What's a nice place to take someone you're about to try and split up pleasantly with?

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

You have approximately six hours to answer this question.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 16 June 2003 09:26 (twenty-two years ago)

An intimate cafe where there are no sharp objects!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 16 June 2003 09:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Places people have split up with me: pub, park, bed, doorstep, phone. Out of all of these the only one I would remotely recommend is the park.

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 16 June 2003 09:30 (twenty-two years ago)

a clifftop

― duane (doorag), Monday, 16 June 2003 09:32 (twenty-two years ago)

bed!!! whoah that's harsh Archel!!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 16 June 2003 09:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Just dont use a McDonalds like an ex of mine did :-/

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 16 June 2003 09:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Not in public, and if you think there's a likelihood of waterworks, nowhere that will take them too long to get home.

Somewhere where there will be no-one else around, so neither of you feel conspicuous, or where you might be interrupted. Not too exposed either. Given the niceness of the day, a park would be best, but find a quiet spot, and not too far from the exit, if they're likely to get upset and have to go to the bus-stop/tube on their own. (I know you want it to be pleasant, but you can never 100% predict behaviour)

― Vicky (Vicky), Monday, 16 June 2003 09:42 (twenty-two years ago)

don't pick somewhere which was a favourite independent of yr relationship (somewhere that's linked to the two of you as a couple anyway will be spoiled anyway by you not being a couple; somewhere loved by yr SO but not linked to the coupledom will be spoiled by being the scene of the dumping, which is an extra and unecessary layer of spoilage)

― mark s (mark s), Monday, 16 June 2003 09:45 (twenty-two years ago)

up the jacksie

(sorry. no really i am)

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 16 June 2003 09:49 (twenty-two years ago)

i wz once told "i don't want to see you anymore" in a really crap caff in old compton street: every time i go past i always think of being told this (which was awful) and then wonder why this hideously awful dive was the place chosen (which amuses me and now — many years later — cheers me up if anything: was it to spare the future feelings of the dumper or the dumpee? i suspect the former, as self-absorption was a big part of the mix)

― mark s (mark s), Monday, 16 June 2003 09:50 (twenty-two years ago)

(This is not a particularly serious thing by the way. I am not expecting waterworks and will be freaked out if they occur. Cafes/pubs are a very bad idea, especially pubs due to the having to have/finish a drink thing and make small talk previously).

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 16 June 2003 09:51 (twenty-two years ago)

i didnt know you were seeing anyone Matt (feels hurt)

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 16 June 2003 09:58 (twenty-two years ago)

matt are you breaking up with stevem?

― mark s (mark s), Monday, 16 June 2003 10:12 (twenty-two years ago)

mark's question has not been answered.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 16 June 2003 10:53 (twenty-two years ago)

bed!!! whoah that's harsh Archel!!

I thought this was pretty normal.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 16 June 2003 10:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah it has happened to me twice now. But maybe I'm just a crap shag.

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 16 June 2003 11:01 (twenty-two years ago)

how about Hooters?

― DV (dirtyvicar), Monday, 16 June 2003 11:10 (twenty-two years ago)

to answer mark's question i shall adopt the guise of c*l*m and say 'no, i don't like men, really

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 16 June 2003 11:12 (twenty-two years ago)

I think a disreet, neutral place is probably best. a park sounds the best idea, but def one where there wont be a load of people milling around you.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 16 June 2003 11:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Trafalgar Square is anonymous enough and you can bring up the Lady Hamilton / Nelson impossible romance angle. London Dungeon is also pretty good - it puts things into perspective.

― Pete (Pete), Monday, 16 June 2003 11:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Go here (or somewhere like it)

http://www.barnyardinn.com/images/group.jpg

Bad news should always be heard with the ability to have a good `pet' straight after.

― james (james), Monday, 16 June 2003 12:05 (twenty-two years ago)

thats one stern little pig

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 16 June 2003 12:10 (twenty-two years ago)

stevem's got a point - matt stay away from the pig he may use his pot belly for no good purposes

― james (james), Monday, 16 June 2003 12:13 (twenty-two years ago)

matt are you breaking up with stevem?

Yes. He farts in bed and insists on playing Roni Size and Coldcut records during coitus.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 16 June 2003 12:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Is coitus the right word between two men?

Seriously - Steve... this is an on-off thing that has been going on for a couple of months. I want to nip it in the bud in a nice way before it escalates into a big thing and someone ends up getting hurt.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 16 June 2003 12:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I've also been dumped in bed. Just after having sex. Dud, indeed.

