*rl* *'R**rk*'s Lawyers Are Starting Legal Proceedings Against Me

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What in the name of all that is good and holy is going on here?

Dear Mr. Passarino

I read with great interest your comments regarding *rl* *'R**rk* from Ch*nn*l 4's 'B*ys & G*rls' on Sunday May 18, 2003.

I quote: "We can only imagine *rl*'s rise to fame comes from her propensity for swallowing Chr*s *v*ns s*m*n"

I would strongly recommend that you have these defamatory remarks removed or I shall commence the necessary legal proceedings against you.

I expect a written apology sent to d*v*d.st**t*@gr*n*d*m*d**.c*m

Yours faithfully

D*V*D ST**T*
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
GR*N*D* T*L*V*S**N

reads the message left on www.ker-ching.blogspot.com, your all important one-stop shop for proof that all television is rubbish. I've just received a phone call from Mr St**t* as well, threatening me with legal action. I mean... I'm a 20 year old student with no money or cultural cache whatsoever. Shouldn't you people be out catching real criminals?

And, of course, I'm as pleased as punch at this. But... yeah. Wowza.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Whoa!

― s1utsky (slutsky), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:09 (twenty-two years ago)

hahaha! I hope they 'ruin' you dom!

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Who is 0rla 0'R0urke anyway?

― Nicole (Nicole), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:11 (twenty-two years ago)

"we can only imagine" so = NOT LIBELLOUS

Still, blimey! Blog power.

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:11 (twenty-two years ago)

I can only suspect that I am not worthy of human life, and should have Vernon Kaye come round my house and beat me to death in a pseudo-working class Northern accent.

Of course, irony of ironies being that when I do delete this from my blog, the controversial phrase will still exist as he's retyped it into the comments section of my blog, which I can't delete. Technology, huh?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, BLOG POWAH~~! I should have a spot in the Guardian's online section for this.

I can only dread to think how many lawsuits are gonna go pending against me when I become music editor of the Lancaster SCAN next year.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Coooooooooooooooooooooooool.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd try and palm some of this blame off on William Swygart, but he didn't write that entry. Notice how the lawyers go for the immigrant and not the English guy = two-tiered British class system.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:13 (twenty-two years ago)

are you gonna write an apology as well?

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Damn straight I am. I got to apologise to THE MAN.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:14 (twenty-two years ago)

This is just like Sacco and Vanzetti all over again. Except crapper.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:14 (twenty-two years ago)

why should you write one?

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:15 (twenty-two years ago)

May I suggest that your apology reads, simply "I am very very sorry and I wont do it again mister."

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not technically sure, actually. I mean, I'm running around blind here. Could someone a bit more legally intellectual than me here let me know what the deal is with this sort of situation?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:16 (twenty-two years ago)

My apology "0rla 0'R0urke has a really bad gag reflex, so said incident could never have happened. Allegedly"

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:17 (twenty-two years ago)

"Of course I'm wrong. It was Mrs Sta1te who swallowed Ev4ns' cum."

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Nick said that. Not me.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:18 (twenty-two years ago)

FACT: when he said who he was, I thought "Woah! My University Challenge application has come through!".

Seriously.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:19 (twenty-two years ago)

basically if they are serious they can fuck you up. libel and all that, innit.

but i would think that they have more for their team of google web researchers to do. but more than likely it was probably the pr people who googled your blog and came across the words.

― doom-e, Monday, 16 June 2003 15:19 (twenty-two years ago)

offer yr 'services' as an apology since you feel so bad.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:19 (twenty-two years ago)

A few years ago I got a lawyer letter from some dumb bimbo who I had posted a humorous email exchange with on my website. I ignored it and nothing bad happened.

― Jon Williams (ex machina), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:19 (twenty-two years ago)

and strangely enough - it could be a pr move - i.e. any pr is good pr. so they fuck you up and get orla's name out there.

― doom-e, Monday, 16 June 2003 15:20 (twenty-two years ago)

refuse to apologise as you are not "Mr Passarino".

