Memorable things strangers have said to you

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Female patient in psychiatric unit, when I was visiting a friend (to friend, but looking at me): "This is a boy or a girl?"

Late 30s woman in Samuel Pepys pub, Hackney, as she left : "You're too pretty for your own good"

I wasn't sure if the latter was some kind of coded threat.

― Nick, Saturday, 8 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Bloke running after me when I got of a bus and tapping me on shoulder: "Excuse me... Are you gay?"

Probably not the best chat up line.

Bloke after telling me I was great at football when I was a kid and that I have to play for his team after seeing me playing in a Metropolitan police 5-a-side football tournament, then finding out as I was in the wrong age catagory: "Sorry son you're too old."

Even when I was young I was too old.

― martin, Saturday, 8 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"Have people ever hit your face? Oh no, you're a girl." I am far too snidy. Another guy said I was very feisty. A compliment for sure.
A waitress:"So what will the boy have?"
A lot of people ask me if I have finished high school yet. Uh yeah, about ten years ago.

― nathalie, Saturday, 8 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Drunken guy in chinese take away: "eh.....you know......you look really like Jamie Oliver, or eh..........Ted Kennedy" proceeds to have debate with drunken mates loudly enough for me to want to cover my face from the rest of the people in there who clearly wanted to make up their own minds. I didn't thank him for either comparison.

Bizarre girl on Henry Street Dublin: "I'd just like to say I think you're cool" Scary scary stuff. I'm still trying to tell if there was sarcasm there.

― Ronan, Saturday, 8 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Drunken crusty on Weston Super-Mare seafront to me: "DON'T CHANGE YER HEAD! DON'T CHANGE YER HEAD!"

Also, some guy in my college, I'm not sure if he was a student or not, but he came up to me and started gabbering very fast and very slurred, most of it I couldn't understand but I picked up a few phrases such as "They're shitting themselves, I do all the work around here." I was quite scared.

Has anyone also had strangers doing odd and memorable things to them as well? Here's an example: In the Science Museum, Kensington, London, around about 1986, on a school trip. We were all walking through a corridor somewhere when we came across an old woman with a basket full of novelty rubbers*. She turned to me as I passed her, and said, "Here you go, dear", and handed me a rubber that was in the shape and printed design of a packet of Persil. It had been used more than once.

* = I mean erasers, not condoms, for you people on the other side of the Atlantic.

― Croooooow, Saturday, 8 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

1st person I saw when I got off the train at 125th (? I think) (Harlem, anyway) - "Go home".

― duane, Saturday, 8 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Once at about 6 in the a.m. walking across a football field I saw a 12 string guitar lying on the ground. There was nobody around. I walked over & picked it up & an Asian man materialised behind me. I said, Is this yours? He ignored the qn. & asked me if I had accepted Jesus Christ as etc etc. I don't remember what I said but he said he could tell I was going thru difficulties in my life & he would pray for me. Then he placed his hand on my arm & (the memorable-thing- said-to-me-by-a-stranger part) commenced to SPEAK IN TONGUES. A beautiful slew of glossolalia. It was fucking spooky as all shit!
(He gave me the guitar! I can't even play gtr so I sold it to a mate of mine for 20 bucks but it got mysteriously stolen before he paid for it so I said never mind, forget it. It was like we'd collectively hallucinated the whole thing.)

― duane, Saturday, 8 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

once i was standing at the bus stop and a 10 year old boy came up to me and started rapping "Ride With Me" by Nelly at me. it brightened my day.

― di, Sunday, 9 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

On a bus going to Farringdon. Had reached Elephant and Castle. Small child enquires if I would like to feel his head.

"It's sweaty"!

Mother proceeds to damn a hat on his head and apologise.

I don't know if I would have stroked it or not.

― Sarah, Sunday, 9 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Damn? I meant "jam". I am feverish.

