The Romans, ILE style

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Today - in fact, right now - is the five hundred and fiftieth anniversary of the fall of the Roman Empire. The final surrender of Constantinople was on May 29th 1453, around lunchtime.

This is the thread where you commemorate the Empire by wearing togas, lazing around on sofas eating baked dormice, post pictures of aqueducts, and That Sort Of Thing.

caitlin (caitlin), Thursday, 29 May 2003 08:09 (twenty-two years ago)

R.I.L.E!

Fancy An Orgy?

Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 29 May 2003 08:12 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.georgehart.com/virtual-polyhedra/figs/roman.jpg

angela (angela), Thursday, 29 May 2003 08:36 (twenty-two years ago)

estis omni hilaris?

Alfie (Alfie), Thursday, 29 May 2003 08:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm intrigued by the round thing with the blobby bits. It looks like some kind of Roman christmas-tree decoration.

caitlin (caitlin), Thursday, 29 May 2003 09:23 (twenty-two years ago)

no-one knows what they are. the speculations are fascinating. i saw two in the gallo-roman museum in lyon and now i try to find one in every musuem with a roman section.

angela (angela), Thursday, 29 May 2003 09:35 (twenty-two years ago)

How big are they? I'm guessing about 2-3 inches across.

caitlin (caitlin), Thursday, 29 May 2003 09:36 (twenty-two years ago)

The holes look different sizes, perhaps they are candle holders for a range of different candles? Or a early prototype Rubik's Cube?

Alfie (Alfie), Thursday, 29 May 2003 09:44 (twenty-two years ago)

A Roman cock ring, surely?

C J (C J), Thursday, 29 May 2003 09:45 (twenty-two years ago)

their size varies. according to this guy, they range between 4 to 11 cm.

angela (angela), Thursday, 29 May 2003 09:51 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't quite see how you'd use that as a cock ring.

I bet the Romans did have cock rings, though. The pervy buggers.

caitlin (caitlin), Thursday, 29 May 2003 09:53 (twenty-two years ago)

The Byzantine Empire is a bit different from the Roman Empire it evolved from, so maybe we should commemorate its fall by doing such typically Byzantine things as i) launching an iconoclastic campaign against graven images ii) overthrowing our bosses and blinding them to prevent their reseizing power & iii) having abstruse arguments about theology in Greek.

DV (dirtyvicar), Thursday, 29 May 2003 09:55 (twenty-two years ago)

more on the dodecahedrons here, including an insane version of the cock-ring theory.

angela (angela), Thursday, 29 May 2003 09:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Cock-ring theory? *click*

caitlin (caitlin), Thursday, 29 May 2003 10:01 (twenty-two years ago)

"Morituri te salutamus" - Classic or dud?

C J (C J), Thursday, 29 May 2003 10:20 (twenty-two years ago)

thumbs up!

angela (angela), Thursday, 29 May 2003 10:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Does my bum look big in this toga?

C J (C J), Thursday, 29 May 2003 10:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Christians vs. Lions - FITE!!!

robster (robster), Thursday, 29 May 2003 11:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Where can I buy a really good laurel wreath?

C J (C J), Thursday, 29 May 2003 11:40 (twenty-two years ago)

A Funny Thing Happened To Me On The Way To The Forum.......

C J (C J), Thursday, 29 May 2003 11:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Public baths: S/D

caitlin (caitlin), Thursday, 29 May 2003 11:43 (twenty-two years ago)

i made one of those dodecahedron models in chemistry i think... I guess the romans didn't have Plasticine.

ken c, Thursday, 29 May 2003 11:48 (twenty-two years ago)

TS: Caesar and Spartacus

robster (robster), Thursday, 29 May 2003 11:56 (twenty-two years ago)

pitchforko delenda est

mark s (mark s), Thursday, 29 May 2003 12:00 (twenty-two years ago)

and in other news :

Androclus passes audition for the role of presenter on Animal Hospital.

C J (C J), Thursday, 29 May 2003 12:02 (twenty-two years ago)

acointum tremet STS omnes alienigenae

mark s (mark s), Thursday, 29 May 2003 12:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Byzantium, Hands Off Persia!

lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Thursday, 29 May 2003 12:54 (twenty-two years ago)

i wrote this Horatian ode, does it suck?

Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 29 May 2003 12:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Say something nice about Nero (or he'll use you for after-dinner garden lighting).

Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 29 May 2003 12:59 (twenty-two years ago)

FAGoblet of wine?

j.lu (j.lu), Thursday, 29 May 2003 13:02 (twenty-two years ago)

OPO: The Plays of Seneca

j.lu (j.lu), Thursday, 29 May 2003 13:05 (twenty-two years ago)

I dropped my waxed tablet in the hypocaust and it melted

Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 29 May 2003 13:09 (twenty-two years ago)

The Aya Sofia:

http://www.byzantina.com/images/6_4d_hagia_sophia.jpg


Emperor Justinian [6th c. AD]:

http://www.newgenevacenter.org/portrait/justinian-i.jpg

phil-two (phil-two), Thursday, 29 May 2003 13:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Oy, Hadrian! How long did you say you wanted this wall to be? It's just we've got this big swimming pool job to get to in Aqua Sulis on Monday.

