this is the thread where ilx tells me not to drink

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its been 2 and a half weeks without booze and i need some support cos its getting difficult. please nobody write "go on, have a beer, you know you want to".

― di smith (lucylurex), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 02:37 (twenty-three years ago)

do you smoke? that's what i do when i can't have booze

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 02:39 (twenty-three years ago)

no, i don't smoke anything.

― di smith (lucylurex), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 02:41 (twenty-three years ago)

you don't need booze, there's a hell of a lot more to life than drinking. hang in there, we're all pulling for you!

― Dave M. (rotten03), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 02:41 (twenty-three years ago)

hmm. tricky.

a water bottle is your friend. other than that i don't know..

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 02:41 (twenty-three years ago)

Distract yourself. Go see a movie or two. Read a good, thick book. Rearrange your record collection. Make a few phone calls to friends.

― Bruce Urquhart (Bruce Urquhart), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 02:43 (twenty-three years ago)

I drank a lot of ginger ale. keep going. it's about to get a lot easier, at least if you're anything like me.

― Millar (Millar), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 02:43 (twenty-three years ago)

Fizzy water, Di! You get all the fun carbonated burps but no alcohol. Best of luck!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 02:48 (twenty-three years ago)

Go out and do things with friends who don't drink or who can leave alcohol out of their social activities without commenting on it or missing it. If you usually drink alone, don't be alone. If you usually drink while out at Such-and-Such-a-Place, don't go there for awhile. If there's a routine you associate with drinking, or vice versa, break that routine to the best of your ability (I'm pretty much summing up "the reasons I would have trouble quitting smoking," and applying them to drinking).

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 02:51 (twenty-three years ago)

Yay Di, you can do it!

― hstencil, Wednesday, 14 May 2003 03:02 (twenty-three years ago)

actually Tep while those do work for quitting smoking, for quitting drinking it's a bit of a different story. I found that going to clubs and bars and restaurants never mattered as long as I just drank soda and water. I just made sure I always had plenty of soda around, and I kept thinking about all the money I was saving by buying Canada Dry instead of Killian's.

― Millar (Millar), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 03:09 (twenty-three years ago)

tom, that has not worked for me when I stopped drinking. I could not go to bars, shows etc. At least not until enough time had passed that my temptation was gone. Then it's still hard.

― That Girl (thatgirl), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 03:16 (twenty-three years ago)

I figure it depends on the drinker -- cause I've known smokers who could quit even while being around other people smoking (my ex), but every time I've tried, all it's taken is stepping outside a building and seeing the smokers there, and remembering the Sacred Vow To Always Give a Cigarette To Someone Who Asks To Bum One ...

Depends on the drinking environment, too, I'd think. On nights when I don't feel like drinking, it's a drag to be around people who are outright drunk, cause the novelty of "dude you're so DRUNK and I'm NOT" wears off pretty quick.

A better generalization, though, might be "if there are situations in which you crave a drink, avoid those situations if you can."

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 03:21 (twenty-three years ago)

if there are situations in which you crave a drink

such as being awake, for example

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 03:24 (twenty-three years ago)

congrats Di!

― BurmaKitty (BurmaKitty), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 03:44 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm in the same boat at the moment (struggling with putting a lid on too much drinking) and I find in my case that smashing the usual routines works to an extent. eg, normally I come home from work, pour a glass of white wine, light a smoke and sit in front of the TV. If I dont watch it, 4 wines and a pack of smokes later I hate myself.

So instead I try and come home and cook, or take a bath, or eat or ANYTHING that wont lead to that mental habitual act of "relaxing with a drink".

Avoiding parties and pubs can help too, esp if you have friends who dont understand and shove drinks in yr face :-/

And well done and continuing good luck Di, I really admire what you're doing, I hope I can do it too! :)

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 03:46 (twenty-three years ago)

I've found that since I learned to drive my drinking decreased massively. just a thought

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 03:47 (twenty-three years ago)

Well er, thats probably a good thing ;)

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 03:50 (twenty-three years ago)

good luck di, its hard to do especially when people around you drink as part of the 'usual social thingy'.
it sounds a bit lame but believe me, putting the CASH you would normally spend on alcohol into a jar labelled "present-for-me-not-drinking-money" does help. just dont raid it ok!