― Sarah, Sunday, 9 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

A drunk Swede tousled my hair on the subway yesterday. I don't know what he said though other than "mumble mumble"

The day before that a big puffy-jacket dude asked me for a cigarette on a deserted street at 3am. I gave him a Tareyton and he asked "you skeered?" I told him I'd rather fight than switch.

― Tracer Hand, Sunday, 9 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

A man once chased me down the street in Chelsea, shouting, "Wait! Wait!" I stop finally, against better judgement. "I just needed to tell you, you look like Jane Asher." Um. Okay.

On the subway some man once sang "The Most Beautiful Girl In The World" at me and my friend.

And a 5 year old boy on a train was singing "Bootylicious" to all of us, he asked me if I was ready for his jelly. Then he told his moms that they were definitely not ready. It was pretty good.

― Ally, Sunday, 9 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

somebody at an exhibition opening asked me "what the hell is up with your eyes?". I have very dark blue eyes and abnormally large pupils. Sometimes it looks like my eyes are just big black puddles. He made me feel like a freak.

― rainy, Sunday, 9 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

That sounds beautiful, though. I want your eyes.

― Melissa W, Sunday, 9 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

thank you! You are clearly better at the art of compliments than he was.

― rainy, Monday, 10 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I was walking to the tube station one morning and a bloke was walking towards me and said something that sounded uncannily like 'Hey, Ass Goddess'. I am still puzzling over this one as 1. it is a very odd thing to say and 2. I was walking towards him so how could he tell but I really cannot decide what he might have said that sounded similar.

Oh and on Saturday night a drunken girl shouted 'Lovely hair' at me when really it was looking quite average.

― Emma, Monday, 10 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Emma, I'm not rising to the bait.

― Nick, Monday, 10 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'm sure I have absolutely no idea what you are on about.

I had washed my hair earlier in the day, maybe that was it. If I'd been walking down the street with dirty hair she wouldn't have said it.

― Emma, Monday, 10 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

In Leeds fish market in the early 90s, a child kicked a stray fish carcass at me and a friend of mine, with the words "Get some skin!"

No idea what this meant, but "Get some skin!" became a much-loved and much-overused phrase for a while.

― Tim, Monday, 10 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

As in "Give me some skin" perhaps?

― Nick, Monday, 10 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Give me a bag of chips, oh and give me some skin please?

― Ronan, Monday, 10 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh oh : last time I was in NYC, a slim well-dressed black man took one look at me as I passed him, and yelled "666!"

― mark s, Monday, 10 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Nick and Ronan, I have no idea what either of you mean. Sorry.

― Tim, Monday, 10 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Tim, it is what burn victims sometimes say.

― Emma, Monday, 10 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Or Skunk Anansie fans, who deserve to be burn victims.

― Ronan, Monday, 10 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Tim - "Give me some skin" is something kids in my school used to say when asking one to do one of those palm-on-palm slapping signs of approval/delight. I assumed it orginated in adult afro-carribean culture, but I could be wrong on this point.

― Nick, Monday, 10 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You're showing your age now Nick, the reason I didnt understand you was because nowadays we say "Cut me some skin". When I say we, I mean noone really, but thats the only form of the phrase I've seen used.

― Ronan, Monday, 10 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Nick, I see, but surely kicking a dead fish in someone's direction is a very different proposition to proffering the outstretched hand of friendship in (possibly misunderstood) greeting? Particularly since he kicked the fish, shouted the shout then scarpered (which you didn't know about, obviously).

― Tim, Monday, 10 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Today coming back from the largest corn maze in alberta i was at some greasy spoon. I was using this wash room and this 6 year old was beside me. He looked over at my head and said "Does it grow like that" I had to disappoint him . He then asked me how i did it . I told him and he said " I am going to tell my mom i want one !" I hope he did .

― anthony, Monday, 10 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

surely kicking a dead fish in someone's direction is a very different proposition to proffering the outstretched hand of friendship in (possibly misunderstood) greeting?

Tim, it is. My suggestion is that they were indulging in clever worldplay.