C J (C J), Thursday, 29 May 2003 13:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Mithraism: Classic or Dud?

caitlin (caitlin), Thursday, 29 May 2003 13:31 (twenty-two years ago)

How do you separate the Roman men from the boys?

*pause for comedic impact*

With a crowbar.

nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 29 May 2003 14:19 (twenty-two years ago)

TS: women vs slaves.

Archel (Archel), Thursday, 29 May 2003 14:27 (twenty-two years ago)

TS: Virgil vs. Ovid

j.lu (j.lu), Thursday, 29 May 2003 14:44 (twenty-two years ago)

These Romans are crazy!

Obelix (jel), Thursday, 29 May 2003 15:12 (twenty-two years ago)

haha inspired by this thread, I emailed my b/f and asked him to tell me something funny about Rome. He wrote back: "How about Nero tying up slaves to poles in the arena, dressing up as a lion, and then "savaging" their groins until his favorite slave-boy came and "dispatched" the emperor with a "sword." The reference is from Suetonius, I think."

MY GOD it would be great if our leaders did this instead of say, golfing.

teeny (teeny), Thursday, 29 May 2003 17:20 (twenty-two years ago)

(I was hoping this would be a thread where ILX regulars re-enacted the classic Doctor Who story featuring Barbara, Ian and Vicki. Teeny's post is all that keeps me from crying.)

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 29 May 2003 17:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Dan your expectations are far too high.

teeny (teeny), Thursday, 29 May 2003 17:37 (twenty-two years ago)

But thanks, nice to see the boyfriend's masters in latin wasn't wasted after all.

teeny (teeny), Thursday, 29 May 2003 17:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Someone explain - *ahem* - Heliogababus to me

chester (synkro), Thursday, 29 May 2003 17:41 (twenty-two years ago)

four months pass...
Revive! This is the best thread ever!

ILX.P.Q.R.!!!

kate (kate), Thursday, 23 October 2003 08:03 (twenty-one years ago)

ILX Gladiators Fantasy League Coliseum XXIII !!!

A Class Thread: Were Your Grandparents Patricians or Plebians?
(And how many dodgy grandfathers would have turned out to be Greek Slaves?)

kate (kate), Thursday, 23 October 2003 08:06 (twenty-one years ago)

D'oh! It's early... make that:

ILX Gladiators Fantasy League Coliseum MMIII !!!

(But then again, XXII was during the Roman Era.)

kate (kate), Thursday, 23 October 2003 08:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Kate, wtf? Haven't you got a hangover?

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 23 October 2003 08:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, I have a horrid hangover. This thread would be a lot better if I had brought my naughty latin phrasebook into work today.

By the way, why did they carry on having S.P.Q.R. be the Roman motto long after they had become an Empire - what with an emporer and all? I mean, SPQR means Senatus Populus Que Romani (I could be mispelling that, it's been a long time since I studied Latin) which is all about democracy and republic and all that, which was the antithesis of the dictatorship of the Roman Emperors.

kate (kate), Thursday, 23 October 2003 08:25 (twenty-one years ago)

A few weeks ago my parents were showing me their photos from Italy... my mum then said "this is me, standing outside the brothel in Pompeii". When I asked how she knew it was a brothel she replied that if you looked closely you could see the shape of an erect penis carved into the ground. Niiiiiiiice.

Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 23 October 2003 08:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, the Romans apparently were quite overt in their dipiction of sexuality. They had no concept of "pornography" as being dirty pictures. I remember watching some program about Romans and the presenter was talking about the dirty pictures in the bedrooms of houses in Pompei, and explaining how if you said to the Roman who lived there "this is a bad picture" they would be completely confused and be all "what, it's painted badly? But that was done by my FINEST GREEK SLAVE, YOU PHILISTINE!!!"

kate (kate), Thursday, 23 October 2003 08:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't believe it! I googled to find some pervey Roman art, and look what I came up with:

http://www.leterrae.com/EtruscanArtNigel.gif

HE'S FOLLOWING ME!!! AARRRRGGGHHHH!!!

Ow. I shouldn't scream. My hangover hurts.

kate (kate), Thursday, 23 October 2003 08:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Quieten down there Kate, some ppl have hangovers! ;-)

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 23 October 2003 08:45 (twenty-one years ago)

It'd be worse if it were Roman times. They used to drink wine flavoured with powdered lead! Can you imagine the hangovers? Worse than Bitter.

kate (kate), Thursday, 23 October 2003 08:52 (twenty-one years ago)

So it would be like the rat poison? See the awful maggots thread!