― caitlin (caitlin), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:15 (twenty-two years ago)

I think I'm going to do a PHONE breakup today. :(

― Jon Williams (ex machina), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Do you have Sizzler in the UK?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:18 (twenty-two years ago)

whats wrong with her then Matt?

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:19 (twenty-two years ago)

I'll go into it all next time I speak to you offboard (whether in person or my new-fangled messenger things).

Actually, part of the reason I'm breaking my Don't Ever Post Personal Stuff rule is because I'm hoping it'll stop me from bottling it. I like this park idea.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:23 (twenty-two years ago)

(I should point out that when I was dumped in a park I then had to walk home by the river and it was all so picturesque that I was able to work up into a good old melodramatic romantic cry. But this doesn't sound like the same sort of thing.)

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:32 (twenty-two years ago)

pick a park. that neutral territory stuff is important. never a favourite pub or cafe as this will leave a lasting stain. in fact, never break up in-doors!

― Chris Radford (Chris Radford), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:37 (twenty-two years ago)

never break up near a comedy-sized frying pan!

― mark s (mark s), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Not a restaurant or bar! I just hate that, it's so insulting -- if someone is so afraid of a scene that they pick a place that public, they might as well break up with person over the phone or by email.

As suggested above, a park sounds pretty good.

― Nicole (Nicole), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:43 (twenty-two years ago)

The man who broke up with me in a pub asked me if I was going to throw my drink over him. I pointed out that I now NEEDED my drink more than ever and if I was going to throw one it would be his. But in fact I didn't, because a) I don't like to make a scene and b) I didn't like him that much in the first place.

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:46 (twenty-two years ago)

You should have drunk his drink in retaliation.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:48 (twenty-two years ago)

bennigans.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Do not break up with someone in a park as they might have hay fever and you might mistake their dribbly allergic face for snivelling over you. Though having said that I did once dump someone in a park and it seemed to go OK. But I don't think he had hay fever.

― Emma, Monday, 16 June 2003 13:56 (twenty-two years ago)

yr new s/o's house.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 16 June 2003 13:59 (twenty-two years ago)

not that uh i ever did that or anything

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I want to nip it in the bud in a nice way before it escalates into a big thing and someone ends up getting hurt.

heh.

― Sam (chirombo), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:17 (twenty-two years ago)

How big does it get Matt. Cripes!

― Pete (Pete), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm reminded of that joke about having sex with Bruce Banner ("Don't make him angry!").

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:52 (twenty-two years ago)

When I was starting puberty I thought the Incredible Hulk was a perfect allegory to the penis. When it gets excited it goes big, bursts through its clothing, hard and green.

Then I realised mine was septic and got it seen to. (Still - purple pants eh?)

― Pete (Pete), Monday, 16 June 2003 14:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I am shocked and appalled. How am I supposed to do this without ~~bursting out~~ laughing now?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:31 (twenty-two years ago)

"sorry claire, its not you its me...and i....BWAHAHAHAHA - PURPLE PANTS!"

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:52 (twenty-two years ago)

This brings to mind a discussion (between Al Ewing, Pete and me) at Tom's birthday of Aunt May having rampant sex with half the Marvel Universe. What is that sound? Ah yes, it's the very stones of the earth calling out for our destruction.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:55 (twenty-two years ago)

RADICAL THEORY I POSSIBLY ACTUALLY BELIEVE IN:

It is actually much bigger of you to break up with them in a really shitty place and in a really shitty way, because it will allow them to hate you more easily and thus get over you more quickly. Stop trying to get off scot free with all this 'pleasantly' business.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Farrell - cf Mark Millar's Trouble...

― Pete (Pete), Monday, 16 June 2003 16:23 (twenty-two years ago)

i agree with n's theory a weeny bit, though being got over may incur drinks thrown at you etc

― mark s (mark s), Monday, 16 June 2003 16:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 30 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

A better idea is to avoid getting involved with anyone and then you'll never have to worry about this!

― That Girl (thatgirl), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 19:26 (twenty-two years ago)

SEX TOY OF CHOICE: Shall we meet in the park?
THAT GIRL: Wow! A talking sex toy!!!!
STOC: *sigh*

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 19:28 (twenty-two years ago)

you may have to worry about madness, the obsessive purchase of cats, and blue balls (or the equivalent), though

― jess (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 19:29 (twenty-two years ago)

see above, for instance

― jess (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 19:29 (twenty-two years ago)

(haha Jess underlines my post nicely)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 19:30 (twenty-two years ago)

*Madly hides cats, runs to take cold shower*

― That Girl (thatgirl), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 19:36 (twenty-two years ago)

http://dating1.indiatimes.com/brokensociety/dumped/images/dumped.gif

― Jon Williams (ex machina), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 19:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Breaking up in bed in classic: It's a good way to avoid having sex for the xxth time.

