Fucking jokes

Two Emocore junkies are in a shooting gallery sharing their works as they bang some bags of heroin. Their dealer goes, "Hey guys! Ain't you scared of getting the AIDS?"
They say, "Hell no! We're wearing condoms!"

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Sex Joke 2 Spiced with Racial overtones:

Man goes to friend for advice. He is having troubling with premature ejaculation. He says, how can I get it on without poppiong off in 3 minutes? The wife is getting upset and says she's going to leave me soon if I can't take care of business. His friend tells him to see the old Chinese guy at the laudry mat. He's an old coot but is known for his wisdom. He tells the guy: Stick it in, do it a little and when you feel you are coming, take it out and then lick her twat for a while. When you've done that for a few minutes, stick it in again and when you feel like you are going to come, pull it out and like her twat for a while. Repeat this until you, your partner or both... whatever you like are satisfied.
He goes home and gets his horny wife in bed. He sticks it in for a while and after about a minute he pulls it out and then starts to lick her pussy. He does that for a few minutes until she's about to come then stops and sticks it back in her. He repeats the cycle a few times until she explodes like he has never seen her. With a smile he asks her how she liked it. She responds, "Great, where did you learn to fuck like a Chinaman?!?!?!"

Sex Riddle 1 (also laced with racial overtones):

Q: What's the difference between a Mexican whore and an outhouse?
A: An outhouse has a smaller hole and doesn't smell as bad.

Disclaimer: These bits of questionable humor are presented for informational purposes only. They are not meant to reflect the views of the poster, the host(s) of this board, the starter of this thread, the readers of this thread or any member of the San Francisco Sailing Club.

"Daddy, Daddy, that doggy is hurting another doggy!"

"Ah, ahem, no he's not, son, er, they are making puppies."

"Oh."

After bedtime, the little son hears pained voices from his parents' room. He creeps in and sees his parents engaged in some strange behavior.

"Daddy, Daddy, why are you hurting Mommy?"

"Ah, ahem, no I'm not, son, er, we are making a baby."

"Oh. Well in that case turn Mommy around cos I'd rather have a puppy."

those were the days.

All your bin bags are gone.

(er, I larfed at this one when I was bout 13)

Say it isn't so.

I feel even dirtier now.

Two, but how did they get in there?

KNOCK KNOCK

No, really. Honest.

(n. is right).

That joke really is very old. I believe I first heard a version of it when I was in 7th grade... way back in 1974!

I know 3... count 'em... 3 sex jokes... all three of them presented above. I may know more but they have been blocked out of my memory.

Q: What does an 87 year old woman's cunt smell like?
A: I dunno, Depends? (said shruggingly)

Much better told aloud than typed, and incidentally, it was told to my friend by her octagenarian philosophy professor, so it may've been an observation rather than a joke..

b...b..b...but that topless woman painting joke in Airplane 2 is pretty funny.

When I heard this joke, it was tastes like, not smells like!... ha ha!

I will surprise you one of these days!

Madhur Jaffrey!

The container that my take-away came in.

Your mom.