Rowan Atkinson in Bond Spoof

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I challenge you to come up with a worse five-word film idea. Bonus points if yours, like mine, actually exists.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Monday, 14 April 2003 00:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Vin Diesel is A Man Apart (with his buddy).

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 14 April 2003 00:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Vin Diesel's A Man Part?

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Monday, 14 April 2003 00:20 (twenty-two years ago)

high noon in outer space

(this = an actual film. i can't remember what it ws called, but it had sean connery in it & it = sux0r)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Monday, 14 April 2003 00:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Rowan Atkinson in Bond Spoof

He already appeared in Never Say Never Again twenty years ago = this project has already happened.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 14 April 2003 00:21 (twenty-two years ago)

High Noon in Outer Space = Outland

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 14 April 2003 00:21 (twenty-two years ago)

though i admit that isn't anywhere near as bad as rowan atkinson in bond spoof.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Monday, 14 April 2003 00:22 (twenty-two years ago)

"Outland", yes. Terrible.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Monday, 14 April 2003 00:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Jack Palance in Fetish Porn.

― Chris P (Chris P), Monday, 14 April 2003 00:23 (twenty-two years ago)

He already did The Outlaw, Chris. Midget buffalo shot!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 14 April 2003 00:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Tom Hanks talk about Toploader.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Monday, 14 April 2003 00:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Christopher Walken directs Chick Flick.

― Chris P (Chris P), Monday, 14 April 2003 00:25 (twenty-two years ago)

John Hughes as Johnny Wadd in Steel Magnolias

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 14 April 2003 00:27 (twenty-two years ago)

That has more than five words.

― Chris P (Chris P), Monday, 14 April 2003 00:34 (twenty-two years ago)

disney's 121 days of sodom.

― RJG (RJG), Monday, 14 April 2003 00:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Crime And Punishment In Suburbia.

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 14 April 2003 00:38 (twenty-two years ago)

The Alien series goes disco.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Monday, 14 April 2003 00:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Hugh Grant in Romantic Comedy

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 14 April 2003 00:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Andre meets Flubber meets Flashdance

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Monday, 14 April 2003 00:41 (twenty-two years ago)

John Cusack in Sweet Smell of Success remake.
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez in Casablanca remake.
Meryl Streep in Manchurian Candidate remake.
Star yet to be attached in Suspiria remake (produced by Dimension).
John Travolta in Harvey remake.

All of these are real projects.

― slutsky (slutsky), Monday, 14 April 2003 00:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Legend Of Zelda: The Movie.

― Chris P (Chris P), Monday, 14 April 2003 00:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Live Action Spongebob Square Pants.

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 14 April 2003 00:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Christopher Walken directs Chick Flick.

The Alien series goes disco.

Andre meets Flubber meets Flashdance

These are all great ideas.

― Millar (Millar), Monday, 14 April 2003 00:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Fabio in Hitler! The Musical.

― Chris P (Chris P), Monday, 14 April 2003 00:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Tom Green + Rock: Iraqi Freedom

― Millar (Millar), Monday, 14 April 2003 00:49 (twenty-two years ago)

That has more than five words.

I don't see you trashing Slutsky. *beats Chris P savagely* However, remove the first three words and my observation stands.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 14 April 2003 01:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Porn Starring Bono and Christina.

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 14 April 2003 01:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Roseanne Barr Bukkake Festival 17

― Millar (Millar), Monday, 14 April 2003 01:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Jack Black's day off

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 14 April 2003 01:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Adam Sandler's Pride and Prejudice

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 14 April 2003 01:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Bangbus 2 : Loving Granny's Gums
Donnie Darko versus Small Soldiers
Mike Myers does comedy accent!
Predator 3 : Predator fucks kids
Coke-addled Aronofsky with stellar budget
Royal Tenenbaums 2: The Tenenbauming

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Monday, 14 April 2003 01:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Pedos: The Feet of Fate

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 14 April 2003 01:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Awww, I liked Outland.

How about this:
The Rolling Stones battle criminals!
Live action Calvin and Hobbes!
Toilet-dwelling monsters conquer world!
Zsa Zsa Gabor joins stripshow!
Straights feign gayness on cruise!

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Monday, 14 April 2003 01:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Pauly Shore's big comeback movie!

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Monday, 14 April 2003 01:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh my god, the Rolling Stones battle criminals would be the greatest thing that ever happened on the silver screen, what are you talking about?

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 14 April 2003 01:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Live action Calvin and Hobbes!

Jesus H., the slash fic in text wasn't enough?

