Uglification and Derision

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Here is the thread where we make fun of formerly attractive lust objects who do utterly ridiculous things to their appearance to make them not quite so shag-worthy.

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 07:22 (twenty-one years ago) link

Inspired by Kristian Capitol K's horrible and uninspired Shoreditch Twat Indie Trucker makeover last night.

Why, oh why? He used to look like the IDM Alex James, all floppy hair and cheekbones, and now with mullet and matching wifebeater he just looks like the twunt at my high school who used to beat me up.

This is so upsetting.

Though perhaps not as upsetting as when Percy the Adorable Soundman shaved his head...

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 07:24 (twenty-one years ago) link

damon and his pork pie hat.

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 07:38 (twenty-one years ago) link

The pork pie hat was better than baldness, no?

I don't think Damon was ever attractive to start with, though.

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 07:40 (twenty-one years ago) link

The pork pie hat was better than baldness, no?

nnnnot really

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 07:41 (twenty-one years ago) link

Could be worse, could have been a trucker hat. Kristian, why, oh why? Why did you do it? You used to be lovely, now you look like every other twat in Hoxton!

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 07:43 (twenty-one years ago) link

manda rin getting anorexic was pretty horrible as well

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 07:45 (twenty-one years ago) link

Christina Ricci before she began starving herself for roles. now she resembles every other dime-a-dozen starlet.

― Chris Radford (Chris Radford), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 07:45 (twenty-one years ago) link

me cause i've neglected to get a haircut and it's beginning to look like a mullet

― Tad (llamasfur), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 07:46 (twenty-one years ago) link

someone post that awful photo of Bjork

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 07:46 (twenty-one years ago) link

I thought Manda Rin said that she lost weight because being overweight was endangering her health?

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 07:47 (twenty-one years ago) link

i read that as "before she began shaving herself" and i'm all like wtf?!

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 07:47 (twenty-one years ago) link

i.e., my boss has already said "tad, cut that mullet!"

― Tad (llamasfur), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 07:47 (twenty-one years ago) link

manda rin was about as overweight as kelly osborne, i.e. NOT AT ALL

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 07:47 (twenty-one years ago) link

but whatev floats her boat one supposes

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 07:47 (twenty-one years ago) link

And, of course, Alex James getting fat and ugly and turning into a potato and growing a beard has to get a look-in as well...

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 07:47 (twenty-one years ago) link

the facial hair experiments are many and varied and almost exlcusively a big fat fucking mistake

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 07:48 (twenty-one years ago) link

Yes. Facial hair experimentation (unless you are HSA) are a HUGE mistake.

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 07:49 (twenty-one years ago) link

Experimentations. Or should that be "is"? I'm confused by grammar at this point.

Experimental facial hair for experimental music. Heh.

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 07:50 (twenty-one years ago) link

Of course, this man OWNS this thread:

http://www.pioneerhardware.com/mem/0502-1radiohead3-s.jpg

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 07:58 (twenty-one years ago) link

http://planet-mu.33-rpm.net/images/gallery/gallery06.jpg

I mean... why?

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 08:07 (twenty-one years ago) link

OK, fine, I'll just talk to myself on this thread. I am so bored. Why do they even bother employing me at this place if I've got nothing to do except google for bad pictures of otherwise attractive boys?

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 08:40 (twenty-one years ago) link

God, that's so offensive and sexist, judging artists by their appearance, Kate! If this were a man talking about a female artist, you'd be screaming bloody murder. You should talk about the GIANT MONSTER PROG instead of the lame wifebeater and bad mullet. Indeed.

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 08:42 (twenty-one years ago) link

Though Mark H's letter arrived this morning, and I got to read Sonic and Jason being bitchy at each other while I ate breakfast. Hooray! And ah, what lovely photos. Does Jason Spaceman just carry around swhirly backgrounds with him everywhere in case he should ever need to be photographed?

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 08:44 (twenty-one years ago) link

Swhirl, swhirl, swhirl...

http://www.fractalus.com/galleries/images/orange-swirl.jpg

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 08:49 (twenty-one years ago) link

I wonder if I take enough drugs, will things like this appear
http://headeye.com/fractals/kevitch/textured%20spiral%20(2).jpg

Swhirl, swhirl, swhirl...

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 08:51 (twenty-one years ago) link

Well, that didn't work. It doesn't even appear on my computer screen when I post it! Now I am sad.

