"Would you like a Diet Coke with that?"

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This is the third time in the past month that I've ordered a Coke with my food and the person taking my order has asked me if I meant a Diet Coke. My question is: Would a jury have actually convicted me if I had succumbed to the impulse to pluck these bastards' eyeballs out and shove them up their asses?

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 18 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Are you taking these questions as suggestions that you should actually consider ordering a diet Coke?

― Sean, Tuesday, 18 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i'd be less offended if they said "do you want me to piss in your mouth with that?"

― your null fame, Tuesday, 18 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Hey, that really doesn't beat the long stare of an Express employee as they intone, "You know, there's a Lane Bryant across from here."

― Melissa W, Tuesday, 18 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I now know Dan's weak spot. His idea of hell is served forced to drink Diet Coke while Ma$e endlessly plays.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 18 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sean: Yes. If the question was "regular or diet?" I would see that as asking for clarification. Asking "Did you mean Diet?" shows that they heard exactly what I said and, instead of getting me what I asked for, have decided to make an unnecessary comment.

I will admit that some of this is merely self-consciousness creeping in; I'm about 15 pounds over what I think of as my ideal weight but I'm too lazy to work off the extra pounds, particularly since I don't look overweight at all. At least, I don't think I look overweight, but people keep asking me if I want a Diet Coke. I'm probably overreacting.

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 18 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Melissa: That's happened to my wife. She's gotten people reprimanded/fired for that type of thing.

Ned: Bite me. ;)

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 18 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I prefer diet coke. Its less sweet

― Pennysong Hanle y, Tuesday, 18 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I prefer Coke but will always get the diet question (if not just a diet, w/out the question) because I'm a chick I think. When I drink soda I like it full-flavored, thank you very much.

re: Lane Bryant. Once I walked in one, wanted to try on a pair of pants and was about to ask the salesperson why they didn't have anything smaller than a 14. ooops. I slinked out. I would hit any snotty Express girl for saying something like that. Hell, I'd just hit a snotty Express girl. :)

― Samantha, Tuesday, 18 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You know, a waiter once did exactly this to my girlfriend -- and then, after she specified that she did not want diet, proceeded to bring her diet anyway. In order to understand the enormity of this, you must understand that my girlfriend is definitively not fat or even slightly overweight. At all. I'm not just saying that. Regardelss: I was far more offended by this than she was.

― Nitsuh, Tuesday, 18 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You're assuming you're talking to a person rather than a company policy. I don't know about diet Coke, but didn't we establish a while back that Post Office employees are contractually obliged to tell you you can pay by credit card etc?

I think it's hard on a poor employee, who's essentially an underpaid actor (or, as Disney Corp puts it, 'Cast Member') to get hit by a customer because of the script they're required to deliver. What would Sartre say: Your bad faith is hitting their false consciousness? What would Baudrillard say: Your fist slams into a simulacrum?

― Momus, Tuesday, 18 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Momus, as I said before, I have no problem with someone asking me "Regular or diet?" What I have a problem with is asking for a Coke and having the person stare at me for a second or two before asking, "Diet?" as if there's no way on Earth that I should be drinking anything but Diet Coke. (Hysterical hyperbole added free of charge.)

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 18 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Or as Starbucks says " Partners" . Ha ha ha ha. Its so cute when companies try to make you feel like you are on "The Team".

― Pennysong Hanle y, Tuesday, 18 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Well, maybe they dream of being dieticians, as Gary Numan probably sang somewhere.

― Momus, Tuesday, 18 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I prefer diet coke. Its less sweet

I find it even sweeter than coke, like they're overcompensating for its lack of real sugar.

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Tuesday, 18 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I also think Diet Coke is sweeter, but in a non-sugary, artificial way (whereas Mexican coke clearly just has more sugar). Diet Coke is fucking gross.

