Rejoice Ned!

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It's no Silence!, but hopefully there is potential for a lot of soppy Sam ballads. And dancing hobbits:

Hobbits, dwarves and elves are heading for the London stage in the world's first major musical of the ``Lord of the Rings,'' its backers said on Wednesday.

West End producer Kevin Wallace said the reworking of British author JRR Tolkien's fantasy epic will cost $13 million.

``It will stimulate audiences' imaginations in a way they've never felt before,'' he told Reuters.

A cast of 50, lavish sets and a full orchestra will help recreate Middle Earth, the mystical setting for the swords and sorcery trilogy.

It is due to open in London in Spring 2005 to coincide with the 50th anniversary of the publication of the complete trilogy and may be put on around the world.

― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 17:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Didn't Led Zeppelin already do this 30 years ago?

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I just want to see Andrew Lloyd Webber write songs for it! Hopefully they can rope Donny Osmond in to play Gandalf.

― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 17:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Audra MacDonald as Galadriel! Tom Wopat as Tom Bombadil! Sebastian Bach as Gollum!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 18:12 (twenty-two years ago)

What of Deborah Gibson?

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 18:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Meadow Soprano as Pippin!

― James Blount (James Blount), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 18:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Deborah Gibson is Arwen!

― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 18:18 (twenty-two years ago)

That this combines the most stereotypically female dorky activity (musical theater) with the most stereotypically male dorky activity (LOTR fandom) = pure gold.

― NA. (Nick A.), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 18:19 (twenty-two years ago)

They better not cut Bombadil outta this one.

― slutsky (slutsky), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 18:28 (twenty-two years ago)

ILX field trip!

― j.lu (j.lu), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 18:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Nathan Lane as Bilbo Baggins!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 18:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Matthew Broderick as Frodo!

― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 18:41 (twenty-two years ago)

...but then, who will play Sam (who will Kill All Of Them If They Try Anything)?

― janni (janni), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 18:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Sandy Duncan in man-drag.

― slutsky (slutsky), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 18:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Clay Aiken needs to be in this production somewhere! Legolas, maybe?

― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 18:48 (twenty-two years ago)

You people are all deeply sick fucks.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 18:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Billy Connolly as Tom Bombadil.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 18:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Xtina as Goldberry!

― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 18:51 (twenty-two years ago)

FUNNY sick fucks, yes. ;-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 18:52 (twenty-two years ago)

TOM WOPAT is already Tom Bombadil! Billy Connolly can be the Ent.

Joey Fatone as Samwise! Antonio Banderas as Aragorn! Glenn Close as Wormtongue!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 18:55 (twenty-two years ago)

That this combines the most stereotypically female dorky activity (musical theater) with the most stereotypically male dorky activity (LOTR fandom) = pure gold.

I note Nicole has taken no trouble to deny this truth. Indeed, she embraces it.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 18:57 (twenty-two years ago)

...oh, God...8th grade flashbacks...I was in a production of The Hobbitt...it was a musical...I was Gollum...they made us design our own costumes...oh, God...oh, God...maybe whiskey will help dull THIS INSUFFERABLE PAIN

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 18:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Which Ent? Quicksilver or whatever his name was or the first one they stumble upon.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 18:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, it seems like your big Broadway break is finally here, J0hn!

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 18:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Haha! I would love to see the pictures of J0hn as Gollum! Or better yet, he could recreate the look at one of his shows.

― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 19:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Rah! And you know it'll be grand.

"Precious, my precious
Bless us, my precious
It's for you that I pine.

Master, the master
A disaster, you master
For the precious should be MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 19:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Bebe Neuwirth better be involved somehow.

― slutsky (slutsky), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 19:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Bebe Neuwirth as Velma Kelly!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 19:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Uhhh

― slutsky (slutsky), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 19:06 (twenty-two years ago)

There's your fanfic crossover.

More excerpts from the libretto:

FRODO: "I always think about the Ring!"

SAM: "Oh master, please escape this thing!"

FRODO: "Unhand me now, you horrid thief!"

SAM: "You make me tremble like a leaf!"

TOGETHER: "What has the Ring done to MEEEEEEEEE/YOUUUUUUUUU?"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 19:10 (twenty-two years ago)

oh my God it was the single worst stage experience EVER, hasn't somebody got some fuckin' morphine or something, the Old Crow ain't cuttin' it

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 19:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Did you tap dance?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 19:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Did you schottische?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 19:23 (twenty-two years ago)

reprise of Ned's libretto:

FRODO: "I always think about the Wrong!"

SAM: "Oh master, please escape this thong!"

FRODO: "Unhand me now, you horrid thief!"

SAM: "But you make me quake like a side of beef!"

TOGETHER: "What has the Ring done to MEEEEEEEEE/YOUUUUUUUUU?"

