Do you ever go to a movie/gig/club/theatre by yourself?

I couldn't possibly imagine going to a club alone.

I've seen just over fifty films this year, 6 with other people.

I occasionally go to gigs not knowing if anyone will be there, for stuff my friends look down on (Ash, MC Supernatural)

Matt OTM about clubs. I don't do theatre.

Clubs and gigs, no. I never felt secure enough to do this.

Concerts, I have occasionally gone to alone. But I feel a bit weird and it's usually more fun with others.

Clubs on my own? No, that's just very weird. Unless you are likely to see lots of people you know there. But yeah, I know some people do it. I feel weird just standing or dancing on my own in a club for more than about 2 minutes, if friends are at the bar or whatever, like everyone's thinking "Is that guy just here on his own or something? That's a bit weird - must keep away from him"

Clubs - Never gone on my own, but I've stayed on when my friends have gone home, cos I was enjoying myself too much. obviously I was very pissed, as I would not have done this otherwise, and it did feel a bit odd, but I always managed to find a group of girls who'd feel sorry for me 'your friends have just left you, that's awful!', that I could tag onto if I needed it.

its going to the pub on your own thats the one i can't handle!

gigs: always on my own but since ILM and FAPS i have run into ILXORS. I've been to abt 10 gigs and i'd say 8 of those i've run into ppl from ILM.

clubs/theatre: don't go to them

no just the fear of being alone surely

I still do go to gigs or bars to see bands alone all the time. I don't mind it in the least, its easier then travelling in a large group to see a band.

I rarely, rarely go to shows alone. I tend to get bored during opening acts, and often during the main act as well, so I really need company. Also I feel a bit "exposed" being at certain shows by myself. Sometimes that works in my favor and I get the nerve to talk to random people; most times however I just stand around and look forlorn.

Gigs: I've been to a few on my own when I desperately wanted to see the act and no one else around did. But there is so much standing around doing nothing that it is a big loss, doing it alone.

Theatre: hardly ever go, and haven't gone alone, but I'd see it the same way as a movie, I think.

Clubbing: not since the '70s. There was a period of a few months when I left school (boarding school, no one at which lived near the family home) when I was pretty lonely for a while and would go to the local discos alone. I'd sometimes meet someone I knew, but not that often. No fun at all, generally. I can't see myself ever doing this again.

Pubs I got to alone only when waiting for someone, or sometimes to my local for Sky football. There are one or two people there I sometimes chat to, but really I'm just as happy sitting quietly and reading when the game isn't on.

Restaurants: well, if I'm hungry and meeting people for an evening doing something that won't involve food (booze, movie, whatever) I might grab something alone. Again, the book comes out.

I think I might be relatively unusual in being really comfortable doing all these things on my own, but also being a genuinely gregarious person.

though I love stepping out of a movie into nighttime downtown madness

it is...

"cotton-eyed joe"

(accompanies all of jody's somber moments natch.)

Gigs, on occasion, though as I get into my late 30s it gets more and more awkward and depressing, especially if I don't recognize anyone else in the audience. During a particular girlfriend-less phase around 1998, I was going to loads of shows alone at the Empty Bottle, and ended up experiencing a few of those totally unexpected, drunken great times, especially Momus and the surprising Lilys.

Clubbing...er, no. That's never been a word in my lexicon.

gigs are even worse because these same chums have zero in common with me musically, so by default I have to go alone. I've done it with autechre, Plaid (twice, natch), and Sleater Kinney, they were mostly good shows because I enjoyed the music for its own sake, but Amon Tobin I didn't care for and I was utterly miserable. I haven't gone to a gig since, thus missing P73/RJD2. Sometimes I try to chat up random people, but I'm dreadful at it and it's normally uncomfortable for all parties.

There is however one small advantage for me, in that I'm very self-conscious about my 'dancing' and if I know that someone is scrutinizing me, I'm far less likely to 'cut loose.' So the anonymity in going alone actually relaxes me in some cases.

Of course, you'll always have the occasional bad encounter...a few weeks ago I saw "Irreversible" by myself in a Detroit-area theater. When the Monica B. rape scene started, a gentleman in an overcoat came in and sat directly behind me. Now, there are about 10 people in this particular afternoon showing, and his motivations for sitting behind me are elusive at best, but I immediately moved to a less-crowded section in the back of the theater.

I never have problems at concerts -- being 6'6" with a shaved head and stoic features usually helps -- but there's always something with the movies that pops up every once in a while.

Gigs, I've been alone once. I got off work late and there was a band I really wanted to see, so I drove to Deep Ellum still wearing my godawful uniform Hawaiian shirt and khaki shorts. It just felt really awkward - I'm not the most sociable person to start with, and I wasn't drinking because I had to drive out back to A-town and work in the morning. It was just weird, I probably wouldn't do it again.

