This is the thread where I keep up the bitterness quotient about me not being able to go to Glastonbury to a surprising degree

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Apparently this years Glastonbury is going to be WORST GLASTO EVAH!!!! And a wedding in Guilford is easily the superior option, plus of course three days extra work.

Did anyone read in the national newspapers about the Somerset Nit epidemic.

― Pete (Pete), Thursday, 26 June 2003 09:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't care about it as on Saturday morning we'll be driving off for the Chris and Vicky Francofest 2003, a week of nothing but cheap (but good) Champagne, horse, gorgeous bread, relaxing and having fun. And it has showers and clean toilets, not to mention a proper bed. And (and this is the best bit) it'll cost us less than it would ghave cost us to go to Glasto.

― chris (chris), Thursday, 26 June 2003 09:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I heard that they've released packs of radioactive GM wolves on the site in order to dissuade people from jumping the fence. And that all the acts have cancelled and are being replaced by the BBC's comic relief "rocky horror" travesty for 72 hours straight

― j0e (j0e), Thursday, 26 June 2003 10:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Mmm, horse.

― Sam (chirombo), Thursday, 26 June 2003 10:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Chris, where are you going?

― Sam (chirombo), Thursday, 26 June 2003 10:01 (twenty-two years ago)

A small village just outside St Quentin, which is halfway between Arras and Reims.

― chris (chris), Thursday, 26 June 2003 10:03 (twenty-two years ago)

St Quentin the jail?

Actually I've heard they've turned Glastonbury into a maximum security prisson, with the Eagle s headlining evverynight - subtly changing the lyrics to Hotel California to say
"You take your wristband off any time you like, but you can never leave".

― Pete (Pete), Thursday, 26 June 2003 10:09 (twenty-two years ago)

that's san quentin isn't it?

They're all going to be worried when james York and Jenny Agutter appear, I can tells ya.

― chris (chris), Thursday, 26 June 2003 10:10 (twenty-two years ago)

WHat d'ya mean we all die when we're thirty?

(Tom as old man on surface shocker).

"All In One Breakfast Bap Are People"

― Pete (Pete), Thursday, 26 June 2003 10:12 (twenty-two years ago)

All the food outlets have been changed to McDonalds and Starbucks. Unfortunately the only vegetarian food for sale is in the VIP area's TGI Fridays.

― j0e (j0e), Thursday, 26 June 2003 10:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Joe bananas is people!

― chris (chris), Thursday, 26 June 2003 10:14 (twenty-two years ago)

It certainly isn't blankets I can tell you. The tog value of a Joe Bananas blanket is -10.

How I laughed when I saw the "No tentpoles allowed on site" sign on the news this morning.

― Pete (Pete), Thursday, 26 June 2003 10:17 (twenty-two years ago)

and have you all heard about the dress code??

― j0e (j0e), Thursday, 26 June 2003 10:17 (twenty-two years ago)

"wacky hats are compulsory on site - by order Michael Eavis"

― chris (chris), Thursday, 26 June 2003 10:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Its going to rain every day there. The billed acts will all have to be cancelled because of safety considerations, being replaced by hippies with acoustic guitars.

The only other entertainment will be compulsory mud-wrestling.

― Mooro (Mooro), Thursday, 26 June 2003 10:20 (twenty-two years ago)

And beards. So Tom's okay then.

Just imagine Charlton Heston running up to the pyramid stage: "my god you fools, you did it. You really did it" being chased by hippies in candle powered boats on a river of piss and effluent.

― Pete (Pete), Thursday, 26 June 2003 10:20 (twenty-two years ago)

I have to admit, I really wanted to go, but then this mornign I heard that there will be torrential rain, culminating is blizzard/snow storms just as the bands start on friday. What a shame eh?!!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 26 June 2003 10:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Hang, mud wrestling?! We are s'posed to say how rubbish it's gonna be, not how great!!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 26 June 2003 10:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm so going to miss being surrounded by evil cunts trying to rob my tent. And pretentious cock-suckers who think they represent 'the real Glastonbury'. And people trying to sell me drugs that don't work. And other assorted pond life.