― Nick, Monday, 10 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

wordplay

― Nick, Monday, 10 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

taking sides: wordplay vs worldplay

― mark s, Monday, 10 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

www.worldplay.com = online backgammon
www.wordplay.com = Newfoundland and Labrador Travel & Tourism site

I therefore declare that by the power of internet science, worldplay is best.

― Nick, Monday, 10 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The fact that he kicked a fish at you before whouting "Get some skin!" leads me to believe that this child was telling you to fuck yourself. I hope you chased the little fucker down.

― Dan Perry, Monday, 10 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I must say I find Dan's interpretation of the incident more plausible than Nick's "clever wordplay" theory.

Dan, I think my reaction was to look a little confused and then laugh. Sorry.

― Tim, Monday, 10 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I just got off the phone...the it rang again..."who'se been on the phone?" some posh sounding git asked quite kurtly..."what?" "who'se been on the phone, is Simom there?"...honestly, the rudeness of wrong numbers!

― jel, Monday, 10 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Labrador Travel & Tourism has, presumably, picked up quite a bit since the introduction of pet passports.

Tramp at the 29 bus stop in Trafalgar Square: "I never knew love before... until now. LAURYN HILL, LAURYN HILL, bwah bwah bwah bwah"

Italian youth in Milan: "Compliments to your mother", presumably for having produced such a fine specimen of womanhood.

― Madchen, Monday, 10 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

We never spoke again, but I'd like to add that she wore a top hat on several occasions.

― Mandee Wright, Wednesday, 12 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Today a total stranger yelled at me. It sounded like, "I know where you live! I'm going to eat your house!"

― maria, Wednesday, 12 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

That was no stranger, it was Hanle y.

― Ally, Wednesday, 12 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

two years pass...

Tonight at 3am, Brixton: "Hey bruv. Hey BRUV."

Me: "Mmm?"

"You don't happen to have another cigarette, do you?"

"Of course" *digs for cigarette*

"Do you listen to Sting?"

"What?"

"Do you know this singer, this guy, Sting?"

"Of course"

"Do you know George Michael?"

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 8 May 2004 01:45 (twenty-one years ago)

"hey i saw you yesterday! don't you have a house?" homeless man, two days ago

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 8 May 2004 01:53 (twenty-one years ago)

On a street corner in downtown Denver a few years back, I heard boy's voice behind me politely ask, "Excuse me, sir, may I ask you a question?"

I turn around, and it's a six-year-old tyke.

"Yes?"

"Do you know where you're going to go when you die?"

Kid was clutching a Bible. I don't recall what I said in reply, but I never went to Denver again.

― m.e.a. (m.e.a.), Saturday, 8 May 2004 01:58 (twenty-one years ago)

earlier in the week the man who owns my favorite coffee place said, "you look very lost in translation." i didn't ask him what he meant, although i wish i had. huh?

― lauren (laurenp), Saturday, 8 May 2004 02:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I think it means you've got a nice ass.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Saturday, 8 May 2004 02:07 (twenty-one years ago)

A homeless woman once approached me and said "you gotta stop lyin' to people"

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Saturday, 8 May 2004 02:08 (twenty-one years ago)

oh, right. i forgot all about the dancing around on the counter in my underwear thing.

xpost

― lauren (laurenp), Saturday, 8 May 2004 02:09 (twenty-one years ago)

My favorite random stranger story happened to a friend of a friend, though. She was in the grocery and a little girl ran up to her and sang: "Rainbow mountain unicorn lady!" and then ran off.

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Saturday, 8 May 2004 02:11 (twenty-one years ago)

so, are you chief babysitter today?
when I was with my 2 yr old son in a store.
* hell do I look too old / nothing like a mother / nothing like my son / what??? *

― donna (donna), Saturday, 8 May 2004 02:25 (twenty-one years ago)

this thread separates the people who don't actually ever leave the house from the people who're just frontin' like they never leave the house

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Saturday, 8 May 2004 02:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 71 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

"C'mon, you can cook anything you want!" Not sold, dude, not sold.