The White Stripes in Interiors.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 14 April 2003 01:34 (twenty-two years ago)

A friend of mine actually saw Pauly Shore's big comeback movie at SXSW. He said it was the worst thing he'd ever seen--directed by Shore, it's about a Pauly Shore-like character who fakes his own death and returns to a grateful and appreciative public. Apparently it's filled out with lots of celebrity interviews.

― slutsky (slutsky), Monday, 14 April 2003 01:36 (twenty-two years ago)

aka, An Alan Smithee Film II.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 14 April 2003 01:37 (twenty-two years ago)

It'd be pretty weird if Pauly Shore directed a movie about himself, starring himself, then took the Alan Smithee credit.

― slutsky (slutsky), Monday, 14 April 2003 01:38 (twenty-two years ago)

The Folk Implosion as Britpoppers (Laurel Canyon)

― j.lu (j.lu), Monday, 14 April 2003 01:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Joe Ezterhas adapts Lillian Hellman.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 14 April 2003 01:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Simon West remakes The Prisoner.

(also a real project)

― slutsky (slutsky), Monday, 14 April 2003 01:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Jamie Oliver remakes Alfie.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 14 April 2003 01:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh my god, the Rolling Stones battle criminals would be the greatest thing that ever happened on the silver screen, what are you talking about?
Of course they'd have to have superpowers. Mick could, like, flex his lips and defeat his enemies with the resulting shock waves. Keith could send his opponents into narcotics-induced comas just with a glance. Ron Wood could stun criminals with a quick history of all of the different bands he was in, no no no, not just the Stones. Charlie Watts would beat all of the bad guys to death with his Kill-o-Stix. All of the rest of their travelling roadshow would just stand around smoking, to create atmosphere (and a handy smokescreen which will daze the bad guys).

Bill Wyman could sit at home pouting that he left the Stones too early and that there's no Bill Wyman poseable action figure.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Monday, 14 April 2003 01:47 (twenty-two years ago)

ALF remakes "Oliver!"

― slutsky (slutsky), Monday, 14 April 2003 01:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Listen, I know some people, I'm going to put you in contact with them, Sean, because it is URGENT that we get this made.

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 14 April 2003 01:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Brad Pitt as The Talking Pie

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 14 April 2003 01:50 (twenty-two years ago)

When make movie, cast pie.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 14 April 2003 01:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Being Gil Gerard.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Monday, 14 April 2003 01:56 (twenty-two years ago)

BJ and the Bear 2003

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Monday, 14 April 2003 01:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 240 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Starring Tom Cruise and Puppy.

― Allyzay, Monday, 19 January 2004 19:54 (twenty-one years ago)

If only the puppy became an action hero.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 19 January 2004 19:56 (twenty-one years ago)

WAIT!

TOM CRUISE
PUPPIES
PARKER POSEY
WILLIAMSBURG
GENERAL LEE

― Allyzay, Monday, 19 January 2004 19:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Shit would indeed be fucked up.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 19 January 2004 20:05 (twenty-one years ago)

this ashton kutcher movie is going to be the bad movie of the year, is my prediction!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 19 January 2004 21:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Conor Oberst: Emo Action Hero.

I'll get my coat. Thatnks, but I can find my way out.

― j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 20 January 2004 16:32 (twenty-one years ago)

two months pass...

Sigh.

Steve Martin is prequel's Clouseau.

― Tep (ktepi), Saturday, 27 March 2004 16:35 (twenty-one years ago)

David Beckham to make a cameo appearance.

― Skottie, Saturday, 27 March 2004 17:30 (twenty-one years ago)

sigh indeed.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 27 March 2004 18:58 (twenty-one years ago)

It's not even that I don't like Steve Martin. I do. But as Clouseau? Even if I thought anyone could play the character (especially in a prequel; I mean, in a remake, maybe you can make the argument that some divorce from the original is perfectly okay and good, but a prequel sort of invites comparison), he'd be low on the list.

I'll bet it's still better than Son of the Pink Panther, though.

― Tep (ktepi), Saturday, 27 March 2004 21:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Nothing more promising than a film having two different directors.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 27 March 2004 21:15 (twenty-one years ago)

We're six away from a Casino Royale II!

