Advice? If you need it, let me give it to you. FOR FREE!

I wanna know, damn it!

and, also:

Who put the ram in the ramalamadingdong?

The book of love, like the Holy Grail is 100% myth.
There is no book of love. Love is a lawless town of
wolves, snakes, dogs and sharks.
::::

Dee, you randy bitch! The e-mail address you provided was a scam! All other answers have been delivered privately.

Answer on board s'il vous plait.

Hint, hint.

Thank you for the answer. 'Twas much wittier than expected. You are a keeper, aren't you?

All the sheep I know have been shorn and neutered so that any extra poundage from wetliness is minimalized ( as you can see, I am no grammarian). Like the Kennedy assasination, there has been no government coverup on livestock born landslides, at least not in my town!

Thank you for the answer. 'Twas much wittier than expected. You are a keeper, aren't you?

Thank you, Lurker. Though your name is a bit scary I do appreciate your comments. Please send me a message at:
robyn_bytchcock@canada.com

PS

I once tried to download the hushmail ISP shredder but got scared when it took a bit longer than expected. I thought the government was planting another virus on my hard drive!

What is the point of naming a street "Carrotwood?" What in the hell does "Carrotwood" mean?

Why is my little toe so much smaller than the rest of my toes?

How come I can't whistle?

Where did my favorite shirt go to?

Love is like a stray cat. You cannot make it stay. It will stay if it wants to. If it has somewhere better to go it will leave. It has no loyalties.

What is the point of naming a street "Carrotwood?" What in the hell does "Carrotwood" mean?

Streets are usually named thematically. After trees, flowers and if organized well, in alphabetical order. Carrot was probably a favorite relative. Perhaps an uncle. The street was probably named as a tribute to him... as in "Carrot would have been sent to jail for statutaory rape if he didn't have that incest charge pending!"

Why is my little toe so much smaller than the rest of my toes?
The question you should be asking is, "Why are my other toes so much bigger than my little toe?" Oppression of the minority by the majority is never acceptable without question. Remember, revolution starts from within, not from without.

How come I can't whistle?

Are you a train? Have you been accused of giving ever bum a ride? If not, don't worry about it.

Where did my favorite shirt go to?

Does you shirt have free will? If not, you should ask yourself where did you place it? If you cannot remember, don't let a relatiive take you to the race track, airport, train station or bus station(especially if it is located out of state) where they may leave you then tell the police you went out for your daily walk to the post office.

Mixing friendship and sex is like mixing matter with anti-matter. Nothing good every comes of it. Trying to change the ways of the universe is only going to frustrate you. See what happens when people build on a floodplane.

Love always dies a violent death. The fighting won't end so you really can't start over with the same person unless a brain transplant is on the menu.

Dear Robyn:

How (short of constant drunkenness) can I kill my desire for someone who just wants to be friends?

That light of love sounds like the glaze of an alcoholic stupor to me. If you can get away with only a hangover and a OH MY GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE NOW! then you can probably count yourself lucky.

How (short of constant drunkenness) can I kill my desire for someone who just wants to be friends?

Tell this person directly that you want something more from this relationship. This person will probably dump you faster than a seaweed enema can make its way through your upper colon. It is easier to not desire someone who treats you like a sack of fresh bat guano.

Should I or shouldn't I?

I have a chronically inability to make up my own mind about anything and keep asking other people for advice. What should I do?

Jamie

n : a proposal for an appropriate course of action

Jamie

The fact of the matter is, you have already made up your mind to take advice from others so you have someone else to blame/take a hit when everything doesn't pan out exactly how you like. I will pass on giving you any advice this time around.

Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?
-- gery forbes

If you are asking me who slept with your lover, then I don't need to be telling you something you already know.

Dear Robyn:
Should I or shouldn't I?

You want to do it, so do it. If what you are doing somehow gets you into trouble you can always ask for forgiveness. And, if that doesn't work, there's another bus due to arrive sometime soon.

Thanks teeny and all those who have sent me private communications.

Worst advice ever. Suppose that bus is headed to the state penitentiary?

The kind of buses I am talking about don't go that way but who's on them can get you there should you so desire.

Was the world really created in just six days?

How best can I parlay my English BA into a career that I will enjoy?

Can you give me a job?

I think Homer gets stupider every year.

At the time the world was created, the universe was a very different place. A day was not a 24 hour segment of time like it is now. In those days, a day could have meant a full expansion and compression of an entire universe or it could have meant one millenium or maybe a million millenia... who knows? Haveiong said all that, if you believe all of the assumptions necessary to have full faith in the good book, then the world, indeed was created in six days.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop??

You may not believe it, but when I was a kid, I actually licked an orange Tootsie Pop down to the Tootsie Roll center. It took a mere 32 licks. This number will vary of course, depending on a variety of factors such as:

amount, viscosity and acidity or your saliva
size of the tongue
amount of candy actually in the pop
oral temperature of licker
and on and on and on

How best can I parlay my English BA into a career that I will enjoy.

Though a BA in English isn't a necessity I have known quite a few scandalous fellows to go to the Far East and teach women English conversational skills. The bad ain't half bad and the benefits are nothing to sneeze at!

Can you give me a job?

Yes, I cannot give you or anyone else a job. However, if you know any sex surrogates in training who need clients to get their certificates I may consider lending my time.

I think Homer gets stupider every year.

I do not think much of the Illiad either.