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In absence of any transvestite air hostesses singing disco torch songs, Tatu will just have to do.

― j0e (j0e), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 12:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Have you heard the British entry? I theenk it steenks. We will bomb.

― j0e (j0e), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 12:36 (twenty-two years ago)

so tatu walkover OR will all the former communist states go "eff that, i'm not voting for those russian gets" and the scando-baltic cartel get another win.

have yet to hear jemini, or the tatu entry, apparently the organisers have some pre-recorded footage they can go to if tatu get too naughty!

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 12:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I hope they win, cos I've got them in the Eurovision auction we had, for the party I'm going to on sat. I heard they were filming the rehearsal, so if they got too raunchy they would put that on instead. They've already thrown a strop, one of them's got a bad throat, and they were threatened with disqualification if they didn't go through with the rehearsal.

― Vicky (Vicky), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 12:57 (twenty-two years ago)

you'd think a spot of lezzing-up would be nowt after Iceland's bondage entry back in the mid-90s.

I can't wait to find out what the hosts will be like. I loved last years because they were crackers and kept singing to each other.

ILX, deux points

― j0e (j0e), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 12:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Latvia's song Invaders From Mars is good. Smart money on Malta again (as a prize for entering Europe.

― Pete (Pete), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 12:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm just going to have to post again to say how awful our entry is. It makes Love City Groove look like Roots Manuva. Luckily, we can't be relegated as we pay for the bloody thing

― j0e (j0e), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 12:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I haven't heard any of the entries but I shall be in Brussels watching it all! Anyone know any good (ie gay) bars that will be showing it?
A coworker was looking at an internet news site with the headline 'Tatu in mock lesbian threat to Eurovision', which sounds good to me.

― liz (lizg), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 13:05 (twenty-two years ago)

From the few seconds they have of it on the trailer, I'd say ours is a full-on house-stinker-outer. It will probably come about 6th.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 13:09 (twenty-two years ago)

"Their management had earlier written to the show's organisers questioning some of the Eurovision rules.

They reportedly asked whether the performers would have to wear clothes on stage."

Crikey missus it's enough to make a man turn Calum.

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 13:50 (twenty-two years ago)

I do feel duty bound to point out that there will be cod-live coverage of the extravaganza on Sick & Tired Of Watching Shite.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 14:48 (twenty-two years ago)

OK, what's everybody's favourite Eurovision tune ever? For me it has to be a tie between "J'aime le Vie" by Sandra Kim and the one by the tranny air hostesses

― j0e (j0e), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 15:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Le Pap Penguin by some Finnish losers back in the dawn of time.

or Hombres by some sultry Spanish woman in the early '90s.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 16:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Eurovision! yay! I shall also write about it.

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 16:30 (twenty-two years ago)

"Waterloo" or "Making your mind up", I'm afraid.

― Mark C (Mark C), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 16:53 (twenty-two years ago)

has anybody seen the austrian contender? alf poier or something? he's completely bonkers! i love his song, i couldn't believe what i saw when they showed the video on telly.
it was almost as good as the greek band last year (the ones with mad max/robot outfits).

― joan vich (joan vich), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 17:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I suspect that whatever Tatu do is likely to be the best thing ever on this contest. As Tim H pointed out, what we need is a Commonwealth Song Contest, with the likes of India and various Caribbean and African nations.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 17:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm convinced that TATU won't win. I must go to the Eurovision site and hear their song.

My fave was that German dude from a few years ago.

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 18:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Guildo Horn!

http://www.guildo-horn.com/bilder/frieden.jpg

― robster (robster), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 19:05 (twenty-two years ago)

According to the proposed constitution, Eurovision will be used to decide the EU presidency.

― Judge Mentalist (Judge Mentalist), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 20:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Although I do like the Austrian song, I am duty bound to point out that the singer is a prop comic. That's right -- a vote for him is a vote for Carrot Top.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 20:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I broke my golden rule this year and have watched a couple of those Liquid Eurovision previews prior to the big event. So far it's Tatu for me, but I haven't heard all of them.

