Sex - Blood - Etiquette

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Okay, so what's the etiquette?

If I'm being gently seduced by some guy and I'm at the tail end of my period - do I tell him before we have sex?

If there was lots of blood or he wanted to go down on me I would tell him, but if he's using his fingers and penis and there's only a bit of blood should I still?

It wouldn't be too hard to say "I'm at the end of my period so there might be a bit of blood" - but somehow it feels like it could break the mood a bit.

― toraneko (toraneko), Sunday, 18 May 2003 03:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Sex during period = v. good, btw.

― toraneko (toraneko), Sunday, 18 May 2003 03:49 (twenty-two years ago)

I think the belief that talking during sex is some mood-breaker is a dangerous one. I understand the inhibiton but whatever ingrained social custom we have that causes it should be taken out back and shot.

Also a little blood ain't gonna scare most guys away from gettin' a little somethin' somethin'.

― bnw (bnw), Sunday, 18 May 2003 04:24 (twenty-two years ago)

excellent thread title by the way

― slutsky (slutsky), Sunday, 18 May 2003 04:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Not a moodbreaker if you want to say something, as long as you don't make a big deal out of it. Not a big deal in the first place, anyway.

― Douglas (Douglas), Sunday, 18 May 2003 04:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Should be mentioned.
Shouldn't affect anything.

― oops (Oops), Sunday, 18 May 2003 05:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Tell him you're a virgin.

― jm (jtm), Sunday, 18 May 2003 05:54 (twenty-two years ago)

it'd be cool to find out unexpectedly. I can't say it's ever happened to me, but it'd be cool. but then, I kinda like pretending to be a vampire.

most people tell ahead of time. it doesn't really break the mood. if you're with a guy you know actually likes it, I think you should surprise him.

― martin m. (mushrush), Sunday, 18 May 2003 06:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Use this poem:
" I love how your man -flesh excites me, I know how you want to eat pie. But Still you must know of a magic, a sacred blood flowing from I. If you want me to tossle and deflower, then good sir, do enter at will. But if your rod emerges in crimson design, I do not want to hear your cry shrill."

― Mike Hanle y (mike), Sunday, 18 May 2003 13:00 (twenty-two years ago)

It's a moodbreaker if you want to talk about stuff extrinsic to the sex!

― Cozen (Cozen), Sunday, 18 May 2003 13:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I kinda think he should just have to deal w/it, really. Such is the price of the vagina! Doesn't bother me, at all.

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Sunday, 18 May 2003 13:16 (twenty-two years ago)

If you don't know how the person might react, I think it's wise to mention it. Some men are repulsed by it. I'm sure we agree that they shouldn't be, but that's another question. You either mention it calmly before things heat up, offer sex in the shower (one former partner of mine was only interested in having sex during her period in the shower, which seemed odd but I was happy to oblige), or when passions are starting to rise you whisper something like "I really want you now [that bit to try not to damage the mood] but it's the end of my period and I'm not positive there won't be any blood" or some such.

I don't know how you could be sure he won't move to go down on you if none of this is mentioned.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 18 May 2003 13:33 (twenty-two years ago)

yes.

the rest of you kids, you are missing the point. This is a HEALTH question, not a sex question.

You absolutely should tell him. It would probably help to tell him when you are not about to get busy so you don't spoil the "mood". Let HIM decide if he wants to expose himself to your blood/menses. Why shouldn't he have the choice?

I know I wouldn't like it if someone handed me something and THEN SAID, "oh, by the way, I think there's blood on that."

― BurmaKitty (BurmaKitty), Sunday, 18 May 2003 13:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh I don't know... is general vaginal secretion so much healthier than blood?

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Sunday, 18 May 2003 13:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I guess BK is talking about unsafe sex, and I imagine it's true that blood would make it less safe. Obviously I don't know enough to speculate as to whether condoms are or are not used: if so, I think the health issue vanishes.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 18 May 2003 13:41 (twenty-two years ago)

most people don't use condoms on their face or hands (ie rubber gloves, plastic wrap or dental dams) when exploring the area, although it would be prudent to do so.

still, I don't see why you wouldn't give the guy the option if you were actually menstruating. let it be his call.

― BurmaKitty (BurmaKitty), Sunday, 18 May 2003 14:21 (twenty-two years ago)

if he knows how to eat pussy properly he shouldn't stray any further from my clit y'all/Ned.

― Anne, Sunday, 18 May 2003 14:24 (twenty-two years ago)

That's just not true, Anne.

