Drinkers, take note: I have enterd your world.

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As the modem dials, I realize I am into a completely new world.
I will share this special moment with the ILX/ILM community. Laugh or
cherish as you will, this moment enters my history.
I am entering your clube. I am drunk, truly drunk, for the first time.
I have been slightly drunk on many occasions, including the 4th of July,
but now I am entering your club. I am a mild pothead, having experienced that
on many occasions, but although I am not really interested in experiencing
everything there is, it is interesting to be impaired like this. It is a true
impairment, as opposed to being stoned, which is simply a change of scenery.
I recognize that my brain is being pummelled by an outside force, as opposed
to weed, which seems to reinforce and contribute to existing thought processes.
Don't get me wrong; this feels SO DAMN GOOD. It's an incredible feeling. If
I could feel like this for the rest of my life I would be happy, truly happy.
Yet I recognize intellectually that drunks are not happy. Alcoholics leave
sad little lives, and have chronic health problems perhaps leading to their
death.

But for RIGHT NOW; DAMN. I have NEVER felt this messed up. I have smoked
big loads of weed and felt totally unworldly; but this is like being a
different person; I'm not myself. When I type words, they just come into
being, without a thought process creating them. It's like my actions no
longer have a basis in reality.

But it feels so good. My legs are warm and my eyes feel soothing.
I'm listening to Steve Hackett, progressive guitar god, _Voyage of
the Acolyte_ and it sounds like God's plan for earth. There's really no
other way to explain the mix of happiness, otherworldliness, and
true insight that I feel right now. It's like I'm entering a world that's
alien and frightening yet totally inviting and special.

I cannot control my actions! It's a new experience. Each word that I
type seems to create itself out of it's own volition. When I look at the
beginning of this post, I do not remember typing what I just typed.
Being totally drunk is something that everyone should experience - right?
I'm just glad I'm in the safety of my own home. I'm a U.S resident, and not
21, and this is definitely not kosher according to the laws. I am looking
back over this post and I can BARELY remember writing the last paragraph.
It's truly educational to not recognize your own words. It means that you
have achieved a state of dementia. I am backspacing and retyping half
of these words, mind you, most of them are misspelled, I cannot control
myself, as I have already sad.

This music is so perfect. I am going to stop trying to correct my sepelling.
It's important that I get out everything that I think write now. I am so
unusually demented that I just want to have a record of this.
It is 5.28 AM and I feel like I want someone to listen to this, someone to
understand this.

ILE/ILM: I love you.

Let that be an example of how truly drunk I am. I had no idea alcohol was
like this. I had better learn to control myself or I will be an alcoholic.
Because i am so drunk I now realize just how wonderful is the life of
alcoholics. They live not in our world but in a world of dreams and
shadows. A world where every human being is connected, by chemicals.
And even as their world is shattered by health problems (kidneys, liver,
respiratory system, whatever) they are connected with each other by the
magic of alcohol.

WOW!

I cannot believe what is happening. I hope you are all not annoyed by
hearing this. I hope you are amused, at the very least, or even touched.
What I feel now is total emotional attachment to everything. Be it anal
sex, puppies, mormonism, happy smurfs, or punk, i am completely in love
with everything. I had no idea it could be this way. I no longer will have
disdain or disrespect towards alcoholics. I now understand their way of
life, although I do not condone it.

This message could go on forever, but for now let me say this:
I LOVE YOU

I feel love towards every human being on the earth, Hutu, Tutsi,
Serbian, Albanian, whatever. I have to go to bed soon, or at least to
my room, so the people living with me won't realize how drunk I am.
But for right now - RIGHT NOW - I feel totally in love with everything
and everyone. This is not a bullshit comeon - I really do love you right
now.

I just scratched my face and could barely feel it.

― Squirrell Police, Wednesday, 9 July 2003 12:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Squirrell Police you live inside of my head!

― James Blount (James Blount), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 12:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I love booze.

Like E, but legal. :-)

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 12:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Heh wait for the hangover thread.

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 12:41 (twenty-two years ago)

The only time i find myself eating mcdonalds is when hung over

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 12:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Dammit, if it weren't for hangovers, I'd be drunk all the time.

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 12:42 (twenty-two years ago)

If there is no hangover thread I for one will feel very very disappointed.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 12:47 (twenty-two years ago)

But seriously that first post must go down as one of my favourite ever.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 12:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I never meant to give you boo-ooze Squirrel, I never meant to bring you to my world, and now you're lyin' in the corner F'd up, and it's my fault...(I'm sorry!). < /eminem circa 2000>

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 12:50 (twenty-two years ago)

hope you had a good night SP

heh the hangover thread should be classic
the McD's thing could be a thread itself. 'foods you only eat when hungover'