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Mr Passarino, do you wonder, as I do, why Mr Staite begins his remarks "I read with great interest"? "I read with interest," I can see; if I were a legal firm I think I'd prefer "we read with interest"; but "with great interest," over a single phrase...sure, this is bargain-basement Freud, but methinks he doth etc.

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Misspelling of Passantino- yet more evidence of anti-Italian bias.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:22 (twenty-two years ago)

don't apologise and see what happens. could be fun!

― doom-e, Monday, 16 June 2003 15:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Could be bankrupt worthy...

I'll probably just delete it and send a "Whatever, whatever, it's not important" e-mail. I mean, it's a month old entry from a blog that gets 20 hits a day (although I think it could be more now...). I've got nothing to lose, really.

Still... I'm gonna milk this for all its worth.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:25 (twenty-two years ago)

The odd thing is you would think Mr Ev4ns would be more worried about this considering he's a married man. On the other hand despite failings such as the aforementioned B0ys And G1rls and Live With....(someone else) he's possibly a bit bored of court by now.

From a court point of view:
a) The as we imagine makes it clear that this is supposition not fact.
b) Whilst availible to the world wide web community, the chances of someone with an interest in furthering Ms 0'R0urkes career coming across your website is slim considering a websearch on her name, or the conjugation of "semen and 0rla" does not bring it up.
c) The person you should apologise to if you feel it neccessary is Ms 0'R0urke not a third party, however the right to speculate upon why and how a seemingly undertalented at her job person got said job should not require an apology as you quite obviously meant it.

A syou mention though as he quotes you he should repeat the apology to himself. Ha!

― Pete (Pete), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Again: who is Orla O'Rourke?

― NA. (Nick A.), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I am severely in the land of Uncertain Laugh-Cry Responses, here.

Man, first we get bigged up on SOTCAA's messageboard, now this... I've got to watch some telly tonight. Is that Matt Allwright programme on?

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Dude, you should have watched Classic Albums last night, focussing on Def Leppard... I've not laughed as much... ever.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:41 (twenty-two years ago)

you are repeating the alleged libel by posting the comments up here.

maybe all of ILX could be sued as well. that would be nice.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:49 (twenty-two years ago)

I like 0rla 0'R0urke. Why should a woman with a career you dislike have blown her way to the top?

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Why does this whole thing remind me of the Ralphie/Johnny Sack's wife joke feud from the Sopranos?

"A 90 pound mole? I don't get it."
"It's not a joke per se..."

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 16 June 2003 15:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Go to court, and for your defense say "First, as I am eemeegrant and no speak englich, i thought the word 'propensity' actually meant sometheeng else. Second, who the fuck is 'Mr PASSARIO'?"

― dave q, Monday, 16 June 2003 16:00 (twenty-two years ago)

or 'MR PASSARINO' even

― dave q, Monday, 16 June 2003 16:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Hang on a second. Myself and my brother just tried to find the review. The entire chunk of our blog's archive containing it has been taken down.

Now I'm cross.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 16 June 2003 16:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm almost completely sure that's just blogpsot dicking around, William.

Interestingly (or not, actually) I did say "No speke the eeenglish" to someone today, in an attempt to stop them trying to sue anyone who injured me within the past five years.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 16 June 2003 16:05 (twenty-two years ago)

you are repeating the alleged libel by posting the comments up here.
maybe all of ILX could be sued as well. that would be nice.

It might be a good idea for one of the moderators to google-proof the names/email addresses in the top post for legal reasons.

― Nicole (Nicole), Monday, 16 June 2003 16:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I was actually going to ask for that to happen...

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 16 June 2003 16:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Let them sue you, declare bankruptcy ---> Bye bye student loan/

― Ed (dali), Monday, 16 June 2003 16:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Go to the press, especially gossip columns, since this will backfire their little plan on dem.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Monday, 16 June 2003 16:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Fancy a scary journalist from Media Guardian emailing Mr. St@ite and asking him why bully a young person who is not being libellous, really? If you ask me to, I have the leverage to do this!

I'd be tempted to mail back and tell him a) you know he isn't a lawyer because any lawyer knows 'we can only imagine' prefacing what you wrote renders it an imaginary supposition, which is not libellous and b) say if he's happy to apologise for Boys and Girls being generally rubbish in a newspaper of record, maybe you'll do a swopsie as a gesture of goodwill.