Awesome. What IS it with the figures of food speech? I mean, duh, I understand the appeal, but you know, fruit (for instance) is kind of sexy. Conceivably. Comparing my ass to steak on a plate is less...immediately comprehensible. Also cf "I could eat you up like hot food." Haha WHAT?!

― Laurel (Laurel), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 18:59 (nineteen years ago)

Ha, maybe we should start a "Memorable things strangers have yelled at you in your skeevy neighborhood thread."

― Laura H. (laurah), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 19:01 (nineteen years ago)

Also cf "I could eat you up like hot food." Haha WHAT?!

= "Very carefully."

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 19:02 (nineteen years ago)

laurel, your ass is PORK CHOPS not STEAK

― Fight the Real Enemy -- Tasti D-Lite (ex machina), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 19:04 (nineteen years ago)

That is so not better. Also, shut up; I don't want to know what ANYONE ELSE WHO I'M NOT SLEEPING WITH thinks about my ass. Bad body image day.

― Laurel (Laurel), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 19:05 (nineteen years ago)

"You should be nicer to your mother!" from a woman carrying a vacuum cleaner, walking down the street.

A full on hug and warm greeting from an old hippie man on a park bench. I was with another person, and assumed that he knew the dude; he assumed I knew the dude. It was about 10 minutes of stuff like "a little boy and little girl should be president together, and they should put windmills on all the telephone poles."

Drunk homeless veteran: "Come closer, I want to shake your hand. You're the prettiest woman I've seen all day."

― patita (patita), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 20:52 (nineteen years ago)

Aboriginal man on a bike points at me (riding my bike) and says, "fucking hippies on bikes!"...I laughed for a block or so.

― Freud Junior (Freud Junior), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 01:19 (nineteen years ago)

About five years ago was walking to school - and in a rather bad mood - when a homeless dude asks me for a smoke. As I'm handing it too him he looks at my portfolio case and proceeds to give me the following speech:

"So you're on your way to school; that's good - keep at it. You know, if you work hard and don't give up anything you want can be yours. Don't screw it up like me, you're young and so much in life is ahead of you and yours for the taking so long as you keep at this and give it your best. You can do great things. Thanks for the smoke."

No, thank you mr crazy homeless person for showing me the way.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 02:02 (nineteen years ago)

A few years back, when I lived in India I went to a swimming pool. I was 12 or 13 and this guy about my age comes up to me and starts talking. Two to three minutes later, he pauses, stares at my face and out of the nowhere asks me how come I have blue eyes. Then, he just kept staring at me presumably expecting an answer, whereas I didn't have a clue as to what I should tell him.

Another time, still in India, I was with my brother on the street. A guy comes up to uss, asks us if we'd like to be "underwear models" and leaves. That was rather creepy, especially since I was about 11 y.o. and my brother was 9 y.o.

― Jibé (Jibé), Wednesday, 19 April 2006 05:21 (nineteen years ago)

ten months pass...

"you know, i'm very secure in my sexuality. do you understand what i am saying? i know it can be hard to understand my accent*... you know, i'm very secure in my sexuality. you're a very attractive man. are these ladies with you? heh heh heh... they all want to suck your balls and lick your asshole at the same time!" - an, um, interesting compliment from a man that was missing his two front teeth (in addition to being totally filthy) and drinking a yuengling in harrisburg, pa, about two years ago

* i had no trouble understanding what he was saying.

― spastic heritage, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 01:04 (eighteen years ago)

"Do you motherfuckers want a doughnut?" (Yes, we did.)

― HI DERE, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 01:06 (eighteen years ago)

A guy comes up to uss, asks us if we'd like to be "underwear models" and leaves.

When I was 9 or so, I participated in a routine product-research phone poll about, like, apparel -- specifically what people slept in. Except that around the fourth or fifth question, even a 9-year-old could figure out the guy on the other end was masturbating.

