Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde

this movie looks bad. i noticed the trailer cuts together split-second catchphrases and the only actual joke they include was the dire one alluded to above. that's worrisome.

I never saw the first one. I don't really like movies. But I wanted to see Red, White and Blonde and I went to the theatre and saw it. Tonight.

I went to it alone and it was so hot outside even though it was night and it seemed more humid than it had seemed during the day and I was wearing a bright red shirt.

It was exactly how I wanted it to be. (It really was badly put together and even weird editing things that made stuff look weird.) I was totally amazed. It was like in the movie about those guys who love movies and plan their days around going to different theatres and the one guy loved Audrey Hepburn and he was so sad when she died and all that.

Reese Witherspoon is like a ray of sunshine right into your heart. Even though that sounds kind of stupid. It's true. I can't describe it right, probably. She's crisp and bright like an LCD screen. She's like an alien. She's just perfect. You have to feel sad that she's going to die. Because she is. She's going to be a skeleton someday and so will you. When you're watching you wonder what she's doing right then, when you're watching the movie. (Watching a muted Seinfeld re-run [the O'Brien/limo one], talking to her mom on the phone.)

When I came out I wanted to keep the feeling of her in my head and on my face for as long as I could and I didn't rush out right as soon as the credits came down or think about the guys revving motorcycles in the parking lot or listen to the radio in my car on the way home or watch TV. The feeling's gone now, I guess. Because it's been a while. But even when I try to remember it and the little crinkles around her mouth and does she have freckles? and her big globey eyes and the pink Jackie O dress parting the orchestration of black suits on the wide stairs and when the other kids wouldn't play Lone Ranger with him and I had a teaspoon of tears sitting on the surface of my right eye because I wanted to cry but everyone was laughing at it and they wouldn't come out and just sat there after a bunch of blinks.

I don't know if I've ever seen a movie that was more important to me.

When we were leaving the theatre, someone behind me said, I bet it's cool out now. But with the doors open from everyone exiting in a line, you could feel the heat puffing in. Like the breeze of air you get when you walk into an airconditioned building.

Still, the world is a beautiful place.

That's the ticket.

Elle Woods for President

Charles Herman-Wurmfeld’s Legally Blonde 2: Red White and Blonde, from a screenplay by Kate Kondell and a story by Eve Ahlert, Dennis Drake and Ms. Kendal, and based on characters created by Amanda Brown—presumably in Robert Luketic’s Legally Blonde (2001)—may be the worst film I have ever seen with an actress I have previously adored: in this case, Reese Witherspoon, whom I first saw as a budding teenager in Robert Mulligan’s deeply felt and lyrically articulated The Man in the Moon (1991).

Take the plot—purleese. Ms. Witherspoon’s Elle Woods has emerged from her triumphs at Harvard Law and in Boston courtrooms to take on the U.S. Congress over the burning issue of a major cosmetics corporation’s cruelty to Chihuahuas—particularly one Chihuahua, who turns out to be the parent of Elle’s own pet. (Needless to say, I kid you not.) Elle finds a Washington beachhead in the office of Congresswoman Victoria Rudd (Sally Field), who seems to be on her side at first, but eventually betrays her to further the chances of a bill she considers more important.

If you think this bit of treachery will deter or even discourage Elle from her predetermined triumph, then you can’t appreciate how much power Ms. Witherspoon has come to wield from the spectacular grosses of her recent pictures, or how silly she has turned out to be in making Elle so completely invulnerable to all the slings and arrows afflicting most of the rest of us. The best and funniest scene in the first Legally Blonde occurred when Elle is ditched by her pompous boyfriend, who tells her that he has decided to marry a Jackie O. rather than a Marilyn Monroe type—referring, of course, both to John F. Kennedy’s wife and one of his reputed conquests. After comically hanging onto her beau’s every word, Elle switches into battle mode and never lets up, even after she subsequently suffers a few pratfalls. She gets even in the end, of course, but she has displayed enough grace under pressure to deserve all her good fortune.

In Legally Blonde 2, she turns everyone in Washington into a stooge for her pink whirlwind maneuvers, breathtakingly patterned after James Stewart’s filibustering heroics in Frank Capra’s Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939). In contrast to Mr. Smith, however, Elle never breaks a sweat as she turns her equally silly sorority sisters (with members of all ages and parties) into a massive political force that would make Karl Rove drool with envy. Feel-good feminism has a lot to answer for, first with Charlie’s Angels and now with Legally Blonde 2.

'audibly mocked', 'sneered' - holy shit! holly wood actresses are nasty! holy shit! kevin smith is a totally overhyped and pretty crappy director!

The d k piece up there is up there for potential death review of the year, no doubt.