Roland Garros 2003

I have found myself reading lots of interviews with Kim Clijiijijsters.

I started wondering what 'pistol-whipped' meant (literally) the other day when Col. Tim Collins was accused of doing it to an Iraqi officer. Surely a pistol is not the most effective of whips.

Last 16, Monday, if they're both still in it.

Pinefox: true. Perhaps it attains whip-like properties if attached to a length of rope. This is precisely what is currently happening on Court Chatrier.

I'm missing it.

Is Ashley any relation to Zoot Horn Rollo?

Arazi-Kuerten is the stylist's (wet) dream contest, of course. There's an enormous satellite dish on the roof of our building...a trip to Maplin and some Rod Hull-style clambering about and I might be able to watch it.

Did Mikey Chang really cry on Court Chatrier on Tuesday? Good, I've never forgiven him for beating Edberg in that final.

- "What was he doing on the *bloody* roof?"

- "He was fixing the aerial".

(etc)

I would be surprised if a non-seed gets to the quarter final stage in in the women's tournament in any of the four slams.

Yes, I got into the tennis, through tout-mithering by proxy and swapping transactions of Finnissy-like complexity, Pam and I got to see about five hours on Court Phil Chatrier on Friday. All of Zabaleta-El Aynaoui (cracking stuff once Younes got stuck in; Mariano Z showing hitherto unknown finesse around the net... I like this forecourt stuff from the South Americans, I shall be dropping QuickTime footage of his dinks and nudges into my longform video When Clay-Courters Attack), the go-for-a-slash-and-you-missed-it Serena destruction of Schett and the first two-thirds of Agassi disAbeling Xavier. Plenty of screaming Belgians around us for that one, none of whom seemed to be encouraging their man to get to the frickin' net OR DIE on the Sword of Bald Inevitability. I should send Malisse my vid.

As the late afternoon sun threatened to vaporise the factor 25 right off our pasty flesh, we swapped the tickets back with their rightful owners (big shout going out to Caroline and Beatrice, who prefer Magui Serna to, well, almost anything) did a bit of a wander around the grounds then caught the Metro back to the 15eme Arr and some concentrated cooling.

The French TV coverage left a lot to be desired; leaving Costa-Lapentti at a vital stage of the fifth to switch to previewing the French Cup final (which didn't seem to start until HOURS later), positively sniggering at Henman's eating habits and his chances vs Ferrero and just generally NOT being Harry Carpenter, on his own in a bunker, with some bits of paper.

Right, that'll do.

Did I mention above how a freshly dragged and watered clay court seen from 18 rows back in the top tier looks like the sort of mussed-up and still-shedding deep shagpile carpet you might have in a back bedroom - I mean, you wouldn't necessary choose that saturated orange yourself, but if it was there when you moved in, then OK, it's gonna be covered in empty boxes soon enough anyway?

It was astonishing; Costa in his sleeveless T, all tatted and buff, finding some other gear when on the brink, swatting away drive volleys; Lapentti flailing away on the last spit of gas, alternating the gobsmacking and the godawful. Thank goodness for Eurosport and its eerily silent commentary.

I see Coria prevailed in five sets and nearly five hours vs Zabby Zou; that can't be the best prep for Agassi tomorrow. Costa swamped Clement today and faces Robredo or Guga next (first set Tommy R, 'avo 5-1 up in second).

Petrova upset Venus's conqueror to move into the semis, Kim made short work of Conchita; my two faves are currently dooking it out: first set to Henin 6-3 over Chandra R. BigSerena-BiggerAmelie bloodbath just underway... Mme LeMesmer yet to win a point. Oh, now she has.

http://www.frenchopen.org/images/pics/large/bv_0602defaite.jpg

Can't quite believe quite how violently Rena minced John Le Mesurier; meanwhile, Verkerk is doijng hijs bijt for us pasty-faced North Europeans: two sets up vs Moya. Agassi sneaked the first set 6-4 vs Coria, but it'll be a lengthy struggle, I reckon.

I watched Wimbeldon when I was in France many years ago. I always got a kick out of the announcers saying "Agassi ooh la la", which they actually did.

Coria storming back vs Agassi: one set all and a break up in the third. Somehow LaMoya has broken the fearsome Rene van der Kerkoff serve (*averaging* 200km/h) and pinched the third set. Both five-setters, I think.