I did my Eurovision top ten on another thread I think, but here it is again:

1. Selma - "All out of luck" (Icelandic entry cruelly pipped by Sweden in one of the greatest miscarriages of justice in history).
2. France Gall's "Poupee de cire, poupee de son" (Luxembourg), penned by the almighty Serge G.
3. Gina G - Ooh aah just a little bit, the last time I rooted for my the UK.
4. Telex - Eurovision (Belgian entry predating new beat by several years)
5. Severine - un banc, une arbre, une rue, 197-something.
6. Baccara - Parlez-vous Francais?
7. Abba - Waterloo
8. The Latvian entry two years ago, it was shit but it did feature the line "I vote for beer" which struck a chord.
9. Let it swing and let it rock n'roll - Bobbysox (Norway)
10. I wanna be a Polar Bear (or whatever it was called) (Israel)

― Tag (Tag), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 20:31 (twenty-two years ago)

t.A.T.u. say that if they win they'll marry and go live in an abandoned bordello!

No, really!

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 22:08 (twenty-two years ago)

So how did Gina G get away with being the UK's entry that year when she's actually Australian? I vaguely recall an explanation at the time but I've forgot it.

Am looking forward to watching on TV in Aus this year - we're going to have Des Managan commentating and he's a hoot, so it could be very amusing. If I remember it's on.

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 22 May 2003 02:12 (twenty-two years ago)

It's the songwriter's nationality that counts apparently, hence Celine Dion appearing for Switzerland

― Vicky (Vicky), Thursday, 22 May 2003 07:47 (twenty-two years ago)

yes, ditto katrina and the waves. eurovision is tres rockist in that it's all about the songwriting, not the performances (in theory anyhoo).

my fave would be plucky bardo with "one step further" the year after bucks fizz.

eurovision also classic due to great staying up late (at least when you're under ten anyway) potential...

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Thursday, 22 May 2003 07:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh dear I have just realised that this year I will have to watch Eurovision without subtitles due to having an old telly! Mmm, subtitles. Sous-titres as I believe they say in France.

Katrina from Her Waves said in the Metro that she thought Eurovision was crap and wanted to be Chrissie Hynde instead. Eugh!

― Sarah (starry), Thursday, 22 May 2003 08:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Oooo I'm all excited now. Apparently the German entrant has had botox injections and gone on a diet because Tatu called her a "crusty old hag" and said "In Russia, we look after the blind and the elderly, we don't send them to Eurovision."

Ha ha. I can't wait.

― j0e (j0e), Saturday, 24 May 2003 14:34 (twenty-two years ago)

I have never been so intent on getting the fuck out of the house tonight.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Saturday, 24 May 2003 14:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, I hate fun.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Saturday, 24 May 2003 14:46 (twenty-two years ago)

And t.A.T.u. reduced Gemma (Jemini) to tears because she thought Julia fancies her. (And Julia was stalking her.)

― Cozen (Cozen), Saturday, 24 May 2003 14:46 (twenty-two years ago)

"In Russia, we look after the blind and the elderly, we don't send them to Eurovision."

the first part of this sentence is obv false,
and the second part is only partially true -- they did send the badly-aging alla Pugatchova to Eurovisision a few years ago, ha

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Saturday, 24 May 2003 15:17 (twenty-two years ago)

...yeh that, y'kno, eU-Eu-visisisi-sso-so-so-la-di-da damn thing, whatever it's called :-)

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Saturday, 24 May 2003 15:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Remember that time Eurovision was being presented by Mick Fleetwood and Samantha Fox, and as one song finished an extremely sloshed Terry Wogan announced 'ah yes, and now we go back to Dr Death and the Tooth Fairy'.

― C J (C J), Saturday, 24 May 2003 17:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Did they ever present Eurovision? They did the Brits one year.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 24 May 2003 17:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe I've got it wrong, Martin. I expect I'm getting the two things confused - Terry Wogan probably accused some other presenters of being Dr Death and the Tooth Fairy then, but it was definitely during a Eurovision.