― Cozen (Cozen), Sunday, 18 May 2003 14:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Burma Kitty is spot on. Certain sorts of diseases, if present, are a lot more concentrated in blood than vaginal secretions. I think the considerate thing to do is to let your partner know.

Anne, that is not a universal rule.

I can't quite figure out how I feeling about talking/not talking during sex (in the broad sense). It can be good either way, but I think there are at least stretches of time when talking would be an interruption. Sometimes interruptions are okay, too, like when my girlfriend and I both start laughing after something goes wrong or something funny happens.

― Rockist Scientist, Sunday, 18 May 2003 15:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Talking during sex - It's good to be able to communicate but I can't talk and climax at the same time, it's too distracting (the talking, that is).

I don't like to talk although I do sometimes whisper things but I only half want my partner to hear coz they're more fantasy things than reality things.

I'm quite happy for my partner to talk but it can be a bit distracting if they are asking questions that require answers and I'm not sure what answer they want - as in whether they're happy with "yes I like that" or "yes it feels good" or whether they're trying to get me to talk dirty and say something like "Oh yes baby, give it to me harder. Oh you're so big, pump me some more, you bad man".

― toraneko (toraneko), Sunday, 18 May 2003 15:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Crikey!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Sunday, 18 May 2003 15:58 (twenty-two years ago)

i had a girl not mention her bloody tendencies to me once. it was only like the 3rd time we were together, i noticed that there was blood on the counter (we were in a washroom) and all over my fingers n my junk.

at first i was all eeeewww (in my head) but realized quickly i was getting layed and i stopped carring fast. i even cleaned afterwards.

had she mentioned it before hand i'm not sure if i'd have gone ahead with plans or not – i might have just put in a formal request for a blow job instead. it depends i guess – i might've done it anyways – everyones gotta get layed.

― dyson (dyson), Sunday, 18 May 2003 16:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Anne, I weep for what must have been your poor experiences with being eaten out in the past. Hopefully a nice person will step up to the plate and show ya how it's done.

― That Girl (thatgirl), Sunday, 18 May 2003 19:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, very good title. Haven't had anything remind me of the Shamen that much in weeks! (Did I just contradict myself?)

Sex - Blood - Etiquette
Comin' on like a Crepe Suzette
SBE define the Soul Beast Event
To make Mind Body and Soul well-content

Or something.

― OleM (OleM), Sunday, 18 May 2003 21:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm at the tail end of my period

The part where you go looking for tail? (do girls look for tail??)
[insert better jokes here]

― oops (Oops), Sunday, 18 May 2003 21:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I've got a semi-related question. This dude and I wanted to get at it last week but I was bleeding. In the middle of my period there's a sort of eye-of-the-hurricane dry spell, and it was this time, so I figured we were safe. I warned him about it, he agreed gladly to proceed, but when the moment came I was so TIGHT. He could get a finger in but not much else. Normally I'm not that tight in a regular, unaroused moment. What happened? Can anyone help?

― Fivvy (Fivvy), Sunday, 18 May 2003 21:25 (twenty-two years ago)

I just have to say I'm suprised quite a few guys have said they're not grossed out by periods at all. Ive had guys say its all cool to them, but its me who can't quite feel comfy with the idea (what if its not just blood? What if its that icky end-of-period gloppy stuff? What if he says hes ok but is secretly grossed out etc etc) and I just can't relax the same way :( I know thats not good and I shouldnt be ashamed of such things but I cant help it...

― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 18 May 2003 21:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Women often get very dry and sort of sticky around that time, Fivvy, in my limited experience.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 18 May 2003 21:35 (twenty-two years ago)

It might be respectfull to bring it up just for the sake of his sheets. If he has an expensive bedspread or something dryclean only he may prefer to add a protective layer or do in elsewhere. Cue couch.

I think the STD/safe sex point has been brought up.

― Jes (Jes), Sunday, 18 May 2003 21:47 (twenty-two years ago)

once this girl asked me to eat her out, and her cunt was blleding in huge roten chucks and then i saif this is fucking disgusting and why dont you just eat some bleeding shit out of my fucking ass you slut, and she told me it was all because she ate a really rare steak, so that s why her cunt was tlike that, i just made her lick it all off my cock after and then i said thats your babys brains.

― ass eater johnson, Sunday, 18 May 2003 22:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Trayce: it kinda goes without saying that if the guy says it's cool and is then grossed out it's TOO BAD FOR HIM. Generally speaking, the last thing I'm thinking about before fucking is whether or not there's gonna be stuff on my sheets. Blood washes out, and if you do have a stain it can be a happy reminder.