― H (Heruy), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 12:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Okay, I am responding to my own question. How solipsistic is that?
I am still as drunk as ever. Intellectually, I feel bad about
this but EMOTIONALlY and PHYSICALLY i feel better then I have
ever been. The music is so perfect...it's like a rebirth or
reawakening. And yet intellectually I don't want that to be
true - I don't want to be an alcoholic. I do not know if I
will have a massive hangover - maybe! I am so drunk. I drank
10 ounces of hard alcohol (mind you I am slightly fat so I
require a large amount to get drunk) and then, after three
hours of chilling with my friends, I cam home and drank
8-10 more ounces. DAMN I am glad i don't have to go to
work today or tommorow. Thank you for laughing at/enjoying
my drunkness report. It makes me feel special knowing that
people around the world are experiencing this with me. Tommorow
when I'm sober I will laugh at this but right now I feel good.
Hangover? WOW. I have not considred it. I have experienced mild
headaches that I have considered hangovers, but I have neve
rever ever ever been this drunk so maybe i will be so hungover
later today (after I sleep). All I know is that this music
(STEVE HACKETT) sounds like Jesus. my christian uprbringing is
bubbling up through the drunken haze. Remember how I said
I loved you all? I especially love Jesus, which seems weird
but is 100% percent truth. I feel like a moron, but not really.
This is just a phase most people go thru, right?

― Squirrel Police, Wednesday, 9 July 2003 12:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Nick, if you're really there with him, make him VOMIT!

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 12:56 (twenty-two years ago)

The churning, the burning, the vomit the panic the vomit the panic, the fear, oh the fear, the chasm of the delayed after-effects... GRIM! Ph34r the HANGOVER!!!

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 12:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Crikey what a bunch of buzz harshers.

― Tim (Tim), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 12:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Squirrel Police is an excellent drunken typist!

I'm only with him in spirit Matt. Or should I say "spirits"?

Kate in almost accidentally quoting lyrics to "Paranoid Android" shockah!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 12:59 (twenty-two years ago)

When I'm drunk I like to listen to Ol' Dirty Bastard.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:00 (twenty-two years ago)

"I'm a dick"

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Accidentally? What, and you didn't notice the gratuitous Blur reference thrown in there as well?

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:02 (twenty-two years ago)

also known as "yer my best fuckin' mate".

― angela (angela), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:05 (twenty-two years ago)

SP's not drunk. Just a little toasty. He's much too coherent to be drunk.

Not that I'm saying he's doing it wrong.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I do now Kate!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Kenan, I feel like defending my drunkenness by saying that
every word I type I have to retype to maintain legibility and
that it took 3 minutes to type 'legibility' but I plan on now
drinking a bit more alcohol and if I pass out or die I blame
it on you. I honestly don't see how I could be much more drunk;
the last 20 minutes feel like hours; but if such a thing is
achievable I will try it. I will drink some more booze, and if
I can still walk (I am stumbling now) i will tell you how
it goes.

P.S I am listening to UK's firsat album now. It is damn
good. I am going to walk upstairs and drink a bit more
alcohol - now much, I do not want to black out tha owuld
SUCK, what's the point of enjoying yourself if you forget?

― Squirrel Police, Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:17 (twenty-two years ago)

This thread makes me happy.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:26 (twenty-two years ago)

SP if you can see the screen to type and the room is not rotating you ain't that drunk!

― smee (smee), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Yet.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:29 (twenty-two years ago)

PEAK
I just let my eyes relax and cross as the music hit a climax;
it's like pot high but slightly boringer but also slightly stronger
I can't explain it, i can't explain shit I feel like a giant fence
that is keeping starfish away from a giant avacado that is defending
earth from the attack from Mothra. See how messed up I am? I wrote that
last sentence in completely sincerity, which is interesting and
fascinating yet strange and scary. I had better sleep soon.

the room is rotating I cna't eblieve that people can not acept the fac tthat I am drunk and yet my typoing reflex is so strng that I can't stop styping, I hav ebeen online since I was 10 year sold and so I am used to spellchecking automatically yet I have elleft the last few snetences unspellchecked yet I had better got up too my room soon ro I waill fall asleep and it will be ambsarassing but this is prrof that I am drunk yet why o I feel like this in essccesary? I do not know why but I am sleeping now goodbye.

― Squirrel Police, Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:30 (twenty-two years ago)

This definitely sounds more like E than alcohol. I wish I got drunk like this.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Okay, he's drunk.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Oooh it's good to be back, this post is hysterical!

"I cna't eblieve that people can not acept the fac tthat I am drunk and yet my typoing reflex is so strng that I can't stop styping, I hav ebeen online since I was 10 year sold and so I am used to spellchecking automatically"

I have been walking since I was about 1 year sold and so I am used to doing it automatically, however when completly drunk.....

― smee (smee), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:35 (twenty-two years ago)

It's 9:30 in the morning here, and I'm at work, but you guys are taking the pain away.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually yeah, by the last post, definitely booze.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Just don't pull a Hendrix.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:42 (twenty-two years ago)

In other words take your dog with you.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I've been sobering up for 8 hours now, mostly spent in
bed, mostly asleep.