― Kris, Tuesday, 18 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'd say that you're probably over-reacting Dan. I always ask for diet because I really don't care for sugar (it leaves me with a sticky, sour aftertaste), but I can't even begin to count the number of times they will ask me if it was a regular that I wanted, and just as often just give me the regular anyway. Now don't start thinking that it's because I'm rail skinny, because I'm far from it. :) It's a bit of speculation, but I'm betting that Diet Coke drinkers are far more adamant about the whole thing too. I mean, if you want diet you will likely have *reasons* for it such as disliking sugar or actually being... on a diet. Above all that consider diabetics that can't have sugar at all - if you're the lowly fast food jockey (or their management), you just might be a little overcautious in case a lack of clarity sends your customer into diabetic shock - so could very well be a company policy. Ever since that one lady dumped java in her 'gina, food service outlets have been overly lawsuit wary, no?

― Kim, Tuesday, 18 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

baudrillard would probably say there's nothing humans lovemore htan the site of a burning waiter and an overturned diet-coke can

― Geoff, Tuesday, 18 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Dan, maybe most clients ask for Diet hence the reason he expects you to do the same. Relax, it's just a Diet Coke.
Diet Coke tastes differently in Europe (not as sweet).

― nathalie, Wednesday, 19 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Today my co-worker and I decided that we needed JUNK FOOD THERAPY. Off to *ULP* McDonalds on the Strand! I had the biggest Diet Coke in the world ever. I wuvved it. The nice lady behind the counter didn't ask me if I wanted FULL LARD COKE instead. For this I was glad.

My office now smells of fries. Co-worker got the chicken wrap meal. DON'T DO IT BOYS AND GURLS. Is bad.

I wish I had had a.....

HOT DAWG!!!

― Sarah, Wednesday, 19 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Blimey. Has the caffeine proved overstimulating?

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Wednesday, 19 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I love my prostate and testicles . This is why apsparteme(sp) never crosses my lips.

― anthony, Wednesday, 19 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'm not sure yet RickyT. Diet Coke is a fickle mistress. At least with coffee you KNOW when the caffiene has hit you.

Considering as soon as I got back to the office we had a two hour long POWER CUT and I had to amuse myself by playing Wigglytuff football with co-worker, discussing loans with another co-worker and reading CAP SCHEMES POLICY PAPERS, my productivity HAS in fact increased cos I haf done more than "stare at interweb".

Don't get in a staring contest with the modern interweb. You shan't win.

― Sarah, Wednesday, 19 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I drank the satanic Pepsi Max today cos the machine had run out of everything else. To my extreme disappointment it didn't make me do extreme sports. It just made me feel even iller. Bugger.

sp = aspartame.

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Wednesday, 19 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Well, obviously you must put on yr crash helmet before drinking Pepsi Max. Yuck. Very vile. I'm now eating Sugar Free Polos. I think they are the best polos! Full Flavour ones are okay but taste a bit chalky sometimes. Whereas sugar free ones taste more like washing up liquid. I feel like phoning up the Polo helpline and having a chat about this. I wonder what their opinion is. They contain mint oil? Wierd. We had mint growing in our garden in Preston but I never ate it. Maybe I should have tried. Wow! Better mint oil than PATCHOULI ugh ugh.

― Sarah, Wednesday, 19 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Tasting like washing up liquid is a good thing? Mints containing minty stuff is wierd? Have you gorn mad?

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Wednesday, 19 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Quite possibly. It's been a hard day RickyT. I will go home, sleep, and contemplate the insanity.

― Sarah, Wednesday, 19 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I know how you feel. My brane has ceased to work and I have spent most of the day coughing my lungs up. I am not a well man.

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Wednesday, 19 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Shit, does that mean you won't be up for Sussed on Thursday?! Eeep! But my power shandy drinking friend, you are needed!

― Sarah, Wednesday, 19 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I dunno, it depends how I feel tomorrow. I feel well rough now, so it's not looking good.

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Wednesday, 19 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

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