― Bryan (Bryan), Sunday, 18 May 2003 22:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Since fivvy brought it up, I'll offer my experience, which I've not seen mirrored on the board (and my, we do talk about sex on the rag quite a bit it seems): the boyfriend is quite squeamish about blood and related but he's also a good sport and quite horny, but the few times we've tried it, it hasn't worked out well for me. I feel like my cervix is swollen or something, and he bumps up against it more, so it ends up being too painful to be worthwhile. (He's a bit big on the best of days anyway.) Also it seems to prolong my period by a day or too...no fun. (p.s. I also get that eye of the hurricane sitch.)

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 19 May 2003 00:41 (twenty-two years ago)

A) Mention it. Better to know before hand than to look down and worry about having ruptured something. Really. (To say nothing about the health/safe sex issue.)

B) I've found that orgasms during my period tend to lessen the intensity and duration of menustral cramping.

C) About the "dryness" during the period - I also ahve this problem - dry-up and the muscles contract - just calls for some lube and some prolonged finger exploration by my partner (and I am not gonna bitch about that requirement).

D) I am quite pleased to see how many on here are not repulsed by the thought of menustral blood.

E) And for Anne, about the oral sex - honey, I'm sorry you feel that way - I need the clit involved if I'm going to reach climax, but oral sex without cruising for the orgasm is not something to be overlooked.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Monday, 19 May 2003 01:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Interesting, I find sex just before a period brings it on and makes me cramp more. At least it seems thats whats happening...

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 19 May 2003 01:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I heart the sex during the period. I am so damn horny then it's not even funny.

I respect everyone's choices etc. blah blah, HOWEVER, if a guy has a problem with this completely common situation then that's an automatic downside in my book. I mean he might as well go ahead and tell me he's Republican for god's sakes!

― That Girl (thatgirl), Monday, 19 May 2003 05:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Amen sistah.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 19 May 2003 05:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I've known guys who didnt know which hole we pee out of, so being ok with periods would probably be waayyy beyond them. Bloody sad really, they must have grown up with no sisters/mother figures...

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 19 May 2003 06:14 (twenty-two years ago)

this isn't really a question. just bring in some towels, make sure he wears a condom (which you probably do anyway, right?) and PRESTO!

― M Matos (M Matos), Monday, 19 May 2003 06:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Tell first. Intercourse should never be a problem, but oral treats might not be on the menu.
Several years ago a period caught both of us off guard once when midway through a particularly athletic romp through several rooms (I had already gone down), I noticed my equipment was bright red.
We had a good laugh, noted that it was Hallowe'en and all that and then moved to the shower.
But it was Hallowe'en. So it was funny. But for like two seconds, I thought I had done serious damage. Because there was a lot of it, and men really don't associate blood (or blood-like female secretions, I'm not 100% clear on the whole menstruation thing, but I'm okay with that) with anything other than (typically violent) injuries.
So, I can say, if you're with a longterm/regular/steady partner, then the period should not pose a problem for the dude. But if a guy has not been around a woman for a while, then menstruation is far from the top of his mind, and if he hasn't been forewarned and he sees blood, I think a mild reaction should be tolerated.

― HoraceMann, Monday, 19 May 2003 07:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Tell him for the sake of courtesy and openness, but there's no reason why it should make any kind of difference.

― Mark C (Mark C), Monday, 19 May 2003 08:58 (twenty-two years ago)

i think a bit of talking is a good idea if you going to be intimate with the lad. there is some basic technical aspects to the whole beast with 2 backs thing, re: persons individual tastes that is always good to mention anyhow so a little bit of information viz the waxing and waning of your menstrul moon would not necessarily put said fella off.

if it does he would surely be more freaked by the prospect of some haemoglobin on the end of his latex truncheon, so your best off avoiding any post/mid coital scene.

most likely he will be too nice and sensitive and that might put tamper with the animalistic mentatility of your passion.

― arthur woodlouse (arthur woodlouse), Monday, 19 May 2003 10:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Anne, I weep for what must have been your poor experiences with being eaten out in the past...

weep being the operative word in this thread.

― ken c, Monday, 19 May 2003 12:42 (twenty-two years ago)

three years pass...

Andrew - hepatitis C is transmitted by blood not other body fluids AFAIK, however apparently it is a very low risk of being transmitted this way from sexual contact.

― spectra (spectra), Saturday, 5 August 2006 02:14 (nineteen years ago)

Are there any other diseases that would be present in the blood, but not in vaginal fluids?

― lurker #2421, inc. (lurker-2421), Saturday, 5 August 2006 04:18 (nineteen years ago)

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