On a related note, HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU FUCKERS DRINK BEER.
That shit is SOO nasty. I had beer for the first time last
night and thinking back on it brings makes my lip twist
in disgust. It tastes like dirty socks, yo.

So anyway. Right now I feel like never drinking a drop
of alcohol again. The headache isn't that bad, really,
but it's combined with aching legs and overall dullness.
Last night I may have felt like a badass but now I just
feel like a dumbass.

Alcohol is retarded. I'll stick to pot, thanks.

― Squirrel_Police (Squirrel_Police), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 21:53 (twenty-two years ago)

And there we have it.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 21:57 (twenty-two years ago)

>On a related note, HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU FUCKERS DRINK BEER.

Beer is the drink of the gods. The trick is to buy the kind that doesn't taste like dirty socks. But if getting drunk is the goal, you shouldn't be using the good stuff beyond one or two beers.

>So anyway. Right now I feel like never drinking a drop
>of alcohol again. The headache isn't that bad, really,
>but it's combined with aching legs and overall dullness.
>Last night I may have felt like a badass but now I just
>feel like a dumbass.

Yes, I have felt like this many many time. The fact that it was many times and not once should tell you something.

>Alcohol is retarded. I'll stick to pot, thanks.

You'll be back.

― fletrejet, Wednesday, 9 July 2003 22:02 (twenty-two years ago)

What a lovely thread, much thanks sp. You develop a taste for beer, like wine or stinky cheese. Fear not.

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 22:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Here's to alcohol the cause of and solution to all of life's problems. - Homer.

Beer rulez dood

― That Girl (thatgirl), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 22:37 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.gene.ucl.ac.uk/public-files/packages/dcurtis/webstuff/Public_HTML/strange.jpg

― Dada, Thursday, 10 July 2003 00:12 (twenty-two years ago)

I was wondering when the hangover was going to hit... :-)

― kate (kate), Thursday, 10 July 2003 09:18 (twenty-two years ago)

this is a great thread. but SP's reaction to alcohol puzzles me. what was he drinking?

(and while i'm at it, someone explain why "entering your clube" failed to invoke the appearance of one Mr D Perry? i mean, jaysus)

― rener (rener), Thursday, 10 July 2003 09:57 (twenty-two years ago)

rener, i was drinking rum and vodka, which are my usual
drinks but only in small amounts (I tasted beer and hated
it). for some reason I decided to go all the way. but this
morning i woke up, and although i was slightly naseous and
sore and I had a small headache, i also had this tremendous
sense of wrongness, both physical and psychological.
Alcohol is a depressant and I felt, well, a bit depressed. it's
not like pot, which leaves me with a sense of tremendous
well being that can last for days afterward.

so anyway, the buzz was nice but the comedown was harsh.
so i guess the thread title is wrong; i am not into it, i
don't like it, from now on i will only drink in moderation.

― squirl plise (Squirrel_Police), Thursday, 10 July 2003 10:29 (twenty-two years ago)

i also had this tremendous
sense of wrongness

Welcome to ruin!

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Thursday, 10 July 2003 10:33 (twenty-two years ago)

four weeks pass...

I'm back! I got drunk again! I don't know how drunk,
but I dranka s mjuch as last time. Heheheh. I haven;'t
checked this board for fuckin weeks, because of my busy
work schedule, but I felt like updating y'all! I don't
give a FUCK about theg hangover, I plane on drinkin ga
loty of water to possibly omoderate it; anyway, I have
to go downstairs and watch tv with my friends; there's
this hot chick amanda who I think would not normally giv
me a chance but she is so fuckin drunk and stoned too
that maybe we can make a total connection and possibly
even fuck :-) grin

I luv you guys
especially ally and alex is new york, for some reason I
love you guys espeically, but all of you, y'know?
even you, kenan!!!
I feel like a 15 year old girl, even though I'm a
19 year old male

Maybe I should update this thread EVERYTIME I get drunk?
I dunno.
whaddya think?

― Squirrel_Police (Squirrel_Police), Thursday, 7 August 2003 06:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I think it could end up being longer than the truckerhats thread in that case (I shall continue this paragraph purely because I banned myself from one-liners for a week and I think that's enough).

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 7 August 2003 12:55 (twenty-two years ago)

drink, sigh, how i longed for you whilst in america. whatsup with that 21+ shit over there. i mean im over 18, if im technically old enough to get laid over there, why couldn't i get access to the only thing that might possibly make it happen?

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Thursday, 7 August 2003 13:01 (twenty-two years ago)

> i guess the thread title is wrong; i am not into it, i
don't like it, from now on i will only drink in moderation.

> I'm back! I got drunk again!

How it always works.

― H (Heruy), Thursday, 7 August 2003 13:18 (twenty-two years ago)

the best times are the random screaming

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 7 August 2003 13:24 (twenty-two years ago)

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