Great Real Names

Among ilxen, Ned and Matos and Martin and Lara have damn cool names, and if I'm remembering Ally's full name correctly, she sounds like a Barbara Stanwyck character.

ps he is a dick

anyway.. i used to work for a multinational company which had a searchable online name and address book. So we used to have office competitions to find the best names..

So. here we go with some of the best (and these are real employees)

Nick Sex
Shirley Shallow
Tory S Gaylord
Ricardo Cunto
Eduardo Bastardo
Eric Cartman
Mindy Smelkinson

there were loads more but i can't remember them right now...

He was a great authour, too.

Not as crowd-pleasing perhaps, but there's a statue in Madison Square in New York of a man named Roscoe Conkling.

-- jess

Oh, and my middle school band director was named Rufus Long.

Went to school with a girl who's last name was Sexe (p. "sexy") She was, too.

Geoffrey Stuart Cannon is such a bizarre formal name sometimes I can't really believe it's mine (heh "feeling slightly disconnected from one's own name c/d")

RAGGETT: "Tell me where's your fancy bread.
I need it for me, and I'm called Ned."

Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett, Lord Dunsany

Seconding Fletrjet on both the name and his writing.

Working at a university as I do, I've come across many a mysteriously cool name. Current favorites, with slight non-google alterations (as these are folks I am currently having to bill for late books): the very Thai (I believe) Nar1n Charanvattank1t, the quite Scottish yet somehow naughty 1an Mu1r Duckles and the prime winner, someone I can only guess is from an Arabic/Dutch family of some sort, Azareen Vandervl1et Oloom1.

Also, I saw a guy named John Hancock, which is not all that unusual, but I wonder if he would make his signature an exact forgery of the founding father of the same name.

At work today the person who I was given as a sample that would show a particular system error was Mr Doh. I like to imagine that to say his name correctly you have to slap your forehead.

i loved that thread, largely because spectra got so into it! :)

Mr Dickie & Miss K Titmus

Pope Thrower

https://focustaiwan.tw/politics/202408020008

wut

Ha, wasn't he on the now sadly defunct Name of the Year contest a few years back

Brittany Buffalino

in a cheap music video

Christophe Psyché

By the way this guy was born in Cannes and now plays for Tromsø, 217 miles north of the Arctic Circle!

Gaylord le Chequer, deputy at the mayor's office in Montreuil (Paris, communist party)
Wasn't familiar with that first name

https://weirdspace.info/RussellMyers/Graphics/GaylordBuzzard.jpg

It was a moderately popular boys name until the 1950s, still is in Francophone world, for example

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaylord_Silly

Guy who goes to my gym: Clayt0n Lusty

Djouvensky Schlenbaker

https://wsucougars.com/sports/football/roster/djouvensky-schlenbaker/13642

Beanou-Junior Brandon Deflorent Soppy

Was hoping he'd be a Quebecer

I'm following the parliamentary assistants Front National debacle (hilarious stuff) and lo! here comes Wallerand de Saint-Just
https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wallerand_de_Saint-Just
In the context of this thread, old French families feel almost like cheating

Mequsaq Avataq Igimaqssusuktoranguapaluk, son of Danish explorer Peter Freuchen and his first wife Navarana Mequpaluk, brother of Pipaluk Jette Tukuminguaq Kasaluk Palika.

Back when I visited Greenland - as you do - I remember flicking through this, because Greenlandic is one of those languages where words are built from component parts, like German, and you can split the words apart again to work out what they mean. Unlike English, which is a load of arbitrary nonsense. e.g. Kangerlussuaq is "kangerluk" (a fjord) and -suag, which means big and bad in a scary way. NB I am not a linguist.

Avataq is apparently a male name that means "sealskin float", Meqqusaaq means "made of hair" or something like that, and you could probably split Igimaqssusuktoranguapaluk into components but I'll be damned if I know how. -paluk means "the sound of something, Pipaluk means "the sound of something small", and at this point my brain is starting to hurt because it hurts to learn new things.

The Greenlandic word for "homosexual man" is anguteqatiminoortartoq, which breaks down into "a man who habitually hangs out with his fellow men". They have a word for crocodile, which is the same as the word for dragon. They invented the word anorak, which means anorak.

It strikes me that Esperanto was a waste of time. The world should have learned Greenlandic. It's small, it makes sense, and it would utilise all those spare Ks and Qs that hang around.

Open for a surprise:

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/nov/01/one-year-on-we-know-this-swedens-trade-unions-are-more-than-a-match-for-elon-musk

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Evans

Great Evans

Equanimeous Tristan Imhotep J. St. Brown and his brother Amon-Ra Julian Heru John St. Brown
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Equanimeous_St._Brown
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amon-Ra_St._Brown

There's another brother, Osiris.

Squire Whipple, bridge engineer

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squire_Whipple

Mom’s name was Electa

J.R. Spermon, urologist

The president of Palau is Surangel Whipps, Jr.

There is a consultant psychologist in the UK called Dr Ronald Doctor.

I imagine he introduces himself as "I am Doctor Doctor, but you can call me Mister Doctor".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jk_OJhx3d2U

Dancehall album cover illustrator Wilfred Limonious...

Musicologist Cuthbert Girdlestone

Just read an obit of someone with the last name Wankoff.

Apparently there is an Israeli celebrity named Guy Penis.

there's a rare California plant called the Western Bewildering Bushmallow

https://www.sfgate.com/local/article/controlled-burn-revives-bay-area-plant-100-years-19925999.php

Well if we’re including plants, allow me to introduce to you Rubus cockburnianus.

ouch

A sweet and dear friend of mine has a magnificent name (de-Googled for reasons): 4ng Pr0udf00t. I love looking at it every time I see her post on social media.

Vignesh Gnanasekaran

Walbanke Ashby Pritt

Netherlands' PM Dick Schoof.

I just learned that the quarterback for Mississippi is Jaxson Dart

I just learned that the quarterback for Mississippi is Jaxson Dart

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foeke_Booy

Kristrún Frostadóttir

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2025/jan/12/a-welfare-state-with-a-budget-on-the-right-side-of-zero-icelands-youngest-ever-prime-minister-has-a-plan-for-a-new-kind-of-governance

... daughter of Frosti Fífill Jóhannsson.

love that frosti is an Icelandic forename

Hence the Icelandic porn parody *A Fist of Frosti*.

Fr3d Z3pp

Wankard Pooser

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wankard_Pooser

“ and another publication entitled Wankard Pooser's Bumblebee – The Paper With A Sting, which ceased publication in 1958.”

“Wankard Pooser's Bumblebee – The Paper With A Sting” is a phrase with powerful iambic energy. My mind sets it to music as a mid-century Andrew Sisters-style jingle.

Also has that Buford Pusser ring to it. Awesome name.

“Wankard Pooser's Bumblebee – The Paper With A Sting” is a phrase with powerful iambic energy. My mind sets it to music as a mid-century Andrew Sisters-style jingle.

one of the best things i've ever read on this board tbh

"spooky scary skeletons send shivers down your spine" type beat

Thank you budo jeru!

Irma von Cube

https://i.imgur.com/VEqqptW.jpeg