Harry Knowles : Cretin or Critic?

"I like everything! Except the stuff I don't like!"

Yeah.

And the lengths he will go -- in a review peppered with run-on sentences, pointless tangents about fans he met at a premiere and the preferred brand of shoe of other AICN folks, and belabored left-field comparisons to Preston Sturges, Buster Keaton, and Akira Kurosawa -- to convince people that Another Karate Kid is not only the best Karate Kid movie but the best movie featuring either karate or kids, and that we should be grateful for a movie that prepared Hilary Swank for Boys Don't Cry ...

Well, he's a dork, and just the fact that his writing doesn't seem to have improved any over the years keeps him from being an entertaining dork.

http://blogs.indiewire.com/mattdentler/archives/GermanKnowles.jpg

I've seen pics before, but I'm still hit with WOW everytime.

Here's a classic review he wrote for Blade 2 awhile back.

I'm pretty sure that even if I'd never heard of or read a word he wrote, and even if he wasn't severely and sadly fat, and even if he had never made the grave personal decisions of growing long hair in spite of impending baldness or growing a neck beard -- even if I knew NONE OF THAT, that shirt would still make me hate him.

You'd hate him for being severely and sadly fat?

OMG no! Most everything about the man inspires pity in even the coldest heart. But then there's that shirt.

omg that review

This is going to sound awful odd coming from a kenan, but I can't read that review. It icks me out. I think it's that "I believe Guillermo Del Toro eats pussy better than any man alive" sounds to me like "Hi, I'm I'm an internet celebrity! Today, I will try desperately to create a meme among people who read me a lot. Hoho boy! Won't they talk about this one! Whooo boy, I'm really going over the top on this one! HEY HEY! CHECK ME OUT!"

That's so... gross.

What's with this dude's ego? I hadn't been on his site in years and he's still having people make animated .gifs that always, without failure, feature only him.

who else is he supposed to commission people to make gifs about?

cunga

ain't it cunga

His site just looks dated now, it's still pretty 1999.

He is one of the only people I have encountered online that truly belong in the "Interweb Mentalist" category. Scary.

I can't believe I never called you on this! lol Usenet

It's funny you bring this up, because Harry Knowles sent me this weird angry email THE SAME DAY g*nd*la b*b sent his death threat email back in 1998. And with Harry it was because of some comment I had left on the site suggesting that his review of whatever Rodriguez movie was out that year might be influenced by Rodriguez buddying up to him, not even anything that harsh. It was creepy and unnerving, but still kind of amusing.

gondela BRB?

That would have been an improvement.

lol I never heard that story! That is true Interloon synergy right there.

Me. I'm afraid I was eating fresh Hummus and pita bread during this. Not sure why I went Vegan on this film - I just think that had I actually had RED MEAT or anything crazy manly... like a rack of ribs to eat - or a Turkey Leg... my god. You might as well masturbate too. I was trying to hold back, but I love this movie. I love the concept of it, the build for it, my experiences with the film and finally this crazy fucking night of action upon action upon action upon THE EXPENDABLES.

This fucking guy.

that sounds otm

HM

http://www.indiewire.com/2017/09/fantastic-fest-sponsorship-aint-it-cool-news-harry-knowles-controversy-1201878731/

He added that his decision was partly motivated by accusations about his own activity. “There was a rumor about me and an ex-girlfriend that felt ugly,” he said. “They’re a complete fabrication and lie.”