You know [x] when [y]

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Complete the sentence in wise or diverting ways.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 3 July 2003 19:26 (twenty-two years ago)

er erm redneck erm

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 3 July 2003 19:34 (twenty-two years ago)

I feel neither enwisdomed nor diverted.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 3 July 2003 19:36 (twenty-two years ago)

You know you don't care when you'd rather he'd die than have to bother calling him up and breaking it off.

― Lara (Lara), Thursday, 3 July 2003 19:36 (twenty-two years ago)

That was a little harsh but it was the first thing that came to mind.

― Lara (Lara), Thursday, 3 July 2003 19:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Ok, here's a better one: You know you've got good shoes when heterosexual, music-obsessed men who wear nothing but trainers comment on them.

― Lara (Lara), Thursday, 3 July 2003 19:38 (twenty-two years ago)

You know he likes you when you wake up to find him smiling at you across the pillow.

― Lara (Lara), Thursday, 3 July 2003 19:41 (twenty-two years ago)

You know you had better go do something else when you are the only person contributing to a thread.

― Lara (Lara), Thursday, 3 July 2003 19:42 (twenty-two years ago)

You know the Chinese aren't wise when they divert the Yangtze.

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Thursday, 3 July 2003 19:48 (twenty-two years ago)

you (i) know it's time to call it a night when you can't think of anything even vaguely smart/witty whatever to post.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 3 July 2003 19:50 (twenty-two years ago)

You know [x] when [y] EAT A BAG OF DICKS.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Friday, 4 July 2003 01:17 (twenty-two years ago)

or maybe I'm not doing this right

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Friday, 4 July 2003 01:17 (twenty-two years ago)

You know your coworker is an annoying know-it-all twunt when he somehow works the phrase "Of course you know that Tribeca isn't really a name; it means Triangle Below Canal!" into a discussion of NYC

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Friday, 4 July 2003 03:20 (twenty-two years ago)

You know you're in for a bad driving day when in the first five minutes of your being on the road you get: small-dicked men who want to pass you when you're going 30 down a single-lane residential street, airhead girls who don't even bother to turn on the turn signal when they suddenly decide to screech just in front of you and turn into whatever apartment complex they want to go into, boneheaded businessmen types who yak into their cell phones and thus don't even bother to indicate that THEY ARE ABOUT TO CROSS THREE LANES OF TRAFFIC DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF YOU, and housewives with too much time on their hands who go 5 miles below the speed limit in the left, i.e. fast, lane, thus aggravating everyone who wants to at least go the speed limit on said lane.

*ahem* Sorry. I had some issues to work out there. You know.

― Innocent Dreamer (Dee the Lurker), Friday, 4 July 2003 04:43 (twenty-two years ago)

You know your coworker is an annoying know-it-all twunt when he somehow works the phrase "Of course you know that Tribeca isn't really a name; it means Triangle Below Canal!" into a discussion of NYC.

Ferreal. That's truly the kind of thing that you either know or don't need to know.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Friday, 4 July 2003 04:53 (twenty-two years ago)

*ahem* Sorry. I had some issues to work out there. You know.

If I had it my way, I'd never drive a car again. I'm working on it. Moving to Chicago, buying one of those $75 CTA passes, and selling the car. Man, life's going to be so sweet.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Friday, 4 July 2003 04:56 (twenty-two years ago)

you know, well, you just bluddy know dont you! i have too much i could type on this so i will just leave it at that. grrrrrrr

― donna (donna), Friday, 4 July 2003 05:15 (twenty-two years ago)

You know you're in a mess when you cry at Bruce Almighty.

― N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 5 July 2003 23:17 (twenty-two years ago)

You know me when you see me.

― Cozen (Cozen), Saturday, 5 July 2003 23:27 (twenty-two years ago)

bowlcut.

― RJG (RJG), Sunday, 6 July 2003 18:02 (twenty-two years ago)

That's funny. I'm laughing.

