Not really an ILE thread coz it's about someone I really don't like at all. However, if you really fudgin' hate Tim Henman then I will probably love you...

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

I don't know what it is about the guy but her drives me CRAZY. Maybe it's the fact that he's a staunch Conservative (a la Seb Coe), maybe it's his face (insufferably smug and arrogant-looking even though he's got nothing to be smug and arrogant about cos he's actually quite rubbish at tennis), maybe it's because he gives the tabloid press something to be all jingoistic about (but prob not coz I like the England football team), it could possibly even be Lucy, his girlfriend (they look spectacularly annoying and squeaky clean when they're together - just the sort of people you'd hate living nextdoor to), there's a chance it's coz I just really hate tennis, but most of all I think it's the STUPID F***IN' FIST-SHAKING THING he does every time he scores a point (scoring a point aint a big deal, it's what you're supposed to do you tosser - you may just earn the right if you actually WIN SOMETHING, cretin!!!). Does anyone else feel like this or is it just me?

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 26 June 2003 13:55 (twenty-two years ago)

hataz gets no love

henman gets no trophies

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 26 June 2003 14:09 (twenty-two years ago)

he has the cold dead eyes of a shark. and an underbite

― j0e (j0e), Thursday, 26 June 2003 14:15 (twenty-two years ago)

i loathe the way his dorsal fin cuts through the surf as the double basses play their relentless two-note ostinato

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 26 June 2003 14:16 (twenty-two years ago)

stop attacking men joe ;)

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 26 June 2003 14:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Henman = Jaws = Classic!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 26 June 2003 14:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Who says he's a Conservative? (I'm not saying he isn't.)

― the pinefox, Thursday, 26 June 2003 14:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Henman actually isn't rubbish at tennis; someone who consistently makes the Wimbledon semi-finals can't realistically be called "rubbish".

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 26 June 2003 14:35 (twenty-two years ago)

this is true...people on this thread are just being 'fucking British'

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 26 June 2003 14:37 (twenty-two years ago)

he never wins anything and he only ever gets anywhere at wimbledon and i hate him so he IS rubbish! Go away with you and your unnatural Henmanite ways!

Re the Conservative thing, it's pretty well-documented... i work in newspapers and have come across this fact several times... mark my words, he'll end up like Buster Mottram - Burzum of the tennis circuit!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 26 June 2003 14:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Dave Stelfox is so OTM. that faux-intense fist shaking this is just the gay. he's an alright tennis player, but he has no hope in hell against quality players. if he ever wins wimbledon, i'll eat the blended shit for the rest of my life.

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Thursday, 26 June 2003 14:39 (twenty-two years ago)

if he burns down the umpire's chair after losing the semi-final he is the best shark ever

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 26 June 2003 14:40 (twenty-two years ago)

he's from Weston-on-the-Green. Of course he's a Tory!

― MarkH (MarkH), Thursday, 26 June 2003 14:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I hate tennis, not just Henman.
It has replaced The Simpsons at the moment which was my one and only salvation from coming home from work at 6pm. DUD

― Fuzzy (Fuzzy), Thursday, 26 June 2003 14:41 (twenty-two years ago)

He's the best tennis player Britain has had for many many years, people should count their blessings.

― chris (chris), Thursday, 26 June 2003 14:42 (twenty-two years ago)

if he burns down the umpire's chair after losing the semi-final he is the best shark ever

that is just the most sublime, beautiful thing i have ever read!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 26 June 2003 14:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I fucking hate him with almost irrational passion.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Thursday, 26 June 2003 14:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I hate the fact that he's our best tennis player when Greg Rusedski is far better looking. Yes I am a shallow bitch - not that it needed confirming

― j0e (j0e), Thursday, 26 June 2003 14:50 (twenty-two years ago)

9 singles titles = "he never wins anything"?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 26 June 2003 14:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes Dan, but just look at his fucking ugly smug smackable face in that picture.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Thursday, 26 June 2003 14:52 (twenty-two years ago)

he looks like a trainee policeman

― j0e (j0e), Thursday, 26 June 2003 14:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Like a trainee policeman shark.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Thursday, 26 June 2003 14:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't recall ever saying I liked him! FACTUAL HATE IS BEST, PEOPLE.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 26 June 2003 14:54 (twenty-two years ago)

9 singles titles = "he never wins anything"?

