The On-Hold with Tech Support Thread

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I'm a little bored waiting in Adtran tech support limbo. So, post things related to on-hold tech support. Also, I'm listening to all the soft rock/muzak/classical stuff they play while you have no choice but to listen intently hoping for a real person.

Question: Is there any musician that who know of who composes absolute original (not muzak) material strickly for telephone on-hold systems.

Bonus Question: Which musician do you think should do this? An entire album exclusively for on-hold phone systems.

― cprek (cprek), Wednesday, 23 April 2003 12:06 (twenty-two years ago)

tech support is no fun to be on hold for. That said, it's even worse when you're considered tech support when you're not. My boss sent me an email this morning (instead of waiting for me to come in and walking directly out his office and asking) asking me to do something that I don't do, that I don't know how to do, and that I can't do. Dud, dud, dud.

Mark Mothersbaugh would be a great musician to make on-hold music, if he doesn't already.

Bonus content: when I was a telemarketer long ago, I called this one company and got put on hold to a High Llamas tune! Pretty rare for Illinois...

― hstencil, Wednesday, 23 April 2003 12:14 (twenty-two years ago)

We always get through to our 'tech support'. They take a message and say a technician will call you back. It is patently obvious that this will never happen, therefore I am learning all the intimate details of Netscape 4.5 and it's "interesting" email and calendar service!

There is a strange thing called 'Powerlink' on the desktop. The system is called "dss6000" DRS/NX 6000 SVR Version 7 Level 7 Increment 4 (it's like being in TRON) oh - but what is my OSI(GO)login?! Who knows. It's a strange terminal type thing but god knows if I can log in and most importantly LOG OUT. I believe the term is SSH!!! I have been talking to geeks! I don't know what it means!

The worst hold music is of COURSE Howard from the Halifax.

― Sarah (starry), Wednesday, 23 April 2003 12:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I got through. The couldn't fix it. Now I have to call another company's tech support. :(

― cprek (cprek), Wednesday, 23 April 2003 12:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Netscape 4.5? Damn, you don't need tech support, you need a newer browser.

― hstencil, Wednesday, 23 April 2003 12:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Hahaha. The computer I'm on can barely cope with Netscape. We're running THE BEAST of Win95 with Novell Aps. I like to time how long it takes me to open Word each morning. The record is 3mins 34secs 26 er... milliseconds! The first time this happened I thought the computer had crashed, so thought I'd restart, closed all the other aps down, went for a cup of tea... sat down and sorted some papers back at the desk, just as I was about to do the restart - Word opens up. MENTALIST!!!!!!!!!!!!

― Sarah (starry), Wednesday, 23 April 2003 12:56 (twenty-two years ago)

the high llamas should fully devote themselves to only making hold music full-time instead of subjecting the unwitting public to more of their albums

― geeta (geeta), Wednesday, 23 April 2003 12:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I've been on both sides of the fence when it comes to tech support. I don't want to call tech support, wait on hold, have some guy tell me to do a bunch of standard procedure BS that has nothing to do with the problem. The tech support guy doesn't want be bothered with stupid questions that the customer could figure out if they actually tried. Seems that technology is imposing horribly forced social interaction.

And I have to listen to Boyz 2 Men.

― cprek (cprek), Wednesday, 23 April 2003 13:01 (twenty-two years ago)

(Geeta: chortle)

There's a really awful one for BT, the most downbeat, soul-destroying hold music in the world. But I'm sure it's that way on purpose.

― suzy (suzy), Wednesday, 23 April 2003 13:01 (twenty-two years ago)

And I haven't mentioned "the database" yet.

The hold music at the German embassy used to be FANTASTIC - I hope it's still as good. I think it was a lady messing about with a bingatone whilst she waited for your call to be connected. I want that job!

― Sarah (starry), Wednesday, 23 April 2003 13:04 (twenty-two years ago)

"lady messing about with a bingatone whilst she waited for your call" = ralf from the german supergroup kraftwerk

― geeta (geeta), Wednesday, 23 April 2003 13:07 (twenty-two years ago)

haha. nice work if you can get it.

― cprek (cprek), Wednesday, 23 April 2003 13:10 (twenty-two years ago)

1910 Telephone Music Transmission

Apparently, before everyone had radios to listen to music there were patented inventions to recieve music from your local telephone exchange.

― cprek (cprek), Wednesday, 23 April 2003 13:39 (twenty-two years ago)

People liked our hold music for some reason, I think it was Mozart of Mahler or something. They'd come off hold and say "awww put me back on hold, I was enjoying that!" And oh, was I ever tempted to do just that...

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 23 April 2003 21:13 (twenty-two years ago)

four years pass...

I'm waiting for fcking tiscali to answer their fckng phone and i'm getting a little peeved I can tell you.

― Ned Trifle II, Wednesday, 30 January 2008 16:28 (eighteen years ago)

I mean how long do I got to wait frcrissakes!!!

― Ned Trifle II, Wednesday, 30 January 2008 16:31 (eighteen years ago)

And you know when I get through they won't be able to help.

― Ned Trifle II, Wednesday, 30 January 2008 16:31 (eighteen years ago)

Tinkling pianos.

― Ned Trifle II, Wednesday, 30 January 2008 16:33 (eighteen years ago)

OK, so how long before I give up?

― Ned Trifle II, Wednesday, 30 January 2008 16:41 (eighteen years ago)

one year passes...

Support call from hell. 4 hours so far.

― Monkey Pocket Boob (libcrypt), Thursday, 2 April 2009 21:35 (seventeen years ago)

5.5 hours. Wonder if I'm going home tonite.

― Monkey Pocket Boob (libcrypt), Thursday, 2 April 2009 23:05 (seventeen years ago)

two months pass...

Just spent an hour and a half on the phone to my father explaining how to get the scanner that came with his six-month-old PC to save into his 'Documents' folder.

I don't know who I blame more: him, Dell, or Bill Gates.

― James Mitchell, Thursday, 18 June 2009 23:56 (sixteen years ago)

Bill. He started it.

― \\00// (SeekAltRoute), Friday, 19 June 2009 00:35 (sixteen years ago)

I have to ring T3lstra Wholesale fairly regularly, and their hold music is an awful song that was written for one of their promo campaigns some years back, its all "I am, you are, we are Australian" with this shithouse blusey rock thing going on, fuck me it's horrible to listen to on a loop.

― I'm Rick Wakeman, bitch! (Trayce), Friday, 19 June 2009 00:37 (sixteen years ago)

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