― Cozen (Cozen), Sunday, 6 July 2003 18:06 (twenty-two years ago)

You know it's a real party when someone falls into and shatters a gigantic bathroom mirror and the owners of the house toast to it.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 7 July 2003 12:38 (twenty-two years ago)

(as long as people are smoking too)

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 7 July 2003 12:40 (twenty-two years ago)

You know you're not young anymore when you realize that all the members of your latest favourite band are younger than you.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 8 July 2003 06:52 (twenty-two years ago)

You know the acid's starting to kick in when the spaghetti starts pouring out of your nose and ears.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 8 July 2003 14:09 (twenty-two years ago)

You know you're horny when a strong gust of wind turns you on. Well, either horny or a damn dirty hippie.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 8 July 2003 14:15 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.justlaura.com/0802hemp/pretzel.jpg

― Dada, Tuesday, 8 July 2003 14:16 (twenty-two years ago)

one month passes...

You know your self-esteem is low when when you're pleased that your girlfriend mistakenly calls you by an ex-boyfriend's name.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 09:24 (twenty-two years ago)

You know your girlfriend's not that arsed when she calls you by her ex-boyfriend's name.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 09:28 (twenty-two years ago)

You know the shit's about to hit the fan when I'm in town.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 09:28 (twenty-two years ago)

You also know you have low self esteem if you still get a thrill from seeing cars and pedestrians adjust their passage because of you.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 09:30 (twenty-two years ago)

You know N's not feeling quite right when he's talking like this. U OK?

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 09:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes thanks. The girlfriend thing is from a while ago. It just reoccured to me how fucked up it was!

The traffic one is funny, I've always had that.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 09:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Good good. My philosophy regarding traffic is that they generally don't WANT to hit me.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 09:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, and that's gratifying.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 09:56 (twenty-two years ago)

You know you're lonely when a double bed feels like a canyon.

― David. (Cozen), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 10:43 (twenty-two years ago)

You have reminded me of a revolting Derek B lyric.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 10:46 (twenty-two years ago)

You know it has all gone a bit Pete Tong when you know a man who writes lyrics under the name Derek B.

(Go on, spit it out.)

― David. (Cozen), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 10:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Err.. it's really bad and inappropriate - are you sure you want to know?

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 10:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, go on. And tell me who Derek B is too, please.

― David. (Cozen), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 10:51 (twenty-two years ago)

OK. Derek B was a UK rapper from late 80s.

They're from Get Down and tell the story of Derek getting a lovely lady back to his flat. From memory:

"They were like a pair of beach balls / Below? Below was like the Grand Canyon"

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 10:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm thinking that really can't be right.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 10:57 (twenty-two years ago)

You can all insert your 'you know [x] when [y] jokes' here, now, folks.

― David. (Cozen), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 11:00 (twenty-two years ago)

eleven months pass...

OK. Derek B was a UK rapper from late 80s.
They're from Get Down and tell the story of Derek getting a lovely lady back to his flat. From memory:

"They were like a pair of beach balls / Below? Below was like the Grand Canyon"

I can't figure out if N. is joking here or not. But, for the record, Derek B refers to a completely different American tourist spot. Any guesses?

― Joe Kay (feethurt), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 18:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Disneyworld?

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 18:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Old Faithful?

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 18:47 (twenty-one years ago)

The Empire State Building? Seriously, I can't remember and everything I think of is equally horrifying.

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 18:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Hint: Rappers like rhymes

― Joe Kay (feethurt), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 18:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Ah yes, that does make more sense. I was only young when I heard it. Still, that's a bit much, isn't it?

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 18:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Especially when you consider it in proportion to the size of beach balls.

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 18:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I remember it as basketballs rather than beachballs.

― Joe Kay (feethurt), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 18:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Well then, it's even more ridiculous. This Derek B is going nowhere, mark my words.

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 19:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Niagara Falls?

― Nellie (nellskies), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 01:17 (twenty-one years ago)

ok, that's in Canada.. how embarrassing.

― Nellie (nellskies), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 01:23 (twenty-one years ago)

you were half right and, now, you are the other half right.

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 02:12 (twenty-one years ago)

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