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 27 March 2004 21:16 (twenty-one years ago)

OK, I'm really scared. I just looked at Steve Martin's recent filmography on IMdb. I had NO IDEA that he starred in film called Cheaper By The Dozen that made over 100 million bucks in the US earlier this year. I HAD NO IDEA. I'm not used to feeling this out of the loop.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 27 March 2004 21:20 (twenty-one years ago)

The advantage of Return of the King dominating all at that time -- things like that slipped just under the radar enough.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 27 March 2004 21:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I much rather would have heard about a shitty family pic with Steve Martin and Bonnie Hunt than Return Of The King. I'm THAT sick of LOTR hype. At this point lame-ass family comedies qualify as variety.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 27 March 2004 21:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Hey! ROTK DVD in two months, woo! *hides*

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 27 March 2004 21:26 (twenty-one years ago)

why are you hiding? I'M the one with the unsafe opinion.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 27 March 2004 21:29 (twenty-one years ago)

and for clarity's sake, I only saw the first one. And was uninterested enough by it that I just don't want to bother with the other two until...I dunno, until I have children and they have to see it or something.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 27 March 2004 21:30 (twenty-one years ago)

seven months pass...

Tom Hanks in DaVinci Code

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 04:34 (twenty years ago)

OH BOY WHAT A FUN

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 04:42 (twenty years ago)

Da Vinci Code is National Treasure 2 (which is) Angels and Demons which is Da Vinci Code 1 OMGWTF

― Remy (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 04:53 (twenty years ago)

Good lord.

I said it before and I'll say it again, this thread is GOLD.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 04:56 (twenty years ago)

wow, that national treasure looks great!

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 05:28 (twenty years ago)

i'm seeing it tomorrow night bitches!!!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 05:34 (twenty years ago)

I'd never heard of it, before.

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 05:40 (twenty years ago)

You two are freaks.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 06:12 (twenty years ago)

(it's movies like this that make me despair for my career)

― Remy (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 06:16 (twenty years ago)

cuz it's all been done?

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 06:20 (twenty years ago)

nah, I just wonder ... if that's what the populace wants to see, who's gonna wanna watch my movies about fucked-up love triangles in the south pacific?

― Remy (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 06:22 (twenty years ago)

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 06:23 (twenty years ago)

sorry.

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 06:23 (twenty years ago)

(btw remy, check out my movie-making concern's website: www.autovaud.com)

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 06:23 (twenty years ago)

National Treasure IS The Goonies

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 08:11 (twenty years ago)

Robin Williams embarrasses himself again.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Saturday, 20 November 2004 16:56 (twenty years ago)

i was sure this thread revival would be about Spanglish

― jones (actual), Saturday, 20 November 2004 18:10 (twenty years ago)

Robin Williams receives topless bukkake

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 20 November 2004 18:22 (twenty years ago)

dude you said that out loud.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 20 November 2004 18:36 (twenty years ago)

"Robin Williams embarrasses himself again. "

isn't that basically his job description?

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 20 November 2004 19:26 (twenty years ago)

Battle Royale meets Dangerous Minds.

― Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Saturday, 20 November 2004 21:01 (twenty years ago)

http://i.cnn.net/cnn/2004/HEALTH/02/06/hln.fit.dance.workout/vert.masaladance.jpg

― Girolamo Savonarola, Saturday, 20 November 2004 21:20 (twenty years ago)

two years pass...

"Ben Elton's hilarious satire on reality talent shows"

I know its more than five words, but really, just imagine how bad this must be.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 23 November 2006 12:29 (eighteen years ago)

Will Ferrell IS The Silmarillion

haha

― sean gramophone (Sean M), Thursday, 23 November 2006 12:52 (eighteen years ago)

two months pass...

Cruise and Stiller: Hardy Men

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 6 February 2007 10:47 (eighteen years ago)

Jackass Presents the Special Olympics

This one kind of came true.

― blotter Budweiser Hackeysadk (nickalicious), Tuesday, 6 February 2007 22:01 (eighteen years ago)

four years pass...

How about: Atkinson in New Bond Spoof?

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 22 August 2011 16:37 (thirteen years ago)

Saw an ad for this in the cinema recently, fart gags ahoy!

― Neil S, Monday, 22 August 2011 16:54 (thirteen years ago)

The cinema managed to loop it so I saw it twice, first time was painful, second excruciating, though the 8yr olds in the cinema were still laughing second time round.

― Neil S, Monday, 22 August 2011 16:55 (thirteen years ago)

four weeks pass...

And it's already a hit

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 19 September 2011 00:32 (thirteen years ago)

two years pass...

'Tom Hanks stars as Hollywood tackles Somalian piracy'

― Matt DC, Monday, 14 October 2013 13:31 (eleven years ago)

Sorry, should be five words. 'Tom Hanks versus Somalian pirates'

― Matt DC, Monday, 14 October 2013 13:33 (eleven years ago)

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