Leofric
Tiger
Kylie
Gandalf

Three walk out (two of them, lovers, walk out together hand in hand). The winner will be a girl with chin-length blonde hair who is unsure about her sexuality.

Winner: certainly not Ysobel although I ph34r MC Neat might be thrown out for fighting with Pike.

Paddy.

Marcellus
Estelle
Saul
Mabel
Brice
Nita
Dale
Elvira
Lancelot
Selina
Ramon
Shania

The winner will be.....Elvira, for obvious reason!

Apparently one of them is called Ce-Ce. IS IT CE CE PENISTON?!

and
Liz

yes, having attempted to get on BBs I, II and III without success, she was heard to announce, "Finally it has happened to me".

-- mark s (mar...), May 23rd, 2003.

my money is on Leofric, he captures the Gay vote and the jobless all in one.

i'm quite excited also, BACK TO BASICS BBIV.

watched curse of BB on channel five last night, which, although obsessed with jade (as per this sort of thing) BARELY MENTIONED helen, who was a much better kind of stoopid surely, i mean, who can forget "i love blinkin', me"

I predict some of them will get on, then they wont then they will and then they wont and then they will and then they wont.
I also predict the few bits of conversation that you really wanna hear will be overdubbed with bird song or the gentle sound of rifle fire

(oh no i forgot its no longer in Bow is it ahhahahahaha)

is this right? is it a hoax?? who can tell! gosh, it's all terribly exciting :))))

aarararraaaarararararraghggghghghghghghhh, NOT AGAIN

I'm not even going on holiday for any of it this year.

OK, now I'm excited.

I'm pretty sure that SUn line up is false.
Emma, there were loads of Pauls, but only one has ever been called Paul. Paul Clarke.

fundamentalist muslim
male-to-female transsexual
lesbian lorry driver
asylum seeker
millwall hooligan
crack dealer
nun
retired colonel
convicted flasher
drag queen
mime artiste
heather mills

Emergency standby housemates: Lauren and Daniel.

The rule on discussing nominations is dropped to ensure more planning and posturing.

The garden is equipped with a pool and a steamroom/sauna.

Geraldine will be voted out first.

One housemate will be removed from the house in the third week after having a nervous breakdown. Another will be unpopular due to extremist political views and will eventually walk out in the interests of his/her own safety after the rows escalate into attempted violence.

One housemate will refuse to leave after being evicted and remains in the diary room before being escorted out of the house by security.

In the sixth week, the housemates will be ordered to all spend 12 hours locked together in the boys/girls bedroom.

Housemates will be allowed extra booze rations on one weekly shopping budget, but none on the next, leaving them to dry out for at least a week.

Two housemates will be star-crossed lovers until one is evicted. Touchingly they will abstain from making love in the house and will capture the hearts of the viewing public. The evictee will be voted back into the house for the final week by phone vote. The evictee comes back with instructions from the producers to tell the hated housemates *exactly* what the public thinks of them before they leave on the final day.

The winner of BB4 will be a bisexual (possibly ethnic) who will use the £70K to pay for their final round of "transformation surgery" - but (ho ho) they will not reveal this until the finale, having slept with two housemates (both male and female)during the nine weeks.

(OK - working with Iain Lee = a curse).

Basil
Frasier
Chandler
Ross
Alf
Tom
Phoebe
Margo
Dorothy
Rose
Blanche
Sophia

Plenty of cheesecake bought every week on the weekly shopping budget, but the abortive gourmet night doesn't allow for waldorf salad.

I'm hoping it's Alf from H&A, "This week I'm nominating Chandler for being a flamin' galah"

alf
alien
predator
jar jar
tiny clanger
the blob
the thing
chocky
the ambassador from alpha centauri
ET
omnipotent baby fr.star trek
the sexy blue tree woman fr. farscape

Dorothy learns Sophia has nominated her: "How could you do this, Ma? Right, when this is over you're going straight to Shady Pines!"

