Q. Whaddya ya' do when you weigh fifteen-hundred pounds????

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YOU PLAY GOALIE!!!

― Jon Williams (ex machina), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 13:11 (twenty-two years ago)

open your house to the paying public

― james (james), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 13:12 (twenty-two years ago)

and marry the Schapel sisters

― james (james), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 13:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Aim higher and try to get to 1,600!

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 13:16 (twenty-two years ago)

suffer, it would seem.

― g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 13:18 (twenty-two years ago)

have sex with the underside of yr belly

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 13:41 (twenty-two years ago)

If you are a gorilla, you sleep wherever you want to.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 13:41 (twenty-two years ago)

The obvious answers are:

1. Not very much.
2. Have a massive heart attack.

― ChristineSH (chrissie1068), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 14:03 (twenty-two years ago)

3. Die young.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 14:06 (twenty-two years ago)

if you're a girl wear a t-shirt & leggings
if you're a boy wear a t-shirt & tracky bottoms with a baseball cap.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 14:11 (twenty-two years ago)

go on...
oprah winfry
ricki lake
montel williams
tricia
sally-jessy raphael
maury povich
etc etc

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 14:12 (twenty-two years ago)

get lifted by a crane out the door to the hospital.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 14:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Mr c-nn-n is OTM on this one.

― Mark C (Mark C), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 14:17 (twenty-two years ago)

have nitwits start and answer threads about you on internet message boards

― jess (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 14:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Start threads about Emma Bunton.

― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 14:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Appear in a documentary so you can tell the world you're a total fat bastard, but you're gonna lose 1,000lbs in the next 12 months. Only you can't be arsed, really.

Question: since most of these people seem to be decidedly working class, and even impoverished, how on earth do they afford all the food they get through? Is there a Fat Bastards Incapacity Benefit you can apply for or what? Can I wear a fat-suit, apply for it, then spend all the extra cash on nice things (i.e. not food)? Hmmm...

― ChristineSH (chrissie1068), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 14:21 (twenty-two years ago)

god, can ile descend any further into the realms of bad improv comedy

― jess (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 14:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Dude just go away then if you don't like it.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 14:28 (twenty-two years ago)

as for the 1500-lb. question:

be a car

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 14:28 (twenty-two years ago)

you took the words right out of my mouth (oooh record a track with cher)

― james (james), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 14:29 (twenty-two years ago)

give birth to Gilbert Grape

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 14:30 (twenty-two years ago)

eat

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 14:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Question: since most of these people seem to be decidedly working class, and even impoverished, how on earth do they afford all the food they get through?

I dunno if yr seriously asking this or not, but the answer is: cheaper foods are generally much worse for you than expensive foods (i.e. processed shit, spaghettios, mcdonalds, etc). Republicans seem to think poor people get fat thanks to caviar and steak via their welfare checks, but it ain't the case.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 14:30 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.winternet.com/~mikelr/assets/Jerk.jpg
^ jess

― Jon Williams (ex machina), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 14:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, I was being partly serious. Because, I'm not talking about your average overweight person, who might either eat rather too much or be lazy or have a glandular issue or whatever... I'm talking about these *huge* people you see on TV sometimes, and often they're living in really bad housing, rough areas, etc. Yet, they run through what they eat in a day -- it's not just two or three Big Macs for lunch... it's like MOUNTAINS of food. Of all kinds.

I don't think our household could be considered poor, you know, but we're not well-off. We couldn't possibly get through that amount of stuff if we wanted to, purely for financial reasons. So, yes, I find it rather curious...

― ChristineSH (chrissie1068), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 14:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Cry sweet, buttery tears.

― NA. (Nick A.), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 15:02 (twenty-two years ago)

how do you wipe yer ass?

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 15:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't think it's neccessarily true that cheaper foods are worse for you than expensive foood.

Fresh fruits and veggies in season are inexpensive. Dry pasta, rice, beans, bread, eggs amd other staples are also pretty cheap.

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 15:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Turn off the Atom & His Package record, because it hurts you... in here. It's like it's speaking directly to you.

― Chris P (Chris P), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 15:25 (twenty-two years ago)

how do you wipe yer ass?

With a rag on a stick

― james (james), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 15:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Hopefully, that's after you wash your back with it.

― NA. (Nick A.), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 15:37 (twenty-two years ago)

or with one of those things golfers use to clean their shoes. rub yer ass across it once or twice.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 15:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Jess, nice hair!

Answer: you merge with tank parts and fite the floating Gareth head for total world domination.

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 18 June 2003 15:51 (twenty-two years ago)

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