i don't care - i refuse to read about him winning anything. he's a satanist, half-shark, umpire-burning nazi ... it's all here what more proof do you need?!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 26 June 2003 14:55 (twenty-two years ago)

yes - policemans helmets (no sniggering at the back) are shaped so they cover the dorsal fins. it's a big conspiracy. we're being run by a SHARK MAFIA

― j0e (j0e), Thursday, 26 June 2003 14:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I think the pathetic sight of Greg's blow-up yesterday just shows how much we should appreciate Henman's determination and bottle. Yes, he'll never win Wimbledon but there's no disgrace in his record of semis and consistent top ten ranking. At least you know that he gives everything he's got each time he steps on the court. If there's anything missing it's probably power c/w Sampras (at his peak) and all round flair combined with ultra-fitness c/w Agassi and the 2002 version Hewitt. I'd back Tim against Roddick though.

And why does it matter if he's a Tory?

― Dr. C (Dr. C), Thursday, 26 June 2003 14:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Nick Southall speaks the inalienable truth.

― Alex K (Alex K), Thursday, 26 June 2003 15:00 (twenty-two years ago)

henman pisses me off, its his face, his general wimpy demeanor, and just the fact that they took Neighbours off for this shit means he's a surefire candidate for a Quincy cavity search:
http://www.inquire.net/quincy/images/premiere.jpg
LETS GO BACK TO THE BODY!

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Thursday, 26 June 2003 15:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Sorry Dave, I like him. He's a winner. And really quite a good tennis player, actually.

Apart from that though all the rest of your points are valid / true.

― Cozen (Cozen), Thursday, 26 June 2003 16:04 (twenty-two years ago)

and he's out

hoorah

― j0e (j0e), Thursday, 3 July 2003 16:29 (twenty-two years ago)

two years pass...

Rar!

he's a satanist, half-shark, umpire-burning nazi

Yesyesyes!

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 09:15 (nineteen years ago)

henman is like anna kournikova in the minds of people who don't follow tennis (and people who don't follow tennis are by defn mad and weird and their opinions are not to be taken seriously) - "he doesn't win anything!" "she's rubbish at tennis!" bollocks, they were both highly, highly successful professionals who just didn't have what it takes to get to the very top of the game - no shame in that, they still both reached the top 1% in the world at their profession. henman should certainly have no regrets about his career; kournikova, maybe she could have done more, but she seems happy now, which is pretty much all that should matter!

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 09:21 (nineteen years ago)

she could've released an album, or if she did, a better one!

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 09:27 (nineteen years ago)

She released a calendar, if I recall...

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 09:31 (nineteen years ago)

she released a perfume as well.

i actually think anna kournikova is one of the greatest role models of our time, i can elucidate on this when i have time.

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 09:38 (nineteen years ago)

but it has to do with realising what makes you content vs killing yourself through ambition

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 09:38 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, that whole vapidity-over-content thing is a great example to set.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 09:41 (nineteen years ago)

Matt Le Tissier!

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 09:42 (nineteen years ago)

i don't think she's vapid at all! professional athletes tend not to be the sharpest, but kournikova's certainly towards the more intelligent end of the scale.

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 09:42 (nineteen years ago)

Stupid and vapid are not the same. Doing a calendar? A perfume? Hardly beacons of glory.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 09:44 (nineteen years ago)

why should she have to aim for glory?

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 09:47 (nineteen years ago)

because then she could add "The sweet smell of success" to the ads.

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 09:49 (nineteen years ago)

why should she have to aim for glory?

Because she's a professional athlete?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 09:51 (nineteen years ago)

Roy Keane would be disgusted with you, Lex.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 09:51 (nineteen years ago)

essentially i see kournikova's choices as a reaction against a culture of ultra-competitive, ultra-success-driven attitudes towards life and careers which demand that we must ACHIEVE!!! and that if we are don't attain the best possible results in our professional lives we are failures, even if this comes at the expense of enjoying the one life we have to lead.

in tennis this is focused in the actually v weird and unnatural growing-up process that tennis prodigies endure, and sure if they have the talent they're justifiably admired legends - BUT i think it's to kournikova's immense credit that she realised so early on in her career that she neither had the desire for glory nor, to be honest, the talent for it. she grew up in relative poverty and i think was only ever motivated by money - she now has enough of it that she never has to work again, so she can cocoon herself in florida with enrique (iglesias, not our one) and play exhibition matches for charity when she feels like it. that's a pretty good lifestyle she's got going on, there - in the few interviews she gives these days she talks about how happier and relaxed she is compared to when she was in the top 10. to me, that's someone who's worked out what her priorities are in life, and has refused to pursue hollow goals for the sake of other people - it's v admirable.