― James Ball (James Ball), Thursday, 26 June 2003 10:22 (twenty-two years ago)

No, no no: Mud wrestling, wrestling with the cryogenically revived glam rock band of the 1970's.

― Pete (Pete), Thursday, 26 June 2003 10:22 (twenty-two years ago)

The toilets are full already and the vans that empty them have all broken down

― chris (chris), Thursday, 26 June 2003 10:25 (twenty-two years ago)

The New Bands Tent has apparently sprouted limbs and is now in the habit of creaping up behind people unawares, ambushing them with a band playing Oasis like caterwhauling from Salford.

― Pete (Pete), Thursday, 26 June 2003 10:30 (twenty-two years ago)

The comperes will now be Sid Owen and Kate Lawler

― j0e (j0e), Thursday, 26 June 2003 10:47 (twenty-two years ago)

actually none of this makes it sound worse than it was in 1997

― j0e (j0e), Thursday, 26 June 2003 10:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Wrestling with Mud! that would be dyna-mite!

― Mooro (Mooro), Thursday, 26 June 2003 10:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Some might even say it would be Sweet!

This year someone will be finally ritually sacrificed on the top of the Pyramid as homage to Quetzacoatl / the early seventies Aztec bar advert.

― Pete (Pete), Thursday, 26 June 2003 10:53 (twenty-two years ago)

and everybody's going to bring 4x4s instead of tents. people will shout "BOLLOCKS!" all day as well as all night.

― j0e (j0e), Thursday, 26 June 2003 10:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh Mud wrestling, I am glad I am not going then!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 26 June 2003 11:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Everyone who enters the site must have their skull removed, by order of M. Eavis. The skulls will be stored in a big bunker underneath the toilets, and after the festival when they reinsert everyone's cranium there is no guarantee that everyone will get the right ones back as no one can be arsed to label the skulls properly. This is mainly due to the fact that Eavis thinks this would be funny.

― Chriddof (Chriddof), Thursday, 26 June 2003 12:24 (twenty-two years ago)

You don't need to be there. The BBC's coverage is being fronted by Phill Jupitus. That's more than good enough for me.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 26 June 2003 12:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I understand that someone will be removing our hero's heart through his ribcage just by repeating "Om Nom Shavar" halfway through Radiohead's set.

― Pete (Pete), Thursday, 26 June 2003 14:17 (twenty-two years ago)

radiohead have pulled out and been replaced with the roly-polys

― j0e (j0e), Thursday, 26 June 2003 14:25 (twenty-two years ago)

that would be a good thing, damn I wish I was going now :o(

― chris (chris), Thursday, 26 June 2003 14:26 (twenty-two years ago)

The worse thing about Radiohead pulling out is that it means somewhere along the line they must have put it in.

I believe the cinema field is only showing Howard: A New Breed OF Hero

― Pete (Pete), Thursday, 26 June 2003 14:29 (twenty-two years ago)

and Linda Green

― j0e (j0e), Thursday, 26 June 2003 14:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Hi, I'm Osama Bin Laden and I'd like to say that there'll be one hell of a spectacular going down at Glasto, and I don't mean Thom Yorke getting a desultory flaccid BJ off a rat-faced groupie who doesn't know she has chlamydia.

― Osama Bin Laden, c/o Dick Cheney's secret bunker (Mark C), Thursday, 26 June 2003 14:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Linda Green should get it on with Russell Square and if they have a kid they could call it David Hyde-Park.

Osama in tipping over toilets hell.

― Pete (Pete), Thursday, 26 June 2003 14:49 (twenty-two years ago)

YEah, sitting round drinking alcohol made of pears and singing Ticket To Ride over happy hardcore classics. Wankerz.

― Pete (Pete), Thursday, 26 June 2003 17:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Keep on keeping on. First band on stage right about now. Jaws drop when the audience realise that every band today will actually just be Moby doing covers in Avid Merrion style masks.