Frasier: "I'm nominating Rose. Nice enough lady, but I can't stand all those damn St. Olaf stories."

Jonathan Creek
Sherlock Holmes (gets thrown out after smuggling in some coke)
Columbo (before he is evicted, he turns around and says: "There's just one more thing..")
Starsky (really misses Hutch)
Hercule Poirot ("How many more times I'm from f***ing Belgium!")
Charlie Chan (number one son is on the production team)

Jessica Fletcher (now we *know* a murder is going to happen)
Maddie Hayes (gets evicted after her annoying habit of slyly addressing the audience whilst talking to a housemate)
Maggie Forbes
Mary Beth Lacey (enjoys intimate chats in the women's washroom)
Jane Tennison (looking for a prime suspect)
One of Charlie's Angels (any one)

Can I just say how revolted I am by this turn of phrase?

Also Ed TAKE YOUR GRIPING TO ANOTHER THREAD YOU CURMUDGEON!

I am so excited.

i was watching some of the audition tapes on e4 the other day, WHAT WERE THEY THINKING??!!!?!! have these people not realised it's possible to *edit* and *re-record* on video cameras, or that actually thinking about what you want to say first might be an idea...

I imagine they were thinking "I'm not going to get on Big Brother, but a bit of public humiliation could get me some cash in the short term"

Jason - a cheeky 22 year old east London bricklayer. Has only joined the show to get away from his whining pregnant girlfriend, and proceeds to break up with her via a televised message from the diary room on Day 2. Branded a 'Love Rat', the public hate him but the other housemates find him charming and charismatic, and forgive him.

Dawn - a 19 year old manicurist from Welwyn Garden City. Refuses to do any washing up as the house is not equipped with rubber gloves and she is scared of breaking a nail. Has forgotten to pack any underwear and is forced to go commando for the duration of the show. Sleeps with Jason on day 3. And day 4. Twice.

Darren - a 26 year old unemployed double glazing salesman from the Forest of Dean, embittered by his lack of success with women. Develops an unrequited crush on Kylie.

Kylie - a 21 year old lapdancer from Oswestry. Is obsessed with the removal of pubic hair, and constantly offers to do Brazilian wax jobs on all the housemates.

Donna - a 35 year old housewife from Manchester, a recovering-but-recently-lapsed-again alcoholic with bondage fantasies and a fetish for Cadbury's cream eggs. After a drunken game of Truth or Dare one evening, made bold by sinking three bottles of cheap red wine, she retires to the girls' bedroom where she performs oral sex on Annabelle (much to the delight of the boys).

Jim - a 53 year old truck driver. He is evicted from the house first when it transpires he has skipped bail after being charged with smuggling illegal immigrants into this country in the back of his Norbert Dessentrangle lorry.

Annabelle - a 33 year old art gallery assistant from South Kensington. After two days she admits to being bulimic, and spends most of the first week throwing up before finally, mercifully, being evicted. Remembers nothing of her lesbian encounter with Donna, and dimly wonders why everyone is giving her knowing looks.

Nigel - a 40 year old insurance clerk who suffers terrible halitosis and flatulence. He is having a midlife crisis, and cries a lot. This endears him to the British public - a good chance he might win.

Baljit - a bossy 38 year old doctor's receptionist from Birmingham. Annoys everyone with her pseudo-medical knowledge and abrupt manner. Darren laces her morning porridge with laxatives on day 4. She spends the rest of that week in the toilet, making bhangra-like moaning noises and convinced she is going to die.

Little H - a 26 year old body builder and drug dealer from Hemel Hempstead with an obsessive compulsive disorder. The other housemates never nominate him for eviction because he is so good at tidying up - he makes it through to the final.

(Okay, not really worth three exclamation marks.)

Gos is cool, coz he's from Southall.

cue "i didn't realise there were two anouskas in the country" comments around every water cooler for the next week...