your dick as a christmas carol

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the drunken poet that i am

the last nudie run i did, i remember singing something along the lines of 'frosty the snow man' as my hardware was exposed to the sub-freezing point temperatures

when has YOUR dick been a christmas carol?

― daniel cheail (daniel cheail), Friday, 30 May 2003 14:14 (twenty-two years ago)

This is a vision.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 30 May 2003 14:16 (twenty-two years ago)

if someone can work good king wenchless into this, i'll be your friend for a few weeks.

― daniel cheail (daniel cheail), Friday, 30 May 2003 14:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I read this as "Your dick as 'A Christmas Carol'".

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 30 May 2003 15:26 (twenty-two years ago)

And it makes more sense this way?

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 30 May 2003 15:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I read this as "Your dick as 'A Christmas Carol'".

What, you haven't heard of Puppetry of the Penis? Although I didn't know that they were doing special Christmas shows.

― j.lu (j.lu), Friday, 30 May 2003 15:34 (twenty-two years ago)

dressed up in little costumes? (like these: http://www.petoffice.co.jp/catprin/english/#hiyoko [safe for work, actually])

I used to work for this ridiculous webhosting company, and one of the miscellaneous things I helped do was put together this lengthy monthly newsletter full of arcane unix tips (basically stuff that got a lot of the employees hot, but that the customers couldn't care less about). anyhow, once we got this giant, three paged letter in the postal mail, full of accolades about how great the newsletter was.... from a gentleman who'd signed his name as John Thomas. kind of took the wind out of my sails, even though I'm sure it wasn't a prank.

― miriam (serrano), Friday, 30 May 2003 15:34 (twenty-two years ago)

NOT WORK-SAFE Puppetry of the Penis: The Ancient Art of Genital Origami NOT WORK-SAFE

Ned, that's not you on the Web site, is it?

John Thomas is pretty ambiguous in that respect. At the National Building Museum's Frank Lloyd Wright exhibit, in the guestbook someone wrote a fairly insightful paragraph or two...and signed it "I.P. Freely."

― j.lu (j.lu), Friday, 30 May 2003 15:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Ned, that's not you on the Web site, is it?

I seem to have started a low key trend with my hair. Uh, yeah, that's my excuse. *hides*

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 30 May 2003 15:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Best thread title EVAH.

For some reason though it has inspired a new fantasy within me wherein my wang plunges deep into That Place Which It Is Meant To Be as my female companion passionately sings "Joy to the World" with a big 60-person choir backing her up from across the room.

Okay, is there such a thing as too vivid an imagination?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 30 May 2003 16:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 30 May 2003 16:25 (twenty-two years ago)

No, but there is Too Much Information (TMI).

― j.lu (j.lu), Friday, 30 May 2003 19:01 (twenty-two years ago)

NZA, OMG GOOMH!

― oops (Oops), Friday, 30 May 2003 19:25 (twenty-two years ago)

My penis plays "Sleigh Ride" when I get it wet

― Millar (Millar), Friday, 30 May 2003 19:40 (twenty-two years ago)

man this place is wierd lately.

― g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Friday, 30 May 2003 21:42 (twenty-two years ago)

you know, one of the things (among others) that got Howard Stern in big trouble with the FCC was when he had someone on during one of this "Christmas specials" who played "jingle bells" on a synthesizer with his penis. which spot included a priceless monologue by Bababooey, who had walked into the station's men room while the "organist" was, ahem, "getting ready."

(and no, sillies, the "organist" wasn't Momus or Hanle y!)

― Tad (llamasfur), Friday, 30 May 2003 21:48 (twenty-two years ago)

is "my cock" electric?

― Tad (llamasfur), Friday, 30 May 2003 21:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Mine's broke down
And now I've no one to love

― Millar (Millar), Friday, 30 May 2003 21:53 (twenty-two years ago)

"Brokedown Phallus" starring Claire Danes and Kate Beckinsale.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 30 May 2003 22:23 (twenty-two years ago)

(I cannot stop humming the title of this thread to the tune of "Your Body Is A Wonderland".)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 30 May 2003 23:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Once upon a time, someone invented a condom that played "Jingle Bells" (I think) when it broke. I don't think it ever made it to market.

― Christine 'Green Leafy Dragon' Indigo (cindigo), Saturday, 31 May 2003 00:42 (twenty-two years ago)

At the moment?
Silent Night.

