A Good Man is Gone

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My dad just called to tell me that my grandfather died about 20 minutes ago. I knew it was coming, and I'm at work, so I can't really do anything. But I'm very sad.
I sat with him for about an hour on Saturday. His kidneys had shut down the night before and he was pretty much just sleeping since then.
I'm really sad.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 23 June 2003 19:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I am so very, very sad for you.

― Jodi (Celerina), Monday, 23 June 2003 19:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I feel for you too Horace.

― cybele (cybele), Monday, 23 June 2003 19:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Sorry to hear that, Horace. That sucks, any way you slice it.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Monday, 23 June 2003 19:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Knowing doesn't really change things, I suppose. I'm sorry, Horace.

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 23 June 2003 19:45 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah dude, this is sad news.

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 23 June 2003 19:45 (twenty-two years ago)

thanks. all of you.
I am proud to be his grandson, and that (with a an extra inch for every generation) I am both his and my father's spitting image. and I know that he was very proud of me.
He died in his own home, in his own chair (or possibly bed, but he spent most of the time in his chair) with his big fat family around him.
And on his end table beside his chair, when I was up there on Saturday, was a stack of clippings of my writing. Evidence that he was showing them, along with photos of his other 18 grandkids, to those who gathered around him.
He would have been 78 this September.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 23 June 2003 19:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Sorry to hear it. Stay strong, remember the good times (write 'em all down NOW), keep yourself happy.

― Neudonym, Monday, 23 June 2003 19:53 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm sorry to hear this, Horace.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Monday, 23 June 2003 19:56 (twenty-two years ago)

http://highlandroots.co.uk/smallwindows/crest-matheson.gif
my family crest. the motto means: Do and Hope

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 23 June 2003 20:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm so sorry to hear this, Horace. It sounds like your grandfather was a wonderful man - you should talk about him often, and remember him with love.

Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there, I did not die.

― C J (C J), Monday, 23 June 2003 20:08 (twenty-two years ago)

My condolences to you and yours, Horace.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 23 June 2003 20:12 (twenty-two years ago)

*hugs* It's a hard thing when it happens. My best.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 23 June 2003 20:25 (twenty-two years ago)

My condolences as well. It still hurts even when you expect it, which SUCKS.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 23 June 2003 20:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Condolences to you, Horace. I am very sorry to hear of your loss.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 23 June 2003 20:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Oof. Sorry to hear that.

― Chris P (Chris P), Monday, 23 June 2003 20:27 (twenty-two years ago)

You have my condolences as well, Horace.

― s1utsky (slutsky), Monday, 23 June 2003 20:39 (twenty-two years ago)

God, Horace, my condolences. I work with my grandfather almost every day (80 years old, still out hanging sheetrock and painting with us), I don't know what I'll do when he passes on. I can't even think about it.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Monday, 23 June 2003 20:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm really sorry, Horace. I hope it's some consolation that, as far as a death can be a good one, this sounds a pretty good one.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 23 June 2003 20:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I know how you feel Horace as I just lost my grandfather a couple of months ago. Just remember that part of the reason you're a good person is because of him and that you should carry that with you for the rest of your days. Please take care.

― Bryan (Bryan), Monday, 23 June 2003 21:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Horace, I'm so sorry...hugs I know that's a small start, but tis heartfelt. I can empathise w/ you: I lost my grandfather from lung cancer (he was 65; I was 8). I can still recall the smell of tobacco on his clothes. It was comforting, somehow.

If this helps at all, at least he was able to go peacefully. I'll be thinking of you.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Monday, 23 June 2003 21:14 (twenty-two years ago)

That's terrible Horace, I hope you cope as well as is possible.

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 23 June 2003 21:17 (twenty-two years ago)

It's the way of the world. All my sympathies, Horace, and take comfort in the great memories, as one day the happiness they make you feel will outweigh the sadness.

― Mark C (Mark C), Monday, 23 June 2003 21:28 (twenty-two years ago)

It's something you can't prepare for. My grandfather was the first close person in my life that I lost, and that was several years ago, and I still think about him a lot. My sympathies are with you.

― jewelly (jewelly), Monday, 23 June 2003 21:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd like to express my sympathies, too.

― Christine 'Green Leafy Dragon' Indigo (cindigo), Monday, 23 June 2003 21:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I know exactly how you feel. It will almost be a year since the same thing happened to me.

― donut bitch (donut), Monday, 23 June 2003 22:14 (twenty-two years ago)

I am saddened to hear of your loss, Horace.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 00:45 (twenty-two years ago)

all the best

― Matt (Matt), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 01:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm very sorry Horace. Wishing you and yours the best....

― Chris Barrus (Chris Barrus), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 01:40 (twenty-two years ago)

That's terrible, Horace. I'm glad you have that pride in him and had the chance to spend the time with him that you did.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 02:53 (twenty-two years ago)

It is sad to hear that such a fantastic-sounding human being has passed on. You have my most sincere condolences, Horace.

― Innocent Dreamer (Dee the Lurker), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 03:06 (twenty-two years ago)

My condolences, Horace. It sounds like he didn't suffer much at the end, which is all you can hope for at that point. Rest In Peace.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 03:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Thanks everybody.
It means a lot.
After work I went down to my neighbourhood Irish bar and threw back three doubles of Grandpa's favourite drink, rum & coke.
Sort of an immature thing to do, but grief is not a very rational emotion.
Afterward I went over to my parents and spend the night looking through photo albums and saw his whole life there and saw that he was always smiling and making other people smile.
That's his legacy and his charge and I think that that's a pretty noble thing to live up to.

So thanks again everybody, it's nice to know that there's this much compassion at ILX.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 14:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Sorry to hear of your loss Horace.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 14:04 (twenty-two years ago)

My deepest sympathies Horace. (i have onlt just seen the thread) I think drinking his fave drink was a splendid idea. I hope you are holding up.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 14:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Today on the radio I heard a beautiful excerpt from the speech which Robert Green Ingersoll made at his brother's funeral. I just wanted to share it with you.

"He believed that happiness was the only good, reason the only torch, justice the only worship, humanity the only religion, and love the only priest. He added to the sum of human joy; and were every one to whom he did some loving service to bring a blossom to his grave, he would sleep to-night beneath a wilderness of flowers"

(and ditto what Pinkpanther said)

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 14:09 (twenty-two years ago)

That's fucking beautiful.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 14:11 (twenty-two years ago)

please accept my sympathies also Horace. my thoughts are with you and your family.

― angela (angela), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 14:11 (twenty-two years ago)

sorry to hear it.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 15:47 (twenty-two years ago)

many hugs and well-wishes to Horace

― M Matos (M Matos), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 16:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I just found this photo, from left to right: Louise Pitre of Broadway's Mamma Mia, Baseball Great Roger Clemons, and My Grandpa.
This was on his trip to NYC in May 2002.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 16:39 (twenty-two years ago)

oops, forgot to link the photo:
http://www.louisepitre.com/roger_clemens_pop_matheson.JPG

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 16:39 (twenty-two years ago)

So sorry for your loss Horace. I hope that thoughts of him can still make you smile, through the grief.

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 16:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Horace, that was a lovely photo. When times get rough, at least you will have that smiling back at you.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 24 June 2003 17:24 (twenty-two years ago)

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