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 08:52 (twenty-one years ago) link

http://headeye.com/fractals/kevitch/bitchen%20swirl.jpg

This looks a lot like the shirt I am wearing today.

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 08:52 (twenty-one years ago) link

is that a swhirl?

― Chris Radford (Chris Radford), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 08:53 (twenty-one years ago) link

Calling people anorexic because they have lost weight through dieting is sooooo not on.

I have the zine Manda Rin did about her weight loss, which was all about eating three proper, nutritious meals a day and doing this strange thing called EXERCISE - she blamed a sedentary lifestyle and the comfort eating of crisps and sweets for the extra two stone, and was pleasantly surprised at how quickly it came off. She said she was a between-meal snacker for Scotland and once that stopped, her problems were over. She also said that her weight, although not in the obesity category by any means, made her feel slow, slack and unhealthy instead of pleasantly plump.

― suzy (suzy), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 08:57 (twenty-one years ago) link

ACtually, this is more like my shirt:

http://www.sahmdiapers.com/images/paisley.jpg

But with pink and purple as well.

Swhirl, swhirl, swhirl...

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 08:57 (twenty-one years ago) link

http://www.blackcitymusic.com/sonic_boom_images/jo_paul.jpg

WTF ?!?!??!?!

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 09:01 (twenty-one years ago) link

Compare this (num!):
http://i.imdb.com/Photos/Ss/0167260/lotr3_Stills_10.jpg
with this (umm...):
http://i.imdb.com/Photos/Ss/0191754/8

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 09:03 (twenty-one years ago) link

From Numm to Ermm in a glimmering....

― suzy (suzy), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 09:04 (twenty-one years ago) link

http://www.berkshire.net/~ckennedy/panda.jpg

This cat is supposedly Sonic Boom.

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 09:05 (twenty-one years ago) link

What about when former lovers or soon-to-be former lovers start acting in obscenely embarrassing ways like sleeping all over town (and not caring who knows about their slutty ways) with anyone and everyone just to piss you off?

― tricolor nation, Wednesday, 9 July 2003 09:05 (twenty-one years ago) link

Uh! Wait, other people... on my thread. What? Who is that? He's ugly in both pictures, so I must say that the dirtiness in the former is somewhat appealing...

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 09:06 (twenty-one years ago) link

Is the dirtiness all he's got going for him? Not tempted by him being strong and brave and swashbuckling and Lord of Gondor and all that?

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 09:07 (twenty-one years ago) link

All that swashbuckling Lord Of Gondor D&D stuff is a total turnoff. Lord Of Gondor? Well, get in the kitchen and be Lord of Making Supper is more like it.

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 09:08 (twenty-one years ago) link

(I do like that cat, though.)

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 09:09 (twenty-one years ago) link

I'm sure Aragorn could cook up a mean hobbit - I mean rabbit - stew for you on his campfire.

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 09:13 (twenty-one years ago) link

Not very vegetablearian friendly, that. Thanks, I'll stick with the Gr1gs0n cookbooks...

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 09:15 (twenty-one years ago) link

Acting out sexually to Send A Message is a big fat classic DUD. I had a female friend who used this as a confrontation substitute. Would have actually preferred her to say she was trying to prove equality/parity with me through the highly original gambit of targeting my exes for rides on the town bike but that would have been too...honest?

― suzy (suzy), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 09:16 (twenty-one years ago) link

http://village.infoweb.ne.jp/~dogs/sonic_boom/image/sonicphoto2.jpg

This is just so wrong. A cowboy shirt and everything.

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 09:17 (twenty-one years ago) link

The "Being Slutty After A Long Period Of Monogamy" meme can actually be quite freeing in a way. It's quite arrogant of former partners to *assume* that it's directed at them or even a reaction against them. OK, in the case of seeking out and sleeping with friends, that's out of order. But in other cases, it's more a "WHEEEEEE, I'M FREEEEEEE!!!" reaction.

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 09:24 (twenty-one years ago) link

"The "Being Slutty After A Long Period Of Monogamy" meme can actually be quite freeing in a way. It's quite arrogant of former partners to *assume* that it's directed at them or even a reaction against them. OK, in the case of seeking out and sleeping with friends, that's out of order. But in other cases, it's more a "WHEEEEEE, I'M FREEEEEEE!!!" reaction. "

Believe me... it is quite obvious that the whorish behvaior has been directed at me since the point is always made about have many lovers have been added to the ever growing list. You'd think ORGASM ADDICT was named after this person.

