Adjective infested food

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Personal bugbear. The number of spurious adjectives, particularly of the past participle for, that get attached to food.

Some examples from sainsbury's:

Hammer Broken Handmade Farmhouse Toffee.
Frecnh Cocoa Dusted Chocolate Truffles

If I were to go on like that, last night I had:

Hand formed patties of finest steak mince, garnished with alpine emmanthal, served in a white batch roll.

Last night I made myself cheese burgers.

At least something like freshly squeezed orange juice means something, although it means that the new definition of fresh is up to 20 days old and lightly pasteurised.

Anyway, this is the thread for ridiculous food descriptions.

― Ed (dali), Thursday, 17 April 2003 07:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Maryland Beaten Biscuits are lovely, and generally do need to be made with a hammer or rock.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Thursday, 17 April 2003 08:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Italian-style ice cream, American-style burgers, Mexican-style beans.

― Madchen (Madchen), Thursday, 17 April 2003 09:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Mrs. Smith's Rather Special Lemon Curd.

I mean... is it Special, or is it Rather Special? How can something be *Rather* Special? It's either special or it's not!

― kate, Thursday, 17 April 2003 09:04 (twenty-two years ago)

But italian style ice cream is different from REAL ice cream, right?

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 17 April 2003 09:07 (twenty-two years ago)

If I ever make beer, it will be called "Masonic Boom's Rather Special Brew".

― kate, Thursday, 17 April 2003 09:14 (twenty-two years ago)

italian ice cream is boiled = difference

― thuddd (thuddd), Thursday, 17 April 2003 09:16 (twenty-two years ago)

It's just a reference to where it's made. Even if it's made by Italians using Italian ingredients and Italian equipment, if the factory's in Slough, it can't be called Italian.

― Madchen (Madchen), Thursday, 17 April 2003 09:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Which kind of makes sense, I suppose. But I still don't like it.

Contrast with how you can buy Canadian cheddar, not Canadian, cheddar-style cheese.

― Madchen (Madchen), Thursday, 17 April 2003 09:18 (twenty-two years ago)

boiling breaks down some of the fats so its harder for the fats to crystalise = softer ice cream

― Ed (dali), Thursday, 17 April 2003 09:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Mrs Smith's Confirmed Bachelor Lemon Curd

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 17 April 2003 11:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Reminds me of this Onion piece, back whent hey were still good:

http://216.239.33.100/search?q=cache:BNLP8H0smusC:www.theonion.com/onion3625/tgi_fridays.html+the+onion+tgi+fridays&hl=en&ie=UTF-8

"My personal fave, though, is the Five-Alarm Chili-Pepper Quesadillas with a side of Sesame-Seed-Grilled Tostadas and Margarita-Flavored Monterey Jack Dip."

Chain restaurants are always bad about this.

― fletrejet, Thursday, 17 April 2003 11:10 (twenty-two years ago)

why BIScuits eh? they shd just say "cuits", the ponces

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 17 April 2003 11:12 (twenty-two years ago)

because they should be twice baked old boy

― chris (chris), Thursday, 17 April 2003 11:13 (twenty-two years ago)

"pan-fried". like, what the fuck? how else do you fry vegetables? depp fat fry em? the rule of thumb is, wherever theres any description of ohw they have been cooked, dont eat it.

― ambrose (ambrose), Thursday, 17 April 2003 12:17 (twenty-two years ago)

"pan-fried". like, what the fuck? how else do you fry vegetables? depp fat fry em?

well, you answered your own question here, didn't you? Mind you, I'm not sure how tasty Johnnie Depp's fat would be.

― chris (chris), Thursday, 17 April 2003 12:19 (twenty-two years ago)

vegetable tempura = deep fried vegetable.

― fletrejet, Thursday, 17 April 2003 12:24 (twenty-two years ago)

blimey that sounds mingin....just give away my lack of culinary knowledge as ed will certify

― ambrose (ambrose), Thursday, 17 April 2003 13:57 (twenty-two years ago)

When did Italian Ice become Italian Water Ice? That's what I want to know.

― rosemary (rosemary), Thursday, 17 April 2003 14:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Creamery butter to thread!

― Paul Eater (eater), Thursday, 17 April 2003 14:47 (twenty-two years ago)

IS over-naming still the trend at retaurants that cater to the self-conscious nouveau riche ?

what is most unbearable to me are the names that are given to coffee drinks, especially the sizes. i drank a lot of coffee (espresso) in italy and i never used any of the terminology developed by starbucks, etc.

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Thursday, 17 April 2003 14:49 (twenty-two years ago)

The italian way is to have lots of small coffees that taste like coffee rather than buckets of coffee flavoured milk. I miss living in Italy. I miss the Uni bar and its 900 lire cup of coffee that was really quite good.

― Ed (dali), Thursday, 17 April 2003 15:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Ed is OTM. When I went to France and Spain, even the regular coffee I had at some ho-hum cafe for breakfast was about 100x better than the "gourmet" shit in the US.

One of the few advantages of living in central Florida are good $0.50 expresso's at Cuban restaurants.

― fletrejet, Thursday, 17 April 2003 16:07 (twenty-two years ago)

The french can't make coffee for toffee.

― Ed (dali), Thursday, 17 April 2003 16:12 (twenty-two years ago)

It must take a long time to break up all that toffee in the factory with the flimsy little toffee hammers one sees around these days.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 17 April 2003 16:34 (twenty-two years ago)

The worst is when the things you expect to be ingredients are instead adjectives modifying (though not enough) rather less appealing things. Favourite example, on a frozen pizza my wife bought: "mozarella-style cheese analogue". You want the cheese to be a noun, not an adjective. And you'd rather have mozarella than mozarellaish.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 17 April 2003 17:52 (twenty-two years ago)

And "analogue" is never to be eaten. Heard, maybe, or taped, but never eaten.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Thursday, 17 April 2003 17:56 (twenty-two years ago)

*slurp* sorry, what?

― a coprophiliac (tracerhand), Thursday, 17 April 2003 18:08 (twenty-two years ago)

As shameful as it is, whenever I get a latte from Starbucks I do specify Extra Hot and No Foam. But that does tend to steer the latte closer to how you'd normally get it from a better vendor.

― Aaron A., Friday, 18 April 2003 02:07 (twenty-two years ago)

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