― Pete (Pete), Friday, 27 June 2003 10:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I hear that Kim and Aggi are filming a special programme called "How Clean Is Your Tent" and are currently berating Matt DC for not bringing along a scouring pad

― j0e (j0e), Friday, 27 June 2003 10:18 (twenty-two years ago)

and for not caring to distingish his cleaning-water bottles from his used urine bottles

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 27 June 2003 10:44 (twenty-two years ago)

we could do with a shot of the Gareth head hovering over the Glastonbury site disapprovingly right about now

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 27 June 2003 11:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Does Gareth disapprove of Glastonbury? We know he likes brown which is the colour that Glastonbury is brought to us by.

― Pete (Pete), Friday, 27 June 2003 11:15 (twenty-two years ago)

why does Glastonbury dominate the news/media so much now?

its like this desperate chase for coolness by the sheep-like media. ten years ago this didnt seem to be the case. like Phoenix and Reading it was just seen as something for an alt crowd and not particularly an attractive proposition to whoring media pundits, pop culturalists and the Daily fucking Mail with their '2 page guide to Glastonbury' ("The Dance tent - for those who like to bop to repetetive beats..."). perhaps i'm wrong but since the 'mud years' which everyone continues to mention, making a big deal about how it always rains and becomes a mudbath at Glastonbury when this has rarely been the case, festivals seem to have taken on this newer, cooler mantle. it reminds me of Ibiza which the dance press always made a huge fuss about, to the point where you wonder if people are really thinking about the negative aspects at all. it just seems like mindless championing of hedonism that tends to remain more fantasy than reality e.g. this perception that Glastonbury or Ibiza are just 100% unquestionably fantastic and if you've never been then you must be some kind of fun-hating curmudgeon. i enjoyed Glastonbury for the most part but come Sunday afternoon I tended to feel a combination of eagerness to just get home and back to normality and sanitation, and disappointment that somehow it had not lived up the unrealistic expectations purported by NME and the other outlets they influence far too much (Radio 1 and any entertainment based programme on TV especially).

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 27 June 2003 13:00 (twenty-two years ago)

the media is run by a cabal of 12 foot plutocrats lizards who in their 12-inch student-tadpole youth desperately wished to be punk rock reviewers for nme/sounds etc and have never got over this

(ps this is TRUE!!)

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 27 June 2003 14:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I remember a funny thing I saw on GMTV the day after the infamous Glastonbury of 1997 - a visibly shaken reporter saying that he hadn't seen conditions this bad since 1990 when the Kurds were escaping Iraq shortly before the first Gulf War, and he kept on gesturing towards some mud-covered E-blown loon in the background and saying "He looks violent, so we may have to end this broadcast any second!".

― Chriddof (Chriddof), Friday, 27 June 2003 16:38 (twenty-two years ago)

We don't need to make things up: Glastonbury will feature the Stereophonics and didgeridoo workshops and macrobiotic food. I'm going to the HMV sale instead.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 27 June 2003 18:37 (twenty-two years ago)

macrobiotic? don't you mean "emetic"?

― j0e (j0e), Friday, 27 June 2003 21:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't think that's how they bill it, but sure.

Also, having watched some of the coverage so far, David Gray.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 28 June 2003 16:10 (twenty-two years ago)

i spoke to ronan at glastonbury last night. he says he saw toby anna and carsmile steve and that audio bullys are the best so far but that they didnt play 'the snow'

― gareth (gareth), Saturday, 28 June 2003 16:11 (twenty-two years ago)

poor ronan!! it must have been like alice and the cheshire cat except w/o the smile obv

― mark s (mark s), Saturday, 28 June 2003 16:13 (twenty-two years ago)

not playing 'The Snow' = fucking pile of shite rip-off

― stevem (blueski), Saturday, 28 June 2003 16:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Mrs Mooro has had little sleep but has seen David/Craig David/Gray & REM & was off to see Jools H when I spoke to her. Oh, & got married & divorced.

I too visited HMV & bought 6 CD's - spendthrift!