― tricolor nation, Wednesday, 9 July 2003 09:29 (twenty-one years ago) link

From this:

http://www.lyons.mcmail.com/blurpoint/biography/alex.gif

To this:

http://mpetesch.free.fr/pics/alex.jpg

To THIS:

http://www.hottrax.com/bandphotos/alexjames.jpg

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 09:32 (twenty-one years ago) link

Yeah, I agree Kate - another friend split up with an emotional leech and spent the first three months of her singlehood shagging for England. It was AMAZING to watch (well, I'm talking acquisitions here, not, erm, mergers) and I didn't care that she scored someone I was nursing a crush on; in fact I was like 'go for it, at least someone I like is getting in there!' And my friend was quite up-front about putting as many bodies between her and her awful ex as possible. Friend then went on to marry after Love At first Sight scenario a couple of months later.

― suzy (suzy), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 09:35 (twenty-one years ago) link

Well, if he/she is doing it to bother you, clearly it is working. So he/she wins.

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 09:36 (twenty-one years ago) link

"Well, if he/she is doing it to bother you, clearly it is working. So he/she wins. "

Just because you have the power to make someone's life miserable does not mean you should do it.

― tricolor nation, Wednesday, 9 July 2003 09:42 (twenty-one years ago) link

You cannot change another person's behaviour. What I am suggesting is that you change your own attitude towards it. If someone is doing something to bother you - especially an ex, and trust me I've been there - the only thing you can do to stop it (or at least stop it bothering you) is to stop caring.

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 09:45 (twenty-one years ago) link

"You cannot change another person's behaviour. What I am suggesting is that you change your own attitude towards it. If someone is doing something to bother you - especially an ex, and trust me I've been there - the only thing you can do to stop it (or at least stop it bothering you) is to stop caring"
I wish I had a switch on my head I could use to turn off this emotion for me. I am in extremely jealous stage which is weird because I think I am also in deep hate.
I think I shall douse myself in alcohol now so I'll have a different excuse to feel bad in the morning.

― tricolor nation, Wednesday, 9 July 2003 09:58 (twenty-one years ago) link

Dammit, I'm trying to put together a similar thing for "Watch Gary Oldman get ugly..." but it's so hard finding pictures of him when he was actually young and attractive on the web! Dammit!

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 10:11 (twenty-one years ago) link

(And just ignore the DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!! outbursts from me any time my ex or his band or his record label or his dog is mentioned...)

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 10:17 (twenty-one years ago) link

shayne carter owns this thread.

― di smith (lucylurex), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 10:21 (twenty-one years ago) link

mind you, he just got craggy and i'm sure it wasn't his fault.

― di smith (lucylurex), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 10:21 (twenty-one years ago) link

Pictorial evidence, please! Perferably in a Before and After format!

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 10:21 (twenty-one years ago) link

only pics i can find: before

http://mypage.direct.ca/j/jniven/alleyfits.jpg

after:

http://www.nzonair.govt.nz/media/music/musicimages/dimmer.jpg

― di smith (lucylurex), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 10:35 (twenty-one years ago) link

(in pic one he's on the far right)

― di smith (lucylurex), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 10:35 (twenty-one years ago) link

His problem isn't that he got craggy, it's that he turned into EVIL KENIEVEL!!!

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 10:37 (twenty-one years ago) link

heheheheheheh.

― di smith (lucylurex), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 10:37 (twenty-one years ago) link

Here is Kristian Capitol K with a much better haircut (though you can't see his face, you can see that his hair is good):

http://planet-mu.33-rpm.net/images/gallery/gallery15.jpg

Out of curiosity, how old is Leafcutter John? Because he looks about 12 in this picture, and he doesn't look much older in person. (Though he is slowly turning into Beethoven with the worried faces)

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 10:40 (twenty-one years ago) link

Speaking of Beethoven faces, it's Gary Oldman. Starting on the road to uglification:

http://www.informatik.uni-freiburg.de/~aka/ss97/pic/Beethov.jpg

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 10:44 (twenty-one years ago) link

Kate - I'm meeting Kristian on Friday for the first time. I'll pass on your comments.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 11:57 (twenty-one years ago) link

EEEP!!! No, don't. Please. But you could ask him about his fantabulous guitar pedals for me! :-)

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 12:31 (twenty-one years ago) link

I'll mostly be discussing his ass your opinion of it.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 12:38 (twenty-one years ago) link

I haven't said a word about his ass! He is a DDB!! HE HATH NO ASS!!!