― nabisco, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 01:21 (eighteen years ago)

http://db.rambleschmack.net/images/posts/so_that_was_the_worst_possible_outcome/do_not_want.jpg

― HI DERE, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 01:24 (eighteen years ago)

"Do you motherfuckers want a doughnut?" (Yes, we did.)

LOL, a stranger said this to you?

― Hard like armour, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 01:26 (eighteen years ago)

Yes! It was awesome.

― HI DERE, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 01:27 (eighteen years ago)

I'd be a bit wary of random donut peddlers on the street.

― Hard like armour, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 01:35 (eighteen years ago)

It was at a nightclub; one of the bands after us had extra.

― HI DERE, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 02:01 (eighteen years ago)

two guys at the LCD soundystem gig tapped me on the shoulder and shouted "mourinho! mourinho!" i was flattered!

― jed_, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 03:50 (eighteen years ago)

Wow, I was really mistaken about what bands get up to backstage. I thought it would be all bad ass bourbon/tequila drinking, TV smashing and naked romping with groupies. I certainly didn’t think it would involve rampant donut sharing.

― Hard like armour, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 03:58 (eighteen years ago)

"I'm going to read you your rights now..."

― milo z, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 04:23 (eighteen years ago)

Italian guy at Piazza Navona: "Ooh, I like you, you look like cheese!"
Crazy woman at the train station, while poking me with her very long long and sharp nails: "you're the devil's daughter, the devil's daughter"

― Gaia1981, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 07:14 (eighteen years ago)

A black man once referred to me and another fellow at the mall with the 'n' word.
I wasn't sure how to tell the story to others, because it was the inlfection that really got me, and what do I do? make a beeping sound?

― Windy G Moisture, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 07:48 (eighteen years ago)

I went to a gig in San Francisco with some friends of mine, and I was helping the band by watching their gear while they unloaded it. A couple of kids were circling the van on their bikes, and as the guys took the last of the gear out of the van, one of the kids came over to me and said "do you have a gun?" When I said "no," he shouted back over to his friend, "see man, I told you she didn't have a gun!"

― accentmonkey, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 08:07 (eighteen years ago)

walking through santa barbara with my now-wife sometime in october. she was wearing a pointy witch hat she had just bought at a toy store; car slowly drives by with the window open and the driver shouts at the top of his lungs:

"YOU'RE WEARING A WITCH HAT!!!"

and he kept on driving by. (the story would be better if she in fact weren't wearing one, i know.)

― GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 08:23 (eighteen years ago)

Once a group of kids(who happened to be black, don't know if that matters) got on an elevator with my friends and me.
One of them was singing some nonsense..GOD I wish I could remember it! We used it as an inside joke for years...
In any case we were all goig from the fourth to the first floor in the Mall of America, and that's not a real fast trip.
He finishes his 'song' and then turns towards me and jumps towards me as if to bump chests, but stops short and says "BOOOM!!!" at the top of his lungs.

― Windy G Moisture, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 08:27 (eighteen years ago)

"my wife, she is too heavy"
Said by an eastern European man who got into the life next to us with said wife. Their extra weight meant the life was overloaded and couldn't decend any further so he made her get out and take the steps while he stayed in the life. he then turned to us and said it. he was hardly a skinny chap himself.

― Kellid, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 09:14 (eighteen years ago)

"I one, you one, us to-gether"

Estonian gay man trying to chat me up at the Olde Hansa restaurant in Tallinn.

― Grandpont Genie, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 09:19 (eighteen years ago)

A while ago, I was sitting with some friends at the back of a pub when a woman got me in her sights, ran the length of the room, grabbed my shoulders and violently shook me for about five seconds before shrieking "I'M SHOCKING YOU LIKE YOU HAVE SHOCKED ME". I was indeed shocked. Then she said "Now I need a drink". "Take mine", I said, and she downed what was left and walked off.

― Alba, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 11:38 (eighteen years ago)

"piggyback?"

