:36 (twenty-two years ago)

My pens always exploded in my pockets in elementary school. Or maybe that just happened once and traumatized me to the point that I think it happened several times.

Fnarr.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 11 April 2003 12:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't have a pen!!!! DAMnit! Not funny.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 11 April 2003 12:42 (twenty-two years ago)

tell me whether this is true or whether it is baloney: I heard that BiC started making pen lids with a hole in the top, rather than with the lid-top filled in with that tiny knobbly bit of plastic, so that when kidz accidentally swallowed them it would help them to breathe and reduce the possibility of them choking. I suspect this is rubbidge (& the real reason is that the change reduced production costs for BiC) but it was said by so many ppl at the time that I began to wonder.

I'm not sure when "the time" was, incidentally, I'd guess abt 10 years ago....

― MarkH (MarkH), Friday, 11 April 2003 12:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Mark, I seem to remember seeing a piece on Newsround about kiddies choking on pen lids, so I guess it must be true. I'd always assumed that was why they changed the lids, but am still baffled at how a hole that small could save a choking youngster.

― Madchen (Madchen), Friday, 11 April 2003 13:53 (twenty-two years ago)

there's this thing called pica, apparently it's the desire to eat non-normally-edible thngs, like pens, hair...etc....it's an actual condition, from which i suffer mildly...i too used to eat pens as a child, and even now i do find myself nibbling as stray threads!

― jeanne picot (jeanne picot), Sunday, 13 April 2003 03:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Sonny: Give the girl at work a jar full of "squiggle pens" -- the ones with batteries that vibrate. They cured my pen-eating ways ... though they led to certain other behaviors which also may not be acceptable in the workplace.

― jewelly (jewelly), Sunday, 13 April 2003 05:11 (twenty-two years ago)

I wonder if Monsieur Mangetout started off with pica and then realised he could make a living out of it.

'Pica' means magpie incidentally and I think the eating everything term came about becasue magpies are v. omnivorous. Not to be confused with 'pica' meaning a 12 pt typeface (not that you would, or anything)

― MarkH (MarkH), Sunday, 13 April 2003 19:51 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.guinnessattractions.com/Images/worldrecords/omnivore.jpg

Monsieur Mangetout!

― MarkH (MarkH), Sunday, 13 April 2003 19:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Pika!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Sunday, 13 April 2003 19:58 (twenty-two years ago)

a pika is a small animal a bit like a rabbit, but with short ears.

― MarkH (MarkH), Sunday, 13 April 2003 20:05 (twenty-two years ago)

when i was in grade 2, at school in india, all the kids used to eat chalk. One time the class actually ate like, THE WHOLE BOX OF THE TEACHERS CHALK, so there was no chalk for her to write with. we all got interrogated like "who ate the chalk?". nobody would fess up though, so everyone got in trouble.

peer pressure led me to try and eat it, but i just couldn't stomach it.

― sand.y, Sunday, 13 April 2003 20:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Who ate all the chalk = brilliant new football chant. Chalk wd be good to eat to ease the indigestion after eating all the pies.

― C J (C J), Sunday, 13 April 2003 21:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I love the title of this thread. I'm going to use it as the title for something.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Sunday, 13 April 2003 21:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Everyone ate glue paste in grade school, right?

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Monday, 14 April 2003 12:10 (twenty-two years ago)

She ate two pens today. And she's told everyone that she has narcolepsy. She slept for an hour off and on - waking up when there was a loud noise. When people saw her sleep she made a concerted effort to 'slap' herself awake. SMells like wee today as well.

― soony, Thursday, 17 April 2003 13:44 (twenty-two years ago)

That Björk pen-eating story - appara she was in a club and some blokes start taking the piss. So she tells them to fuck off. Then they ask her for an autograph and proffer a piece of paper and a biro so she grabs them, chews them up and swallows them. AND THEN SHE ATE THEIR FACES possibly

I am a mine of useless Björktrivia

― j0e (j0e), Thursday, 17 April 2003 13:51 (twenty-two years ago)

(I eat pens by the way. Mmmmmm plastic. Crunch crunch)

― j0e (j0e), Thursday, 17 April 2003 13:54 (twenty-two years ago)

all the kids used to eat chalk

the desire to eat non-food items (pica I think is the medical term), is a symptom of anemia. I think chalk is actually a notorious weird craving for anemic kids.

Did all the kids in your school have a lot of bruises on their arms & legs and seem generally lethargic?

― martin mushrush (mushrush), Thursday, 17 April 2003 16:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Sounds like she may actually have a drug problem.

― Christine "Green Leafy Dragon" Indigo (cindigo), Friday, 18 April 2003 00:40 (twenty-two years ago)

She sounds loony.

I really have never wanted to eat odd things.

― That Girl (thatgirl), Friday, 18 April 2003 00:43 (twenty-two years ago)

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