― suzy (suzy), Monday, 16 June 2003 17:01 (twenty-two years ago)

who is 0rla 0'r0urke????

― anthony kyle monday (akmonday), Monday, 16 June 2003 17:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Irish girl in *very* subordinate role on crass game show who just kind of bellers in an irritating way. Not famous for anything else.

― suzy (suzy), Monday, 16 June 2003 17:10 (twenty-two years ago)

perhaps Dom's right then

*awaits surly email*

― DG (D_To_The_G), Monday, 16 June 2003 17:11 (twenty-two years ago)

A crass game show which, it's just been announced, will not be returning for any more series.

― caitlin (caitlin), Monday, 16 June 2003 17:15 (twenty-two years ago)

whoever she is she apparently did NOT give chris ev@ns a blowjob okay?

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 16 June 2003 17:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Suzy... I'd be very interested in that. I e-mailed your listed addy, but it doesn't exist. Neither does mine any more. E-mail me at lifetimepiling@hotmailNOSPAM.com if you could, that would be absolutely brilliant.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 16 June 2003 17:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 50 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

as it happens neither of the particular statements in question (ie what dom said and what i said long ago and now removed) wd bother me at all if used abt me, but that is partly i guess bcz they wd be so intrinsically ridiculous given everything in ref me

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 11:48 (twenty-two years ago)

mark yer a star, you know that.

― doom-e, Tuesday, 17 June 2003 11:51 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not so keen on the whole jail thing, to be quite frank...

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 13:24 (twenty-two years ago)

No-one ever went to jail for imagining someone gave someone else a blowjob. Otherwise a lot of people would be in jail.

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 13:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Dom, maybe you will somehow end up sharing a cell with Chris Evans, and on release he will mysteriously give you a job on a TV programme.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 13:35 (twenty-two years ago)

but how many have written abt it in a 'public' place (blog)?

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 13:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I've certainly seen it written in a public convenience (bog).

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 13:37 (twenty-two years ago)

you've def been to 'places' pete.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 13:40 (twenty-two years ago)

But he's never been to me.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 13:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Anyway, "humourous" commentary about female celebrities being sluts in order for them to get jobs = first five minutes of every episode of V. Graham Norton.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 13:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Anyway:

www.c-s-s-a.com

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 13:46 (twenty-two years ago)

English libel law is absolutely an area where playing Solicitor is a dumb idea. It's lousy and complicated law, and can't easily be analogized to US libel.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 13:48 (twenty-two years ago)

One of the reasons I didn't take Dom's comment as sexist is because I could only imagine any man working in that type of television might also funnel pork to get work from (the missus' maiden name, Piper, now seems...apt).

Doomie, have you resumed work for the Ginger Defence League or sommink?

― suzy (suzy), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 13:56 (twenty-two years ago)

i believe i stated that already, colin.

no, suzy but i believe i have worked on some high-profile cases in my time or sommink. mark s v. alan is old news. very old news. very very very old news. and rather dull, my dear.

― doom-e, Tuesday, 17 June 2003 13:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm with N.

― the pinefox, Tuesday, 17 June 2003 13:59 (twenty-two years ago)

all i'm saying is actually telling dom to take the safe road. big deal.

― doom-e, Tuesday, 17 June 2003 13:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Seriously, though, refering to 0rl@.... what's the joy? A) do we really need another ex-model on TV and B) as stated in the blog, she speaks like a prison guard from Tenko. "This week's first contestant is... NUM-BAH FOH-TEE-TOO!!!"

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 14:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Must have been elsewhere, Doomie.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 14:20 (twenty-two years ago)

this is jibber-jabber, hardly legal advice. and should not be taken as such.

― doom-e, Tuesday, 17 June 2003 14:23 (twenty-two years ago)

How is it sexist?

Isn't it more sexist to call it sexist? Unless you think appointing yourself lord protector of the female species is somehow not sexist

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 16:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Are men not allowed to see anything as sexist? Sexist.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 16:36 (twenty-two years ago)

That's not the point as you well know.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 16:54 (twenty-two years ago)

this is jibber-jabber

Doom-e = Mr. T?