― blueski, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 11:42 (eighteen years ago)

Estonian gay man trying to chat me up at the Olde Hansa restaurant in Tallinn.

Lucky he didn't get his claws into you.

― Ronan, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 11:57 (eighteen years ago)

When I was 15, I was sitting in a pub (The Crown in Worcester, not there any more, I think it's a Wetherspoons or something) when a woman came up to me and started demanding I return her sausages. She then went up to the bar and told the bar staff I'd stolen her walkman. They just told her to leave, I guess she'd been in before. So she went outside and started yelling at me through the window for a bit. I had no idea what to do, it was bizarre and sad at the same time. She went away eventually.

― Colonel Poo, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 12:38 (eighteen years ago)

"It's a sign!"

Peppy American woman (I was going to use hate-speech there) to me last week, when I failed to get a match lit on the street for my cig. They were shitty matches, lady, that's all.

― That one guy that quit, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 12:41 (eighteen years ago)

STOP SMOKING

― blueski, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 12:44 (eighteen years ago)

it looks cool and it keeps me trim and it goes well well booze.

― That one guy that quit, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 12:45 (eighteen years ago)

'with', i got excited about booze.

― That one guy that quit, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 12:46 (eighteen years ago)

I love this thread!

Years ago while waiting for Gravel Puzzleworth outside WH Smith in Kings Cross at about 11pm, a very drunk tramp started ranting about how beautiful I was and how, if only he wasn't a drunken tramp, he'd take me out to all the best restaurants and treat me like a queen.

― marianna lcl, Wednesday, 14 March 2007 18:36 (eighteen years ago)

not sure if this counts as said: written on a box of flowers my boyfriend had sent "You're so lucky someone loves you."

In a bar: An older man said I struck him like a bolt of lightening and asked me to marry him. He took me to the front door, showed me an 18-wheeler parked outside and said he owned it and another just like it. "That can be all yours." he then gave me his international pager number in case I ever changed my mind.

― Ms Misery, Wednesday, 14 March 2007 18:49 (eighteen years ago)

A woman in a pancake house in Vancouver once told me I had a very pretty face.

― accentmonkey, Wednesday, 14 March 2007 19:22 (eighteen years ago)

Columbia University/Barnard have many strange people hanging around, some of whom are not employed or enrolled.
One crazy guy approached me in the library and said: "Take a tower to the shower so I can wash your hair."
of course, this was many years ago and security is probably increased these days.
He was definitely a homeless person, mentally ill, who found some warmth and comfort in the library.
But I have never forgotten his message!

― aimurchie, Wednesday, 14 March 2007 19:59 (eighteen years ago)

Sorry Yana!

At my grandad's funeral, someone told me that when you couldn't touch your nose with your finger blindfolded, you'd lost touch with the common people.

― Gravel Puzzleworth, Wednesday, 14 March 2007 20:31 (eighteen years ago)

A while back, the first day of class in Grade 11.. a girl turns around in her seat, looks at me, looks around at the class, and says to me: "You know, out of everyone's in the class, I like your nose the best."
We never spoke again, but I'd like to add that she wore a top hat on several occasions.

Mandee Wright on Wednesday, 12 September 2001 00:00 (5 years ago)

update on top hat girl: she now works at urban outfitters at the mall, she hasn't said anything about my nose yet, and she doesn't wear a top hat anymore it seems, she dresses like a trendy asshole hipster.

― homosexual II, Wednesday, 14 March 2007 20:32 (eighteen years ago)

― Alba, Wednesday, 14 March 2007 20:33 (eighteen years ago)

btw,Mandee -- yr nose is v v pretty!

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude ‫茄蕃‪, Wednesday, 14 March 2007 20:59 (eighteen years ago)

I was just getting lunch and this guy who looked like a gone-to-seed Mr. Clean dressed up as Mullah Omar told me a long, sorrowful, and hopefully totally fake story that started with how he was getting married for the first time (at age 52), and then proceeded to how his first wife (??), while pregnant with their daughter, was killed by a drunk cab driver, some three decades ago, and how he'd had a gun when this happened, and then -- after a bunch of really tense diversionary scene-setting about the pregnancy and his brother-in-law -- how he waited until police briefly left the drunk driver unattended in a squad car and ran over and murdered him with three bullets to the head. After that he burned down his apartment, nearly killing 12 other families. "I regret that," he said. He says he only got 12 months' probation based on an insanity finding.

