I need a guidance counceller

i've been thinking about a career change as well, tho i'm not sure how seriously (probably not very at all) - it just struck me that it might be nice to do a job that involves more outdoor work actually helping people's day to day lives (possibly in other countries) rather than just sitting at a screen all day pushing pixels (which can be fun but also hurts a bit). maybe i'll go off and save some rainforests...

Guess I should have kept a back-up plan.

Remember that thread on "when did you/do you plan to give up your dreams"? Because the answer is, pretty much right now.

If there are people depending on you, and if they like you/value you, it might help your case if they went (angrily or no) to the people who sacked you and said "Hey! We can't manage without him!"

Hilariously enough, I am still in charge of communicating with about 150 BAs and MBAs that are joining the Bank this summer. No one seems to have the foresight to say "Hey maybe this guy who we're letting go shouldn't be the one in charge of this."

So, find a friend like this, is the answer? I dunno... I actually think you do have to do it on your own in the end, and there's no foolproof plan you can make - you have to try stuff out. Even the biggest life changes don't have to be forever, and even if they don't work out there's probably a silver lining. Sometimes you have to take a chance...

You can of course pay people lots of money to be your 'life coach' or just give you an isometric test over the interweb or whatever.

I need to talk to someone unbiased, who can help me understand what *my* skills are, and push me towards something suited towards them.

What makes these questions so hard is that no one else can answer them for you. No test is going to give you the solution you're looking for. We can only figure these things out on our own which is why so many of us never quite do.

I do appreciate all the people trying to cheer me up by pointing out how much we did accomplish. But time and the music industry are against me. I am now 33. If it hasn't happened yet, it's not going to happen. I did my best, now it is time to move on and find something else.

As far as a career making an unhappy person happy, I don't expect that. But I do expect to have a job/career which at least SOMEWHAT engages or interests me, instead of one where I literally wake up in the morning and go "Oh god, how am I going to get through the interminable boredom of the next eight hours?"

There HAS to be more to life than this.

I just noticed that there's some dude in my office that goes around shining people's shoes. I noticed this because I stood up for a second and saw him in my boss's office, shining his shoes. I now realize that this is probably not the place for me, then. It amazes me that even in this market climate of "expense reduction," the assholes who work here still find this necessary. I mean, I don't want the shoeshine guy to lose his job, either, but is this really a necessary function to the smooth operation of this business? Can't somebody pay their own damn $3 or whatever to get their shoes shined? Esp. when they're making 6 and 7-figure salaries?

But an ill-fitting one could certainly diminish a happy person's quality of life!

our advice and guidance people here at work (i work at the c1ty l1t) will talk to anyone and for NOWT (yes, even grown ups). their phone number is 02074300543.

i've not used the service myself, but they all seem like jolly nice people. it's not just about doing courses either, they do the whole career thing too.

in fact there is a whole network of providers across the country, here is the london (city/hackney/tower hamlets) website: http://www.iaglondon.org/public/frmpublic.htm which has links to rest of the country.

the chap i saw was v good, and helped me sort out what was important to me in a job but he was very much a counsellor, in that it was all about me and what i needed, rather than a careers guidance person who would have given me more concrete information about specific jobs and how to get into them so think carefully about the kind of career counselling you want.

having said that i got the job i have now through a temping agency and i'm really enjoying it (though it may end soon :().

http://www.plumbers.org.uk/wip.html

Do not quit doing music, and do not quit w/thee writing either. Yr article in CTCL 4 was one of the best things in it I thought.

One important point: you don't have to give up on music. You shouldn't. Indeed, not long after your first album came out and soon after a big support gig is a bad time to abandon it. Keep doing it - but it isn't a sure thing, and you probably need something else as well. Also, by the time you have decided and qualified and tried whatever career you go for, you have to face the fact that switching directions again will become increasingly difficult at a rapid rate.

Think about your skills, as objectively as possible. Think of what careers/jobs you could stand and might find tolerably interesting or stimulating. Think of doing them until you're 60. This eliminates some no-hopers. So do the ones you know you can't do, or couldn't realistically get into. You need to locate the job/career that passes all these tests. If there are multiple survivors, weigh them up for all the positives as well as negatives - money, fun, prospects, match to your best skills, options and so on. This is what I went through, and as I say it worked out okay for me. Whether the process will suit you I don't know, but it's a way of thinking about these things that might be worth trying. You'll know if the answers are the right ones, I think.

Is this actually how things work? I assumed the first few times you mentioned your age in this thread that you were saying, "I've done this so long that I'm fed up with it". I mean, I didn't really think it had to be true that people were forced to say, "If it hasn't happened yet, it's not going to happen". You'd carry on if you thought it was worth it? Isn't the assumption that you have to give up at 33 brought on by the way that everyone else gives up at 33, which is brought on by the same assumption?

33 isn't too old/late to still be in the music biz surely, Kate? :)

there's nothing stopping you pursuing music in a hobbyist manner... one of my pals is in Dublin's Leading Band the Jimmycake and like the other members is doing just that.

It's not too late to be in the music *biz*, I mean, if I was really motivated, I could try to become a songwriter or session player blah blah blah, but that's not what I enjoy, it would be just another dayjob, so why not get a dayjob I like? What I am doing now is never going to let me even break even. Let alone even make a comfortable living.

In some careers - writing, art, etc. - age is not a deterrant. I know a lot of people who won't take a writer UNDER the age of 30 seriously. But in pop music, like it or not, youth is what counts, and that's a commodity that is fading fast for me.

Not saying I won't continue to make music, but it will be music made in my bedroom for my enjoyment, rather than for any other purpose.

Except that half the other members are about ready to kick off their dead-end jobs and go global, leading (I predict) to no more band in a year ot two.

They're people who undoubtedly went "mega". But I can't see how that's the only option. There are lots of people who don't get chart success at all, but still sell some records, still fill concerts. I have no idea how much money they make. I'm thinking about all those US indie guys, Bonnie Prince Billy, Smog, Silver Jews. I have no idea how old they are, but they're all ugly as fuck and nobody cares. And that's how I interpret the need to be young. It's not about age, it's about looking good, which you're less likely to do the older you get. But isn't that only so important in chart pop terms? Half the indie people are ugly at 20 never mind 40 and it doesn't matter much.

But then I notice the people I list are "indie guys". Do you think it's so much easier to be a guy in your position? I'm inclined to think it might be.

Absolutely and unquestionably yes. Men are allowed to be perceived as sexy for much longer than women - see that wrinkly old bastard Sean Connery. And men don't have to be sexy to be pop stars in the first place.

Pop music is unabashedly and unashamably sexist. It just is.

But it's got to the point where I can no longer PASS for 22.

nyeh, fame. it sounds a bit crap, not being able to walk the streets without being hassled. making great art though, that's the real deal.

Andrew - I think what will actually happen with the Jimmycake is that the economy will throw them all on the dole, leading them to spend more time being Dublin's Leading Band.

oh dear. This strikes a chord as I'm afraid I have been this person. Repeatedly. It stems from a misguided, short-sighted but ultimately quite understandable tendency to think "I'm happy in my career, ergo it's a good one, ergo other ppl will be happy too" totally forgetting about skillsets and ppl's tendencies to be interested in different things.

Back to this again.

Five years later.

And how weird is it, that last time, in the process of trying to go back to school and figure out what to do with my life, I accidentally fell into the career that I've had for the past 5 years.

But now I think that that 5-year career was a mistake, and not the right thing for me, either.

I imagine it'll be harder now, because I'm five years older, and because of the current economic climate, loads more people will be looking for a new career. Sigh.