Nadia Petrova would like to say "BOO-YAH! IN DE FACE!"

And she's now in the semis. Her qf was top-kwal stuff apparen', with 50-stroke rallies and the like. Though Harold Solomon and Eddie Dibbs used to have 160-stroke rallies back in the 70s and people tried to make clay-court tennis illegal cos of that.

Agassi gone, very possibly to the new champion. If he fails to make it we can always say, "it could've been brilliant, Coria." Ha ha ha. Moya flummoxed by Verkerk 8-6 in the fifth. Yay!

Still heavily Spanish-accented in t'other half. I know Costa and co have been through the wars this last week, but I'm hoping they delay their mid-season break until *after* Wimbledon this year. SW19 loses so much by not having these red dust magicians around; last year the grass played so slow and hard anyone of them could've won the thing.

yes dang!

but how many times has that happened over the last three years, say. Anyway, its great to see a non-seed in the quarter (and now semi) final stage. overall, my main point still stands.

Aus Open 2003
Meghann Shaughnessy (#33)

US Open 2002
Elena Bovina (#61)

French Open 2002
Mary Pierce (OK, a former champ, but #132 at the time)
Paola Suarez (#47)
Clarisa Fernandez (#113)

Wimbledon 2002
Elena Likhovtseva (#35)

The one-sidedness of the elite's early-round matches in grand slams may have something to do with the serve not being quite so dominant in women's tennis; it's difficult to imagine Sampras or McEnroe in their prime beating vastly inferior talents one, love and one at Wimbledon, but that because it's unthinkable to break serve that often on grass (OK, I know Edberg whitewashed a fellow Swede on grass in the 80s). Not so great a difference between what Serena W has been doing this last week and Borg's untouchable years at Roland Garros in the 70s.

I also suspect there's greater stylistic division in the men's game, so that players unknown to most Wimbledon-watchers will dominate the clay-court season, then promptly fail to make it past round one at the All-England (or even show up). This could explain the wider mix of title winners on the men's circuit.

Robredo was quoted as saying he'd beaten the Ace (Hewitt) and the King (Kuerten), now he needed to defeat the Queen for the full deck of cards. This suggests that Tommy R is a lousy poker player and could soon face legal action from Albert Costa. Meanwhile, heh-heh, on court rather than in court, TR's doing very well - two sets up. Oh, hang on, Costa's taken the third. Not another bloody comeback.

Encouragingly, Henin is 4-2 up (having lost half of her early double-break) vs Serena in the second semi.

I'm going through agonies here.

Sorry, Dan. It's not like Serena hasn't already got a few GS titles in her kit-bag. Celebrations here at work, the two Bulgarians I went to Paris with are on the verge of joyful tears. All Belgian final! A dream realised!

What happened when Williams served at 4-2 30-love in the 3rd that so upset her ("Justine lied and fabricated," says teletext, sensational[istical]ly)? What was JHH's topspin lob like in the final game? Were the crowd really so rotten to SW?

In my mind, this is the greatest tennis match ever played, so perhaps I shouldn't spoilt it by exposure to footage of Rena shanking groundies long and nervous flub-volleys by SuprimeJustine.

Lying and fabrication in full;:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/tennis/french_open_2003/2967190.stm

The tuneless Meatloaf

That's an Edward Gorey title if ever I saw one.

Meanwhile, Ferrero is two sets up vs Costa. "So what?" thinks Costa.

Ferrero has a break point at 3-3 in the third... there have been TWELVE deuces in this game. And Ferrero breaks... (Costa: "This time I shall allow my opponent more than a sniff of victory, but the full intoxicating bouquet. Juan Carlos will have a match point, perhaps two, but then... [demonic laughter]).

Ah.

TV coverage not bad, David Mercer providing running translation on the post-match speeches, now having perfected his schtick of growling at his co-commentators... "So much grrrvarrriettrryyy in her shots, Virgrrrinia." John Inverdale his usual boorish self, pulling away from Kim's presentation speech, bravely conducted in non-native tongue, with an offhand, "Yes, well, we've already heard her talk - in English."

Let's hope we see Ferrero at Wimbledon - losing in the quarters to Federer who then edges Agassi in the semi and Henman in the final. There, All-England predictions out of the way now so I look less of a fool when I start the proper SW19 thread.

but yes, terribly boring this afternoon.