Anyway he was really nice and friendly. I don't know if I'll eat at that place again.

― nabisco, Wednesday, 14 March 2007 21:09 (eighteen years ago)

P.S. I'm 90% convinced I'll be watching Law & Order one day and see the source of this whole scenario.

― nabisco, Wednesday, 14 March 2007 21:10 (eighteen years ago)

thanks, but my nose is sort of not very attractive, and big and porous. :)

― homosexual II, Wednesday, 14 March 2007 22:18 (eighteen years ago)

wtf

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude ‫茄蕃‪, Wednesday, 14 March 2007 22:22 (eighteen years ago)

what perfect timing for the revival of this thread!

the weather was really nice today and so I wasn't wearing a jacket. I suppose that others still felt the weather required one though, because while walking past a stranger he asked me "Where's your jacket?" I told him it was in my backpack, but he immediately had more pressing questions to ask. "Are you Irish or Scottish?" I told him I was neither, but since there is some red hair in my beard (and I have no idea where that comes from either!) he told me that I had to be Irish or Scottish. So he quizzed me on where all my relatives were from, determined to find a link to Scotland or Ireland.

After this he asked what I was listening to. "The La's," I said, and he asked who they were. I started saying that they were a British band from the '90s and he goes "Aha! British!" (apparently my fondness of the La's explained the red hair in my beard). He then asked me why I wasn't listening to older music and proceeded to explain to me the virtues of a list of '50s musicians (You should listen to Buddy Holly, Elvis Presley, Otis Redding, and so forth) with a particular fixation on Clyde McPhatter. Remembering the "day the music died", he continued: "oh, and The Big Bopper, and, er, who were the other two who died in the plane crash?" "Richie Valens?" I offered. He was excited that I knew that, and then was trying to think of the third one ("the big one") when it became apparent that he had a less talkative friend standing somewhat near, who came up with the answer: "Buddy Holly!" "That's it!"

I weakly told him "that was the very first person you mentioned" but I don't think he realized.

Anyway, the BEST part is that he immediately realized after this that I looked exactly like a guy on TV, but he couldn't remember his name. But he was really excited about this, he kept saying "I mean, holy SHIT! You look exactly like him!" And he asked his friend "Don't you think he looks exactly like him?" and the friend agreed even though he most likely had no idea who he was talking about. And then he kind of remembered: "it's... Green something." And his friend suggested "Tom Green?", but I had already realized who he meant but I was so stunned, so it took me a while to venture: "you... you don't mean RED GREEN*, do you?" "YES!" And I immediately broke out in laughter, but the best was yet to come. See, I can actually sort of see why he might say I look like him, despite the obvious age difference. But he added: "and you sound just like him too!" and I entered a whole new world of giggling.

That guy was a real treat. Made today much more exciting.

*you might need to be Canadian to know who this is

― aaron d.g., Thursday, 15 March 2007 01:01 (eighteen years ago)

someone with an unfamiliar name just sent me an e-mail with the subject line "you're so cool."

it was spam.

damn.

― get bent, Thursday, 15 March 2007 01:14 (eighteen years ago)

a man by the name of "Chippy" was talking with me on the street and said, "You know, gay as a blue jay?" Then he opened his eyes really wide in a funny way and then laughed. But then he thought that i hadn't seen this little joke he was making, so he made me stop walking and watch him do it again.

he was really the nicest and kindest alcoholic gay homeless man i've ever met. always glad i gave him $5.... then again, i talked to him for almost an hour.

― the table is the table, Thursday, 15 March 2007 01:27 (eighteen years ago)

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