I have decided to write an amusing blockbuster best-selling novel today but I'm a bit stuck because I don't actually have a plot yet

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So I naturally thought that I should consult the collective mind hive of ILX.

Question 1 : Where should my story be set?

Random thorts to kick-start my creative sKilLZors are warmly welcomed!

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 07:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Anywhere but London or New York or LA.

― kate, Tuesday, 29 April 2003 08:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Your novel should be set on the Interweb among mentalists.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 08:21 (twenty-two years ago)

It should be set in IMBER, or nearby. Seriously.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 08:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Cornwall or somewhere else that will look great when they film it.
Scotland and Yorkshire have had their fill of TV/Film appearances and Cornwall needs the tourists.

― Simeon (Simeon), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 09:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Of course I like the Imber idea, but then again, it would be hard to set a novel there, as no one actually *lives* there and it's only open twice a year. Hey! That would be a plot challenge. Have a novel which occurs only over two days, half a year apart!

― kate, Tuesday, 29 April 2003 09:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Aah, Kate, but you figure without the power of HISTORY! Although I like the two days a year and a half apart idea as well...

I originally said Imber because it allows for murder and intrigue and history and war and politics and spirituality and GHOSTS and sordid secrets that have lain undiscovered for generations and good scenery (which is essential if you're ever going to get your blockbuster novel serialised on BBC2 on Sunday evenings or made into a film that will impress the Americans).

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 12:45 (twenty-two years ago)

It must feature a paraprofessional who realizes that materialism is bad and that friends are good. This will happen at the office.

― Sasha Frere-Jones (Sasha Frere-Jones), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 12:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Have it be about ravers who throw a giant rave in the middle of a field -- but it turns out the freaky dancing opens a seal that unleashes a baby eating deamon.

― Nicole (Nicole), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 12:51 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.weebl.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/b3ta/monstacat.gif

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 13:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe you shouldn't mention what part of the world or what town this story takes place in, so you can leave that up to the reader (to an extent) and focus more on the characters.

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 13:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah... Highly intellectual and powerful cats...

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 13:07 (twenty-two years ago)

It should be about a female assasin who falls in love with a robot.

― Nicole (Nicole), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 13:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Is this book written by the Flaming Lips, by any chance Nicole?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 13:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Wow - this is brilliant. I love the idea of Imber, but am worried that the story might end up being a sort of Brigadoon with mangelworzels.

They always say you should write about places you know best, which limits me to Cheltenham, Oxford, Melbourne and Hong Kong. And Sainsbury's.

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 13:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Hong Kong is a great city for giant attack cats.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 13:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, I know! How about one about a mild mannered young accountant who falls in love with a model, but then learns that she is secretly a leprachaun who hooked up with him because she found out he is the heir to the throne of an obscure kingdom and wants to steal his gold???

― Nicole (Nicole), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 13:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Because as we all know, secret leprachauns are the worst and most scary kind.

― Nicole (Nicole), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 13:14 (twenty-two years ago)

If it's going to be a blockbuster, then there has to be at least one scene where someone yells, "GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!" and either leaps to catch something (like a granade) just in time or simply raises his/her hands to the sky in anguish.

(or substitute God No with something like FREEDOM!!!!!)

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 13:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Nicole is being unrealistic. Let us instead have a novel about a woman's passion for a darkly romantic exiled lord of the manor, set in England in 1810. This has never been attempted before.

It should be about a female assasin who falls in love with a robot.

Ally stars in the movie adaptation of Gary Numan's I, Assassin. Co-starring Derek Jeter as the robot.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 14:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Can the main character have some sort of emotional epiphany about childhood and/or relationships toward the end of the novel?

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 14:06 (twenty-two years ago)

"Ally woke up on that final day. 'Yes,' she thought, 'children are a wonderful idea...BUT NOT FOR ME!' She then removed her two favorite knives from their sheaths and went on the hunt."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 14:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Excellent! I smell New York Times Bestseller!!

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 14:12 (twenty-two years ago)

It'll be the superior sequel to American Psycho, Manhattan Assassin.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 14:14 (twenty-two years ago)

CJ you should start by designing the front cover. That's my tried-and-true formula for success that I happened on in grade school.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 14:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm definitely thinking interweb mentalism if the way to go. I may set it all in a chat room, and let it ramble on for ever. If I run out of funny stuff to say, I could just put "lol" and winky-face emoticons all over the place. Just to pad it out a bit.

Tracer - I'm rubbish at drawing, apart from little stick men.

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 14:46 (twenty-two years ago)

God, I went for New York (Upstate) as one of the locations for my infamous novel. Unimaginative or what? That's me. Just as well I'll probably never finish the thing.

― ChristineSH (chrissie1068), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 15:22 (twenty-two years ago)

UPSTATE NY is fine, cause no one ever does it. The City is played out, though. My last novel was set in upstate NY! Imagine that!

― kate, Tuesday, 29 April 2003 15:28 (twenty-two years ago)

More novels should be about a tender hearted Tolkien-loving Duran Duran-obsessing geek growing in Saratoga Springs from 1982 to 1985, I say. Yup.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 15:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm going to write a novel set in my colon.

― Nick A. (Nick A.), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 15:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I have decided to write the secret leprachaun novel myself...I'm calling it Pot of Deception...

― Nicole (Nicole), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 15:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I didn't want NYC, so I went for Upstate. Even though I know almost nothing about it. I still think this is a failing on my part, because I find writing stories that have British accents in them (if only implicitly) slightly distracting. Modern British, anyway -- I have bits set in Georgian England (1808). This is an irrational prejudice I don't quite understand.

― ChristineSH (chrissie1068), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 15:58 (twenty-two years ago)

This is how far I got with my "amusing blockbuster best-selling novel":

http://www.angelfire.com/wy/bby2k/wip.html

There is another chapter, but it mostly details a train journey and is borderline dark night of the soul stuff, and I can't find the disc I saved it on.

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 16:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Skywalker Ranch.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 16:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm glad someone else is going to tackle the secret leprechaun novel. I didn't fancy it myself, but only because I had visions of Colin Farrell being cast as the leprechaun for the screen adaptation.

I think a novel about a tender hearted Tolkien-loving Duran Duran-obsessing geek growing up in Saratoga Springs from 1982 to 1985 sounds lovely. NedLife - The Musical!

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 16:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Aw, thanks. :-) But don't forget the hyperacne.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 16:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally stars in the movie adaptation of Gary Numan's I, Assassin. Co-starring Derek Jeter as the robot.

What the hell? I'm over the Jeets, now I like A-Rod.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 16:55 (twenty-two years ago)

"The Hyperacne That Ate America!"

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 16:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Update me on your lusts, then, dammit!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 17:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, like it's hard to guess who I find attractive.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 17:03 (twenty-two years ago)

This is true.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 29 April 2003 17:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Any old plot will do, as long as you include several episodes that prominently feature pie.

― Aimless, Tuesday, 29 April 2003 19:09 (twenty-two years ago)

three months pass...

Tracer Hand have you written an amusing blockbuster best-selling novel?

― m.s (m .s), Sunday, 10 August 2003 06:31 (twenty-two years ago)

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