― janni (janni), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 19:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Lord of the Dings, the musical.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 19:27 (twenty-two years ago)

VELMA: I come back, open the door, and there's Frodo and Samwise, doin' number 17... THE SPREADEAGLE!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 19:29 (twenty-two years ago)

i should see if my friend has still got the "Lord of the Cockrings" flier she found...she'd scanned it up all nice and pretty, too.

why has John Cameron Mitchell not been mentioned anywhere?!?!?!?

― janni (janni), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 19:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Peter North as Merry!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 19:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Ron Jeremy as Gollum?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 19:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Ron Jeremy as GIMLI! Jenna Jameson as EOWYN! Bea Arthur as SARUMAN!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 19:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Alan Cumming as a nimbly pimbly Legolas!

Chris Walken as the dancing Gandalf!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 19:38 (twenty-two years ago)

David Mamet should write all the non-song parts. Especially if Walken is involved.

"Give me that fucking ring, you slimy shit!"

― NA. (Nick A.), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 19:44 (twenty-two years ago)

A giant bear as Sauron! ("GIMME THAT RING!")

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 19:57 (twenty-two years ago)

...I think I may have sung, but I'm pretty certain that I've repressed the whole experience, save these flashing bits that this thread has called up...Debbie Conaway as Bilbo, having memorized about 1/4 of her lines, ad libbing rather badly...me in stockings and leotard, green makeup smeared heavily all over same...oh, no...oh NO NO NO

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 19:59 (twenty-two years ago)

John's words here will be the liner notes to his next album. Oh it's true.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 20:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Dan: the MCA has got an exhibit going on now which features the lovely Ms. Arthur naked. this would be a GRATE tie-in!

― janni (janni), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 20:11 (twenty-two years ago)

He was using his sword
Like a lightning bolt,
Slaying bad left right and centre

(What will we doooo...)

Till an arrow pierced
Him through the heart
And his life force was dismembered
...membered,
membered,
membered,
MEM-BERED!

*bow-doody-whoop-BOWWWWWWWWWwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...........!*

Sean
Bean's
char-
ac-
ter
is dead!
What are we gonna do now?

*pow-pow-eeeeeeeee-ow!*

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 20:20 (twenty-two years ago)

I just wanted to post this picture:

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drf700/f745/f74563iwjbf.jpg

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 20:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I've heard that record. It's surprisingly pleasant.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 20:57 (twenty-two years ago)

*rejoices Ned*

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Wednesday, 28 May 2003 21:33 (twenty-two years ago)

I was about to say, that alternate reading of the thread title just hit me...

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 22:01 (twenty-two years ago)

i think that elven drums has to be part of this!

― Tad (llamasfur), Thursday, 29 May 2003 02:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Like an elven Stomp?

― slutsky (slutsky), Thursday, 29 May 2003 02:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Like an elven Stomp?

if they did something like that on stage, i'd be so there dude!

― Tad (llamasfur), Thursday, 29 May 2003 02:52 (twenty-two years ago)

let's get the Icy Hot Stuntaz in on this shit, so we can have Lords of the Elven Bling-Bling Rap!

― Tad (llamasfur), Thursday, 29 May 2003 02:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Frodo's Last Jam

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 29 May 2003 02:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Fro-Do Dancer, Your Life Is Calling

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 29 May 2003 03:00 (twenty-two years ago)

*goes into a spastic fit with all the laughing*

This thread is the most brilliant thread I've ever read.

*tears roll down cheeks*

*wakes up half the neighborhood*

― Dee the Lurker (Dee the Lurker), Thursday, 29 May 2003 04:35 (twenty-two years ago)

J0hn, I feel your pain. I was in a musical version of The Hobbit, as well. Though I was just a garden-variety chorus hobbit. Photographic evidence of this exists, though the fact that I was only eight years old at the time probably helps explain why my memory of this is sketchy at best.

― Jen (nstop), Thursday, 29 May 2003 04:48 (twenty-two years ago)

two years pass...

I always like this thread due to John D.'s horrifying confession up top.

Anyway, the damn thing is out:

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/41480000/jpg/_41480062_rings2_bodyap.jpg

No thank you.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 24 March 2006 13:40 (twenty years ago)

But the New York Times said it was "largely incomprehensible", while the Telegraph called it "insufferably twee".

NO WAI

― Dan (A Musical About Elves? TWEE?) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 24 March 2006 19:13 (twenty years ago)

And LOTR "largely incomprehensible" ? Well I nevah!!

― Masked Gazza, Friday, 24 March 2006 19:17 (twenty years ago)

haha i was the troll king in grade seven--but it wasn't a musical, happily

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Friday, 24 March 2006 19:27 (twenty years ago)

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