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 23 October 2003 08:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, that's the reason that so many emporers went mad. Well, that and the inbreeding. Also, aquaducts were lined with lead. That can't have been healthy!

kate (kate), Thursday, 23 October 2003 08:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Indeed!

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 23 October 2003 09:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Verbum!

kate (kate), Thursday, 23 October 2003 09:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Taking Sides: Jupiter vs. Zeus

Search & Destroy: The Latest Mystery Religion Cults From Judea!

Gaul: Let's Divide It Into Three Parts And See If Anyone Invades it

kate (kate), Thursday, 23 October 2003 09:11 (twenty-one years ago)

What's the most disgusting thing to come out of your vomitarium?

Cristoferus Brassica on The Search for Edible Dormouse

Mark C (Mark C), Thursday, 23 October 2003 11:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Mark C, I kiss you! (I am trying to remember the Latin for this, but all that comes out is Basete Me which is kiss me, which is not quite right at all...)

kate (kate), Thursday, 23 October 2003 11:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Kate, I found a book for you!
Looking at Lovemaking: Constructions of Sexuality in Roman Art, 100

Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 23 October 2003 12:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Damn! The filtering must kick back in at 2pm, cause I can't look at it. :-(

kate (kate), Thursday, 23 October 2003 12:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Looking at Lovemaking
Constructions of Sexuality in Roman Art, 100 B.C. - A.D. 250
Price: $24.95

Co-op Discount: 10%

In Stock Will Ship in 1 to 2 business days

Click Here to tell a friend about this book

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by John R. Clarke

University of California Press

Due/Published March 2001, 406 pages, paper

ISBN 0520229045

New in paper (S01)

What did sex mean to the ancient Romans? Clarke investigates an assortment of Roman erotic art to answer this question--and along the way, he reveals a society quite different from our own. Informed by recent gender and cultural studies, he reevaluates our understanding of Roman art and society and focuses on attitudes toward the erotic among both the Roman non-elite and women. Further, he sets many newly discovered and previously unpublished works in their ancient context and defines the differences between modern and ancient concepts of sexuality.

Roman artists pictured a great range of human sexual activities--far beyond those mentioned in classical literature--including sex between men and women, men and men, women and women, men and boys, threesomes, foursomes, and more. Roman citizens paid artists to decorate expensive objects, such as silver and cameo glass, with scenes of lovemaking. Erotic works were created for and sold to a broad range of consumers, from the elite to the very poor, during a period spanning the first century B.C. through the mid-third century of our era. This erotic art was not hidden away, but was displayed proudly in homes as signs of wealth and luxury. In public spaces, artists often depicted outrageous sexual acrobatics to make people laugh.

Looking at Lovemaking depicts a sophisticated, pre-Christian society that placed a high value on sexual pleasure and the art that represented it. Clarke shows how this culture evolved within religious, social, and legal frameworks that were vastly different from our own and contributes an original and controversial chapter to the history of human sexuality.

"Clarke teaches us to think about how this art was understood and felt by those who lived with it in their daily lives and he speculates that it might even reflect what the Romans actually did. This is the first genuinely contextual and theoretically informed study we have of a vast panoply of classical art about sex. It will be an illuminating book for classicists, historians, and anybody else who finds lovemaking interesting."--Thomas Laqueur

"Looking at Lovemaking proves that the ancients were very different from you and me--that they saw sex not primarily as procreation and never as sin but rather as sport, art, and pleasure, an activity full of humor, tenderness and above all variety. John R. Clarke, by looking at Roman artifacts from several centuries destined to be used by different social classes, reveals that the erotic visual record is far more varied, open-minded and playful than are written moral strictures, which were narrowly formulated by the élite and for the élite. This book is at once discreet and bold--discreetly respectful of nuance and context, boldly clear in drawing the widest possible conclusions about the malleability of human behavior. Clarke has, with meticulous scholarship and a fresh approach, vindicated Foucault's revolutionary claims for the social construction of sexuality."--Edmund White

"This is an important book, ambitious in the goals it sets itself and elegantly realized. It succeeds in demonstrating its major thesis, that Roman sociosexual role allocations, values and attitudes do not correspond to familiar modern ones but demand to be understood in their own radical otherness, and that visual imagery can be an invaluable aid to such an understanding. The controversy which Looking at Lovemaking will no doubt provoke cannot fail to have a stimulating effect upon the rapidly developing appreciation of the complexity of Roman visual culture."--Sheldon Nodelman, Art in America

"Clarke has produced a major book which contains much that is new, useful, and stimulating in terms of analysis as well as evidence. He melds contemporary theoretical insights and fresh primary data with a hard look at contexts--not only the original settings of the art works he discusses, but also the intellectual climates which have produced modern analyses. The result is a book which points in significant and unexpected directions."--Dominic Montserrat, The Classical Review

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 23 October 2003 12:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Ooooh! I want it! I want it!

kate (kate), Thursday, 23 October 2003 12:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, goddamn. Click on this pic to explore some wonderful art.
http://www.apollonius.net/Images/brickwall.jpg

(Hmm... I wonder if that will work...)