― C J (C J), Saturday, 24 May 2003 17:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, I was wrong. I've just done a search on it, and found it was the two Danish presenters (who lamely talked in rhyming couplets all evening) who were labelled thus by our Terry.

― C J (C J), Saturday, 24 May 2003 17:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Curious Americans w/ Real Video are encouraged to go here NOW: http://lsd.newmedia.tiscali-business.com/bb/redirect.lsc?stream=ndr/gp2003.rm&content=live&media=rm (in German and English)

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Saturday, 24 May 2003 18:01 (twenty-two years ago)

oooh......it's started!!!

More wine over here, please!!

― C J (C J), Saturday, 24 May 2003 18:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Iceland -- hell of a singer, shame about the song.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Saturday, 24 May 2003 18:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Austria......hahahahahah!!

He's brilliant

― C J (C J), Saturday, 24 May 2003 18:14 (twenty-two years ago)

He"s got my votes, anyway.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Saturday, 24 May 2003 18:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Ireland has the first BIG MODULATION of the night. Everybody drink up.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Saturday, 24 May 2003 18:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Ireland should do well with that. That Turkish lass is quite enthusiastic, isn't she?

― C J (C J), Saturday, 24 May 2003 18:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Turkey had the moves, if not the high notes. Malta, sadly, has neither.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Saturday, 24 May 2003 18:26 (twenty-two years ago)

And yet another BIG MODULATION.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Saturday, 24 May 2003 18:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Portugal was good..........

― C J (C J), Saturday, 24 May 2003 18:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Agreed.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Saturday, 24 May 2003 18:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd never heard Britney sing in Croatian before...

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Saturday, 24 May 2003 18:36 (twenty-two years ago)

BIG MODULATION conincident with switch to English -- CHUG-A-LUG!!!

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Saturday, 24 May 2003 18:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 30 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Somebody shut that Romanian girl up, for heaven's sake!

― C J (C J), Saturday, 24 May 2003 19:40 (twenty-two years ago)

OK, the way she says "liassshend" for listened and "hyarrrt" for heart is obnoxious, but I kinda like the song.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Saturday, 24 May 2003 19:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Sweden are giving it some welly....

― C J (C J), Saturday, 24 May 2003 19:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I think the Swedes invented the BIG MODULATION, so no surprises here.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Saturday, 24 May 2003 19:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm glad we're finishing with a nonsense song!

He said to me nananana
So naturally he set my heart on fire.....

― C J (C J), Saturday, 24 May 2003 19:49 (twenty-two years ago)

OK, if I weren't in Germany, I'd call in Austria, Estonia, and France in that order.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Saturday, 24 May 2003 19:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I mean if I WERE.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Saturday, 24 May 2003 19:59 (twenty-two years ago)

The official SATOWS write-up will come later -

Head says:

5) Turkey
4) Spain
3) Estonia
2) Russia
1) Norway

Heart says:

5) Belgium
4) Austria
3) Ukraine
2) Turkey
1) Estonia

If it goes to Holland, Sweden, Greece or the UK I will cry.

Nul-point contenders - Belgium, Slovenia, France, Germany, Malta

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Saturday, 24 May 2003 20:08 (twenty-two years ago)

10 POINTS FOR AUSTRIA!! YES!!!!!

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Saturday, 24 May 2003 20:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Not one vote for the UK yet!

― C J (C J), Saturday, 24 May 2003 20:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Malta always votes for us...............

― C J (C J), Saturday, 24 May 2003 20:15 (twenty-two years ago)

I didn't see much of it, but I was glad to catch tATu, despite the ropey vocals from the dark haired one. This is theoretically about the song rather than the performance or arrangement, isn't it? In which case the fact that it's tATu should be more or less irrelevant, and the fact that theirs sounded like a modern pop record shouldn't matter either.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 24 May 2003 20:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Bah! nothing from Malta either. Everybody hates us this.

― C J (C J), Saturday, 24 May 2003 20:18 (twenty-two years ago)

... this year

― C J (C J), Saturday, 24 May 2003 20:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Austria is KICKING ASS!!!

