why i didnt go to the doctor

Seems like there's an awful lot of people whining that they never asked to be born. It's a bit silly to complain about this unless you're planning to kill yourself, but these folks do have a point. Having a child is a completely selfish act -- you're doing it so you can have a kid, but what does the kid get? Eighty or so years saddled with the responsibilities and difficulties that come with merely being alive. And if the kid's the same sort of misfit weirdo-depressive that many of us are, he'll be miserable his whole life just like most of us are, and everything he does to make himself happy less miserable will be self-indulgent and escapist and probably very expensive! The "gift" of life, huh? Thanks, mom.

To who?

Okay, look. I have made a final, irreversible decision not to have kids, but I still think everything you just said is seriously fucked up. I didn't decide not to have kids because life is miserable. It's not -- at least, mine's not, not most of the time. The mind makes a hell of heaven, etc. And having children is not always a selfish act -- it can, in fact, sometimes be a sincere and valuable contribution to the world. Kids can be terrors, sure. But they can be great, too. And whether you think life on this planet is shit ornot, it must continue. So, there's that.

I decided not to have kids not because I'm fucked up, and not because I'm selfish (that always baffled me -- people accusing you of being selfing for saying you DON'T want something), but simply because I have other things to do. Like, for instance, pay attention to he people that are already here, instead of to the very very special ones that I've made.

Anyway, there's this girl. She's 19, and she has two kids. One kid is in kindergarden, which means he's at least five years old, and the math there is disturbing. The other one is about ten months old, and she has told other girls in the office with a certain "aren't-I-naughty" pride that she feeds the baby small bottles of beer to put it to sleep at night. Undiluted beer.

I have learned all of this upsetting information from three of my co-workers who I have lunch with every day. All three have kids. The white girl takes great pride in her baby, but also proudly proclaims the ways in which she takes no responsibility for the child. She gets drunk a lot, and lets her mother raise the kid in the meantime. One of her favorite phrases is, "That's what gramma's are for!" and she says it without a hint of irony. She truly expects someone else to raise her kid for her, and mercifully for the child, she seems to have found someone to do it.

One of the black girls has two kids -- both of which she seems to take reasonable care of, but neither of which she seems terribly dedicated to. I only learned she had kids after weeks of talking to her. And the other black girl seems to have her shit totally together, or at least as much as a desperately poor person can. She works her ass off at the job (certainly more than I do) to support her child, and she doesn't drink, and she doesn't do drugs, and she deeply resents her co-workers' oversharing about feeding their kids beer. "Just 'cause I'm black doesn't mean I'm a fuck-up." She's my hero.

I came home one afternoon from a day of hearing about this awful awful shit, and I was depressed. I was a little indignant, actually. I asked my girlfriend, "How can people be so stupid?!" Her first response was, "Now you know how I felt when I started working at Planned Parenthood." Her next response was, "Because they're poor, and people don't care about poor people. Poor people have never been told anything... not how to avoid getting pregnant, not how to take care of their children, not one single thing. Because the lack of this information is exactly the kind of thing that keeps them poor."

I was convinced, for a whole day afterwards, that having kids was a disgusting, sleazy thing to do. Having kids was gross and money-sucking, and apparently humans don't have the capacity to take proper care of their offspring, and all breeding should be outlawed until we can settle some of the larger issues here.

But then I thought what many parents must think at some point -- if these are the only people who are breeding, I need to get about settling the score post haste. Because I would never treat my kids that way, I would never be such a terrible parent. And I wouldn't. How can smart people sit by and let the stupid people do all the breeding? What kind of world will that lead to?

It's too late for me to consider all this. I'm out of the loop, and besides, I really don't want kids. Not for myself, anyway. But after hanging around the bottom of the barrel parents, I have a lot less contempt for the kinds of parents who stroll their kids around Pottery Barn on Sunday in expensive clothes and expensive strollers. At least they're not feeding their kids beer. And if I were a parent, I'd do them all one better -- no beer, and no Pottery Barn.

But like I said, I have other things to do.

ps you are dumb*

*poor

It's ok not to have kids.

I wonder what happened to duane : /

wsn't he og dunedin?

dunedin didhimin