Sarah McLUsky (coco), Thursday, 23 October 2003 12:13 (twenty-one years ago)

It brings home decor to a whole new level!

Sarah McLUsky (coco), Thursday, 23 October 2003 12:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Dude! The Erotic Art of Pompei, with phalluses and all is NOT BLOCKED, but SHOPPING is blocked. Go figure!

kate (kate), Thursday, 23 October 2003 12:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Ha ha. You were going to buy a sexy Roman artifact?

There's more Roman Erotic art from their main page.

Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 23 October 2003 12:17 (twenty-one years ago)

MY EYES!

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 23 October 2003 12:18 (twenty-one years ago)

(Aqueducts being lined with lead is actually pretty safe, so long as you don't get the first load of water and the lead isn't later disturbed: it forms a protective lead oxide layer which keeps the lead from poisoning anyone. A lot of people in the UK still have lead watermains and pipes in their houses.
/plumbering geek)

Pervy Latin joy: the Charles Bukowski memorial centre for classical latin studies. Yay Catullan abuse!

cis (cis), Thursday, 23 October 2003 12:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Nah, main page is blocked. But I can get into the Pompei page.

WHO THE F*CK IS PROGRAMMING THESE FILTERS?!

I can look at Roman penises on the web, on their time, but I can't buy a book about Roman penises to read at home. What up with that?

kate (kate), Thursday, 23 October 2003 12:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Well if you've got to ask lady....

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 23 October 2003 12:21 (twenty-one years ago)

You should get gladiator on their asses!

Sarah McLUsky (coco), Thursday, 23 October 2003 12:22 (twenty-one years ago)

A vocabulary of Latin dirty words! EXCELLENT!!!

mingo, mingere, minxi, mictum 3
to piss

I wonder if the modern English "Minging" comes from this?

kate (kate), Thursday, 23 October 2003 12:23 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.obscure.org/obscene-latin/vocabulary.html

Mentula: literally, prick, in the sense of "dick head"

I wonder if the ILX term, Mentalist comes from this!

kate (kate), Thursday, 23 October 2003 12:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I think I've seen that Looking at Lovemaking book already, referred above? There's a class on reserve using it I believe. Kate needs to be an extension student for a quarter here!

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 23 October 2003 12:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I wonder if the modern English "Minging" comes from this?
Do you really think this much effort went into that word?

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 23 October 2003 12:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Dude, if the Classics had been like that when *I* was at school, I'd have kept studying them! But, alas alack, I was taught Latin by a nun. Sigh.

(That said, our wonderful 9th/10th Grade history teacher used to dig out all the dirty bits of Suetonius to make us pay attention.)

kate (kate), Thursday, 23 October 2003 12:26 (twenty-one years ago)

mingo, mingere, minxi, mictum 3
to piss

I wonder if the modern English "Minging" comes from this?

That was the first thing I thought! And also 'minge', obv.

cis (cis), Thursday, 23 October 2003 12:27 (twenty-one years ago)

& a lot of north london slang originated at Highgate school, so it actually is kind of possible.

cis (cis), Thursday, 23 October 2003 12:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, I mean Caco, Cacere etc. is obviously the root of "cack" and "cack-handed" et al.

kate (kate), Thursday, 23 October 2003 12:30 (twenty-one years ago)

irrumator -oris, m.
bastard, literally face fucker.

This is the best insult in the history of forever!

kate (kate), Thursday, 23 October 2003 12:33 (twenty-one years ago)

cool. we need a new thread 'Learn Latin with Kate' illustrated by Sarah

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 23 October 2003 12:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I've clearly missed my calling!

kate (kate), Thursday, 23 October 2003 12:42 (twenty-one years ago)

It's a shame we can't change the name of the "laugh out loud" thread from the frankly passe "excelsior!" to "irrumator!"

TS: II-wheeled chariots vs IV-wheeled chariots (Edoardus Clerkenwellensis), XVII new answers, XVII unread

Mark C (Mark C), Thursday, 23 October 2003 15:02 (twenty-one years ago)

seven months pass...
your book is so so fucked

smokin Eco, Tuesday, 15 June 2004 14:32 (twenty-one years ago)

five years pass...

Say what you like about Nero, he sure knew how to rotate a dining room.
...left even seasoned archaeologists dropping their trowels in amazement...

Ned Trifle II, Wednesday, 30 September 2009 09:38 (fifteen years ago)


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