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Saturday, 24 May 2003 20:27 (twenty-two years ago)

HAHA still no points!

― Chip Morningstar (bob), Saturday, 24 May 2003 21:03 (twenty-two years ago)

So there we have it.

Turkey are the winners.

UK = nul points

― C J (C J), Saturday, 24 May 2003 21:10 (twenty-two years ago)

And Austria is freaking sixth. There will be dancing in Vienna tonight. There would have been anyway.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Saturday, 24 May 2003 21:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Hahaha, smirk. Does that mean there'll be no UK entry next year, or is there some loophole for us to avoid relegation?

― Frazer, Saturday, 24 May 2003 21:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Is that the UK's first nil points year? It's pretty poor for the country with the greatest pop history in Europe.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 24 May 2003 22:12 (twenty-two years ago)

...or is there some loophole for us to avoid relegation?

i don't think there is
-- for Great Britain (nor for Estonia, for that matter).

i read the last fifty-or-so posts only after gettting home from friends' place after the (")event("). and after talking, drunkedly, briefly, to a friend of mine - a historian - 'bout Turkish history of the past century... a peculiar country, with a peculiar (recent & earlier) history, for sure.

'a sign of the times'? - heh, dunno! some sort of sign, -- mayhaps.
(it ain't like i think euro"vision" 's explicable by way of any "logic", tho)

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Saturday, 24 May 2003 22:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, we went down like a flipping lead balloon this year, didn't we?

― Ben Mott (Ben Mott), Saturday, 24 May 2003 23:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, we went down like a flipping lead balloon this year, didn't we?

a-ha. that's the GB-royal "we" then (?), evdently

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Saturday, 24 May 2003 23:03 (twenty-two years ago)

The UK is one of a handful of countries who pay for Eurovision, ergo we can't be relegated. But oh I am delighted that we scored nul pwa as Jemini were absolutely fucking appalling. I'm really pleased that Turkey won, too - TUNE

oh and I loved it when that Bosnian woman crashed the scoreboard

― j0e (j0e), Saturday, 24 May 2003 23:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Where did tATu finish?

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 25 May 2003 09:51 (twenty-two years ago)

they finished third.

my dad was really appaled that belgium nearly won. I didn't see it tho'.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Sunday, 25 May 2003 10:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Julio, your dad's OTM. Belgium should have been second to LAST (not first). The performance was AWEFOOL. The newspaper said on friday the entry was meant to escape next year's Eurovision and, thus, save money.hahaha

― nathalie (nathalie), Sunday, 25 May 2003 12:15 (twenty-two years ago)

History always repeats itself, first as a Father Ted script and then as Belgian tragedy.

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 25 May 2003 12:33 (twenty-two years ago)

My votes (they weren't counted):

1 point - Croatia
2 - Germany
3 - Turkey
4 - Estonia
5 - Israel
6 - Ukraine
7 - Norway
8 - Austria
10 - UK
12 - Russia

UK was great. I love out of tune singing. The whole song (apart from some fiddly middle-eight) contained the same note, over and over. I don't know if this was deliberate or if the fuckers just couldn't sing, but it was weirdly effective.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Sunday, 25 May 2003 14:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I got the impression that t.A.T.u. won the phone polls everywhere, and were only brought down by the jury-only votes.

Also it was the second- or third-last rather the last jury who did the classic Eurovision trick of giving the second place 10 points and then giving nothing at all to the leader.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Sunday, 25 May 2003 14:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, my predicting skills are still shit.

That Latvian entry - they REALLY didn't want it next year, did they?

I've got to write it all up after the top 40 anyway. Oh my.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 25 May 2003 15:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I voted for Poland.

Tatu were a bit rubbish.

― jel -- (jel), Sunday, 25 May 2003 16:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't normally approve of "comedy" Eurovision entries but our Austrian friend was some kind of genius. Interviewed on Liquid Eurovision he declared he was considering never going back to Austria before shouting "fuck this contest". We laughed and laughed.