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 09:56 (nineteen years ago)

Yes, she's achieved all her hollow goals now!

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 09:58 (nineteen years ago)

hollow goals like being happy and content with her boy vs struggling with injury and form in an ultra-competitive and unpleasant environment towards goals she realised she didn't care about for the next 10 years of her life?

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 10:01 (nineteen years ago)

i don't say this often, but the lex otm.

― Enrique IX: The Mediator (Enrique), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 10:01 (nineteen years ago)

getting famous through being quite cute and not astondingly awesome at tennis is still better than getting famous through big brother.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 10:15 (nineteen years ago)

No, hollow goals like earning shedloads of money, in your words the only thing she's ever been motivated by!

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 10:17 (nineteen years ago)

BINGO.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 10:17 (nineteen years ago)

Mind you, we are veering dangerously towards the Crispian Mills idiocy of "Indian people don't mind being in poverty because they're spiritually rich".

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 10:18 (nineteen years ago)

"veering".

Shedloads of money = greater control of your life. How is that more hollow than any other aspiration?

― Shadow of the Waxwing (noodle vague), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 10:20 (nineteen years ago)

money rocks.

― Enrique IX: The Mediator (Enrique), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 10:21 (nineteen years ago)

Well, people with lots of it don't seem to have any desire to get rid of it.

― Shadow of the Waxwing (noodle vague), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 10:23 (nineteen years ago)

That doens't make the pursuit of it any better though.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 10:24 (nineteen years ago)

all aspirations are hollow.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 10:24 (nineteen years ago)

I'd tend to agree, but the hollowness is a whole lot more comfortable if you've got money.

― Shadow of the Waxwing (noodle vague), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 10:26 (nineteen years ago)

like tennis players who stay in the game aren't motivated by money! i think it's fair to say that MOST people in this world are motivated by £££ to some degree - kournikova had the maturity to realise that she'd gain no greater satisfaction from winning titles and bow out without regrets. and money not only allows her greater control of her own life (which isn't a hollow goal by any means), but allows her to do whatever creative/philanthropic pursuits she feels like doing.

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 10:27 (nineteen years ago)

it would possibly be a 'hollow' goal if kournikova was the desperate c-list celeb i sometimes see her portrayed as, but i think money and stability is a solid, natural goal compared to fame, especially for someone who grew up without it.

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 10:28 (nineteen years ago)

Like release a perfume to make more money.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 10:28 (nineteen years ago)

what's wromg with releasing a perfume?! it's like one of those little-girl dreams, i love the pure indulgence of actually doing it.

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 10:34 (nineteen years ago)

I find the entire concept of perfume offensive on a pretty basic level, so, um, fuck it.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 10:37 (nineteen years ago)

why?!

― Enrique IX: The Mediator (Enrique), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 10:38 (nineteen years ago)

Do you favour everybody wearing khaki boiler-suits, Nick?

― Shadow of the Waxwing (noodle vague), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 10:38 (nineteen years ago)

i'm launching my own fragrance later this year although i still need a name.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 10:39 (nineteen years ago)

Call it O RLY?

― Shadow of the Waxwing (noodle vague), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 10:40 (nineteen years ago)

which two perfumes will you be mixing up steve?

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 10:40 (nineteen years ago)

"Perfume" as a chemical substance has been a constituent part of the Earth's atmosphere for several years now; coupled with all sorts of associations with the decadence of 18th century France and various other things, yeah, I find perfume kind of offensive. Not massively so, but in my total existential panic days at university I had have a bit of a fit about it once.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 10:43 (nineteen years ago)

At the end of the day, my thinking is no different from Anna's as Lex has described it. So I refuse to hate. I quite like the idea of folks getting frothy at the mouth about her lifestyle tho'.

― Hal! Jordan! HAL! JORDAN! (Barima), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 10:45 (nineteen years ago)

haha süskind

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 10:48 (nineteen years ago)

Born the same day as me. I got all the good qualities. He got all the tennis playing skillz.

― Pete (Pete), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 10:50 (nineteen years ago)

The point is that she did not win anything. She won't be remembered because, at the end of the tournament, that's all that counts. Who won. She didn't. Granted, my hate's mostly to do with how she looks: extemely unattractive (to me, I realize most think she's ROWR).

Tim? I don't really hate him. He's too boring.