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 12:41 (twenty-one years ago) link

Do you see an ass?

http://www.epitonic.com/art/artists/capitolk/islandrow_cover250.jpg

Shot from this odd angle, he almost has an ass, but not really:

http://www.absorb.org/img/reviews/l_capitolk.jpg

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 12:45 (twenty-one years ago) link

I'll tell him you think his music is nice :)

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 12:50 (twenty-one years ago) link

I do, actually. So that's fine. Pillow is the best Proggist Bubblegum EVAH WRITTEN!!!

(I'm convinced that this is the reason for the Capitol K hate over on ILM - they are attractive and girls like them. Sigh.)

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 12:55 (twenty-one years ago) link

Can I ask about the breath-powered synths being used up above?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:45 (twenty-one years ago) link

Have you never seen a Melodica before, Ned? And you a New Order fan. The shame!

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:46 (twenty-one years ago) link

Is that really a melodica? I had no idea, I thought they were smaller instruments a la harmonicas.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:54 (twenty-one years ago) link

Those melodicas are in cases - the mint green bits in the photos. Usually they have mouthpieces, and are played along one side, rather than lying flat. Hrmmm... hang on, I'll find you a photo...

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:56 (twenty-one years ago) link

I don't know who this bloke is, but this is the model of melodica that I have:

http://www.cs.helsinki.fi/u/tmielika/twn.jpg

And here is a link to a Better Picture of the Capitol K style melodica.

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:59 (twenty-one years ago) link

Some days I really don't know why they continue employing me at this place.

What else can I image google? Sheesh.

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 14:34 (twenty-one years ago) link

I like this picture:

http://planet-mu.33-rpm.net/images/gallery/gallery14.jpg

I might like it so much that it might replace my Infrared Sonic Boom wallpaper. But then again, I might not like it *that* much.

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 14:36 (twenty-one years ago) link

I finally get to go home. Hooray! I declare this thread over.

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 15:18 (twenty-one years ago) link

(Unless anyone has anything else to add about the hottness of Kristian Capitol K or the decreasing attractiveness of any other slampieces...)

Good night!

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 15:19 (twenty-one years ago) link

How could this thread go this far without mentioning David Sylvian and the *gasp* BEARD?!?!?! I mean, he's still quite the attractive man, yes, but the beard just makes him look horrific and nasty. In fact, he looks bad with any facial hair at all. He's best appreciated aesthetically as a clean-shaven man.

― Innocent Dreamer (Dee the Lurker), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 15:26 (twenty-one years ago) link

?!?!?! I mean, he's still quite the attractive man, yes, but the beard just makes him look horrific and nasty.

If someone has a beard, that goes without saying.

― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 15:35 (twenty-one years ago) link

http://www.mycen.com.my/inbox/swallow.jpg

― Dada, Wednesday, 9 July 2003 19:29 (twenty-one years ago) link

This message area seems to be densely populated with slutty creatures.

― bored with russia, Thursday, 10 July 2003 01:22 (twenty-one years ago) link

i have a pain in my message area

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Thursday, 10 July 2003 01:26 (twenty-one years ago) link

I can't decide which of the last three posts I like the best.

― Chris P (Chris P), Thursday, 10 July 2003 02:15 (twenty-one years ago) link

Everyone you know tells you that your ex-lover is a whore. A slut. Overall piece of shit. You know these accusations to be true. However, it steams you every so dearly that she is not with you!

Surprisingly, this situation is not at all too uncommon.

May the band play on...

― legion of fools, Thursday, 10 July 2003 06:41 (twenty-one years ago) link

However, it steams you every so dearly that she is not with you!

I don't recall the gender of the ex-lover ever being posted! Never ASSUME it makes an ASS out of U and ME.

And keep your outdated Victorian notions of sexuality off my thread.

Anyway! Onward! David Sylvian with a beard? Tell me it isn't so... or at least post photos as proof!

(Beards can sometimes be attractive. But only on the right people. For instance, HSA. I have to say that or he'll beat me.)

― kate (kate), Thursday, 10 July 2003 07:23 (twenty-one years ago) link

This picture really belongs here:

http://www.seattleweekly.com/graphics/features/0325/blur.jpg

Where do I start? Damon's trucker hat? Alex's beard? The general lack of Grahamness? For the first time, Dave has become the most attractive member of Blur, simply by default! Yay, Dave!

― kate (kate), Thursday, 10 July 2003 11:52 (twenty-one years ago) link

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