Satellite TV wasn't as common then so I never got to see it.
Ed, name-dropping JSP is really scraping the barrel ;)
― Mark C (Mark C), Saturday, 3 May 2003 08:46 (twenty-two years ago)
For some reason I'd often flick over to L!VE TV (as it tried to convince everyone it was called) at random times during the day to revel in its crapness, when I could have been watching Cartoon Network instead. The programmes I remember:
A gratingly wacky thing which based its name around the title of the film "Indecent Proposal" - There were two hosts, a cheeky gurning cockney man and a cheeky gurning essex girl, who would run around shopping centres offering people money if they did stupid things, like put on a big pair of pants and pretend to be a chicken. The offers always started at £1 and would never go any higher than (IIRC) £10. It was quite a dispriting watch, seeing people cover themselves with custard (or whatever) for only £10 at the most.
Tiffany's Big City Tips - A page 3 girl would read off the latest financial news off an autocue while stripping down to her bra. This was the most popular thing on the channel, apparently, despite the fact that once you saw one edition you'd seen it all. (Some Russian TV channel, btw, went one better by having a lots of different girls strip down to nakedness while a disemobodied Russian voice recited the latest in world news, usually with a small square in the corner showing an earthquake or something. Anyway, I digress...)
Agony! - Stupid discussion show, with people's real life problems debated over by Edwina Currie's daughter and this wretched little shit who seemed to appear on every crap discussion show on British TV during 1997-99. The problems would be reenacted via a photostory with a random "geezer" and a random reasonably nice looking woman with blond hair. Then after that we would cut to the studio, and have a useless talk where Edwina Currie's daughter would disagree with everything the wretched little shit would say and the wretched little shit would disagree with everything Edwina Currie's daughter would say. Utterly pointless, and WLS' attempts to be a "man of the people" type got quickly tiresome. Had the world's most infuriating theme tune, too: just lots of people going "AGONY! AGONY! AGON-AGON-AGONY!"
Lie Detector - A rather dull show where people would be hooked up to a lie detector to see if they had been unfaithful to their partners or whatever. Suprisingly after LIVE TV closed down this briefly transferred to ITV, with the same set and titles and host and everything.
Rusty Goffe's Weather - Professional midget Rusty Goffe would give weather forecasts whilst bouncing on a trampoline. Sounds really funny, but somehow was just annoying (maybe due to the general tone of the channel).
The best thing to happen on LIVE TV ever - I missed this, sadly, but apparently it did happen - shortly after LIVE TV received the news that it was to close down (for some reason I can't remember - maybe the new owners, who had bought LIVE TV with some other channels and stuff, were just really embarassed by it) one final news bulletin was prepared to go out just before midnight on LIVE TV's final day of transmission. LIVE TV had an stupid mascot called the News Bunny (IIRC) who would stand in the background pissing about while a newsreader would read out happy news stories. (It was a bit like the "And Finally" bits from News At Ten making up a whole bulletin.) On this final bulletin, the last thing to ever go out on LIVE TV, things began as normal, and the newsreader got about 15 seconds into the first story before a masked assailant jumped into view and gunned down the News Bunny in a hail of gunfire. News Bunny slumps dead to the ground. Cut to black. Channel closes down.
I know more about LIVE TV than I ought to.
― Chriddof (Chriddof), Saturday, 3 May 2003 12:22 (twenty-two years ago)
I read a book about the whole LIVE TV fiasco for my postgrad media course, I can't recall what it was called though. It's REALLY funny - LIVE TV wanted News Bunny to stand for local election but, in order for 'News Bunny' to be considered as a local counsellor, this had to be his actual legal name. So LIVE TV paid one of its employees to legally change his name to News Bunny for the local election. He did it as well, but the whole publicity stunt was a shambles.
LIVE TV did have some hot women though. My favourite was a blonde lass called Zoe Nichols (I think that's right) who did some of the sexiest stripteases ever seen. Myself and my flatmate fell in love with her but, sadly, she's never been seen since.
― Calum, Saturday, 3 May 2003 13:00 (twenty-two years ago)
eleven months pass...