Kicking machines in order to Get Your Way

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So I was just down in the snack machine room in the building I work in (it's called "Vendo-land"), and I found that the machine wouldn't take my change, like the money would go straight through and drop into the change outlet. This pissed me off 'cause, you know, I wanted my damn Cheez-Its. So, after a quick glance to make sure no one was around, I gave the machine a solid boot in the area where one punches in the selection numbers. All the lights in the machine start to blink and I'm about to run away cause I think I broke it, but then they stop and it spits out this card (you can pay for snacks with special cards around here), and shows that it has a $0.75 credit on it! Score! That's exactly how much a bag of cheez-its cost! Not only that, but I pop the card in a different machine and find out that it has $4.00 more worth of credits on it. YES!
So now I'm going to go around kicking every machine I come across in hopes of more loot.

― Dan I., Monday, 14 April 2003 01:39 (twenty-two years ago)

whoa, fonz!

― di smith (lucylurex), Monday, 14 April 2003 01:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Oddly enough, Friday at work I went to the snack machine and put in 50 cents for a bag of Cheez-Its (white chaddar variety), and the machine gave me 45 cents change back. I tried it again and it did the same thing. I did it once more and ditto. I decided to stop there because I didn't want to kill the golden goose.

― nickn (nickn), Monday, 14 April 2003 05:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I regularly kick the soda machine in the laundry room because it dispenses iced tea when you hit the Coke button and I always forget this (everything else is Diet Coke or Sprite, apparently, and the same button will not always give you the same thing twice, for which I blame gnomes and maybe Boise). Unfortunately, no amount of kicking will turn iced tea into Coke.

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 14 April 2003 06:10 (twenty-two years ago)

eight months pass...

Revive!

A couple of days ago, the computer I was using was acting up, so I HIT THE MONITOR! Afterwards I realized how silly that was... I guess it was the good ol' "if the TV ain't working, hit it!" reaction.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 15 December 2003 10:50 (twenty-one years ago)

When my mobile phone stopped working and I'd tried all I could to get it running again, I decided to take this approach as obviously nothing else was working. I smacked it, threw it, headbutted it and it felt SO GOOD.

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 15 December 2003 10:59 (twenty-one years ago)

HSA is an expert in knowing exactly where to kick/hit the television/oscillator/whatever in the exact right spot to get it working again. It's astonishing.

― HRH Queen Kate (kate), Monday, 15 December 2003 11:11 (twenty-one years ago)

However, no amount of violence done to bus ticket machines will make them work or get your money back. And there was finally a bus driver capable of intelligent conversation on the 55, who explained that they can be sacked for taking fares from 'yellow' stops where the machine does not work, even though a) they'd prefer to take the fare in that case and b) it's making passengers hate THEM instead of the assholes who made the rule.

― suzy (suzy), Monday, 15 December 2003 11:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Bus ticket machines are just vile and evil. They shouldn't be kicked, they should be firebombed.

(The only good thing about bendy busses is that you can sneak onto them when the machine is broken.)

― HRH Queen Kate (kate), Monday, 15 December 2003 11:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I have used a bobby pin to extract my pound from a non-functional ticket machine.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 15 December 2003 12:50 (twenty-one years ago)

"non-functional ticket machine" = redundant, obv

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 15 December 2003 12:50 (twenty-one years ago)

I am a firm believer in the fact that you can't coddle technology. Sometimes I have to set up printers and laptops for my work, and I'll bang them against a doorframe "by accident," drop them on the table, slap them around a little bit. You have to let them know who's boss.

― NA (Nick A.), Monday, 15 December 2003 12:59 (twenty-one years ago)

My boy has an 'if it doesn't work, kick it' kind of attitude. I just tend to shout & get cross, but if it's something like a bottle of coke that I cannot open I tend to throw it in the sink, which really isn't all that constructive!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 15 December 2003 13:00 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm a notorious TV remote thrower when I'm angry at something that has happened on the tele (such as [insert highly dramatical moment from exciting sporting event here]).

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 15 December 2003 17:51 (twenty-one years ago)

I am also the master of the guitar-not-makea-no-noise hit it with your balled-up-fist and suddenly guitar-makea-the-noise again.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 15 December 2003 17:52 (twenty-one years ago)

best moment in all star wars movies (i, for no better reason than I hadn't done it in a long time, watched the first three, non-deluxe, films OUT OF SEQUENCE on the weekend): when escaping the ice planet Hoth, Han Solo smacks Milliennium Falcon.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 15 December 2003 17:54 (twenty-one years ago)

When I was in college, no matter how many times I hit the snack machine I never got head from that one girl. Obviously violence solves nothing.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 15 December 2003 18:56 (twenty-one years ago)

In the future when you kill a robot, it will feel pain. And their screams will sound like a modem.

― El Spinktor (El Spinktor), Monday, 15 December 2003 18:57 (twenty-one years ago)

You have made me long for the future in the worst way.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 15 December 2003 18:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Fax machine in the next room, I'm criogenically freezing you and waking you up when the technology exists...and then I'm gonna kick your ass you paper-jamming line-losing ink-cartridge-having-but-not-ackowledging piece of shit.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 15 December 2003 19:05 (twenty-one years ago)

If the Matrix and Terminator films have taught us anything, it is that cruel behavior towards machines will cause them to eventually rise up against humanity.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Monday, 15 December 2003 19:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Both of those movie franchises left out the mad sexing before the eventual human extinction, though. I just want to make it to that part.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 15 December 2003 19:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Until some idiot builds laser guns into fax machines, who gives a shit if they rise up against humanity?

― NA (Nick A.), Monday, 15 December 2003 19:09 (twenty-one years ago)

"OH no! You splurted ink onto my work shirt! I surrender!"

― NA (Nick A.), Monday, 15 December 2003 19:09 (twenty-one years ago)

how come no one's commented on my shocking disrespect for G. Lucas by watching the s/w movies OUT OF SEQUENCE!!!

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 15 December 2003 19:12 (twenty-one years ago)

and am thus the most badass nerd in this bizzatch!

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 15 December 2003 19:13 (twenty-one years ago)

One day the fax machine will end up eating one of your extremities and the faxes will be written in your blood! I am cautious around those things, they look sinister.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Monday, 15 December 2003 19:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Come ON! I'm like the Marilyn Manson of nerds!

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 15 December 2003 19:15 (twenty-one years ago)

FEAR ME!

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 15 December 2003 19:15 (twenty-one years ago)

please?

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 15 December 2003 19:15 (twenty-one years ago)

PC Load Letter.

― El Spinktor (El Spinktor), Monday, 15 December 2003 19:32 (twenty-one years ago)

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