Please Indulge My Fantasy Of A Canadian-led Invasion Of The U.S. And A Subsequent Regime Change

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Disclaimer: If you are an F.B.I. agent rest assured that this is only a wonderful dream I've been having, and as far as I know, dreams are free, motherfucker.
Okay, please flesh out my scenario by adding any and all hypotheticals of your own. Would Mexico be involved? I'm kinda hoping they would be. Who would make up Canada's coalition of freedom-fighters? Greenland? What would the end result be? A Tim Hortons on every block? Who would the victorious (cross my fingers) Canadians choose to head the new democratic government that they install? Go crazy! I'm thinking that the brave Canucks would finally free all those oil wells in Texas so that they finally belong to the citizens of the U.S.

― Scott Seward, Tuesday, 13 May 2003 16:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Uh, we will bury you, or something.

― Paul Celucci (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 16:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Can you bring us socialized medicine, please?

― hstencil, Tuesday, 13 May 2003 16:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Also bears.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 16:54 (twenty-two years ago)

1st thng canuks would do is enforce spending caps on the big market (american) hockey teams. this would be followed by the distruction of all american networks allowing free reign of the cbc and no more stupid ass afternoon hockey matches. then qubec would start rumbling and all yankees would havta learn french. or at least try. oh¡ and fanally legalize weed for all ha ha haaaaaaaa¡

that's is on the 1:735,667,923,462 odds that all candians aren't destroyed instantly by the u.s.'s militray.

― dyson (dyson), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 16:54 (twenty-two years ago)

you canucks would have lots of yank collaborationists (inc. yours truly). remember that an awful lot of blue states are on yer border!

― Tad (llamasfur), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 16:54 (twenty-two years ago)

a shame that John Candy is dead ... he'd be perfect as the new president.

― Tad (llamasfur), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 16:56 (twenty-two years ago)

where would bush and cheney go into exile? hell, who would have them? Argentina? they would have to change their names and faces and drive cabs for a living.

― scott seward, Tuesday, 13 May 2003 16:57 (twenty-two years ago)

i'd like to nominate myself. if i kill bush i get his powers, right?

― dyson (dyson), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 16:57 (twenty-two years ago)

We will begin by dropping Don Cherry's Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Hockey, Vols. 13-15 from our two working helicopters on major American cities.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 16:58 (twenty-two years ago)

A friend of mine was ranting abuot this same idea this weekend... Though I think he was also excited about the Canadian pot.

― Chris P (Chris P), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 16:59 (twenty-two years ago)

i second dyson as canadian dictator, if only because he'd change the national anthem from the star-spangled banner to "are 'friends' electric"!

― Tad (llamasfur), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Neil Young for drug czar?

― scott seward, Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually, the only states we're interested in are Nebraska, Idaho, and New Mexico.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Nobody is taking into account how much better the Yankees are then the Canadian baseball teams.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I will flip sides and join you mighty canux!

― Leee (Leee), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:02 (twenty-two years ago)

you know me beter than i know myself, tad.

― dyson (dyson), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:03 (twenty-two years ago)

The NY Yanks could probably repel Canadian forces.

― Leee (Leee), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:04 (twenty-two years ago)

If there is free Tim Hortons in it for me, I will help you brave Canadian freedom fighters!

― Nicole (Nicole), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Here is one US conquered by Canadian/UN coalition scenario:

http://www.exile.ru/162/162010100.html

― fletrejet, Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:04 (twenty-two years ago)

we would get work off for wayne gretzky's birthday too, i think.

― scott seward, Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Nobody is taking into account how much better the Yankees are then the Canadian baseball teams.
That was my favourite part of the early 90s Blue Jays back-to-back World Series wins. There was such an upswell of Nat'l Pride (surely there was some correlation between the first win and the defeat of the Charlottetown Accord), but it was like, why?
Because the Cubans and Haitians on our payroll were better than the Cubans and Haitians on their payroll?

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:06 (twenty-two years ago)

i want revenge for the blue jays beating the phillies in the 93 series. otherwise, i'm down wit' the canadian clowns till i'm dead in tha ground.

― Tad (llamasfur), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:07 (twenty-two years ago)

you can have the j's.