― donna (donna), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 04:10 (twenty-three years ago)

congratulations di, you're doing a great job.

― dan (dan), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 04:21 (twenty-three years ago)

Just think, the amount of money you save, you can blow it on music.

― Leee (Leee), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 04:34 (twenty-three years ago)

hey Di , I dont think trying to shut yourself off from social drinking situations works,you just set yourself up for a big blowout eventually. Just keep doing what youve always done, as long as your friends are supportive it will get easier. Setting a new goal in the Anthony Robbins mold has merit I reckon, to help keep you focussed. Or maybe find God perhaps... joking... take care and good luck.

ps does Anthony still post here, did he ever take up training for the priesthood?

― kiwi, Wednesday, 14 May 2003 04:46 (twenty-three years ago)

Good luck Di; no advice from me but you definitely have my empathy.

― estela, Wednesday, 14 May 2003 06:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Get a juicer, juice things.

― Ed (dali), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 06:45 (twenty-three years ago)

don't drink

― duane, Wednesday, 14 May 2003 07:09 (twenty-three years ago)

Wow, Di, that's really impressive! I tried not to drink and made it two and a half days before I caved and had a beer. :-(

Not drinking in social situations/bars and clubs is the hardest thing in the world. Especially if you're a musician - it's funny cause I always rehearse dead sober and have a great time, but can't get on a stage without a drink. The thing I find hardest is when you're at a club and someone offers you a drink. It takes the willpower of a crusading saint to say "no thanks" or even "yes, please, I'll have a sodapop."

I'm really trying to cut down myself (again) since HSA had to meet Extremely Drunk Kate and didn't like her at all. :-(

But good luck with it!!!

― kate, Wednesday, 14 May 2003 07:22 (twenty-three years ago)

ive never tried to cut out drinking, im happy with the amount i drink. perhaps something that works is only drinking if you are in a social situation (of course this is no good if you are one of those people that turn into a monster when drunk).

if i dont go out for 2 weeks, i dont drink for 2 weeks. i associate drinking with going out, so if im not going out i just dont have the urge to

― gareth (gareth), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 07:40 (twenty-three years ago)

You don't actually want to drink, so don't.

― Andrew (enneff), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 08:08 (twenty-three years ago)

Ah but thats one of the Problems. Not wanting to drink is not the same thing as knowing you need to stop/cut back on drinking, otherwise there's no issue really.

Gareth, you're lucky that your drinking mindset is only social, that ain't a problem at all :) I used to be like that too, but somehow it became a drink at home as well thing, and ugh. I'm not sure what my point was now but er yeah.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 08:58 (twenty-three years ago)

Some good suggestions so far--much love and support, Di! I'd add not just ginger ale but the really strong Reed's Ginger Ale...it's yummy and you have to drink it slow. Unfortunately it's about as expensive as good beer. Otherwise the money motivator is very good. Try lots of road trips...explore your area, drive to the nearest art museum and spend some time there, etc.

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 09:19 (twenty-three years ago)

Di, well done and the best of luck with keeping it up. Do try to find ways to go out and have a good time, somewhere other than bars if that would be as difficult as I imagine. You need to go and have fun and hang with friends and stuff.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 11:58 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm with you on this, Di - I've been making fruit smoothies for the last 14 days to stave off the caffeine/alcohol demons.

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 12:01 (twenty-three years ago)

Fruit has lost it's lustre somewhat.

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 12:01 (twenty-three years ago)

Good luck - it does get better although it can get immensely BORING for a while.

I have decided to give up the BEER for a while. I shall not be giving up alcohol though. Just moving onto more sensible drinks that do not break my brain (last night was particularly broken) like gin and tonic/TVR/lighter fluid/babycham. Therefore tonight DO NOT LET ME HAVE A PINT.

― Sarah (starry), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 12:04 (twenty-three years ago)

Nordic, if you're feeling the caffeine twinge, take an aspirin or paracetamol, it settles the feeling and actually works for people who want to quit smoking too.

Also good for detox: steam room, sauna, Turkish bath. Drink loads of water in situ and don't leave until you've had a whole 1.5L bottle of still water.

― suzy (suzy), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 12:05 (twenty-three years ago)

Best of luck, di. Do you like fruity frozen drinks? You can make or order virgin ones. Try to get all the alcohol out of your house so it's not there when you crave it.