― Tim Stewart (Tim Stewart), Monday, 2 June 2003 14:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't have a dick, but if I did, I think It Came Upon a Midnight Clear would be appropriate. Then after, God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 2 June 2003 15:42 (twenty-two years ago)

The Holly and the Ivy

― g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Monday, 2 June 2003 15:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm reminded, horribly, of that AWFUL end joke in that Bond movie where he makes the "see I told you christmas comes more than once a year" joke or whatever it was.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 02:14 (twenty-two years ago)

my dick would be one of those hymns with lots of Hallelujahs in

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 02:19 (twenty-two years ago)

..."figgy pudding"...

― Neudonym, Tuesday, 3 June 2003 02:21 (twenty-two years ago)

six months pass...

TIS THE SEASON TO BE TUMESCENT

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 22:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I'll be sure to wrap a box of XY jelly for you to share with Santa.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 22:18 (twenty-one years ago)

TIS THE SEASON TO BE FLACCID AND SOMEWHAT SKEEVED OUT

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 22:19 (twenty-one years ago)

(FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 22:19 (twenty-one years ago)

ho ho ho

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 22:19 (twenty-one years ago)

"God Rest Ye, Merry Banana Pimps...."
(xpost)

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 22:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Why do you people keep reviving brilliant threads and then ruining them?

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 9 December 2003 22:23 (twenty-one years ago)

I would answer but I'm still skeeved out.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 22:24 (twenty-one years ago)

it's all to prove the hypothesis that nu-ILX totally blows wads out the ass.

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 9 December 2003 22:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Do we have the experiment detailed anywhere actually? What's our control?

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 9 December 2003 22:26 (twenty-one years ago)

it's a hypothesis which is taking years to prove

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 22:26 (twenty-one years ago)

when at 65, I finally stop posting and have wasted my life, I will have conclusive results

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 22:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I bet it's fun to do one of these with the e-mail responses as a one-shot and then start getting these random comments in your inbox 7 months later out of nowhere.

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 9 December 2003 22:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Years or minutes?

Everyone should go back and read nickalicious's frightening vision of sex on this thread.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 22:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Between that and the "earthquakes are k-sexy" I fear for Nick.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 22:29 (twenty-one years ago)

I made the mistake of clicking on this thread just as someone in my office started playing Adam Sandler's Hannukah song really loudly. Erections will now forever be yelling "It's time for Hannukah" in my head and I'm very unhappy with this.

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 9 December 2003 22:31 (twenty-one years ago)

if my penis ever makes a noise that remotely resembles Adam Sandler singing I am going to cut it right off, end of story. DID YOU HEAR THAT, RINGO?

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 9 December 2003 22:37 (twenty-one years ago)

"Ringo"?

― TMI, DUDE! (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 22:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Exactly. Was thinking "Bobbitt with a glass case", meself

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 22:40 (twenty-one years ago)

better "RINGO" than "O-RING"

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 22:41 (twenty-one years ago)

PUT ON YOUR YARMULKE ITS TIME FOR HANNUKAH!!!

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 9 December 2003 22:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Really if anybody starts playing Adam Sandler around me I don't take that shit for an instant. Of course about half the time they think it's funny and turn it up like ha-ha this really annoys you doesn't it and then all of a sudden I owe them a stereo and they have a really weird look on their face. Ditto "Magic Carpet Ride" except in that case it's more like all of a sudden your car has one less passenger.

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 9 December 2003 22:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Ugh Magic Carpet Ride, wtf did you have to bring that into this for, it was bad enough I was thinking of the Hannukah Song. My friend Joey in high school, they used to call his car the magic carpet, pretty much for no reason other than apparently my friends were all extraordinarily racist (they also would refer to Joey as Aladdin all the time, guess his race and win no prizes at all), and so he would always play Magic Carpet Ride like every time I rode around with him. Then he'd ask me to go smoke weed with him, wtf! God, Arizona was really for shit.

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 9 December 2003 22:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Little Donkey.

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 08:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Jingle Bells End

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 16:07 (twenty-one years ago)

"Jeff's nuts...roasting on an open fire..."

This used to scare the bejeezus monkeys out of my brother Jeff. We would whisper it portentously in his ear when our parents were out of the room. He was like five. I hope he never has regression therapy because he'll go from thinking I was a nice older brother to kicking my ass like Kung-Fu Snoopy.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 16:22 (twenty-one years ago)

two years pass...

[spam deleted]

― tamiflu online, Tuesday, 2 May 2006 15:00 (nineteen years ago)

[spam deleted]

― order tamiflu, Tuesday, 2 May 2006 15:23 (nineteen years ago)

[spam deleted]

― xanax, Tuesday, 2 May 2006 15:39 (nineteen years ago)

xanax: OTM
fuck off: order tamiflu,
tamiflu online

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 15:43 (nineteen years ago)

Thermo Thinwall
Thermo Thinwall
Thermo Thinwall

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 15:44 (nineteen years ago)

one year passes...