― dyson (dyson), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:10 (twenty-two years ago)

We want the Grizzlies back though.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:10 (twenty-two years ago)

hmmm...the more i think about it a regime change just doesn't go far enough. howzabout we spit the country in two: New New Mexico and New Canada. Our Mexican and South American comrades deserve a piece of the enchillada too.

― scott seward, Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:13 (twenty-two years ago)

TS:

http://www.acbl.org/nabc/vancouver/Bulletins/MOUNTIES.JPG v. http://www.edbetz.com/images/otherstuff/yankees%20double%20catch.jpg

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:13 (twenty-two years ago)

God, someone needs lipo.

― Kerry (dymaxia), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:14 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.tvdads.com/images/doright.jpg

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:14 (twenty-two years ago)

the Yankees wouldn't be the Yankees anymore. They would be the New Halifax Mooses.

― scott seward, Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:16 (twenty-two years ago)

What the hell are Tino & Brosius doing going after the same popup?

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:16 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.gocollect.com/images/Rudolph/200/934798.jpg
vs.
http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/photos/images/bigfoot.jpg

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:17 (twenty-two years ago)

is snow mizer canadian?

― Tad (llamasfur), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:19 (twenty-two years ago)

new halifax mooses – i love that

― dyson (dyson), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:20 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.filmnoirdenver.com/images/avril.jpg
vs.
http://www.kzkx.com/timages/page/shania-9-30.jpg

...no wait!

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:21 (twenty-two years ago)

i hope that they make inuit a new official language of occupied america ... i wanna see street-signs and instruction manuals with sentences that look like this: "uioasdfjpo oieursu w wer wererjun oweryiupo wriyeiory iweriopuqiuwe8ry puwr wywe"

― Tad (llamasfur), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:23 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.vegas.com/shows/dion.jpg

http://perso.club-internet.fr/celfa/photos/britney-spears-.jpg

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:26 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.ladysixstring.com/artists/other/alanismorissette/images/poster-alanis-morissette01.jpg
vs.
http://www.washington.edu/alumni/columns/dec98/cher.jpg

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:30 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.cotonete.iol.pt/images/artist/bryanadams_01.jpg

http://www.fanasylum.com/fanasylum/interview/sp17.jpg

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:35 (twenty-two years ago)

http://kreweoforpheus.net/pics/celebs/ackroyd.jpg
vs.
http://www.livebluesphotography.com/product_images/Jim-Belushi3-Turtle-Creek-1999.jpg

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:38 (twenty-two years ago)

of course, one of the biggest obstacles would be keeping the Molson supply lines open for the invading forces.

― scott seward, Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:38 (twenty-two years ago)

and little kids would call the Mounties to report that their parents were eating cereal out of English-only boxes.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Really, the problem is that Canada are not known for their army; there is a bit of a rumor that Jack White by himself could take them, for example. Infiltration thru sneaky means and not via invasion is better. The Canadians have already taken steps in this manner, what with both Peter Jennings AND Mike Meyers being Canadian.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:41 (twenty-two years ago)

and Norm Macdonald.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't forget Alex Trebek.

― hstencil, Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:44 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.angelfire.com/ny2/russkafin/images/norm4.jpg
vs.
http://www.saturday-night-live.com/images/weekendupdate/fallon.gif

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:46 (twenty-two years ago)

JIMMY FALLON IS MY TRUE LOVE, LEAVE HIM OUT OF THIS.

Isn't Matthew Perry Canadian?

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Isn't Matthew Perry Canadian?
yeah, well fuck you too.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:50 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.bctrains.com/CanadaDay/Canadians-21.gif

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

aaaaaah, make it stop! Damn you, Ally. Damn dirty Yank.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 13 May 2003 17:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 37 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

It's a start! Tell your friends!

and you are right, Ned. I should have known better.

― scott seward (scott seward), Saturday, 24 January 2004 20:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Bachman Turner Overthrow!

