Do you think I'm a bitch?

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Oh, don't flatter yourselves, I don't actually care what any of you creepy Internet people think, I'm just bored.

― jewelly (jewelly), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 22:55 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't know you well enough to say. Do you want to be thought of as a bitch?

My kiddoes call me a witch who worships the devil but I think they're just being polite.

― That Girl (thatgirl), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 22:58 (twenty-two years ago)

dang girl!

― hstencil, Tuesday, 15 April 2003 22:59 (twenty-two years ago)

this thread reminds me of that "Warm Bitch" mashup

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 23:00 (twenty-two years ago)

We already have one, jewelly, the slot's taken. You'll have to settle for being "uppity".

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 23:12 (twenty-two years ago)

the slot's taken.

indeed

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 23:18 (twenty-two years ago)

="We already have one, jewelly, the slot's taken. You'll have to settle for being "uppity".="

Uppity? How boring. Has there been any actual evil here? I'd like to be evil.

― jewelly (jewelly), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 23:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Or I could just be HTML clueless. But I'll bet that slot's taken too.

― jewelly (jewelly), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 23:20 (twenty-two years ago)

say something bitchy to me.

― gaz (gaz), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 23:26 (twenty-two years ago)

HTML clueless = all the people who keep posting images from fucking Geocities, I mean honestly.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 23:34 (twenty-two years ago)

gaz: Say something that makes me think you're worth crushing like a bug and I will.

― jewelly (jewelly), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 23:36 (twenty-two years ago)

The funny thing is I almost started this thread like a week ago myself when I misinterpreted an, um, thank you email that called me a bitch. But he explained it so I'm over it.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 23:38 (twenty-two years ago)

The funny thing is I almost started this thread like a week ago myself when I misinterpreted an, um, thank you email that called me a bitch. But he explained it so I'm over it.

And that's funny why?

― jewelly (jewelly), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 23:41 (twenty-two years ago)

(Practicing. In case the slot becomes available.)

― jewelly (jewelly), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 23:41 (twenty-two years ago)

gaz: Say something that makes me think you're worth crushing like a bug and I will

i'm not even worth crushing like a bug, mistress.

― gaz (gaz), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 23:45 (twenty-two years ago)

It's actually not funny at all, at least not in the 'ha ha' sort of way. More in the 'peculiar' sort of way. Though maybe it is 'ha ha' funny, I mean it's a bit odd to send people gifts and get emails back stating you are a bitch. That's still not 'ha ha' funny. Actually, fuck it, you can have the title, it's really kind of irritating with these people, they take everything so fucking seriously.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 23:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Crush me like a bug, I'm a berk.

― Badger (Badger), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 23:54 (twenty-two years ago)

conversation between me and an aquaintance not long ago:

ME: I'm sorry I'm always mean to you. (said in insincere voice)
HER: oh, its okay, you're just a bitch.
ME: (sincerely) wow thanks, you too!

― di smith (lucylurex), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 00:29 (twenty-two years ago)

they take everything so fucking seriously.

you can talk, you big bitch - or have i confused you with someone else....i think i have

― alli (alliok), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 01:55 (twenty-two years ago)

You're all my big bitches, *mwaaah* Why is that my new favorite thing? My god. Name theif.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 02:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally in 'Fozzy Bear: the Movie'

― James Blount (James Blount), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 02:18 (twenty-two years ago)

IT'S TOO MUCH FUNNY.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 02:31 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm up the bitch at the moment and i'm glad i called a sickie and bought two bottles of, i hate to say it, good aussie pinot noir and then spent this arvo drinking them listening to mecca normal, which got more and more maybe-disturbing as the sun got lower and lower...

― Clare (not entirely unhappy), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 03:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Name theif

"thief" - you foxy bitch - a person who steals, esp. secretly and without violence. :->

― Clare (not entirely unhappy), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 03:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Ask hstencil about how big a bitch I am.

― rosemary (rosemary), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 03:59 (twenty-two years ago)

but rosemary, IIIIIIIIIEEEEIIIII WIIIIILLLL ALLLLWAAYYYYS LOOOOVE YOOOOUUUUUUUOHHHHHHALLLLLWAAAAYYYYYYSSSSS LOOOOOOVE YOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUU!

