So I called God and asked for the rain to stop...

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And she hung up on me. Have any of you all tried contacting the Allmighty for any reason? Have you gotten positive responses?

― Ian Johnson (orion), Friday, 11 April 2003 16:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Damn, dude, I was gonna ask if you could call God and request a Porsche for me.

― hstencil, Friday, 11 April 2003 17:01 (twenty-two years ago)

hey at least you the number.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 11 April 2003 17:02 (twenty-two years ago)

at least you KNOW the number.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 11 April 2003 17:03 (twenty-two years ago)

but it might've been a wrong number, hence the hanging up bit.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 11 April 2003 17:05 (twenty-two years ago)

and they were female.

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 11 April 2003 17:07 (twenty-two years ago)

No way, man. Call her yourself - 1-800-342-5463, extension 0. She's a cunt,

― Ian Johnson (orion), Friday, 11 April 2003 17:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Sister Claire told me in 5th grade that I was going to hell, so I don't know if Divine Intervention would help at this juncture

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 11 April 2003 17:22 (twenty-two years ago)

I saw a car on the way to work the other day that made me laugh. The license plate was FAERIE and it had a bumper sticker that said, "GODDESS, PROTECT OUR TROOPS!"

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 11 April 2003 17:52 (twenty-two years ago)

That was probably my mom.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 11 April 2003 18:06 (twenty-two years ago)

in her hybrid car: part gas, part patchouli

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 11 April 2003 18:06 (twenty-two years ago)

God's a bloke. He encouraged society to be a sucky, war-torn patriarchy, after all.

― ChristineSH (chrissie1068), Friday, 11 April 2003 18:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Right, if God was a woman, society would be a sucky, war-torn matriarchy instead.

― Nick A. (Nick A.), Friday, 11 April 2003 18:25 (twenty-two years ago)

but wars would consist of vicious putdowns that result in the losing country having self-confidence issues

― oops (Oops), Friday, 11 April 2003 18:27 (twenty-two years ago)

haha, good one, nick A.

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 11 April 2003 18:28 (twenty-two years ago)

No. All wars are symbolic of penis size. I thought everyone knew that.

― ChristineSH (chrissie1068), Friday, 11 April 2003 18:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Although, if Dubya thinks he's fooled anyone into believing he's anything but a needle-dick, he needs to think again...

― ChristineSH (chrissie1068), Friday, 11 April 2003 18:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Christine, I hope you're not being serious, or else I'll have to club you with my penis.

― Nick A. (Nick A.), Friday, 11 April 2003 19:11 (twenty-two years ago)

god is just the most beautiful black woman. i've been to her house. it's nice, but very cold and there are pictures of jesus EVERYWHERE.

― thuddd (thuddd), Friday, 11 April 2003 21:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Deadly serious.

...

That smarts.

― ChristineSH (chrissie1068), Friday, 11 April 2003 22:38 (twenty-two years ago)

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