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Saturday, 24 January 2004 21:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Behold - the future!

http://cwd.ptbcanadian.com/Wawmap2.gif

― Kim (Kim), Saturday, 24 January 2004 22:57 (twenty-one years ago)

So what do you have against Greenland and Iceland, ya punks?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 24 January 2004 23:02 (twenty-one years ago)

i like how the map-maker stopped north of mason-dixon, AS IF IN ACKNOWLEDGMENT OF WHAT PART OF THE USA IS FUCKING IT ALL UP FOR EVERYONE ELSE.

thank you.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 24 January 2004 23:06 (twenty-one years ago)

That's from the infamous Canadian World Domination site Ned - you can find out more about our nefarious plans there.

― Kim (Kim), Saturday, 24 January 2004 23:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually the best part is clearly the Canadian Ocean.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 24 January 2004 23:07 (twenty-one years ago)

the north becomes scandinavia. the south becomes honduras.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 24 January 2004 23:07 (twenty-one years ago)

So what do you have against Greenland and Iceland, ya punks?

Greenland's all icy and Iceland is all verdant! That's confusing and retarded!

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Sunday, 25 January 2004 00:18 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm honestly going to teach myself French this year, in case of any pending invasions.

― donut bitch (donut), Sunday, 25 January 2004 00:40 (twenty-one years ago)

"I, for one, welcome our Canadian Overlords."

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Sunday, 25 January 2004 01:55 (twenty-one years ago)

nine months pass...

Still waiting...

― scott seward (scott seward), Thursday, 4 November 2004 14:01 (twenty-one years ago)

http://cwd.ptbcanadian.com/comeon.jpg

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Thursday, 4 November 2004 14:36 (twenty-one years ago)

At least it's not 'Come In Canada!'

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Thursday, 4 November 2004 14:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Though, perhaps, um, nevermind.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Thursday, 4 November 2004 14:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Why would Canada want a bunch of rednecks and religious wackos?

― Leon in Exile (Ex Leon), Thursday, 4 November 2004 14:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh we don't want them - we'll kill them first.

Here's a new map (from that same site):

http://cwd.ptbcanadian.com/usmap.gif
ZONE I: Laporte Memorial Park (territory) "LMP"
ZONE II: Land Du Beaver (territory) "LDB"
ZONE III: Molson (province)
ZONE IV: Acadia (province)
ZONE V: Kraftland (province)
ZONE VI: Degrassi Jr. Wasteland (province) "DJW"
ZONE VII: Dief The Chief (province) "DTC"
HORTON BAY: This is our man-made reservoir -- we have flooded several former American states to make this majestic watery area. There was no purpose, just cruelty.
ZONE VIII: Littlest-Hobo-Land (province)
ZONE IX: Bombardier (province)
ZONE X: The Hip (province)
ZONE XI: The Trudeau Compound -- this is our man-made penal colony.

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Thursday, 4 November 2004 14:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh we don't want them - we'll kill them first.

In that case, carry on.

― Leon in Exile (Ex Leon), Thursday, 4 November 2004 14:47 (twenty-one years ago)

I protest, ZONE X and ZONE IV need to be switched and Molson province is too far from me. It's like putting a beer on the far side of the coffee table.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Thursday, 4 November 2004 14:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Why don't we take over Mexico? If 55 million Democrats moved to Mexico, I'm sure it would have a positive effect on the economy. And we could buy in at fire sale prices. Or better yet, Haiti!

― dave225 (Dave225), Thursday, 4 November 2004 14:50 (twenty-one years ago)

And the drugs are cheap!

― Leon in Exile (Ex Leon), Thursday, 4 November 2004 14:52 (twenty-one years ago)

That's what BC is for.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Thursday, 4 November 2004 14:54 (twenty-one years ago)

http://cwd.ptbcanadian.com/voltisoldier.gif
My day is soo much better now.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Thursday, 4 November 2004 14:58 (twenty-one years ago)

That uniform is a thing of beauty.

― Leon in Exile (Ex Leon), Thursday, 4 November 2004 15:00 (twenty-one years ago)

The idea of an army with a divison called Princess Patricia's Canadian Light Infantry taking over the U.S. is too great for it not to happen.

"My God! It's useless to resist! The Princess Patricias are coming!"

― Nemo (JND), Thursday, 4 November 2004 15:06 (twenty-one years ago)

What about the Regina Rifles?