― Mary (Mary), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 00:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Why transatlantic relationships don't work:

She: "Not tonight dear, I'm going to blow you off"

He: [confusion]

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 07:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Did you know that the suffix '-ock' denotes a small version of something (as in hillock, bullock etc) and thus 'bollocks' are in fact small 'bolls'? Perhaps bolls are what you end up with if you avoid relationships as above.

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 07:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I am never touching a boll weevil again.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 08:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I think the only decent ways to break up are on the phone or via email. Saves everyone embarrassment and unpleasantness. Unless you live with the unwanted, then in person.

― toraneko (toraneko), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 10:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I am never touching a boll weevil again

you mean to say you did on a regular basis?

― MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 20:46 (twenty-two years ago)

three years pass...

i wonder buttocks are miniature versions of.

― a name means a lot just by itself (lfam), Sunday, 1 October 2006 03:10 (nineteen years ago)

also, bed=dud

― a name means a lot just by itself (lfam), Sunday, 1 October 2006 03:10 (nineteen years ago)

I think I'd take that over a place like Lovers' Leap though. Depends.

― jim wentworth (wench), Sunday, 1 October 2006 05:34 (nineteen years ago)

I knew a couple who went to Paris for a romantic weekend and returned on separate trains.

― StanM (StanM), Sunday, 1 October 2006 05:38 (nineteen years ago)

Couldn't they just sit in separate carriages?

The last time someone dumped me, it was in a park, called Clarence Gardens, who I'm sure should have been a 1930s stage actor. This thread now makes me think: hmm, maybe they were reading ILX ALL ALONG!

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Sunday, 1 October 2006 06:27 (nineteen years ago)

I was dumped in bed once. I was so drunk you wouldn't believe it, and the bloke in question had in fact dumped me before. He went to Paris for the summer and came back and we met at a party, I got incredibly drunk, he started a fight with someone, I went upstairs and got sick, he put me to bed, then got in beside me and we were all snogs. Then he tried to get it on a bit further, but I wouldn't, so he told me he'd met someone while he was in Paris and we would not be getting back together. Luckily he then left and I was able to get some kip, so I would kind of recommend bed as a dumping ground in similar circumstances.

He was a fuckhead.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Sunday, 1 October 2006 09:56 (nineteen years ago)

I think it happens by phone a bit.

There was a classic one at work a few years ago, where my tearful co-worker made a general announcement to the team, after a phone call, that the person she was engaged to had been "screwing his secretary".

― Bob Six (bobbysix), Sunday, 1 October 2006 10:03 (nineteen years ago)

I've been dumped in bed too, but no sex was involved. I don't think there's nothing weird about that, since a bed is a natural place for couples to spend time and talk about their relationship, and there's no distractions. Also it's less embarrassing to cry there than in some public place. And it offers a chance for a final bit of intimacy before saying goodbye, if that's what you want.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 1 October 2006 12:46 (nineteen years ago)

I would never ever dump someone by phone (not to mention by e-mail or text message - can't think of a worse thing to do). I think you should have enough respect for other person to do it face to face, however difficult that may feel.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 2 October 2006 07:19 (nineteen years ago)

i got dumped on mIRC once!!!!!!!!

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 2 October 2006 08:01 (nineteen years ago)

funnily enough i read the first answer as An internet cafe where there are no sharp objects!

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 2 October 2006 08:02 (nineteen years ago)

I think you should have enough respect for other person to do it face to face

I dumped a girl by phone. It was the second (and last) time I dumped her ass for cheating on me. FWIW I didn't really respect her at all!

Nor the other girl I broke up with in high school over he phone. From a party no less.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 2 October 2006 14:06 (nineteen years ago)

I don't think I would enjoy being dumped in public.

― Sam: Screwed and Chopped (Molly Jones), Monday, 2 October 2006 14:08 (nineteen years ago)

i got dumped on mIRC once!!!!!!!!

that owns. i bet loads of people a have been chucked by AIM or MSN, and think they're they shit. but being chucked on IRC is far more pr0. gg!

― teh_kit (g-kit), Monday, 2 October 2006 14:15 (nineteen years ago)

cunt it, i hate making REAL typos.