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 12:12 (twenty-three years ago)

i am pretty sure that anthony has entered monastic training.

― dan (dan), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 15:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Asprin or tylenol frequently have caffeine in the pills, so that's good if you want to break the association with coffee or soda, but bad if you want to avoid caffeine. Check the label.

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 15:02 (twenty-three years ago)

Hey Di! Keep going! You can do it!

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 15:05 (twenty-three years ago)

I'd like to officially join Di on the wagon.

Last night, I got told one time too many by someone I really respect that they do not like me at all when I am drunk (and I was drunk last night, well tipsy anyway). It was the last fucking straw. I feel humiliated, weak and useless.

I don't know if I can do this, but fuckitalltohell I am going to try.

Good luck - it does get better although it can get immensely BORING for a while.

I'm glad you mentioned this Sarah - this is my biggest fear and a large reason why I havent been able to do this succesfully before. I get bored easily and so I drink. Now that I write that down it seems so daft, so I guess thats a good start.

I'm depressed that it had to come to this for me, but determined to make it work. So here's hoping!

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 22:16 (twenty-three years ago)

thanks everyone for the support and advice. i really related to what kate said about performing and drinking. practising and soundcheck sober is no problem. but somehow, when the lights go down and theres heaps of people staring at me expecting me to entertain them, dutch courage has gotten me through. i played my first gig sober a couple of weeks ago and it was fucking horrible. other than that, the first couple of weeks sober were okay. until a couple of days ago. i'm really down and i've been dying to just wash it all away with some lindauer. i used to be able to blame my self-loathing on booze, but it turns out i hate myself when i'm sober too. i guess i should just remember that at least when i'm sober, i have that measure of self-control. what trayce said about using booze to unwind at the end of the day struck a chord with me. i need to find a more productive way of unwinding, and right now i feel like a big pent-up highly strung thing. but you guys and my real life friends make it that much easier. :-)

trayce i have just seen your post. if you want to e-mail me from time to time about your progress, you are welcome to. i am determined to give up for good this time, so if i can share that spirit around i will.

― di smith (lucylurex), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 22:21 (twenty-three years ago)

I was going to suggest the same thing Di :) Lets do this thang!

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 22:27 (twenty-three years ago)

Trayce and Di, I am so jealous of your determination to do this. I have been told more often than I can remember (or not) that I am an unmitigated pain in the arse when I drink too much. The problem I have is that sometimes I drink just enough, and that is a great feeling, but I don't always know when to stop and that's when the great feeling goes and I just feel like shit. But I always feel the good times outweigh the bad, and that I can know when enough is enough. I don't get it right often enough though...

Good luck both of you.

― ailsa (ailsa), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 22:38 (twenty-three years ago)

Thanks ailsa - yeah, I know what you mean about the good times outweighing the bad, and thats how it should be when you are a fun and responsible social drinker. But when it slowly moves over That Line into "I cant stop at one drink" or "I am becoming a wanker when I am drunk" then its time to re-asses, and sadly thats where I'm at.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 14 May 2003 23:17 (twenty-three years ago)

hey di your sober gig was really great - your new songs rocked the phil oakey. if yr feeeling down come watch more simpsons and john waters videos. pleeez do not avoid social occasions - who the hell else will i talk trash and robot dance with if your not around?

― ducklingmonster, Wednesday, 14 May 2003 23:48 (twenty-three years ago)

Hi Di, I've been sober for about 3 weeks, and I've never felt better, good luck to you! The most amazing thing was going to a club, not ordering a drink, and having a great time! Not getting belligerent or maudlin, etc. being able to actually think clearly both at night AND the morning after, not being scared of what other mess getting drunk will get me into... As long as I can keep this up, my life is markedly improved.

― Sean (Sean), Thursday, 15 May 2003 00:32 (twenty-three years ago)

I've been sober for about 3 weeks, and I've never felt better

This is the kind of thing I like to hear. It gives me something to look forwards too (I gonna stop smoking too, so I should feel good quicksmart I hope!).

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 15 May 2003 01:21 (twenty-three years ago)

Good luck, y'all.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 15 May 2003 03:07 (twenty-three years ago)

Good luck Di, thank you for the cd. I will send you a postcard.