― Huk-L, Thursday, 4 November 2004 15:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Don't forget the Vignt Snooze outta Quebec.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Thursday, 4 November 2004 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)

and CB Highlanders will out drink the enemy and then bust out the bagpipes at dawn.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Thursday, 4 November 2004 15:28 (twenty-one years ago)

"Regina Rifle" sounds like a euphemism for something naughty.

― Nemo (JND), Thursday, 4 November 2004 15:47 (twenty-one years ago)

This on always has 'em rolling in the aisles:

"The 19th century was the century of the United States, the 20th century will be Canada's century."

James Longley, Nova Scotia Attorney-General, 1902

― Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 4 November 2004 16:05 (twenty-one years ago)

It kinda was, actually. Life has been pretty good in Canada - we just don't go around the world barking about it in people's faces all the time.

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Thursday, 4 November 2004 16:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Except at hockey games.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 4 November 2004 16:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Touché!

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Thursday, 4 November 2004 16:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Going around the world barking about it in people's faces all the time

― Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 4 November 2004 16:12 (twenty-one years ago)

of course youa ll know this is paving way for rise of:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v216/sexymollusk/backlogo.jpg

― Vas Djifrens, Friday, 5 November 2004 01:44 (twenty-one years ago)

a shame that John Candy is dead ... he'd be perfect as the new president.

-- Tad (llamasfu...), May 13th, 2003.

If he were alive, it would be worth facing the U.S. military just to see him give his acceptance speech as Tommy Shanks.

― Pangolino (ricki spaghetti), Friday, 5 November 2004 01:52 (twenty-one years ago)

ten months pass...

(psssssssst, hey canada, the mexican army is now officially inside the u.s. for the first time since the 1800's. the ball is in your court. they will be ready when you are. it's time to unleash operation american freedom now!!! the national guard is busy making ham and cheese sammitches down south. they will never know what hit them. go for it!)

― scott seward (scott seward), Thursday, 8 September 2005 21:17 (twenty years ago)

also, bring Labatt. I can't get that in portland, dammit.

two of the greatest failings of my town is a lack of Labatt and (much) hockey.

(for context, i spent the first 10 years of my life within a half-hour of Windsor)

― kingfish superman ice cream (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 8 September 2005 21:26 (twenty years ago)

check that, until moving here, i spent the LAST 10 years there.

my first 18 years were spent 90 minutes away.

― kingfish superman ice cream (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 8 September 2005 21:29 (twenty years ago)

Aren't they busy with a war against Denmark?

― OleM (OleM), Thursday, 8 September 2005 21:37 (twenty years ago)

Abort Mission! While I support this in theory, a Canadian invasion of the US would result in one of the more spectacular beatdowns in the history of warfare. Let's start smaller. What about Iceland?

― J-rock (Julien Sandiford), Friday, 9 September 2005 01:05 (twenty years ago)

Yes, Iceland should invade the US.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 9 September 2005 01:07 (twenty years ago)

Have they released Scott from Gitmo yet?

― M. V. (M.V.), Friday, 9 September 2005 01:31 (twenty years ago)

Too late to stop it, J-rock. We already have military vessels heading south and our army's "medical team" behind enemy lines. Once the hockey season beings all our agents will be in place. Victory shall be ours!

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 9 September 2005 01:49 (twenty years ago)

Pls invade australia next. Bring cute Canadian boys with you. Stat. Kthx.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 9 September 2005 02:17 (twenty years ago)

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/end.php

― M. V. (M.V.), Friday, 9 September 2005 02:31 (twenty years ago)

it's true, we are busy with denmark at the moment. once we take hans island, though, we'll be flush with power. look out, minnesota!

― derrick (derrick), Friday, 9 September 2005 02:41 (twenty years ago)

Well, if this thing can't be stopped then let's get it on. C'est le destin manifeste!

― J-rock (Julien Sandiford), Friday, 9 September 2005 02:49 (twenty years ago)

eleven years pass...

Maria would totally leave me for Trudeau. Man, that guy! LL Cool Just.

― scott seward, Monday, 20 February 2017 02:59 (eight years ago)

three years pass...

At what stage do they send a request tho tbh

― nob lacks, noirish (darraghmac), Sunday, 10 January 2021 03:10 (four years ago)

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