― Mooro (Mooro), Saturday, 28 June 2003 17:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Jools Holland = the ultimate reason to stay away from any festival

― j0e (j0e), Saturday, 28 June 2003 17:47 (twenty-two years ago)

still wearing the same unwashed jeans and jacket, dirty get

― stevem (blueski), Saturday, 28 June 2003 17:49 (twenty-two years ago)

the portryal in the media continues to piss me off

you can't read a feature on it without them plastering pictures from '98 effectively saying 'ha ha ha, look, look at the muddy idiots, see, they're not cool really, you're better off at home for sure' and ageing newscasters seeming quite surprised that there's such a dearth of mud - which is the way its been for the last 5 years.

in other news, organisers call it the 'best Glastonbury ever' for the 26th year running

― stevem (blueski), Sunday, 29 June 2003 11:24 (twenty-two years ago)

even though the dance tent is currently hosting Suggs doing a karaoke version of "Ceclilia"? coming up next: China Black

― j0e (j0e), Sunday, 29 June 2003 11:33 (twenty-two years ago)

The Mail's front page is Kate Moss at Glasters with some crusty.

― jel -- (jel), Sunday, 29 June 2003 12:12 (twenty-two years ago)

why was kate moss there? were they short of microphone stands?

― j0e (j0e), Sunday, 29 June 2003 14:34 (twenty-two years ago)

hayoooooooo

― stevem (blueski), Sunday, 29 June 2003 14:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Proof positive that this heaving morass of hippie nonsense addles the brains of our finest young people: Lixi texts me yesterday evening to say she's watching The Durutti Column. Five minutes later she says they've just done "Up The Junction". Whaaat?!

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Sunday, 29 June 2003 16:09 (twenty-two years ago)

James Dean Bradfield was doing an acoustic version of Art Garfunkel's Bright Eyes on the BBC2 coverage earlier.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 29 June 2003 17:50 (twenty-two years ago)

the world is not yet ready for that version

― mark s (mark s), Sunday, 29 June 2003 18:57 (twenty-two years ago)

The Manics been doing that live since at least 1994. It was on a B-side of something off the Holy Bible as well. It sucks.

― ailsa (ailsa), Sunday, 29 June 2003 19:07 (twenty-two years ago)

bbc1 tv coverage - dire as usual. I'd rather see two songs per artist (like channel 4 did years ago) and none of the chats between presenters.

― s.r.w. (s.r.w.), Monday, 30 June 2003 06:42 (twenty-two years ago)

why the bitterness? has anyone looked at the lineup of this thing? only fules would go to this *runs away*.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 30 June 2003 07:16 (twenty-two years ago)

24 was much better. Blood everywhere,

― Pete (Pete), Monday, 30 June 2003 08:58 (twenty-two years ago)

GAY BAR!

― Graham (graham), Monday, 30 June 2003 10:33 (twenty-two years ago)

I have to say, I am already very sick of the Radiohead 'haunting moment when they did Karma Police or the 'kerazy' Flaming Lips & their stupid costumes or Electric 6 & their 'amazing' Gay Bar. It's over people, leave it!!! that is all.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 30 June 2003 10:41 (twenty-two years ago)

GAY BAR

― Graham (graham), Monday, 30 June 2003 11:04 (twenty-two years ago)

JOE HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THE ROCKY HORROR THING YOU FUCKER?

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 07:17 (twenty-two years ago)

BEST GLASTO EVAH!

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 08:12 (twenty-two years ago)

GAY BAR!

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 08:13 (twenty-two years ago)

WINE BAR!

― RickyT (RickyT), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 08:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I would never dream of turning up at Glastonbury without a scouring pad. You have to get the filth off somehow.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 09:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Electric Six were k-rub apart from Wine Bar and Danger! High Voltage

― RickyT (RickyT), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 09:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Even those weren't that good. I shall use the coppers I had saved for the E6 album on the new waxing by THE DARKNESS instead.

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 09:22 (twenty-two years ago)

The Darkness = Muse + Spinal Tap from what i can tell...so er, yeh, great!

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 10:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Darkness on TOTP = fantastic!! Like the NWOBHM all over again! Tygers of Pan Tang!!

How I wish Sounds still existed - they'd be their fave band of the moment.

― Dr. C (Dr. C), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 10:40 (twenty-two years ago)

GIMME A D!

GIMME AN ARKNESS!

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 10:44 (twenty-two years ago)

two years pass...

who needs to go to glasto anymore?!??!?!?!1

ooooh brothers

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 15:55 (twenty years ago)

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