― isadora (isadora), Thursday, 15 May 2003 03:54 (twenty-three years ago)

go di you can do it.it is scary playing straight but you have done it .good for u

― hellbaby (hellbaby), Thursday, 15 May 2003 06:58 (twenty-three years ago)

Skipping 81 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

dropped of= dropped off. I cant type.

― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 22 June 2003 23:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Well I'm happy to say I *still* haven't had a drink; even though I did do something else this weekend... sometimes I just can't face reality.

― Sean (Sean), Monday, 23 June 2003 00:47 (twenty-two years ago)

thats okay sean, i don't think its cheating. good going. thanks again to everyone for the encouragement.

― di smith (lucylurex), Monday, 23 June 2003 00:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Yay Di! Not drinking is a good thing.

― maryann (maryann), Monday, 23 June 2003 05:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't think I'm too bad of an alcoholic, but I do have to watch my blood sugar. I'm ridiculously hypoglycemic, and hyperactive on top of that, and I react very badly to sugar or the lack of carbs, and drinking exacerbates this. I easily get moody, pissy, unreasonable, tired, etc etc etc. (Read some of my former posts for evidence.) So when I started in on the vodka last night with only a thin homemade turkey sandwich in my stomach, I ended up DESTROYED. I had maybe four drinks, which isn't much considering my tolerance, and nearly blacked out. I had a vicious hangover all day today. And all of this is more due to my blood sugar than it is to the alcohol itself. Gotta watch that shit.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Monday, 23 June 2003 05:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Sherbert Herbert I am a Chinaman and I am poisoning you! You don't know.

― maryann (maryann), Monday, 23 June 2003 05:18 (twenty-two years ago)

You could at least find something that rhymes with my actual last name.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Monday, 23 June 2003 05:20 (twenty-two years ago)

You know, I never thought about blood sugar being a cause of bad drunkenness/bad hangovers. It may explain so much...

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 23 June 2003 06:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Di, your nervousness before you play a gig is very endearing. You should be nervous all the time, you make it look good!

Evryone, you should have seen her and Duane play! They were great!

― rainy (rainy), Monday, 23 June 2003 07:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Kenan is yr name like Hey-bear?

― That Girl (thatgirl), Monday, 23 June 2003 07:06 (twenty-two years ago)

'cause in new zealand we pronounce sherbet "shay-bear"

― duane, Monday, 23 June 2003 07:17 (twenty-two years ago)

hey thanks rainy!

― duane, Monday, 23 June 2003 07:17 (twenty-two years ago)

the ITs shd come to Melborune

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 23 June 2003 07:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Rainy you're here! That is brilliant.

― maryann (maryann), Monday, 23 June 2003 07:23 (twenty-two years ago)

i wish i could see di and duane play. Di is hot. :(

― That Girl (thatgirl), Monday, 23 June 2003 07:24 (twenty-two years ago)

They could come to Auckland first, that'd be great!

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Monday, 23 June 2003 07:27 (twenty-two years ago)

It's true that Di is hot, but have you seen Duane's fighting cat act?

― maryann (maryann), Monday, 23 June 2003 07:27 (twenty-two years ago)

"act"?

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Monday, 23 June 2003 07:28 (twenty-two years ago)

i dunno? don't drink?

― doom-e, Monday, 23 June 2003 07:58 (twenty-two years ago)

duane we need to rob a bank so we can tour the world and give everyone a piece of us. then andrew and elisabeth can have my boobs, since my boobs are called elisabeth and andrew. ddg can have my teeth and jim, you get both my eyeballs.

― di smith (lucylurex), Monday, 23 June 2003 22:35 (twenty-two years ago)

man its great to see maryann and rainy on old ilx again.

― di smith (lucylurex), Monday, 23 June 2003 22:38 (twenty-two years ago)

ooh eyeballs

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 23 June 2003 22:41 (twenty-two years ago)

i thought about just giving you all a lock of my hair, but that would be creepy.

― di smith (lucylurex), Monday, 23 June 2003 22:55 (twenty-two years ago)

for you or us?

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 23 June 2003 23:03 (twenty-two years ago)

INGRATE!

― di smith (lucylurex), Monday, 23 June 2003 23:15 (twenty-two years ago)

would you like a CD instead? we do a rip-roaring cover of "its only love", by bryan adams!