― Nicole (Nicole), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 16:58 (twenty-two years ago)

hooray for nicole getting my jibber jabber reference. too many viewings of friend's video mr t tapes ...

― doom-e, Tuesday, 17 June 2003 18:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh yeah, like you're too cool to have your _own_ A Team tapes.

― mei (mei), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 18:28 (twenty-two years ago)

isnt the action man enough???? WELL ISNT IT?

― doom-e, Tuesday, 17 June 2003 18:30 (twenty-two years ago)

She is a public figure, no? So there would be some rights on your part to parody, satirize, et al her as a public figure, yes?

Just idle speculation.

― Girolamo Savonarola, Tuesday, 17 June 2003 18:32 (twenty-two years ago)

this is in england, they ain't got no first amendment

― James Blount (James Blount), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 18:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Only if he's got those wiggly eagle eyes or a string in his neck that makes him talk. FOOL!

― mei (mei), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 19:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Crawly apology sent, I'm now bricking myself with the seriousness of the matter. Oh well.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 20 June 2003 14:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Could've been a lot worse, Dom: if you'd said something about how Blair got his job you'd probably be on the rack already.

― Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Friday, 20 June 2003 15:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I have to say that this is one of the most interesting threads I've read in a while. Especially 'cause I don't actually get whatever the initial reference is - it's just all gobbly-gook and therefore quite amusing.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Friday, 20 June 2003 19:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Basically the queen loves black cock and I await my day in court with interest. Oh, and Melanie Sykes has an annoying laugh.

― Matt (Matt), Sunday, 22 June 2003 00:50 (twenty-two years ago)

confine him 'under her majesty's pleasure' now!

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Sunday, 22 June 2003 19:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Yep - this thread is making decreasing amounts of sense. I highly approve and thank you.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Monday, 23 June 2003 02:29 (twenty-two years ago)

http://homepage.ntlworld.com/ian.rankin/photos/line.jpg

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 23 June 2003 10:09 (twenty-two years ago)

which one is you?

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 23 June 2003 10:25 (twenty-two years ago)

From left to right:
Gareth, Tim and Martin.

― Pete (Pete), Monday, 23 June 2003 10:29 (twenty-two years ago)

is that supergrass?

― doom-e, Monday, 23 June 2003 10:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Fun quiz for Americans- guess which one of those guys is still alive.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 23 June 2003 10:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Apologising - best route.

You're screwed for justification because you can't prove it's true.
You'd be screwed for fair comment because your opinion is not based on facts you believed to be true.
And as far as without malice goes ...

Plus they would have much better lawyers than you and would crush you like a bug.

― Anna (Anna), Monday, 23 June 2003 14:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I am very flattered to be Brian Glover Pete, a wonderful actor and wrestler - kind of the UK equivalent of the Rock, I suppose, which must say something useful about the two countries.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 23 June 2003 17:01 (twenty-two years ago)

back to the crucial issue, which is that since they are coming after
widdle olde Dom, the statement must be true, no?

― Dave M. (rotten03), Monday, 23 June 2003 18:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Why?

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 23 June 2003 18:51 (twenty-two years ago)

would they bother otherwise? he's not the Enquirer.

― Dave M. (rotten03), Monday, 23 June 2003 19:40 (twenty-two years ago)

nineteen years pass...

man sux 4 u

― Fash Gordon (Neanderthal), Monday, 7 November 2022 23:52 (two years ago)

So, how did this resolve, old Skool ilxors still around?

― Mark G, Thursday, 10 November 2022 10:22 (two years ago)

D*V*D ST**T* otm.

― Daniel_Rf, Thursday, 10 November 2022 10:48 (two years ago)

great revive

― dogdick solanke (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 10 November 2022 10:49 (two years ago)

2003: a much simpler time when you would google someone’s name and get actual real results and not stupid fake aggregate shit. Downside to that of course is it would lead to situations like this. I assume Dom just apologized and removed the comment and everyone moved on with their lives?

― Mr. Snrub, Thursday, 10 November 2022 14:48 (two years ago)

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