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 10:53 (nineteen years ago)

perfume makes me horny

as does kournikova.

so it follows.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 10:53 (nineteen years ago)

when you 'release a perfume' do you actually design the perfume then? like mix it yourself? otherwise isn't it just a very standard advertising thing, like "cheese and owen" crisps?

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 10:55 (nineteen years ago)

or do they actually collect the pheromone from her sweat? so she actually 'released' it literally?

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 10:59 (nineteen years ago)

out of her ass.

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 11:00 (nineteen years ago)

kournikova's lack of singles titles is an anomaly though and not reflective of her actual playing ability. players like martina sucha, tathiana garbin and jill craybas have all won lower-tier titles - none have ever been ranked in the top 30, and will never be, because they're not very good. they have hardly any victories over top 10 players.

kournikova, on the other hand, has no lower-tier titles because she played the big events from so early in her career - but she does have numerous wins over elite players (she's still the only player ever to beat four top 10 players in a row), and spent most of her career firmly inside the top 20.

she'll be remembered for kick-starting the russian revolution in tennis if nothing else - for opening the door for future slam champions like myskina, kuznetsova and sharapova.

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 11:00 (nineteen years ago)

All very true, but she didn't win anything. I mean, Rochus could have been a much player if he was taller but he isn't... so he isn't a winner. What I mean is: at the end of the day it's not a s much about skills but titles. Maybe she made the wrong choices. Who knows?

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 11:02 (nineteen years ago)

they think it's all ova.

she's the jimmy white of tennis.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 11:03 (nineteen years ago)

rochus won a tournament a few weeks ago! he beat vliegen in the final. (olivier, that is; i don't think christophe has won anything.)

thing is, even without anna k's insane endorsements and media interest, she would have won more prize money without any titles but with a consistent top 20 level career, than eg sucha with her one small title and otherwise rubbish career...

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 11:08 (nineteen years ago)

keep reading 'titles' as 'titties'.

― Enrique IX: The Mediator (Enrique), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 11:09 (nineteen years ago)

hence the phrase "sucha twat"

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 11:10 (nineteen years ago)

erm xpost

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 11:10 (nineteen years ago)

he did? fuck me. I missed that. :-( Kind of shows I'm not that knowledgeable about tennis. ;-)

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 11:11 (nineteen years ago)

i think it was the first ever all-belgian final on the men's tour!

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 11:21 (nineteen years ago)

Tim Henman is the people's prince: the Prince of Hearts.

― Teh HoBBercraft (the pirate king), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 11:22 (nineteen years ago)

What I mean is: at the end of the day it's not a s much about skills but titles.

Why is that though? Some of the best football players to have graced this world are somewhat lacking in titles. Take, e.g. Wayne Rooney. So far, he's won a League Cup medal. If England keep failing to win the World Cup and Man Utd continue not to win stuff, he won't be picking up many titles. He'll still be a great player.

― ailsa (ailsa), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 11:26 (nineteen years ago)

(and yes, I know tennis is an individual sport and football is a team sport, but I still don't think you can judge an individual's talent just by whatever other people are doing at the same time. Maybe there's another slot in time when Kournikova would have won more things by virtue of there being different people competing against her)

― ailsa (ailsa), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 11:35 (nineteen years ago)

i just want to call her Anna Cornucopia all the time, forever.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 11:38 (nineteen years ago)

I mean, that year Goran Ivanisevic won Wimbledon, Henman had him on the ropes in the semis. The game being delayed due to rain pur Henman of his stride. In other circumstances, he could well have continued with the momentum he'd built up, beaten Goran, got the final against a beatable Pat Rafter, and who knows.

Henman was consistently amongst the top ten players in the world in his prime, as was Kournikova. That requires a level of consistency far greater than just winning one random title one day.

― ailsa (ailsa), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 11:39 (nineteen years ago)

"pur Henman of" = "put Henman off".

― ailsa (ailsa), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 11:42 (nineteen years ago)

I like how you all are acting like doubles tennis doesn't exist; Kournikova has several Grand Slam doubles titles.

(NOTE: I'm not a big Kournikova fan, either.)

― Dan (Propaganda Ueber Alles) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 12:02 (nineteen years ago)

Doubles isn't televised as much, hence the fact we forget all about it? I don't follow doubles that much. I never liked watching it (nor playing it). :-(

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 12:06 (nineteen years ago)

I love watching doubles. They should show that more. Todd Woodbridge = my hero.

― ailsa (ailsa), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 12:12 (nineteen years ago)

todd woodbridge = CUTE, far cuter than rafter!

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 12:22 (nineteen years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.