[spam deleted]

― jizzcannon, Monday, 24 December 2007 07:31 (seventeen years ago)

twelve years pass...

OPO: Christmas past, Christmas present, Christmas future, scrooge or tiny tim

― sarahell, Sunday, 2 February 2020 09:32 (five years ago)

great revive

― the main character Cooly and his fart attack (bizarro gazzara), Sunday, 2 February 2020 11:29 (five years ago)

ffs

― GK Chessington's World of Adventure (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 2 February 2020 11:35 (five years ago)

this thread presaged 'Do They Know It's My Dick Time?' by nearly a decade

― doorstep jetski (dog latin), Sunday, 2 February 2020 15:30 (five years ago)

ctrl + f 'rudolph'

Disappointed.

― toilet-cleaning brain surgeon (pomenitul), Sunday, 2 February 2020 15:32 (five years ago)

four years pass...

Figured this was the best Xmas thread

Just wanted to say…

SWADDLING CLOTHES

― Josefa, Friday, 13 December 2024 03:23 (ten months ago)

I keep hearing John Mayer singing this thread title in my head

― DJP, Friday, 13 December 2024 03:36 (ten months ago)

[spam deleted]

― jizzcannon, Monday, December 24, 2007 7:31 AM (sixteen years ago) bookmarkflaglink

;_;

― he/him hoo-hah (map), Friday, 13 December 2024 03:38 (ten months ago)

I thought this thread was going to be the news that My Dick released a Christmas album :(

― il lavoro mi rovina la giornata (PBKR), Friday, 13 December 2024 12:40 (ten months ago)

Me too!

Meanwhile, here is an adaptation of Dickens where Scrooge has a permaboner: https://medium.com/@clastowka/a-christmas-boner-8705fa58cb42

― The Whimsical Muse (Boring, Maryland), Friday, 13 December 2024 14:28 (ten months ago)

I keep hearing John Mayer singing this thread title in my head

― DJP, Thursday, December 12, 2024 10:36 PM bookmarkflaglink

waiting for my dick to change

― Riposte Malone (Neanderthal), Friday, 13 December 2024 14:33 (ten months ago)

rockin' around the dickmas tree

― Andy the Grasshopper, Friday, 13 December 2024 18:11 (ten months ago)

while shepherds washed their cocks by night

― assert (matttkkkk), Friday, 13 December 2024 19:18 (ten months ago)

dick came upon the midnight clear

― Riposte Malone (Neanderthal), Friday, 13 December 2024 19:27 (ten months ago)

I thought this thread was going to be the news that My Dick released a Christmas album :(

― il lavoro mi rovina la giornata (PBKR)

dare to dream

― sleeve, Friday, 13 December 2024 19:29 (ten months ago)

oh little cock of bethlehem

― Andy the Grasshopper, Friday, 13 December 2024 22:23 (ten months ago)

O Come O Come Emmanuel gers whole mew meaning

― Riposte Malone (Neanderthal), Saturday, 14 December 2024 00:06 (ten months ago)

Dick the Halls with BALLS of holly!!

― Andy the Grasshopper, Saturday, 14 December 2024 00:13 (ten months ago)

Silent Pipe

― the trombone just keeps getting bigger (flamboyant goon tie included), Saturday, 14 December 2024 02:02 (ten months ago)

Ding Dong Merrily On High 🎶

― Humanitarian Pause (Tracer Hand), Saturday, 14 December 2024 14:29 (ten months ago)

I saw three dicks come sailing in
Come sailing in
Come sailing in!
I saw three dicks come sailing in
On Christmas Day in the morning!

― Humanitarian Pause (Tracer Hand), Saturday, 14 December 2024 14:30 (ten months ago)

All I want for Christmas is my two front dicks

― the trombone just keeps getting bigger (flamboyant goon tie included), Saturday, 14 December 2024 14:43 (ten months ago)

https://bsky.app/profile/cbthorburn.bsky.social/post/3ldbfhwkp4c2e

― Gukbe, Saturday, 14 December 2024 14:52 (ten months ago)

lol

― Humanitarian Pause (Tracer Hand), Saturday, 14 December 2024 14:56 (ten months ago)

“Jeff’s nuts roasting on an open fire” still absolutely untoppable

― Humanitarian Pause (Tracer Hand), Saturday, 14 December 2024 14:59 (ten months ago)

[sperm deleted]

― Mark G, Saturday, 14 December 2024 15:50 (ten months ago)

lol gubke

― DJP, Saturday, 14 December 2024 16:10 (ten months ago)

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