― hstencil, Wednesday, 16 April 2003 04:00 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm a bitch i'm a lover i'm a child i'm a mother i'm a sinner i'm a saint i do not feel ashamed i'm your hell i'm your dream i'm nothing in between you know you wouldnm't want me any other way YOU ASKED FO RIT MUTHERFUCKERSZZZ

― meredith brooks (lucylurex), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 04:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I heard that shit in the bagel shop the other day.

― hstencil, Wednesday, 16 April 2003 04:02 (twenty-two years ago)

*mwahahahaha*

― di smith (lucylurex), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 04:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Dude, bagel shops are gay.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 04:09 (twenty-two years ago)

and the road to lardarsedness is paved in speciality bitchin' breads.

― Clare (not entirely unhappy), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 04:12 (twenty-two years ago)

and my bitch has me on a piss-only diet.

― Clare (not entirely unhappy), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 04:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Are you a bitch? No. Are you trying a little too hard? Yes.

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 04:15 (twenty-two years ago)

always - the word bitch brings it out in me. i'm a bitch in the real sense, ie. nasty when i wanna be and often when i don't.

― Clare (not entirely unhappy), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 04:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Let The Spark answer this question for you

The Bitch Test

― phil-two (phil-two), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 05:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Are you a bitch? No. Are you trying a little too hard? Yes.

Amen brother. I'm getting a bit sick of myself on here myself. I hate when that happens ...

― jewelly (jewelly), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 13:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I know you're a bitch, jewelly.

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 22:34 (twenty-two years ago)

six months pass...

What the fuck happened to jewelly?

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 5 November 2003 21:50 (twenty-two years ago)

She's on AIM sometimes I think but she knows we're all losers now so she doesn't bother with us.

― Bryan (Bryan), Wednesday, 5 November 2003 21:52 (twenty-two years ago)

bitch died.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Wednesday, 5 November 2003 21:52 (twenty-two years ago)

smart girl

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 5 November 2003 21:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Also it seems I am 69% bitch and the test above linked by phil has revealed this worrying statistic:

Women who like the taste of beer are more likely to cheat on their boyfriends.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 5 November 2003 21:56 (twenty-two years ago)

PBBBBT these people have obviously never met my parents

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 5 November 2003 21:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I forgot to send Jewelly a CD I promised her, I just realized. I really am a bitch :(

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 5 November 2003 21:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I am only 32% bitch

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 5 November 2003 22:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Haha I totally kick your ass in being a bitch! Booyah!! The slot truly was taken! By ME!

Maybe if you started wearing hair spray?

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 5 November 2003 22:05 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/wiltshire/going_out/films_and_tv/images/bel1.jpg

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 5 November 2003 22:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Damn you, Farrell, now I have to go out and get that movie and watch it. Like right now. Bastard.

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 5 November 2003 22:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm also apparently 40% pure!! This is my lucky day. I kiss thespark.com. More interesting statistics:

93% held hands
92% kissed
86% french kissed
74% cheated on an exam
57% had sex
53% smoked marijuana
42% cheated in a relationship
23% intentionally burned oneself
20% slept with a married man or woman
18% slept with someone without knowing his/her name

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 5 November 2003 22:10 (twenty-two years ago)

41% bitch. Were i canadian, i'd be more.

― Jay Dee Sah Mon (Kingfish), Wednesday, 5 November 2003 22:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 59 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

I'm 48% gay, which is more than the average for my gender and supposed orientation (straight male). I'm not really surprised by this. I once did a "What's your social gender?" (as opposed to biological sex) test, where the alternatives were "masculine male", "feminine male", "neutral", "masculine female", and "feminine female". My gender was feminine female! My other male friends at least reached the neutral or the masculine female category.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 6 November 2003 12:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Tuomas, is this test online? Cause I'd love to take it and see how male I come out!

(All my boyfriends have been girly men, so it'd be a laugh to see what a Big Girl HSA is.)

― Citizen Kate (kate), Thursday, 6 November 2003 12:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Sorry, it's only in Finnish, but I'm sure there are similar tests in English somewhere.

Also, The Spark is 86% sure that I'm a woman.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 6 November 2003 12:52 (twenty-two years ago)

42% Bitch, 51% Slut....I'm off to take the purity test.....