The last movie I saw with another person was the Bourne Identity. My schedule's so screwy, I decide to go at the very last minute, usually on a Monday or Tuesday. And when I do go, it's for something none of my friends want to see - and likewise, I'd rather have my eyes gouged out than see 2Fast 2Furious.

I really don't understand why going out on ones own should/would be stigmatized at all.

Plus I love the freedom, I never want to have to be linked to someone else's enjoyment of some event. If I'm at a bar or club and the person I'm with wants to leave before I do that's always a big bummer. Also, I really like chatting up random strangers in these types of places. I don't know, it's funny; I actually consider myself a pretty shy person, but for whatever reason I seem to have some facility with engaging complete strangers in these types of venues. I guess maybe it just comes from practice, I tend to do a lot of stuff alone!

I go to pubs all the time by myself. I don't have a problem with it at all, during the day at least. After about 7 o'clock it gets a bit uncomfortable, especially Fridays and Saturdays. Very melancholy. But if football's showing that's fine.

If I was travelling somewhere, or had just moved to some place, I'd definitely do everything alone without shame. I'd imagine everyone around could see and understand that I had no choice. I ought to imagine everyone around is assuming that now, even when I know I've just come from down the road. That'd be all right.

If I went to clubs, I probably wouldn't do it alone. They've always struck me as being pretty much entirely social, and I don't tend to talk to strangers or have strangers talk to me. Which saves me from scary people, at least.

i always think going to a movie or club alone would be too er...lonely and depressing.

I would only go to a show alone if I could sit down, but then I hate the normal (non-sitting etc.) atmosphere at shows enough that I'm not likely to go to a normal one anyway.

you can say that again! it was only the lead guy, jamie something, alone with an electric guitar. he does a whole lot with his voice that guy--when he played the first song of a promise (I forget what it's called), he vocalized the tape noise bit in the middle. It was terrific!

Also, it's pretty miserable to go see a band you love and have someone whose opinion you respect abuse them all the way home.

But it can be deflating to be driving home after a tremendous show and have no one to share it (and the warm glow) with. Conversely, if it was a lousy gig, then someone to support you.

-- Mr Noodles (infinitecow...) (webmail), June 11th, 2003 12:40 AM. (Mr Noodles) (later) (link)

My brian won't ever shut up!

i go to movies and shows by myself or with other people and i don't go to discos by myself or with other people

Obv inviting mentalist hell but hey walking down the street in London does that.

This is why we need an ILX diary system of some kind. I am trying to envisage how it could be, to propose something. We are intersecting locale, date, time, activity and planned attenders. I'm struggling to come up with a model that is easy to use, useful, and not insanely hard to code. The Outlook Calendar model is no good, as it doesn't let me see what might be coming up in London generally, for instance.

But it's never really that bad, I sometimes like the anonymity of it, something about the solitary thing which appeals to me too.

Do people really say "who's that weirdo".

B-b-but that's how I met three of my last four exes!

I honestly don't see the problem in going to any of these things alone -- trying to get my friends to do something other than go see one of their favorite bands is like herding cats. But then I'm a deeply introverted person, and more often than not am happy to be by myself.

Bars--ew, this is bad. Well, when I first turned 21 I had no one to go to the bar with and I INSISTED on going to this lame hippie bar all the time. I'd sit at the bar, by myself, order a beer... drink about a quarter of it, and then inevitably some dude would try and talk to me (not pervishly, just.. talking), and I'd leave. Unfun. I think I went hoping I'd meet someone cool.

Clubs, never went to one alone and I would imagine it would be even worse than the above. I love clubs, though, JBR is wrong.

Gigs, yes, I've been to one gig alone before. It was like the bar experience except I stayed for the whole thing. It was the band "Call and Response"

Eating in a restaurant alone is so embarassing, especially when I get caught without reading material so I just sadly eat alone, looking at my food. Eating lunch alone seems acceptable, but eating dinner alone is just beyond sad.

I only want people with me at any of the above if I'm invited by said people and wouldn't normally go to said places for enjoyment anyway. I don't really care for movies, bar hopping, or dance events that much -- so, yeah, I need a social reason to do those.

But holy f'in shit, I can't imagine how painful my life would be if I had to seek accompaniment to go to every gig and restaurant! *shudder*

I spent a summer in London when I was seventeen. I headed over not knowing anyone. Went out on my own (as the alternative was spending the summer reading in a flat in Camden) and had the most pheNOMenal summer. I ran into lots of great people and felt free for the first time in my life. I think that's why I like going out on my own now, wvwn if I run into people when I get to the venue - it pumps me up and I feel in control.

Obv. I prefer to go with other people.

Clubs OTOH I have gone to alone before, but as other people have said, it is because its a scene I know a LOT of people in and know they'll be there. I dont do it anymore but at one point I forced myself to, just so I could fucking well start meeting people somewhere other than online for a change.

I'd never go to an unfamiliar club alone.