― di smith (lucylurex), Monday, 23 June 2003 23:27 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah cd swop! do you want a t'boat cd?

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 23 June 2003 23:56 (twenty-two years ago)

yes please!

― di smith (lucylurex), Monday, 23 June 2003 23:58 (twenty-two years ago)

dear everyone else i have promised CDs to ie jel, sarah, ned, i have not forgotten, and the covers are getting made today so they will be in the post v soon!

― di smith (lucylurex), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Yay yay! :-) Di, if you like -- send me an extra copy (and I will pay for it natch) and I will get that to the AMG so the cover and all the details can get in there. Er, if it's a 'professional' CD -- they're leery of adding CDR only releases.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 00:11 (twenty-two years ago)

:-( it is CDR.

― di smith (lucylurex), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 00:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Hm! Well, I will at least get a review in if I can, but getting a full entry with cover etc. might be out of the question for now.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 00:55 (twenty-two years ago)

ned, you are too kind to me!

― di smith (lucylurex), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 02:41 (twenty-two years ago)

:-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 02:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Kenan is yr name like Hey-bear?

Ay-bear. All French-like. Cajun, if you must know. Or less charitably, coon-ass.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 02:51 (twenty-two years ago)

I know a Marc Hebert.

― That Girl (thatgirl), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 02:53 (twenty-two years ago)

There's a cajun musician named Adam Hebert, which might be why I assumed the pronunciation and origins were as you now confirm.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 11:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I am trying to go one day without drinking & that day is today. This will not impress anybody but me, but if I give in during the few hours left before bedtime I will still deserve a spanking.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 19:18 (twenty-two years ago)

i thought about just giving you all a lock of my hair, but that would be creepy

i'm letting you off easy! i was gonna ask for the whole wig!

― Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 19:26 (twenty-two years ago)

(p.s., i'll settle for a copy of yr soon-to-be-classic lp)

― Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Wednesday, 25 June 2003 19:27 (twenty-two years ago)

eleven months pass...

Hey ex-drinkers! Are you stil ex-drinkers? Was it easy?

Hope so. Any tips?

― Ttotal, Wednesday, 9 June 2004 11:34 (twenty-one years ago)

just don't say yes?

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Wednesday, 9 June 2004 14:49 (twenty-one years ago)

have a drink, no one likes a quitter

― chris (chris), Wednesday, 9 June 2004 14:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I have loads of tips. I'm on a not-drinking binge at the moment myself. But... erm... I'm tired and don't feel like typing it all out right now.

― Possibly Kate Again (kate), Wednesday, 9 June 2004 14:53 (twenty-one years ago)

it's not easy at first but for me it's much easier than drinking was. write me if you want to discuss it.

― dan (dan), Wednesday, 9 June 2004 14:56 (twenty-one years ago)

two weeks pass...

nearing the three-week mark again. i'm glad i remembered this thread, rereading it is encouraging.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Saturday, 26 June 2004 01:22 (twenty-one years ago)

hi di! i am not following ilx's advice AT ALL, but god bless you and all nz.

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Saturday, 26 June 2004 01:33 (twenty-one years ago)

The only thing that has ever worked for me is just avoiding drinking situations completely (n/a if you enjoy drinking privately or alone). I'm closing in on a couple of years (mostly) sober, so it's worked thus far. Much love to people with the willpower to be around booze and abstain, I am mightily impressed.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Saturday, 26 June 2004 02:32 (twenty-one years ago)

I hate this thread, it reminds me how crap I am at this!

I had an ultrasound the other day, as Ive been having side pains and tiredness they think could be gallstones or a liver thing. The blood tests came back ok but with raised enzyme levels due to alcohol (or it could be due to paracetamol abuse too - thats a whole other story Im sure some of you know about). Im back to regular drinking but I dont get SMASHED anymore, and I dont touch weed at all, which is great. I dunno... Im very aware of it and do what I can to minimise damage (day on, day off drinks, lots of water and milkthistle supplements). It isnt easy, and I hate that.

― Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 26 June 2004 03:24 (twenty-one years ago)

trayce, don't feel like you are crap for not being able to stay off booze. its really hard to do, as so many people here can attest.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Saturday, 26 June 2004 05:15 (twenty-one years ago)

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