Bull in a china shop / Bovine Seminal Fluid Extraction Technician

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NickJSouthall: wow
NickJSouthall: a bull in a china shop
NickJSouthall: there actually was one in an antique shop in lancaster today
NickJSouthall: polliss had to kill it
NickJSouthall: gutted
NickJSouthall: that's the best new story of the day
sucette66: i r rosemary
NickJSouthall: hey rosemary
beachballs4sale: how very sad
NedRaggett: Strange
NickJSouthall: a friend of mien sells bull sperm
beachballs4sale: it would be awful to be a bull in a china shop
NickJSouthall: it's very expensive
beachballs4sale: to keep bumping into things and not be able to stop because you're just too big and bulky, and everyone yelling at you
NickJSouthall: really big/sexy bulls can sell their sperm for thousands of pounds a shot
NedRaggett: Can they name their own price?
NickJSouthall: i'm not making this up
NedRaggett: That's a talented bull.
NickJSouthall: i doubt it
NickJSouthall: i think they need agents
Phil Two Hi: hey kirste
NickJSouthall: i think that's what paul does
NedRaggett: Those darn agents!
NickJSouthall: they always take a cut
beachballs4sale: hi phil
NickJSouthall: which can be risky for your avergae sperm-donating bull
NedRaggett: snip snip
NickJSouthall: imagine the poor bugger who has to collect it though
NickJSouthall: they have a fake female bull
NickJSouthall: i mean COW
NickJSouthall: lol
NedRaggett: Eurgh
NickJSouthall: and they tether the bull near it
NickJSouthall: and parade real cows in front of him
NickJSouthall: all sexy like
NedRaggett: Oh dear oh dear
NickJSouthall: till he gets frunpty
MonolithMonsters: brb
NickJSouthall: and then they get him to hump the fake cow
NickJSouthall: inside which there is
NickJSouthall: and this is TRUE paul told me so
NickJSouthall: a little man with a jar and a towel
SeanCarruthers: Back later
NickJSouthall: best job evah
NickJSouthall: bull spunker
NedRaggett: Imagine hiring Tiny Bull Sperm Collecting Men.
NickJSouthall: "it's inside work with no heavy lifting. well, maybe some. if it's a big bull"
NickJSouthall: "here are your goggles and towel and jar"
NedRaggett: Truly not what I expected to be discussing today
NickJSouthall: Masculine-Bovine Seminal Fluid Extraction Technician
NickJSouthall: i bet that's how they advertise
NickJSouthall: "nned to be small and quite brave"
NedRaggett: I think we've disgusted everyone else in the chat. ;-)
NickJSouthall: quite possibly
Aimee7672: I really love walking away from the computer and coming back to things like this - damn y'all crack me up
beachballs4sale: yeah, lunchtime is over now
NickJSouthall: ehehehehehe
NedRaggett: Rah!
NickJSouthall: glad to be of service aimee
Aimee7672: to me or the bull, sug?
NedRaggett: !!!
NedRaggett: El kinko
NickJSouthall: ehehehehe
NickJSouthall: both
NickJSouthall: can we cut and paste this and post it as a thread for all to see?
NedRaggett: John Darnielle!
NedRaggett: Rah!
Aimee7672: I think you have to
NickJSouthall: i'll get to it
NedRaggett: Hey, you have to ask my permission!
NickJSouthall: go on then
NedRaggett: *permission granted*

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 17:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Wow. I'm so proud to have been involved.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 17:14 (twenty-two years ago)

My utterly out of context John Darnielle line is wondrous to see this way. (He had just joined the chat, to explain it.)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 17:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I think this is the second or third posted chat transcript in which my sole contribution is "be right back"

― Chris Barrus (Chris Barrus), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 17:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Ah, what a beautiful resume it would be that were adorned with the "Masculine-Bovine Seminal Fluid Extraction Technician" title under 'previous experience'.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 17:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Use it nickalicious; I'll be your reference!

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 17:21 (twenty-two years ago)

the part that gets me is "need to be small and quite brave"

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 18:01 (twenty-two years ago)

You should go and read the opening passage of Emile Zola's The Earth (I think it's that one) which features a young woman taking a bull to mate with a cow, and her having to give it a literal helping hand. The book was banned in England because of this section.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 10:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Imagine being a chinaman in a bull ring.

― Sam (chirombo), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 11:12 (twenty-two years ago)

I want to hear more about the bull in the shop. Do people in Lancaster also have bees in their bonnet? Do they throw babies out with bathwater?

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 11:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought this was a great story, till I read they shot it dead in the shop.

― Vicky (Vicky), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 11:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Saki to thread!

― Sam (chirombo), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 11:44 (twenty-two years ago)

ANIMAL BEHAVES IN AMUSING MANNER, IS KILLED

― DV (dirtyvicar), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 13:26 (twenty-two years ago)

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