― smee (smee), Thursday, 6 November 2003 13:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Uh oh! Searching for a English language gender test, I found this, and got the following result:

Your COGIATI result value is: 170

Which means that you fall within the following category:

COGIATI classification FOUR, PROBABLE TRANSSEXUAL
What this means is that the Combined Gender Identity And Transsexuality Inventory has classified your internal gender identity to be essentially feminine, but with some masculine or androgynous traits. It is very possible that you are a candidate for a diagnosis of transsexualism. You show a strong degree of gender dysphoria. At the very least, further investigation should be undertaken. Your COGIATI score places you among the majority of those diagnosed as transsexuals, the 'late onset' tanssexual.

SUGGESTIONS FOR ACTION:

Your situation is potentially serious and indicative of a probable inborn gender conflict. It is definitely recommended that you pursue further action.

The suggestions for your circumstance are several.

1. It is recommended that you seek help from a sympathetic counselor or professional about your gender issues. It is very possible that over time they will become increasingly difficult to cope with. Early determination of what you really need and want is vital. You need to determine if you truly are transsexual. Keep in mind, thought, that many alternatives exist other than complete sexual transformation. Partial transformation and many other way of existing are available. While you are very possibly a transsexual, COGIATI has determined that this is not absolutely certain. While time is an issue, being certain is more important. Proceed with investigation of your possible transsexuality or transgenderism, but with caution.

2. Some actions may help you to define your needs more clearly. Experimenting with living full time as a woman, taking hormones for a short time under supervision, or taking testosterone suppressers to observe how you feel are all viable options. Keep in mind that while it is very likely that you might be a transsexual, it is not certain. Do not take severe or permanent actions without long thought and the help of counselors and professionals.

3. Your gender issues are real, and should not be ignored. Neither should you rush into acting on them, however powerful they may feel. You do not fit the full criterion for the rarest classification, classic transsexuality, and so should be cautious, and open to possibilities. You may yet end up undergoing transition, and the path of the transsexual may well be your salvation. Be very careful, but do not ignore your issues.

4. If you have not already, consider joining any of the thousands of groups devoted to gender expression of various kinds. There is literally a world of friends to discover who share your interests. There are also publications, vacations, and activities that would expand your gender expression.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 6 November 2003 13:23 (twenty-two years ago)

33% bitch, lower than average

― minna (minna), Thursday, 6 November 2003 13:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I guess that test is meant for people who are seriously considering at least partial sex change or living as the other sex. While I have some major issues with my gender as opposed to me sex, I don't feel like a "probable transsexual".

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 6 November 2003 13:26 (twenty-two years ago)

40% bitch, booyah!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 6 November 2003 13:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, I started to take that Cogiati test but honestly - the poor HTML and the background image put me right off.

I didn't get very far - about as far as the "dressing en femme" thing and well, I'm a girl, so that's not going to be very useful to me, is it?

It tests really annoying stereotypical things - and I happen to be a woman who is generally very good at mathematics and spacial logistics, so of course i'm going to score high on the male index. And who says only males have trouble with emotional situations? I have trouble with them just cause I'm English!

― Citizen Kate (kate), Thursday, 6 November 2003 13:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, yes, but the point of the test exactly is to reflect your gender to real-life "stereotypical" gender aggrogates, not to what you personally think is masculine/femiminine. If you feel that not "only males have trouble with emotional situations", you probably won't score perfect points in the tradional femininity scale.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 6 November 2003 13:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, what am I supposed to answer to "dressing en femme" then?

Because I dress quite androgynously usually. The only time I dress up super-girly is for sexual purposes - i.e. to get a sexual thrill, or give someone else a sexual thrill. Does that make me less female?

― Citizen Kate (kate), Thursday, 6 November 2003 13:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Def not!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 6 November 2003 13:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Bah. The Emode tests are nearly as clever as the Spark ones, which feature such questions as

"5. Would you eat chocolate-covered asphalt if it would make your crush laugh?"

from here, let us also post our favourite questions from the quizes.

― Jay Dee Sah Mon (Kingfish), Thursday, 6 November 2003 13:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I guess it just confirms what I always knew anyway, which is that I really am a man, and actually, I'm a transvestite man!

(Because often when I dress up super girly, I do just feel like a transvestite man, rather than Man, I feel like a woman.)

― Citizen Kate (kate), Thursday, 6 November 2003 13:49 (twenty-two years ago)

I am 40% bitch.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 6 November 2003 14:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Snap!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 6 November 2003 14:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Sarah is too nice to be more bitchy than me! I don't know what I did to get such a low score, I answered every question honestly.