― teh_kit (g-kit), Monday, 2 October 2006 14:17 (nineteen years ago)

ICQ DUMPS ANYONE?

― roc u like a § (ex machina), Monday, 2 October 2006 14:52 (nineteen years ago)

more pr0 than MSN/AIM dumpage, less so than mIRC.
nothing says "UR DUMPED" more than that fucking foghorn, tbh.

― teh_kit (g-kit), Monday, 2 October 2006 14:54 (nineteen years ago)

Ha ha - a lawnsign would be good too, if your going analogue:
"WELCOME TO DUMPSVILLE
POPULATION: YOU"

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 2 October 2006 14:57 (nineteen years ago)

The next big thing'll be being dumped on myspace. ("hey, didn't that use to say 'in a relationship' there?")

― StanM (StanM), Monday, 2 October 2006 15:21 (nineteen years ago)

Ooh! What about ILEEY? (ILE's very own special "I love everything except you" breakup corner!)

― StanM (StanM), Monday, 2 October 2006 15:24 (nineteen years ago)

teh kit haha i WISH it actually went like

/me dumps you

(it was much nicer than that)

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 2 October 2006 15:32 (nineteen years ago)

a public dumping on USENET would top it though.

alt.relationships.breakup

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 2 October 2006 15:37 (nineteen years ago)

you.me.end

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 2 October 2006 16:27 (nineteen years ago)

I got dumped by my financee. Over email. From the other side of the world. A week before I was to fly to Canada to visit him.

Lucky I hadn't bought my ticket yet. Cunt fragment.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 3 October 2006 04:11 (nineteen years ago)

Financee? Nice typo.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 3 October 2006 04:12 (nineteen years ago)

"cunt fragment" (!)

i prefer to be dumped by phone. its about 10 times less upsetting. more like 'huh. well, ok.' then you go back to watching dawsons creek.

the few times ive done the dumping its always been in my car outside their place at about 3am which was great for me because nothing enhances freedom like flying through deserted dark streets solo with all the windows down singing along to something great on the radio.

― sunny successor (katharine), Tuesday, 3 October 2006 11:56 (nineteen years ago)

and suddenly, i have a new favourite phrase.

― teh_kit (g-kit), Tuesday, 3 October 2006 12:05 (nineteen years ago)

Haha, happy memories this thread brings back. We haven't so much as seen each other since the day of this thread.

I don't know why I was so worried about looking like a bastard either, considering the writing was on the wall from the day I turned up three hours late to her birthday drinks because I was watching the FA Cup Final. We were not meant to be together.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 3 October 2006 12:13 (nineteen years ago)

bad boyfriend

― sunny successor (katharine), Tuesday, 3 October 2006 12:22 (nineteen years ago)

why would you take someone somewhere to split up with them? talk about false sense of security. do it at home. or on mIRC. if you take them somewhere, they might be thinking "aw, this is liek, totally romantix0r!" right before you DROP A DIRTY BOMB on them. so to speak.

― teh_kit (g-kit), Tuesday, 3 October 2006 12:26 (nineteen years ago)

the last time i dumped someone it was at the pub where we'd first met (i had completely forgotten about that, which perhaps demonstrates my level of commitment to the poor chap). it was quite a sore point. i felt a bit bad about that.

― gem (trisk), Tuesday, 3 October 2006 12:28 (nineteen years ago)

Better to poison one memory for him than ruin all of them ;)

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 3 October 2006 12:31 (nineteen years ago)

I was at a coffee shop once and witnessed a break-up at the table over from me. My g/f and I just sat and watched in awe. The dumpee, after the act and a few stern words was abruptly left alone, with the bill. So if you're out to humiliate someone I would recommend this approach.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Tuesday, 3 October 2006 17:06 (nineteen years ago)

ha ha i was just about to go "i can't believe nobody said up the arse" and found i already did. this happens a lot to me lately.

― electric sound of jim [and why not] (electricsound), Tuesday, 3 October 2006 22:35 (nineteen years ago)

You get taken up the arse a lot lately?

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 3 October 2006 23:10 (nineteen years ago)

only when i'm being dumped

― electric sound of jim [and why not] (electricsound), Tuesday, 3 October 2006 23:11 (nineteen years ago)

invite into dirty pizzaria bathroom to shoot heroin with look of surprised glee: "Ssh, come here, come here... lock it... check this out!!! I know, isn't it great?! This new friend at work hooked me up. But, we've got to be quick."

― Butt Dickass (Dick Butkus), Tuesday, 3 October 2006 23:17 (nineteen years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.