I liked the Romanian one. The ladies in our party went gooey over the Norwegian.

― Tag (Tag), Sunday, 25 May 2003 17:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Heh. The UK entry was so bad it made the nightly news here, they actually made a big deal out of how bad and out of tune it was! Thats pretty impressive ;)

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 26 May 2003 10:38 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah same out here too (NZ), i guess it was a slow news day. the LOSER british LOSER group OF LOSERS were on the TV news responding to accusations of singing out of tune & they said "it wasn't our fault", ha ha yeah i suppose thats true it's not really yr fault if you can't sing in tune.
that was all the newsworthy stuff about it tho, they didn't even tell us who won.

― duane, Monday, 26 May 2003 10:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Did the judge mention at one point that there would be TWO contests per year from now on? Hmmm..

― Ben Mott (Ben Mott), Monday, 26 May 2003 10:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, one to cut down the numbers, then a second one to get the winner. Scoring highly in this one will get you a bye into the second contest, as will actually footing the bill, like the UK does.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 26 May 2003 10:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Jemini were even on the Today Programme this morning explaining their awful performance. They blamed it on the monitors not working properly, so they couldn't hear that they were out of tune; and, they said, they were the only band who hadn't bothered to bring their own in-ear monitors along.

(note for foreigners: the Today Programme is a v. serious breakfast news radio show with lots of in-depth political debate and so on)

― caitlin (caitlin), Monday, 26 May 2003 11:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I was hoping the two contests would be like a Premiership and a First Division.

one great Eurovision thing: the top three songs at the end were all actually pretty good. Maybe there is hope for this competition after all.

I liked the Romanian one.

as did I, and I also liked the song.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Monday, 26 May 2003 11:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I still think it doesn't matter if the UK idiots' intention was to sing tunefully or not. The sound they actually made was much more interesting than if they had been 'perfect'. The sound they made was great.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Monday, 26 May 2003 11:24 (twenty-two years ago)

NYT take

― Mary (Mary), Monday, 26 May 2003 14:37 (twenty-two years ago)

anyone got an extract of that for the non-subscribed? iceland/austria wuz robbed

About how far through was it before you were rooting for nul-points

― Alan (Alan), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 09:51 (twenty-two years ago)

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/39079000/jpg/_39079400_jeminilong.jpg

or thereabouts.

The news.bbc.co.uk caption for that photo is "Jemini had the support of Sir Paul McCartney"

I keep thinking if I stare at the name Sertab Erener long enough, it'll spell something backwards.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 10:09 (twenty-two years ago)

i meant how far through the scoring. it was a few minutes before we realised that we'd got nowt. and then it got nervous near the end when there was a possibility of getting a few points of israel (or something).

― Alan (Alan), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 10:12 (twenty-two years ago)

It does, it spells renere batres, the well-known cabaret singer

― Matt (Matt), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 14:36 (twenty-two years ago)

has her arse just given him an electric shock?

― j0e (j0e), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 17:50 (twenty-two years ago)

About how far through was it before you were rooting for nul-points

About three countries in. I could scarcely contain my delight as the other zeroes leapt off the bottom, before slowly realising I was sat next to (and a guest in the home of) a friend of the song's co-writer. *Gulp*

Lionel Blair, on Liquid Eurovision, blamed Boy Jemeni for gurning into the camera en route to the stage. Shockin'.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 20:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Norway was best. Added bonus = albino chic singer with tree hair.

― Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 20:38 (twenty-two years ago)

A friend of a friend of, Mike. I wouldn't worry about it. I'd have laughed more at the dismal UK showing, but watching them interviewed I realised they're just kids and I couldn't help feeling bad for them. If it had been Sonia my joy would have been unfettered.

― Tag (Tag), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 07:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Lionel Blair, on Liquid Eurovision, blamed Boy Jemeni for gurning into the camera en route to the stage. Shockin'.

Well, that's Stuart Cable ruled out for next year, then.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 12:15 (twenty-two years ago)

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"I love you 100%, yes I do!" - EUROVISION 2003