― Nicolars (Nicole), Thursday, 6 November 2003 14:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Perhpas you're mixing up sarcastic with bitchy?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 6 November 2003 14:05 (twenty-two years ago)

It's a fine line.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 6 November 2003 14:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm 28% slutty. I'm basically a prudish bitch.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 6 November 2003 14:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm on 36% bitch.

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 6 November 2003 14:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm trying to figure out if this is NA's veiled way of saying he is sitting on Sarah's head.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 6 November 2003 14:18 (twenty-two years ago)

He wishes.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 6 November 2003 14:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I would be so tall.

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 6 November 2003 14:27 (twenty-two years ago)

14% bitch.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:11 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm surprised that you have any bitchness at all, Jel!

― Nicolars (Nicole), Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Okay, "bitchness" is probably not a word. Maybe I should have used "bitchosity".

― Nicolars (Nicole), Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:16 (twenty-two years ago)

"Bitchness" should be a word!

"Dammit, I told you to stay out of my bitchness! Now I'mma cut you!"

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:17 (twenty-two years ago)

"Ow ow ow Dr. Forrester!"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:18 (twenty-two years ago)

51% bitch

― A Girl Named Sam (thatgirl), Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:20 (twenty-two years ago)

"Of the 7,795,616 test takers so far, 28% gnawed during oral sex."

!!!!!!!!

― OUCH (nickalicious), Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:20 (twenty-two years ago)

15% bastard, and that's only coz I own a heavy metal t-shirt! I do have my evil moments nicholars!

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:22 (twenty-two years ago)

I will say I have never done that, and being the reigning bitch on this thread I condemn it.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:23 (twenty-two years ago)

but what if you were asked?

― A Girl Named Sam (thatgirl), Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:26 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah, 'gnaw' doesn't sound too great, but surely a little nibble isn't always bad?

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:27 (twenty-two years ago)

"Pretend you're a termite and I'm a delectable baseboard."

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I mean, teeth really aren't all so bad, it's the word "gnaw" that gives me shivers.

FUCKING COME ON WITH THE XPOSTS TEENY :)

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Bloody Hell! Apparently, I'm 83% dateable, these tests are flawed.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:28 (twenty-two years ago)

hahah!

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Gnaw.

― Jay Dee Sah Mon (Kingfish), Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:30 (twenty-two years ago)

A) There is such a large gaping hole between the words "gnaw" and "nibble" that I don't even know how to address any of you besides to just decide that you wanted to all make suggestive comments. this is nothing shocking!!

B) I can't imagine a more unpleasant scenario for teeth to be used in any way. Except for maybe if I found loose teeth in my food, that'd be horrible.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I didn't just want to make suggestive comments. I just don't think using teeth in this scenario is that bizarre or neccessarily unplesant. Granted "gnaw" conjures up images of animals chewing on bone so that's not the best word. . .

― A Girl Named Sam (thatgirl), Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:38 (twenty-two years ago)

(note: I'm not saying that if you personally want to gnash on some dude's private area that you shouldn't do it)

xpost but sam that's the point! The question wasn't about love bites or nibbling or whatever (which I still think is totally uncalled for in that area but I'm sure people enjoy it) but specifically about GNAWING ie real biting! That's a really horrible thing to do unless you are in a situation where it'd be necessary to do to extract yourself from it, and I specifically remember the question and being like god that really IS a horrible thing to do.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:40 (twenty-two years ago)

The question I recall answering yes to was much less explicitly about gnawing than that - it was more like "During oral sex have you ever used your teeth" or "Have you ever bitten your partner during oral sex".

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 6 November 2003 19:33 (twenty-two years ago)

I love question 47: "Are you from Canada, you bitch?"

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 6 November 2003 20:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I wonder if the person who made up the test had met me first?

― Bryan (Bryan), Thursday, 6 November 2003 20:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I think the testmaker was bitter over an affair gone bad with Bryan Adams.

― Nicolars (Nicole), Thursday, 6 November 2003 20:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm only 36% bitch. Apparently, my sharp tongue isn't enough to hide my halo.

(shrug) Fuck it....technology is usually wrong.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 6 November 2003 21:05 (twenty-two years ago)

i thought my number was rather low too

― A Girl Named Sam (thatgirl), Thursday, 6 November 2003 22:58 (twenty-two years ago)

22% bitch, which is accurate, I think. Sometime's I'm far too understanding for my own good.

I'm a bit scared about the part where it says "52% can use a gun", though. Americans...

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 7 November 2003 08:02 (twenty-two years ago)

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